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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

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two windy pig threads in one day eh?
I've got a couple of hours free before I go back to work again, what should I do?
What do you do if you have a couple of hours spare?
I might play computer games, or read a magazine. Or take the dogs out.

Alt. Colleagues most irritating behaviour, one of my bar girls keeps inviting me to vaudeville raves, and insists on playing shit folk jangle music and insists I will really like it.

Altalt; Did cavy get laid or what?
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:21, 271 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

(◉‿◉)
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:23, Reply)

\(◉‿◉)/
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:23, Reply)
I'd have a sleep, I'm hanging.
Alt: She fit? Does she know about Windy Sow?
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:23, Reply)
vaudeville raves are probably full of the most awful pompus pricks ever.
Unfortunatly a lot of the women there will be hot and have made an extra special effort. You have to measure the pros and cons.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:23, Reply)
what are they?
they sound interesting
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:24, Reply)
Like larping but for attractive people who have sex.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:24, Reply)
Nearly viable

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:25, Reply)
Are you talking about your recently fertilised eggs?

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:33, Reply)

eggs face
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:33, Reply)
I'm happy with the lady I've got thanks.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:24, Reply)
Oh yeah, forgot you were tied down.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:25, Reply)
it appears to be Saturday night LARPing

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:29, Reply)
Elton John's ill advised tour of Mordor

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:36, Reply)
I always think I'd do something useful with spare time
in reality I spend it here. Lame.

altalt: \(◉‿◉)/
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:25, Reply)
If she insists on playing Mumford and Sons you've got grounds to sack her.
Tell her to play some proper 'murder, rape and drunkeness' folk music or GTFO.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:25, Reply)
I'm agreeing with AB here.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:32, Reply)
Mumford & Sons are cunts.
And pricks.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:34, Reply)
i rather like their music, it's foot stomping

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:35, Reply)
I've never heard it
TRUFAX
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:35, Reply)
Imagine if you can, Coldplay with a banjo.
They're generally second on the list of 'bands I like' made by people who don't actually like music very much.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:40, Reply)
see also
Muse
U2
Arcade Fire
Pendulum
Oasis
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:41, Reply)
I've seen all of those bands.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:45, Reply)
The prosecution rests m'lud.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:47, Reply)
Indeed.
Every single band I listed there have either ripped off another band's sound wholesale, or have contemporaries far far better at what they do.

Sales do not equal quality.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:49, Reply)
They're a better judge of quality than anything else.
The subjective opinion of many millions of people is more reliable than the subjective opinion of one, or a few.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:51, Reply)
Nope.
Millions of people can quite conclusively be wrong.

Are you feasibly trying to make the case that, say, the Mr Blobby song, or Wet Wet Wet's version of Love is All Around are of the highest quality? Because they clearly aren't.

The phrase 'lowest common denominator' springs to mind here.

EDIT: I am in no way implying that obscurity equals quality either, that would be silly. Some obscure stuff is great, lots is obscure for a reason.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:53, Reply)
Yes, just because I don't agree with it doesn't make it less valid.
You're putting your opinion above not only another person but over thousands or tens of thousands of people.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:04, Reply)
We all do that to a certain extent though.
And I still can't understand how one can equate mass popularity with quality- the two are hardly linked at all. In fact, dumbed down stuff sells in vast amounts, just look at ITV's output. Are you making the case for X Factor over The Thick of it?
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:06, Reply)
I may give them a miss then

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:41, Reply)
They really shouldn't be classified as folk either.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:42, Reply)
that's your real problem with them, isn't it?

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:43, Reply)
No, it's that they are shit.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:44, Reply)
To be fair, neither should your face.
Man, I'm listening to some retro shit today. Layo & Bushwacka!, now Stuart Staples. Next up: Sabres of Paradise.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:44, Reply)
they got a best album Grammy.
People seem to think they are good.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:43, Reply)
winning awards is no guarantee of quality.
M People and Gomez have both won the Mercury Prize.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:44, Reply)
The thing about 'people' is that they're, on the whole, cunts.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:46, Reply)
Tasteless cunts at that.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:47, Reply)
WTF is a 'Vaudeville Rave'?
None of my current colleagues is annoying. In my last job there was an Aspergic who was the single most annoying man EVER. Also, everyone there used to annoy me because it was expected to liberally use 'myself', 'yourself', 'ourselves' etc, and when I mentioned that it was wrong and made us sound unprofessional and amateurish it didn't go down too well.

