Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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make a wish foundationmake a wish and see if one of us can make it come true for you. alternatively, make a wish for a fellow b3tan.
alt: what's your most treasured possession?
altalt: who is the ugliest person on the planet?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:29,
127 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
I wish Monty's Daughter would grow up with a basic understanding of finances.(, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:31, Reply)
a wish for a sock puppetthat's very generous of you
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:32,
Reply)
imagine if he has kidshe'll be like the josef fritzl of north london
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:47,
Reply)
well, mrs fritzl didn't know they had a basement either(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:50,
Reply)
I'll be nice and wish Monty got more access to his daughterAlt:
Probably my guitar
AltAlt:
This cunt in my bathroom. Keep staring me out when I'm shaving
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:32,
Reply)
AltAlt: You should cut him with your razor.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:51,
Reply)
I keep hitting his hand instead(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:56,
Reply)
i wish that quentin could grow a neckalt: my mother's ring. no, not piece. just ring.
altalt: jimmy savile probably held that title. or maybe robin cook. these days maybe jimmy nail?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:37,
Reply)
I wish Monty's ex wouldn't be such a cuntThat way he wouldn't whinge about it so much.
Alt: Probably my external hard drive.
AltAlt: Iain Dowie.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:39,
Reply)
Do you reckon if Monty's ex wasn't such a cuntthen we'd all be a lot less sympathetic about how terrible his life is?
(, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:45, Reply)
I wish that I could see my b3tan friends again.alt: I think my most treasured possession is either a silver and opal ring, my scrap book/diary full of stuff from europe, or my gold and crystal ring...
Alt alt: doc martin.
(, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:39, Reply)
I wish that anyone on here with a fractured family could get their family back.Alt: My late father's Gurkha felt (Jungle hat) and his set of Wilkinson fighting knives
Altalt: Simon Cowell - maybe not physically but his soul is ugly.
(, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:42, Reply)
alt: Mint condition UK 1st pressing of 'Are You Experienced?'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:43,
Reply)
I don't need to play it cos my pal at Universal, you know, the made up one,gave me a 180g remastered double album of the same thing which actually sounds 10 times better than the original. I also already had a 1980s German reissue which cost about £8.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:48,
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How many lost sales will that 'gift' from your 'pal' equate to?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:50,
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They get a monthly allowance of stock.Very kindly he gave me a huge pile of remastered heavy vinyls, at full price about £300 worth.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:51,
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I'd like friends like that.In fact, thinking about it, my friends are looking a bit shit now.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:53,
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He's a fantastic fellow.He's currently got one of those magic mushroom kits on the go and has promised to share them with me when they're ready.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:54,
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I love mushrooms.It was a sad day when they closed the loophole that allowed head shops to sell them.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:56,
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My stupid brain doesn't accept magic mushroomsAll I got was slightly full from them
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:00,
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My brain fucking loves them.My bowels, less so.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:05,
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Everyone should try them.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:01,
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Not sure about that.Certain dispositions are not suited to hallucinogens at all.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:02,
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I can't think of a better way to find out.Kind of a natural selection.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:03,
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I don't think you would like them to be honest.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:01,
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Is she too mentally unstable?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:03,
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Nah but I think she'd shit herself when things got too freaky.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:05,
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I knew it was coming when I saw sandwichboards on fucking Oxford St advertising them.On the last ever day before they were illegal I bought the entire stock from one place for a pittance and dried them out. A rare piece of foresight by me.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:01,
Reply)
Good thinkingIt would only be bettered if you could wander round fields and collect the for free
(, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:24, Reply)
You cannot pick giant Thai mushrooms in the UK you div.They are as different from the (also great) UK ones as night and day. Different effect entirely.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:28,
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I didnt spot any Thai referenceEdit: I hadnt realised the kits were Thai, I have only ever had the british ones.
(, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:31, Reply)
Somebody needs to give me a lasting cure for this crippling nob-rot I've got. That'd be a huge help.Alt: As sad as it is, a Fischer CD case for my old Golf. They're really rare and all the scene dicks go crazy for them.
I mean, sure, I've got some stuff from my dead father. Awards from the Met for bravery etc, but no fucker wants to buy those off me. That CD case gets me serious props, man.
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Kroney, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:43,
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i can't believe you've still got that manky old shitheapswap it for a shiny
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:46,
Reply)
I haven't!But I'm going to get another and have the thing completely rebuilt, aside from the shell.
