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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Well that thread went well
Back to the topic of Cavy being dumped.

What are the best times being single, care free, and unattached
OR BEING IN A MARRAGE FOR 15 YEARS BUT THE RELATIONSHIP IS ONGOING FOR 21 YEARS OHHHHH FUCK I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIKE BEING SINGLE HOW CAN I CLAIM BACK ALL THAT TIME?……….
Or being married?
Alt: Here are some supposed reasons to be all Kronley this Valentines.
metro.co.uk/2013/02/14/valentines-day-10-reasons-its-ok-that-youre-single-and-alone-3445031/

Why does Dorner look like a Fat LL Cool J?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-21452105
Lookalikes who looks like who?
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:27, 213 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
tl:dr
So, Billy Davies, eh?
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:28, Reply)
I didn't think he would come back TBH

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:29, Reply)
I was saying before Christmas to a fellow Red, imagine what Davies could do with the new money
Could go either way of course, he might just argue himself into the sack in record time.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:32, Reply)
NO FOOTBALL CHAT

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:32, Reply)
Your name is an anagram of "Nuke Bam Margera"
How do you confuse a retard...?
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:33, Reply)
Badmons is the new enforcer on here
Best be good
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:35, Reply)
Badmons for Mod!

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:36, Reply)

M G
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:36, Reply)

-_-
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:40, Reply)
I can't copy and paste this :(
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1863954


Totally stole this of Gonz
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:44, Reply)
which is an anagram of "Anagram Bum Reek"

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:05, Reply)

metro.co.uk/2011/09/20/man-claims-140-year-old-photo-proves-nicolas-cage-is-a-vampire-158465/
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:29, Reply)
Jeepers!

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:12, Reply)
Spooky Eh?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:12, Reply)
SP

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:12, Reply)

www.keanuisimmortal.com/
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:13, Reply)
X2 saving threads

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:14, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/caught/post747067
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:30, Reply)
Nice
Got Kleenex?
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:32, Reply)
blocked by the firewall, it must be good

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:32, Reply)

'Caught
wanking by my ex to shemale movie, she was a pain that day had a pain and went to bed with a headache.

SHE SAID I WAS GAY, and became my ex'
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:34, Reply)
why do these people post this shit!

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:35, Reply)
HAHAHAHAHAH
what a thing to post
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:34, Reply)
What a place to post it
That's just letting yourself in for abuse. If he'd posted it on mumsnet he'd probably have got sympathy
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:35, Reply)
Possibly the OP is an elaborate comedy creation though...
b3ta.com/questions/caught/post749258
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:36, Reply)
Scrunt hangs out on /links

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:39, Reply)
Where's my trolling hat gone?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:40, Reply)
I assume it's on your head
Where you keep it

For trolling
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:41, Reply)

hat Crown
Well done
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:41, Reply)
This really happened.
b3ta.com/questions/cringe/post317424
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:42, Reply)
It's on the internet
IT MUST BE TRUE!!!!
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:44, Reply)
Why are you sceptical?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:17, Reply)
This rather glib description doesn't ring true me
'he married his first cousin....... two kids were downs syndrome and the normal looking ones were fucked up anyway'
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:22, Reply)
But they're IRISH.
They ALL look like they've got Downs. They are the second ugliest race in Europe.

The only thing missing from the description is a pig under each arm.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:25, Reply)
For Valentines day my office building has a free chocolate fountain in the lobby
mostly fat blokes taking advantage of it, to be honest.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:44, Reply)
That chocolate is FULL of vegetable oil to keep it liquid

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:46, Reply)

vegetable oil to keep it liquid

horsemeat
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:47, Reply)
NOM

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:34, Reply)
you post looks like a spam email

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:46, Reply)
Thanks gluey
Puffs out chest
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:58, Reply)
Well if I had no legs I'd shoot my girlfriend too

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:50, Reply)
maybe you should shoot your wife?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:52, Reply)
in the minge

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:53, Reply)
That's how we do it in Nigeria

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:53, Reply)
haha

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:54, Reply)
i worked out why I couldn't find it!
I WAS LOOKING IN THE WRONG FILE; HOUR WASTED -LOLZZZZZZZ
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 12:59, Reply)
WTBD

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:02, Reply)
Lol

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:09, Reply)
no no no this can't be right
I can't imagine anyone called Badmons Dukaz having to look for files
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:33, Reply)
Files look for him.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:37, Reply)
Folders wanna be like him

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:41, Reply)
I heard he was a massive bent spastic.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:41, Reply)

If you are still verbally capable of telling Badmons Dukaz that he is hurting you, then trust me, he isn't.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:43, Reply)
He’s so tough he has an imaginary bird eating spider
With a taste for parrots
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:46, Reply)