None of that at my current place. I'm in charge of communications though so there are extremely high standards of copy.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:26, Reply)
WTF is a 'Vaudeville Rave'?
None of my current colleagues is annoying. In my last job there was an Aspergic who was the single most annoying man EVER. Also, everyone there used to annoy me because it was expected to liberally use 'myself', 'yourself', 'ourselves' etc, and when I mentioned that it was wrong and made us sound unprofessional and amateurish it didn't go down too well.

None of that at my current place. I'm in charge of communications though so there are extremely high standards of
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:28, Reply)
A 'Vaudeville Rave' sounds like a 50's American car

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:31, Reply)
I'm going to take this reply as recognition of my very witty post.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:34, Reply)
OK

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:34, Reply)
Nakers got his name back have you checked
to see if yours is yet

I liked the post
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:36, Reply)
Still "in use"

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:37, Reply)
Just like YM

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:51, Reply)
terrible copyright infringement here.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:34, Reply)
Ahem
None of my current colleagues are annoying.

Extremely high standards of copy indeed.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:44, Reply)
B3ta ain't business, soz.
I got asked to freelance last week- I'd dazzled someone with my reasoning for 'referendums' being correct as the plural.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:47, Reply)

\m/(◉‿◉)\m/
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:27, Reply)
This version is better

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:30, Reply)
Agreed

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:31, Reply)
I make everything seem better
like pints 3-5
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:34, Reply)
this is great

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:35, Reply)
why don't I know it when I've had 5 pints though!

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:36, Reply)
I know not
Like why did I insist on doing the whole bottle of red in before going to bed?
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:37, Reply)
Because it's bad form not to finish a bottle once it's opened.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:42, Reply)
It goes off quick

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:44, Reply)
to drown out the shame

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:44, Reply)
I need more than that

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:44, Reply)
Because you can't count that high.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:37, Reply)
He keeps his other hand on the pint

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:38, Reply)
Have a pint and a wank
I read or watch downloaded TV

Alt:
Drinking all the coffee

AltAlt:
A gentleman never tells
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:30, Reply)

t sm + his fingers after going round to see Al's wife for "tea"
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:34, Reply)
hahahahaha!
A sperm whale is aptly named
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:35, Reply)
your confidentiality is appreciated
and I, in return, will keep your subscription a secret
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:36, Reply)
Keep sending those used pants

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:36, Reply)
I've just seen some pictures of a girl my friend is taking out on Valentines day.
She's into Cosplay and is possibly persian, possibly a transvestite.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:40, Reply)
WTF is cosplay?

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:41, Reply)
have you even
been on the internet?
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:42, Reply)
Dress up as pricks and go to conventions.
Manga/computer games/sci fi shows that sort of thing.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:42, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cosplay
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:42, Reply)
Oh my shitty fucking Christ on a bike with stabilisers and balloons tied to the handlebars.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:02, Reply)
like Larping, but conventions instead of parks.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:49, Reply)
You could nip into Havant and I'll buy you a cuppa

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:41, Reply)
it's a longer round trip than I have break. otherwise this is the best suggestion yet.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:45, Reply)
Pah
It's a longer round trip than I have break. otherwise this is the best suggestion yet, SCHMIit's a longer round trip than I have break. otherwise this is the best suggestion yet.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:45, Reply)
I'm fairly confident this makes sense

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:47, Reply)
You tell him, Twoey.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:48, Reply)
A joint and a wank, maybe a sleep if there is time.
Alt: They just won't leave me alone.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:41, Reply)
I play computer games, watch a bit of telly (I'm working my way through Andromeda at the moment which is shit but entertaining)
Or read books, or play the piano, or make ART

You should go for a lovely wank. Both fists.

Alt: My colleagues do things like aggresively wear shit beards and cowboy hats indoors.

Altalt: no-one on here has ever got laid, don't be ridiculous

Altaltalt: (◉‿◉)
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:42, Reply)
Cowboy hats?
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:43, Reply)
I call them the 'cowboy cunts'
regard my wit
regard it
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:44, Reply)
*regards*

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:47, Reply)
Yee look at me getting my regard on

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:49, Reply)
Regardez.
That's French. Bitches be loving that merde.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:50, Reply)
les salopes ont tout dans ma merde, n'est pas?

