Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Hi guys!!!! Monty here, just starting a new thread!!!!!Let's have a good news/bad news thread!!! They're always superLOL.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 11:49,
231 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
Good news I'm seeing a flat I'm very interested in tonightBad news if I like it, it'll be £355 in fees before I even sign the contract.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 11:52, Reply)
I haven't rented a flat in about 13 years but I don't remember ever having to pay fees.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 11:54,
Reply)
£100 per person for a credit check.Which lets face it, if a fucking joke.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 11:55, Reply)
What you're doing here, Chompy, is getting raped.What you should do is march into the office, pull down your trousers, bend over a table and yell "if you're going to do it, just do it!" until you get thrown out.
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Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 11:56,
Reply)
The only thing i can think about doing that won't put the rental in jeapordy.Is pay it, get a reciept and then complain to the letting agents association later.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 11:58, Reply)
If you're going to rent the flat anywayand sign a document that says you agree to paying those fees, then you deserve the apathy you'll get when you complain.
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Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:02,
Reply)
I rented one last yearI certainly didn't have to pay that much. It was under a tun, for sure.
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Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 11:55,
Reply)
The management company will literally rape you for fees.And if WW is reading this and wants to get offended at my use of the word rape to trivialise a company carrying out a legal transaction, I don't fucking care and I hope you get raped again as this would be very funny.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 11:55, Reply)
This got linked earlier.www.b3ta.com/questions/selfimportant/post1842871
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 11:57, Reply)
Have you met my friends Bambi & Thumper?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:31,
Reply)
Oh, now, steady on.People might think you're talking SERIUS on the INTERNET.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:10,
Reply)
I ordered a tablet device - yay!It was due to arrive today but didn't - boo!
In other news, it's warm and wet outside - just how I like it!
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 11:53,
Reply)
Some no-name cheapy one. It's just for reading books - it was only £42.Requirements were: internet, book-reading capability, big enough to read comfortably on but small enough to fit into suit jacket pocket.
Considering a basic Kindle only does books and is £50 second hand, it seemed like the best idea. Did I do good?
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 11:57,
Reply)
Ear yew go:www.amazon.co.uk/gp/offer-listing/B0099NPR84/ref=dp_olp_new?ie=UTF8&condition=new
EDIT: looking at it, it seems to have gone up now.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:00,
Reply)
It will also enable me to do my make up in it while sitting on the train.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:03,
Reply)
Not to mention patience.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:06,
Reply)
as a girl, I don't really have this problem.I do lazy makeup for the most part. A little eyeliner and mascara and lip balm. That's usually it if I want to dress up.
If I want to go to town, it takes about 10 minutes to do my face.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:08, Reply)
See, my problem is that I have absolutely ENORMOUS eyes, so doing my eyes takes about 10 pints of mascaraand a half-hour train ride.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:13,
Reply)
Erm ... I have absolutely no idea, I'm afraid.I just want it to read books on, really, and get the internet should I want it.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:11,
Reply)
no idea.I'm looking at either a surface/ipad for my birthday. Parents said I had to get something big. I think I'm going to ask for the surface as it's the less expensive (ie, less for my parents to fork out) and it avoids the apple consumerism...
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:00, Reply)
also, it's really light, and slim, and adobe compatible, so I can use it to write notes instead of printing out reams of paper note outlines to add to.(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:15, Reply)
I have no idea what you're talking about there.But just so you know, the new ipads come out in march, which at least will push the other models back price-wise.
The new ipads are going to be a lot thinner/lighter this year, using all that tech they learnt from the iPad Mini.
But saying that, I'd quite like a Surface myself.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:56,
Reply)
Good news, I have Monday off nesxt weekBad news, the time between now and the weekend will be frought and shit
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 11:54,
Reply)
goddamn work. I got two new jobs this week. I'm now a nanny on monday and tuesday evenings, and a takeaway cafe bitch on tuesday mornings and all day friday.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 11:57, Reply)
good news birthday in twenty days, which means free awesome shitBad news im turning thirty
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 11:56,
Reply)
Yeah shut up Swizzle I'm 40 this year :o((
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 11:58,
Reply)
wellYou'll always be older than me
you AND Al :D
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:00,
Reply)
but you're still olderSo I can be all "well al is doing so much better than me, house, wife, etc...but he is older than me so I have a bit to catch up"
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:04,
Reply)
TrueAnd you can always look at Monty and say "At least I'm not doing as badly as him"
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:08, Reply)
hahahahahahaHe still has a kid and his own place though :(
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:10,
Reply)
A kid whom I have not seen in 2013.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:13,
Reply)
Totes having a drink for you. but not til I get home from nannying.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:13, Reply)
Hey Monters. I put a hawkwind live album on in the pub on Sunday night. And cried.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:01,
Reply)
I am v gutted you couldn't come.But also quietly relieved as I was so fucking bollocksed that I would have been a disgrace. Next time eh?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:06,
Reply)
It's almost like you have no sense of moderation.Doesn't sound like the Monty I know. Is everything ok at home?
