new thread
Let's talk about your body. Accidents? Surgeries? Scars?

Alt how do you keep fit

Altalt best cuddling methods
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:43, 217 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Stomper!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:44, Reply)

damnit

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:48, Reply)

I have a scar on my knee from when I fell over aged 11 and had to have it stitched up.
I had about three or four operations on my ears as a small child to treat my glue ear.

Alt: I'm not fit.

Altalt: Cuddling methods?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:48, Reply)

glue ear?
Cuddling methods, like specific blanket, music, whatever
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:50, Reply)

Partial deafness in children:
www.nhs.uk/conditions/Glue-ear/Pages/Introduction.aspx

I, er, use my arms and, like, squeeze?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:51, Reply)

oh my god
Did someone forget to put you in the recovery position? :(
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:54, Reply)

It was awful.
Also, mindpiss.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:55, Reply)

Many accidents
Scars on every finger. Stitches on forehead from slipping over as a kid. Stitches around eye from being kicked to fuck. Stitches on elbow from having vodka and coke thrown at me by ex

Alt:
Dog walking/running

AltAlt:
Struggle
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:51, Reply)

Is that why you are so good-looking?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:52, Reply)

Just good genetics

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:04, Reply)

Lies, you've actually been assembled from parts and brought to life via lightning strike

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:35, Reply)

Sportscow X

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:36, Reply)

the brain of a common murderer

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:47, Reply)

i like to run my dog down the street
Just the one street though
I'm too fat to be doing all that jogging nonsense
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:59, Reply)

Scars on my wing mirrors from all my kicking practice.
I cuddle using my mind. It's completely organic.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:52, Reply)

wing mirrors?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:55, Reply)

You'd better not park on my road or your wing mirrors gonna pay the cost.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:56, Reply)

you're a fucking nerd

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:58, Reply)

You love it.
Imma make the best pulled pork tomorrow K, you're gonna wish you were at my mum and dads house.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:59, Reply)

tomorrow is my moms pre-op appointment
I made pulled chicken barbecue last week, I make a bomb ass barbecue sauce
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:01, Reply)

Do you actually make it, or do you open a can?
If you make it, can I have your recipe please?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:04, Reply)

its actually a bunch of other sauces mixed together, i dont make it from scratch
I can still give it to you if you want, but it started out as mixing whatever's in the fridge with what's in the cabinet
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:08, Reply)

bbq sauce = ketchup with caramel added

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:09, Reply)

Does she have a cock?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:04, Reply)

Not yet

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:06, Reply)

Heh heh

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:06, Reply)

shes having her knees replaced

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:09, Reply)

With wheels?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:09, Reply)

I suggested laser cannons, but NO, the doctors knew best

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:10, Reply)

Cocks.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:11, Reply)

just the right height for you to gobble on

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:14, Reply)

i know, it was joke about pre-op transexuals...
either way i hope it all goes well for your "mom"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:10, Reply)

how do you know she's not post op

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:12, Reply)

Oh man I'm confused now, if i fancy your mum does that make me ghey?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:13, Reply)

only if you want to date "her"

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:16, Reply)

lols

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:16, Reply)

Altalt: I always ensure that the person I am cuddling is in the recovery position first.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:55, Reply)

I cuddle lying on my back while under the influence of opiates.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:56, Reply)

That sounds alright.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:59, Reply)

That's because you only cuddle unconsious children.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:57, Reply)

Medically trained nonce.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:58, Reply)

I can't deny that I have cuddled unconscious children before and I will do it again.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:59, Reply)

I did it just last night.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:01, Reply)

Me too!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:06, Reply)

You sick fucks

(PsychoChomp, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:09, Reply)

cuddling methods?
Open arms, close arms, squeeze - not exactly rocket science is it?
(quintsy, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 14:59, Reply)

Depends if they're struggling or not.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:00, Reply)

even then it's just a variation of the above
Open arms, run, close arms, squeeze, don't stop squeezing
(quintsy, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:01, Reply)

squeeze harder
execute figure four leg lock.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:01, Reply)

not really
But, is that what makes sex enjoyable? Spread legs put Willy in
Methods man, methods
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:03, Reply)

cuddling is shit and pointless
blow job or gtfo
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:11, Reply)

Ok, come here then

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:15, Reply)

I love how your beard tickles my perenium

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:16, Reply)

I like the cinema, yawn to hug.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:12, Reply)

That's just the kind of smooth move I've come to expect from you.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:16, Reply)

Scar on my shoulder from when my drink was spiked, and I fell over
One on my chin from falling onto a radiator, one on my wrist from falling down some stairs, one on my eyebrow from going face first into a table.