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:55, Reply)

oooooooooooooooooooooo +w that's what I call stylish
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:44, Reply)
Volume 2

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:44, Reply)
Incorrect
I've had sex twice. That's right....TWICE!
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:43, Reply)
No you haven't
It's ok, we're all virgins here
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:44, Reply)
Well, I say sex
I wanked into her minge while she read Take A Break.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:45, Reply)
Again, no you didn't
Look it's alright man, you don't have to lie here, we're a virgin support group, take it easy, let the pain out
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:45, Reply)
I wanked while thinking about a picture of a minge I saw once
:(
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:46, Reply)
THAT'S MORE LIKE IT MY SON

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:46, Reply)
at least she had something to
send in to the magazine for her £20
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:46, Reply)
Well, you say wanked.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:47, Reply)

n l
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:48, Reply)
is this really a greek tragedy reference?

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:50, Reply)
Not quite
I was implying that Mrs Hats had a large mancave
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:55, Reply)
It's nothing compared to her milge

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:00, Reply)
I've never wanked into a milge in my life
and you can't prove otherwise
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:55, Reply)
You really are missing out

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:56, Reply)
You've got to admit, it is tempting though

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:56, Reply)
milge, the female bilge?
I.E the bottom part with the waste water and slops in that needs regularly pumping out?
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:59, Reply)
Ray, a drop of golden sun?

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:00, Reply)
LOL

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:00, Reply)
officelol

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:02, Reply)
10/10

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:09, Reply)
Oh boy, is it ever

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:59, Reply)
Stay strong, TH
For the sake of the kids, if nothing else.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:00, Reply)
One for each hat

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:44, Reply)
How do you think I won them?

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:47, Reply)
I have no hat
:o(
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:48, Reply)
Soggy biscuit game?
SUPERMATCH GAME!
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:48, Reply)
Which _____ isn't going into ______?

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:49, Reply)
penis/that minge

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:50, Reply)
EVERYONES!

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:51, Reply)
Supermatch game, supermatch game, supermatch game. Tss, tss, tss. SUPERMATCH GAME!

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:21, Reply)

CH T
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:12, Reply)
That said I don't reckon Supermatt has enough friends to play that game.
Unless it's Soggy Biscuit Solitaire I suppose.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:14, Reply)
Suppose? I wrote it, mate.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:22, Reply)
I like to think he pulls by going into a room and shouting
"I'M WEARING MY SEX HAT. WHO WANTS ME?!"
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:47, Reply)
Here he is, ready for sexing
SEX ME MY HAT IS FULL OF SEX JUICE
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:48, Reply)
DEFCON BONGLE IN NEWCASTLE

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:48, Reply)
NEEDS MOAR NONCING!

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:49, Reply)
The youngest in our office is 20
*fucks plant*
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:50, Reply)
Same with my work ties.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:51, Reply)
You don't have a work tie under twenty years old?
You ought to do something about that, my friend.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:57, Reply)
The youngest one I have is your age but not as irritating or gullible.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:12, Reply)
Or garlicky.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:14, Reply)
No wonder Led Zep never reformed. That poor man.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:09, Reply)
A whole lotta cow

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:10, Reply)
He'll be ok
He's just Dazed And Confused
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:15, Reply)
I heard Sporto gave 'no quarter' in the bedroom.
Poor Robert ended up with a 'custard pie' ETC ETC
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:18, Reply)
pffft

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:18, Reply)
Good Times



Bad times
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:21, Reply)
He had straight hair when I started on him

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:19, Reply)
I should use that on Mrs Hats
"Oh darling....I'm wearing my sex hat!"
*waggles eyebrows*
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:48, Reply)
I need me a sexing hat

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:49, Reply)
SEX HAT, BEBBEH!!

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:52, Reply)
*sees faded sign*

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:54, Reply)
*pages swipe*

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 15:55, Reply)
*wipes page*

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:10, Reply)
*buffs dickson*

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:10, Reply)
WASN'T THIS GOOD?

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:11, Reply)
Oh so good.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:11, Reply)
Wasn't it fine?

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:14, Reply)
The best I've ever had.
/Becky Blues Explosion!
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:15, Reply)

Blues aubergine
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:16, Reply)
Floppy Aubergine Explosion!
I have Orange on my desk here actually, I went digging through all my teenage stuff from the 90s.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:17, Reply)
Crusty wank socks?