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Badmons says its horsemeat. Then it's fucking horsemeat.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:47, Reply)
Badmons Dukaz make's his own pretzels
Out of bent spastics
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:53, Reply)
Is it me or
does "Bad mons dukaz" sound like a veneral disease of some kind?
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:47, Reply)

The state of California plans to reduce violent crime by changing the method of capital punishment from lethal injection to Badmons Dukaz.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:51, Reply)
*googles Chuck Norris jokes*

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:59, Reply)
True story.
The city of London once named a street after Badmons Dukaz in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Badmons Dukaz and lives.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:39, Reply)
P!nk looks like Eddie Izzard about 15 years ago
Apart from that, nothing. No one looks like anyone else, and I won't hear any different.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:24, Reply)
RACIST

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:31, Reply)
I am what I am

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:33, Reply)
I am my own special creation

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:34, Reply)
So come take a look

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:36, Reply)
Give me the hook

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:38, Reply)
you look like a man I once knew in Kansas. He was beautiful too.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:45, Reply)
*tickles privates*

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:46, Reply)
whose this is badmons dukaz character then?
Almonds duchess is what my phone tried to change it to.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:48, Reply)
He’s like Chuck Norris’s bodyguard
Fuckin NAILS
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:50, Reply)
When Badmons needs backup, he looks in the mirror.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:52, Reply)
I heard that Badmons once punched someone so hard
that they went back in time!
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:53, Reply)

Mission Impossible is just another way of saying Mission Without Badmons.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:54, Reply)
North Korea employs Badmons to break wind
So it looks like they are testing nuclear weapons
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:56, Reply)
Almonds Duchess?
My friend once called me an Ebony Balloon via SMS. I asked him what it meant and he said his autocorrect suggested it, so he kept it. He couldn't remember what it was supposed to say.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:50, Reply)
I'm gonna burn you out!

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:35, Reply)
Rick Astley's lesser knoZZZzzzzzzzzzzz

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:36, Reply)
Mama said knock you out!

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:37, Reply)
The LL Cool J Ref. wasn't lost on you then

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:38, Reply)
No, sir.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:40, Reply)
Indeed this

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:38, Reply)
The voices in Ike Turner's head
Brought to you by SYFTS.com
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:39, Reply)

Ike Turner's head. You'd go there for the day but you wouldn't want to live there.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:42, Reply)
Fucking Nutbush that guy

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:49, Reply)
Colleague: "I never knew the Ferris wheel was named after George Ferris, who invented them"
Me (vaguely recollecting something said about Mr Ferris on b3ta): "Has he died or something?"
Colleague: "No, it's his 154th birthday today"
Me: "So he has died then"
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:37, Reply)
You chose Norwich
Live with it
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:48, Reply)
Cavy got dumped?
That was quick

Bad times
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:39, Reply)
Do keep up Sporto

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:42, Reply)
Sorry, had w*rk to do
I thought she was getting filled as often as Tesco's sweet counter
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:48, Reply)
It's you people doing work that are killing this place.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:51, Reply)
Sorry sir
Won't do it again sir
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:53, Reply)
How many pints of Peroni have you managed to drink while doing this 'work', anyway?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:54, Reply)
0
*cries*
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:55, Reply)
This is not good enough, Mr Cow.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:55, Reply)
I fucking know that!
Trying to get sorted for Operation Sportsmove tomorrow
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:57, Reply)
You think AA has had his fingers in there for a rummage?
Then strolled out with his pants bulging?
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:55, Reply)
Cavy or Tesco?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:56, Reply)
his pants wouldn't have been bulging
but sodden if it were the former
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:57, Reply)
MOIST

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 13:58, Reply)
It's unfair to mock those afflicted with a short fuse.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:01, Reply)
hahaha!

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:02, Reply)
just pass 'em man sized tissues

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:15, Reply)
One of the classic Friends quotes
"IT DOESN'T HAPPEN TO EVERYONE, AND IT *IS* A BIG DEAL! !"
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:18, Reply)
Speaking of Bulger*
A picture of Jon Venables as an adult is doing the rounds on Twitter at the moment.