Alt: I don't.

AltAlt: Naked.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:17, Reply)

They always seem to spike the tenth pint of cider.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:17, Reply)

this^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:22, Reply)

If you say so.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:25, Reply)

falling down some stairs when Bella persuaded me to join her in cutting myself to protest against men's oppression of women
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:19, Reply)

Fuck no.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:19, Reply)

oh that's awful innit
Did you find out who did that to you?
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:26, Reply)

why spike your drink?
Or were you drink surfing and got unlucky?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:38, Reply)

I have a 14 inch vertical scar on my back from when I had three vertebrae fused together.
It's not a good look.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:19, Reply)

is that why you're so short?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:19, Reply)

piss.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:20, Reply)

I lost only 3cm of height, so it wasn't like I was 6' before the op.
I am 5'9''
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:20, Reply)

so the op, moved you from average to below average height?
bad times
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:23, Reply)

5'9'' is average.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:25, Reply)

So it is, you must all be shrinking

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:27, Reply)

You mean you used to be taller?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:20, Reply)

skee lols

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:25, Reply)

Loads of injuries,
Most from Rugby, and then 2 big ones from motorbike accidents. Although thanks to the wonders of modern surgery, very few nasty scars, except my knee.

My job is fairly active, which helps, then I go to the gym as often as I can, I like to swim as my old knee injury doesn't take impact well.

Altalt, the best cuddles are with the one person that you just seem to fold in to, in the most comfortable way, no matter where you are.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:20, Reply)

That's precisely how I imagine it would be cuddling you.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:22, Reply)

can I be little spoon?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:23, Reply)

I insist.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:24, Reply)

I think men should always be the little spoon. you don't get a mouthfull of girl hair.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:28, Reply)

Do you like to be wrapped up in her big strong arms all safe from the world, knowing that your loved after the closness you shared while she was "inside you"?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:32, Reply)

No, I just don't like a bunch of hair in my face.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:34, Reply)

no one does, but the man should never be the little spoon unless they are tiny, and a girl

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:35, Reply)

I've got a bit of a thing about really tall girls.
It's possibly related to some kind of Oedipus complex or summat.
Whatever, it's giving me a lazy lob-on.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:40, Reply)

Meh, I don't obey your rules.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:43, Reply)

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:44, Reply)

I have the long hair in my relationship.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:33, Reply)

Then big spoon you are.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:34, Reply)

Thanks Yoda!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:36, Reply)

I do love DJ Yoda, I like the way he samples things I have heard on telly into sort of songs.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:44, Reply)

cuddles are comfy for about a minute, then i wnat my space

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:24, Reply)

Luckily so does she.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:25, Reply)

And the flat.
And custody of your daughter.
And half your wages.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:25, Reply)

Don't forget pension & savings.
And blood.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:26, Reply)

is this a bitter divorcee sub thread

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:28, Reply)

Never been divorced and hopefully never will.
Seen what divorce has done to other people & it isn't good.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:29, Reply)

I've begun to assumn everyone here is either permanently single or divorced

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:30, Reply)

I'm really more of a playboy

( Kroney, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:31, Reply)

You can be found in a ditch, crumpled and covered in dry semen?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:33, Reply)

On occasion!

( Kroney, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:34, Reply)

Click

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:34, Reply)

I'm happily married.
Not sure if my wife is though.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:31, Reply)

^^ what short arse said ^^

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:32, Reply)

seems unlikely, soz

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:32, Reply)

nah she doesn't, 'hug me to slepp jesus' she says
and i'm all like 'Bitch...nigga needs his muthafuckin space'
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:26, Reply)

You're still sleeping on the sofa then?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:27, Reply)

IT'S REALLY VERY COMNFORTABLE

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:28, Reply)

you're hugging wrong.
I'm going to hug you, and you'll beg me not to let go.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:33, Reply)

swimming is the tits

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:28, Reply)