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:18, Reply)
He only likes their early stuff.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:19, Reply)
alright Monts?
Daniel Avery posted this on his facebook feed this week, your pals Richard Fearless and Tim Holmes talking about The Contino Sessions:

youtu.be/TsUN5js3Lcw

Your mate Mat might be in there somewhere, I haven't watched it all yet.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:22, Reply)
Last time I saw Fearless he had a preposterous moustache.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:23, Reply)
I think it's gone now.
The Contino Sessions was patchy but that Bobby Gillespie track on it is fucking ace.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:26, Reply)
Bobby Gillespie is a wanker

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:34, Reply)
I don't doubt that.
But Primal Scream are (largely) great. Fantastic live band, patchy records.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:35, Reply)
Nah
CDs and stuff by Foetus, Sisters of Mercy, Massive Attack, Young Gods, Death in Vegas, Coil, shit like that.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:20, Reply)
The Levellers?

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:20, Reply)
click

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:21, Reply)
It's a beautiful daaaa-aaa-aay.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:23, Reply)
Madness
*shakes head*
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:15, Reply)
Oh now that's one step beyond, Lokesy.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:16, Reply)
Ah, listen to you!
It must be love.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:19, Reply)
You wouldn't dare use that cheek round our house.
You're an embarrassment mate.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:22, Reply)
Yeah well, your place isn't exactly a house of fun is it.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:25, Reply)
SOMETHING SOMETHING BAGGY TROUSERS!!!!!!!!!

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:26, Reply)
You're an embarrassment
edit: ironolols. fucksocks
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:23, Reply)
And you were doing so well, too.
BACK IN THE BREAD BIN, BOY.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:25, Reply)
I'll just wait for the ghost train, thanks.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:27, Reply)
He should take a night boat to Cairo for that.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:27, Reply)
A couple of years ago Madness did a gig at York racecourse.
I could hear it in my garden. It was shit.

THE END.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:29, Reply)
I was having a pint or 9 with Monty a couple of years ago in Spitalfields and Suggs was doing a live appearance in the market.
I don't know how we managed to stop each other from going over the road and punching him. Possibly because it would have meant stopping drinking for 10 minutes.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:31, Reply)
Madness are fucking shit.
I don't care if they're a 'great singles band', they are fucking shit.

THE END.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:32, Reply)
I agree.
Suggs's mum is a good laugh. Met her a couple of times in the Colony Rooms (forevainourhartz)
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:34, Reply)
That was indeed the reason.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:33, Reply)
That used to be such a great pub, shame all the Hoxton cunts ruined it.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:35, Reply)
I went to a festival and Madness was on
Alright, middle of the day, bit drunk, why not listen to them

Then later that night the headline act was coming on

This will be good

OH NO they cancelled

So we got treated to...another Madness gig, identical to the first one.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:34, Reply)
Ha ha. You poor fucker.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:36, Reply)
Weren't best pleased with that
I was alright listening to them once, sunny day, drunk, fuck it, not my normal stuff but alright.

TWICE? FUCK OFF
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:37, Reply)
Encore
You know the score
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:36, Reply)
SPACIOUS

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:36, Reply)
well spacious, yeah?

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:37, Reply)
Right side
Massives
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:38, Reply)
Bad luck.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:36, Reply)
*accepts that you won't be mine*

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:16, Reply)
*puts head away and zips up*

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:18, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1862959
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:10, Reply)
Curse your speedy hooves.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:11, Reply)
hahaha!

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:12, Reply)
oh that is fucking superb

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:12, Reply)
First Robert, now Jimmy
That band are getting the full treatment today.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:11, Reply)
You need to turn over a new Page.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:17, Reply)
Have you heard that annoying cunt on Radio 2?
I've never hit a woman, but where's she's concerned there may be a first time.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:24, Reply)
Can you narrow it down?

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:24, Reply)
He has to be talking about Whiley.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:25, Reply)
NO WHILEY CHAT

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:32, Reply)
oh come on that was good. No?

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:36, Reply)
I liked it
Not enough to click though, sorry
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:38, Reply)
No.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:39, Reply)
Elaine Paige.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:26, Reply)
You might be the only person posting here
who doesn't do so because they're at work and it bores the shit out of them
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:37, Reply)
I'm posting from the pub.
Just for a change.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:39, Reply)
I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that this website constitutes your entire social life

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:41, Reply)
Nope. mrs B has taken micro B for a 'play date', so stopped off for a quick pint on my way home from work, before cooking, helping with micro Battered etc.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:42, Reply)
Fair enough
but none of the above contradicts my suggestion. I doubt anyone would claim that helping out around the house can be described as a social life.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:46, Reply)
I have the day off, I'm at home and I'm poncing about on here.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:48, Reply)
I tend not to do much midweek. Too knackered from being woken up at 5ish every morning.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:49, Reply)
Well I think this was the best day on here in fucking ages.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:50, Reply)
what have been your personal highlights?