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Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:08,
Reply)
On the whole the fact that I am a monumental hardman at the old 'entertainments' game stops me from ever being noticeably worse for wear.This time I got caught out.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:10,
Reply)
next time for sure. I'm going to be in London a fair bit at the beginning of Feb. I'm sure we can catch a pint somewhere.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:11,
Reply)
I should get the dates today at some point. I'm going round a bunch of London pubs doing front of house training, as apparently my feedback scores are excellent, and everyone else in my district is shit. Which will only lead to me upsetting other managers by telling them how to run their own pubs. I will need a few drinks after that.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:14,
Reply)
Let me know where and I can come and let you know if you are doing it right. (, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:17, Reply)
one piece of feedback from one of the pubs that a customer sent in was"the young barman told me the food was a bit shit, because the second chef was on, and he's from poland"
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:30,
Reply)
Good news - We've just been given our first artwork approval of the weekWhich is nice.
Bad - We've got another one to come, and I've got another to start from scratch, after we received shit instructions over paper size at the start.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:01,
Reply)
Good news - the wheels are in motion for the digital release of our albumBad news - still waiting for a decent pressing of the vinyl.
I know that you are all on tenterhooks about this exciting musical event, so I'll keep you all updated.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:06,
Reply)
I'll be honest, I don't really know what that means.Do you mean you would like to take a copy of it without paying for it, effectively stealing food out of the mouths of my children?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:12,
Reply)
This is exactly what i would like to dobut don't worry the free album could lead to additional revenue from ticket and merchandising sales
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:13,
Reply)
Good news, it's payday on Thursday for the first time since before Christmas. I'm not currently paying any rent.Bad news: no sign of my inheritence. No sign of a flat move. Still got old shitty car due to lack of inheritence. Am the subject of office gossip again. My back hurts. We're short staffed at work again.
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Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:10,
Reply)
What's the gossip?Also why don't you post links to the flats you are looking at so we can judge them for you?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:11,
Reply)
I've been seeing one of the girls upstairs.The other week one of the directors saw us out. This director is the office girls' boss' boss. We've been seen around by other people, too. Nobody's said anything to me, but the girl has been asked some questions.
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Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:14,
Reply)
Probably questions about girth and technique(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:16,
Reply)
Questions like 'is it true he's got a micropenis?'(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:16,
Reply)
One of the other office girls I went out with a few years backdid indeed tell one of the receptionists my measurements. Fast forward three years to this Christmas party just gone and I am surprised by a "sooo....I hear" question by a forty five year old mother of three.
That was well awkward.
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Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:20,
Reply)
The moral to this subthread is"don't sleep with work people".
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Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:21,
Reply)
What fucking business is it of theirs. It's not like you are rutting in the disabled cludge.
Or beasting her up and down this guy's desk?
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:16, Reply)
you could make up your own gossip for the office?therefore they talk about what you want them to?
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:12, Reply)
Good news - I'm backBad news - you only get me for an hour or so.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:11,
Reply)
Someone is being a cunt to Monty and he's bleating. Sort it, luv. Will yer?
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:12, Reply)
Might as well ask her to fly.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:13,
Reply)
Unfortunately it's the window and the aisle.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:15,
Reply)
Implying it's one of us and they're here RIGHT NOWOh, the intrigue.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:18,
Reply)
Please confirm that is not one of my two accounts as Al seems to think.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:19,
Reply)
I can confirm it's neither shed nor Legless is a cunt.However, there's no-one above suspicion at the moment. many of you have 'form' in this area.
Also, if this is the most exciting thing happening here at teh moment, we're doing well...