I'd like to go swimming in tits

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:28, Reply)

Like Scrooge McDuck of the porn world

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:30, Reply)

I want to go more, but if I try and swim hungover I'm sick everywhere.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:32, Reply)

if i try to swim drunk i can't walk for hours after

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:35, Reply)

because you've drowned?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:38, Reply)

WHY HAVE I NEVER BEEN SWIMMING DRINK?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:38, Reply)

because you can't walk after
Or maybe that's just me
It's loads of fun but that's the only time I've fallen down when drunk
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:49, Reply)

I'm gonna try it
My gym does have a bar in it.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:00, Reply)

YOU'RE GONNA GET SKINNED KNEES

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:04, Reply)

is it not all grass smoothies and soyshakes?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:15, Reply)

I had a pint of lager last week.
Although I got withering looks from all the lycra brigade.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:21, Reply)

I went swimming E'd off my lid having not been to bed for 36hrs.
I nearly drowned and lost lots of expensive possessions I was carrying.

I am a flidmo.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:17, Reply)

*Battered's bookmarked post*

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:19, Reply)

I just put CQ on 2.0 for shits and giggles.
It'll briefly confuse him.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:22, Reply)

Not when I tell him it won't.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:25, Reply)

i think it's mostly brought out the bitterness

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:27, Reply)

Hilarious.

( Kroney, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:29, Reply)

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(Bazongaloid, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:44, Reply)

Thanks for that scroll bar.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:46, Reply)

I couldn't help it
Dozer is just too funny for a normal sized screen.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:55, Reply)

I have a big scar on my shoulder that grew with me, allegedly from being cut during my cesaerean
but I bet it was a withered twin really
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:37, Reply)

Bad news eely, you are the withered twin

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:38, Reply)

Welcome to Mars

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:39, Reply)

Welcome Get your ass
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:41, Reply)

You could at least buy me a drink first

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:42, Reply)

shut up and show me your tits-es

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:43, Reply)

*unleashes triple-tits*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:44, Reply)

strike through "chins" lulz

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:12, Reply)

did your face heal from when your bicycle threw you off in disgust at your coke can Christmas tree and bland office carpet?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:49, Reply)

I still have a little depression in my eye brow
and three pigmented bits on my cheek like a shitty tattoo of a windturbine

and they were totally caused by me swerving to avoid a baby and I hit a man stealing a purse.
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:00, Reply)

I thought there was a badger involved.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:03, Reply)

if by badger you mean terrorist

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:03, Reply)

Scars?
One on forehead from an accident. One on tongue from biting through it. Surgical scars on front and back of neck from spinal surgery (2 level ACDF and 4 level posterior foraminotomy). Scar on inside of left forearm - knife wound. Various scars on both hands & arms of indeterminate origin.
A few broken bones but no scars from them.
Alt: It's difficult as impact is out of the question so any running/jogging type of exercise is banned.
Altalt: Depends how well the chloroform has worked.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:42, Reply)

I've got a couple of scars on my hand
one from a pen knife wielded by a crazed madman my little brother, and a couple from a glass I broke while washing up which gouged the fuck out of me.

Also one of my elbows is proper knackered as I damaged it and never got it sorted many years ago.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:44, Reply)

Bored of this now.
Can anyone translate this for me. "can I have a report specifically #service# for December 13 and Jan 13?"
Does that mean they want a report for 2 specific days, or between those two days...
(PsychoChomp, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:48, Reply)

In between.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:49, Reply)

That's what I thought,
what a prick.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:49, Reply)

Perhaps its a typo
and they mean December 12 (2012) and Jan 13 i.e. the last two months.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:57, Reply)

Those two sepcific days.
Obviously.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:55, Reply)

I like that we've not only covered both possibilities but uncovered a third

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:58, Reply)

I'd have said if it says specifically, he wants just those 2 days.
A range of dates would be worded differently. Unless of course said person is a cretin, unable to communicate properly.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 15:58, Reply)

they want a cup of tea and a biscuit

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:04, Reply)

Those 2 complete months

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:05, Reply)

n
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:06, Reply)

he wants a report on jan 2013 and a prediction for Dec 2013

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:06, Reply)

They want you to meet them by the bins at 7pm tonight so you can suck their cheesy bell-end.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:06, Reply)

They want a signed copy of David Essex's debut album on their desk by 5pm today or you're gonna get fired.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:08, Reply)

This is secret NHS code.
What it means is that they're inviting you to join a secret society where you get loads of really cool stuff. All you have to do is give your boss the special sign (get your cock out in front of them and start singing 'Walking in the Air' in a very loud falsetto voice) and you will be initiated.