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:52, Reply)
Grey ones.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:52, Reply)
You're about as funny as Ringofyre.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:53, Reply)
Low blow Dozer. Low blow.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:53, Reply)
Sorry Battered, you're right, that was below the belt.
You're marginally funnier than Ringofyre, but less funny than Vagabond's 'joke' about his dog.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:54, Reply)
That was like an extended autistic episode
I swear he just kept typing in the hope that the volume would magically make it funny
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:57, Reply)
Who? Vaggers or Ringers?

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:57, Reply)
Vaga
I have little to no knowledge of Ringofyre
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:59, Reply)
Vaggers is 100% convinced of two things:
1- he's a witty and talented storyteller with a wealth of great stories;
2- he's funny.

Neither of these claims stand up to scrutiny. His 'dog' thing was excruciating.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:01, Reply)
I don't remember the dog thing. Linky?

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:04, Reply)
If search worked then maybe.
Short version: he kept going on about an imaginary pet dog, and thought it was genuinely hilarious. The hilarity was as fictional as the dog.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:05, Reply)

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 16:57, Reply)
I'm cooking pork belly this evening. With mash and kale.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:07, Reply)
CSB

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:09, Reply)
I thought you'd appreciate knowing.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:11, Reply)
You thought wrong.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:13, Reply)
Sausage and bean casserole chez Montezuma

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:20, Reply)
as in baked beans with sausages in?

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:22, Reply)
More like a cassoulet you vegetable-munching oaf.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:25, Reply)
I love 'oaf' as an insult.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:26, Reply)
My father favours 'imbecile' or 'cretin' but I like the more medieval approach.
cf 'halfwit' or 'lackwit'
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:36, Reply)
Zounds!
Methinks thou art but a lackwit and a prick!
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:37, Reply)
Gadzooks, mistress Meaker.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:37, Reply)
Found a new butcher in Kensal Rise. Their sausages are SUPERB.
I will bring you some the next time I see you.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:22, Reply)
Will swap for chilli paste
Having found this ridiculously cheap chilli shop this year I shall be perfecting a range of fiery condiments for all who want them.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:24, Reply)
An excellent exchange.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:25, Reply)
I also want to get back into making mustards now I have a food processor.
Fox's Spices do excellent kits. Or used to, anyway...
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:29, Reply)
The internet is not helping me find them :o(

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:31, Reply)
what was that video I was going to link you to?
EDIT: It was this one:

www.cocaineblunts.com/blunts/?tag=4-ever-fresh
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:32, Reply)
No good to me in the office, pal.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:37, Reply)
I thought you were at home, flower.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:37, Reply)
8am-6pm is my usual working day

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:38, Reply)
*updates spreadsheet*

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:40, Reply)
I can't wait to get my tandoor.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:35, Reply)
I can't wait for that either.
*rubs hands together*
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:37, Reply)
There will be a secret b4sh.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:45, Reply)
CAN I COME? CAN I?!

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:46, Reply)
As long as you agree to eat some tandoori horse

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:47, Reply)
NO.
Fuck off.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:48, Reply)
:'(

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:49, Reply)
You know what I had a massive yearning for tandoori chicken a couple of weeks ago:
I could not find tandoori paste in any shop inc two large supermarkets. I'm sure it's online but I wanted it THERE AND THEN and nothing. Fucking weird. I only wanted the Patak's one.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:39, Reply)
These guys are ace:
spicebox.co.uk/
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:40, Reply)
Oh ta

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:42, Reply)
No problem
The curry kits are great. They have a shop in York and one in Surrey somewhere but do mail order.
(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:43, Reply)
I had a curry on saturday, fucking loved it, one of those rogan ones.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:50, Reply)
You're joshing.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:51, Reply)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:51, Reply)
Kill yourself.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:52, Reply)
Up the street, not across the road.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:53, Reply)
korman man.

(, Wed 13 Feb 2013, 17:54, Reply)

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