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Kroney, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:49,
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get a shinyyou'll spend less on the monthly finance than you do on that crapola
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:51,
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Bravely kicking suspects down the stairs to the cells, bravely sitting on his arse when he was suppoded to be investigating crimes.(, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:46, Reply)
Felt guilty about setting it alight, did he?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:49,
Reply)
I suppose he did, after a fashion.Couple of car thieves, he was passenger in the car chasing. They tried to take a corner too fast and rolled it. Petrol line split etc.
No huge Hollywood explosion, though.
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Kroney, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:51,
Reply)
Just because they were black and in a car doesn't make them thieves.Typical met.
(, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:55, Reply)
Stephen Lawrence was driving, and Damilola Taylor was the passenger.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:57,
Reply)
Just a stab in the dark(ie)(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:02,
Reply)
If I tell you what my wish is, then it won't come true.This is included in the standard terms & conditions of most wish-granting deals.
Alt: My guitars and my records /ac
Altalt: We are all beautiful on the inside.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:49,
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altalt: that Goatse man isn't.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:50,
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I haven't looked as closely as you.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:54,
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oh, has he finally got a girlfriend?he's never ever mentioned that before
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:57,
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I've never met him.Seems alright to me though.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:52,
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i think there's something quite hot about himalthough we share a beautician and she's quite indiscreet about what she does to him
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:57,
Reply)
Swipe's back, sack and crack waxes are well known(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:01,
Reply)
I heard he has to have his trouser waists so far up to stop his enormous 'louis walsh' accidentally being unleashed(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:58,
Reply)
He has a giant, mangled anus?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:03,
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I wish I had a big sandwich to be honest(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:51,
Reply)
you're easily pleasedgo to subway, get a nice footlong.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:54,
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I'm not wasting a wish on a subway(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:57,
Reply)
where's gonz and his manwiches when you need him?(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 10:58,
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it's a loo dear, you've been south for long enough to know that(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:17,
Reply)
I wish I had a prehensile tailalt: no idea, don't really care that much, photos and shit probably.
altalt: Bobby
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:09,
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I've still got all those pictures of your kid on that camera I found.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:18,
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Also, if I could have a wish? that's doable?I want to learn how to flying trapeze. it looks amazing and full of trust.
(, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:10, Reply)
We all seen this?http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-21144827
What lies were you told, or what are you telling your poor, unfortunate sprogs? Anyone who mentions ice cream vans will be summarily executed.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:12,
Reply)
My parents told me we couldn't get ITV on our television until I was about 6.To date I've not lied to my kid once. I don't even think playing along with Father Christmas is right, and was hugely relieved when she left her Catholic primary school as I was starting to have serious issues with the hogwash they were telling her.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:17,
Reply)
and your mum told you that she liked teh cock(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:18,
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I don't remember her saying that to me, no.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:20,
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I don't blame them.ITV is abjectly shit. I used to like Rainbow, though.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:18,
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I got told all sorts of crap.Father Christmas is real.
Broccoli makes you tall.
Spiders are your friends.
No, those people aren't laughing at you, they're laughing with you.
That's the dinner tram, and the one behind it with the lights out, that's the dessert tram - you have to swap when you want to have your next course.
(, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:21, Reply)
I've never heard the one about broccoli.I used to get told that toast (and bread crusts) would make my hair curl.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:23,
Reply)
yeah I got that one too.but my hair was so curly anyway and I loved it, so I ate ALLL the bread crusts I could get my hands on.
(, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:26, Reply)
Yeah, until she went off the rails(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:27,
Reply)
yeah, well I didn't go on one, I was just sitting at the tram stop watching the world go by.(, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:33, Reply)
Dear Wishing fairy (not you Darth) ......please make Swipe and Chomp get along so we don’t keep getting tit for tat threads
Alt:Possibly not my most treasured possession, but it would hit me hard if I was to lose them is my photo collection, one day I will get around to scanning all my pre-digital ones.
altalt: This
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:28,
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She has her good days, when she's all smiley(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:33,
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To win or each way B3th(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:37,
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Are rare, undiagnosed conditions allowed?Because Joseph Merrick has her beat, hands down.
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Kroney, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:35,
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Well this is so dull that I'm going to answer HH's previous thread.On 9/11 I was on my mum's sofa. During the London bombings I was at work.
Battenburg.
I have done all of those things and I am not middle-aged yet.
GLAD WE HAD THIS CHAT
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Kroney, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:58,
Reply)
Now please tell us about your Midwife crisis(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 11:59,
Reply)
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