You are really lucky, man! Let me know how you get on.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:13, Reply)

I am really pleased with this post.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:20, Reply)

I can't wait to hear how he gets on.
How did you find out about this secret NHS club?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:22, Reply)

Well I'm not about to tell the llikes of you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:27, Reply)

they wanna wanna ziggazig ahh

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:14, Reply)

I think Chompy needs to put all these suggestions in an email and fire it back to him
All of them. It's the only way to be sure.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:24, Reply)

No accidents. I've never even had a filling let alone surgery.
I have a big scar on one of my knuckles from when I punched a wasp through a closed window when I was asleep. I also have a scar under my chin from when my father found me covered in blood and trying to shave when I was about three. Neither of these could be deemed an accident though, I'd say, more 'monumental stupidity on my part'.

On other news, I have a preliminary meeting at 4pm next Weds with a mediator regarding my tedious child access woes. Wish me luck: things are (hopefully) starting to happen.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:06, Reply)

Good luck old chap, was chatting to lusty about this earlier and the situation as it stands sucks donkey cocks

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:07, Reply)

It sucks blue whale cocks.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:08, Reply)

NO YOURN MUM DOES!!!

(Bazongaloid, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:12, Reply)

She more a climb into a blue whales vagina sort of gal

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:13, Reply)

awesome,
These things are a long process, but stay sharp.

Why were you punching wasps in your sleep?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:09, Reply)

It was making an irritating noise I think.
Not really sure, for, you see, I was asleep.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:10, Reply)

through a Window?
I find it hard to believe you'd hear a wasp through a pane of glass. I reckon there is something shady going on here.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:15, Reply)

years of MD abuse have heightened his senses to super human levels

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:16, Reply)

The wasp was in my bedroom, dude.
I punched it, and the window it was buzzing against. I woke up to find I was pissing blood out of my hand in front of a broken window.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:19, Reply)

what happened to the wasp?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:25, Reply)

probably wasn't even real

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:25, Reply)

It's now chairman of ICI.
There's no fucking justice in this world I'm telling you man.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:27, Reply)

oh right, yeah, that would make a lot more sense.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:27, Reply)

Well done lovely
I hope it works out in your favour, pretty sad that you actually want to see your child and she's denying access, when there are so many other men that don't give a fuck
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:09, Reply)

She's not right in the head.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:10, Reply)

wELL SHE DID GO OUT WITH YOU!!!!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:13, Reply)

NO YOURN MUM DID!!!!

(Bazongaloid, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:19, Reply)

I used to have a patch under my chin where no beard would grow
I always suspected it was because as a child I tried to shave like desperate dan, on the spinning back wheel of an upturned bike
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:11, Reply)

I too have a chin scar
caused by me crashing my bike into a skip whilst "slightly" drunk
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:13, Reply)

good luck monts

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:18, Reply)

Thank you Wilfredo.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:20, Reply)

well, you may be a destitute junkie piece of shit
but you're a good dad, as much as you're able and you deserve a fair chance, as does your daughter deserve a chance at one reasonably stable influence in her life.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:24, Reply)

I have a big scar on my shoulder
where they put the titanium plate in when I cam off mu bicycle. that's about it really, which is amazing given how clumsy I am, that's the first time I've even broken a bone.

Alt: cycling, except I'v had a cold AIDS for the last few month and not been fit to ride safely. :(

AltAlt: it's all about the partner.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:17, Reply)

Altalt: Keep the engine running, use climbing rope and make sure you have a clear getaway.
Also, remember they're most likely going to be coming out of school around 3:30pm so that's the best time to strike.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:25, Reply)

and make sure you've got some bangin choons playing out the speakers, none of that greensleeves shit

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:27, Reply)

Too right.
Another tip: save money buy merely pretending to have puppies in the van. I spent a fucking fortune in my local pet shop before I worked that one out.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:34, Reply)