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:22,
Reply)
2.Edit: Shed's name has been changed to Legless is a prick
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:24,
Reply)
whatevs, you just change what our posts say anyway(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:12,
Reply)
What a fucking cheek. 'Monty's Ex' has me on 2.0.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:17,
Reply)
You'll be hearing from their lawyer soon enough.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:19,
Reply)
Not being funny b3th, but what do you actually do as a MOD given that you don't actually do anythint to assist these obvious breaches of the conditions of using b3ta?(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:23, Reply)
If ONLY our campaign to get me mod had succeeded.I'd have none of this shit I can tell you.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:24,
Reply)
You should tell Rob.Tell him they all want you to be mod instead of me.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:26,
Reply)
Yes but they don't b3th, that would be a lie/George Washington
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:29,
Reply)
As much as they let me do. You could always ask Rob to send one of the real mods round. I'm sure it would only improve this place.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:25,
Reply)
Not so as you would notice.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:31,
Reply)
Too obvious/easy:(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:35,
Reply)
that's quite funny. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:22,
Reply)
It would be funnier if the real one wasn't doing the same IRL.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:24,
Reply)
She's had my solicitor on 2.0 since September.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:28,
Reply)
I'm sure this will ultimately work out well for her.Everyone knows that if you refuse to acknowledge the law, it just goes away.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:30,
Reply)
If you are the woman, and you have custody, they will do fuck all.Four breaches of a court order in a month, and an arrest for assualt, and I get sod all.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:32,
Reply)
chill homes. These things take a while. You've got to be patient, keep plugging away with letters and being reasonable. And next time she attacks you, try and fall down some stairs, get some decent injuries, then tell everyone she pushed you.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:38,
Reply)
A questionSince downloading music and films without the owners approval is terrible and wrong, would the same apply if it were possible to download food?
Would the person who first grew a carrot have the right to say it was wrong and terrible that lots of people had copies of the carrot that they put the effort into growing that carrot?
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:22, Reply)
I'm totally coming down to Barnet in the spring and stealing all your vegetables.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:29,
Reply)
Some cunt has already done that.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:34,
Reply)
I hide in the bushes in front of my house every night with my rape hammer, just in case they return.Sadly most of my victims so far, as far as I can tell, have had nothing to do with the vandalism on my car.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:45,
Reply)
i think that we should be able to order food like it is on tvHave several food network restaurants, you call up and be all "oh yeah, nadia g had some fucking mushroom tortellini with some kinda sauce that took 20 hours to make, I want that" and then you go get it
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:36,
Reply)
monty has many problems, online bullying is the least of his worries :((, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:25, Reply)
I wish somebody hated me enough to make a fake quinten profile mocking my extravagant lifestyle(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:30, Reply)
When I first set up my spare account there were three Quentins on here, so I used a similar username, but never actually posted with it.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:33,
Reply)
this place would be improved a million per cent if there were more quentins(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:35, Reply)
It's because he's such a dreadful cunt.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:24,
Reply)
seems nice enough to me, you all need to man-up and stop getting upset when he points out how shit your taste in crunk and dubstep is(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:27, Reply)
it's you isn't it. You're jealous of his Internet fame.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:24,
Reply)
oh boy oh gee oh yes!You know my secret, but actually this is a very upsetting post because I figured I was at LEAST as internet famous as monty
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:26, Reply)
You used to enjoy a good sparring session with Monts though, didn't you?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:28,
Reply)
Nowt wrong with a bit of an old spar now and again.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:33,
Reply)
the one by me is a 7-11 now. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:35,
Reply)
you were quints, but you've mellowed in your old age, and are barely here. Heroes are soon forgotten
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:33,
Reply)
NoAl's being disparaging and Monty wants to take the only perk I have left in life.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:31,
Reply)
See, I was trying to think of a tit joke but I couldn't think of a decent one.Nice to have you come through in a pinch, Q.
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Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:35,
Reply)
I'm not being a dick here, but what powers do you have? I'd have said both the montys daughter and ex accounts are not cool, can't you get rid of them?
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:35,
Reply)
no she can'tAt best she can edit the posts hilariously, or cry to a real mod
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:36, Reply)
The daughter one was perma banned I think.what I find odd is that the posts don't get deleted when the account does.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:36,
Reply)
No.I can edit or delete posts, but don't have the top secret super codes for modding actual user accounts.
To be fair, that's a lot of power, and I guess Rob didn't want to start handing round teh keys to the office to everyone.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:36,
Reply)
there's probably a big fat DELETE button she can't see because there's a cake in front of her monitor(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:38, Reply)
yeah but I'm super popular. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:40,
Reply)
Al is always disparaging.He does that to deflect attention away from how adorable he actually is.
And if you are a MOD with no actual MOD powers, then you can't reasonably call yourself a MOD, can you?
Fair, clear and not misleading etc etc.
You disgust me.
(, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 12:36, Reply)
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