*tenuous
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:16, Reply)
well, that's not good is it.
Link?
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:21, Reply)
I've removed it on the advice of AW.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:29, Reply)
really?
Why?
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:34, Reply)
I might get stepped or banned
Apparently the image is illegal.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:36, Reply)

I thought he looked like quite a nice young man.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:38, Reply)
Kind to animals.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:42, Reply)
Classy response by FHM to the Oscar Pestorious thing:
"FHM was shocked and saddened to learn of the tragic passing of FHM cover girl Reeva Steenkamp. Our thoughts go out to her family and friends during this difficult and painful time. FHM knew Reeva as a beautiful, intelligent and warm-hearted woman who was a joy to work with and everyone at FHM mourns her untimely passing. May she rest in peace. Have I mentioned the name FHM enough yet?"
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:04, Reply)
This week's QOTW should be right up your street.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:07, Reply)
Ha ha

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:10, Reply)
Ha.
I thought it was still on 'The Naughty Step' and didn't understand that at all.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:15, Reply)
NNNNEEEEYYYOOOOOOWWWW!!!!
I'm a fucking airplane!
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:22, Reply)
are you a bit bored sat about in your house?
Or wanking?
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:23, Reply)
Just easily distracted, young Findus

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:24, Reply)
Thinking about having a party to celebrate yet another journey around the sun
You should come...it'll be BEEZER!
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:30, Reply)
I'd fucking love that. I can bring Boyce?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:35, Reply)
Oh man
Well it's my party, so technically I've got to be the best looking one there. Can you two dress down a bit or something?
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:38, Reply)
totes. anything for you hat hat.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:39, Reply)
Ok, Shirley.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:24, Reply)
Do you like movies about gladiators?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:25, Reply)
I've never been an aeroplane
:(
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:28, Reply)
Seriously?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:29, Reply)
Yeah
I've been a boat a few times, and also a train, but never an aeroplane
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:30, Reply)
How old are you?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:31, Reply)
31

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:31, Reply)
You'd be a beautiful aeroplane
You soar like mighty Hercules
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:30, Reply)
Your words lift me higher than any metal wings could

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:30, Reply)
LOL

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:39, Reply)
i thought today was going to be a good day on here
but it seems to be deader than a dead thing on dead drugs
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:31, Reply)


(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:32, Reply)
what the fuck has it got up its nose?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:48, Reply)
Sadness

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:48, Reply)
looks like 2 pins to me
i'd be fucking unhappy if i had two giant pins stuck up my schnozz
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:50, Reply)
You're the worst punk

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:50, Reply)
this is actually true
i don't think punks are supposed to spend hours straightening their rainbow hair
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:51, Reply)
Woah however you keep your ladygarden is your business
I don't need to know this shit
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:56, Reply)
shitlolz

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:57, Reply)
lies
on the internet
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:06, Reply)
Look sparklefanny, I'm not the one telling the internet about my hours spent every evening with my ceramic straighteners, trying to wrestle Little Rach into some semblance of presentability.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:09, Reply)
sometimes i use rollers

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:15, Reply)
You fancy tart

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:22, Reply)
jesus christ theoban, that picture of john venables is illegal you know
haven't you been reading the thread?
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:04, Reply)
Ain't no rules where we're going, baby

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:10, Reply)
I had a couple of successful ish threads yesterday, I could have a go again today maybe.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:36, Reply)
You could try, oh I don't know
responding to your bloody texts.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:46, Reply)
i did!

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:50, Reply)
you never text me any more

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:00, Reply)
I never texted you in the first place.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:01, Reply)
it's another bash he wasn't invited to

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:05, Reply)
Here we go again...
b3ta.com/questions/utterlydrunk/post1864131
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:33, Reply)
Wow, he could've been killed
Missed opportunity
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:40, Reply)
He's welcome to try again.
I'll even offer the use of my Volvo.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:41, Reply)

Volvo snowplough
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:43, Reply)
Wow, I believe every word of that story.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:43, Reply)
I think we all do.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:44, Reply)
I've run over a car in much the same fashion, except it was a focus and I fell on my arse when i "landed"

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:44, Reply)
to embellish the story it was 7am after an all nighter 21st where I had been partying with Richard Branson
tru fax
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:47, Reply)
locust more like

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:52, Reply)
is that the best you can manage today?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:52, Reply)

to any
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:53, Reply)
QOTW will be epic this week

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:39, Reply)
got my deposit back!

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:42, Reply)
That was quick.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:42, Reply)
Chompy is a name and bit of a big deal around Milton Keynes
The 'burbs quake when he walks down the street
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:44, Reply)
Crying always helps

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:44, Reply)
+ me get erect

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:44, Reply)
Well played.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:45, Reply)
I really should be careful what I post.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:46, Reply)
Yes.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:48, Reply)
Perhaps I should DMAAKM.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:01, Reply)
Yes.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:03, Reply)
He nicked her tv and sold it down at cash converters

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:45, Reply)
Said, I've checked all deposit protection schemes and they have no record of my registration.
She sent a very arsey text saying. "We have a block policy so it's not individually named, but our accounts deptment has already sent your deposit to you so you'll get that. I will send you an invoice for the carpet retroactivley and withdraw the reference you needed for your new property"
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:46, Reply)
I'm guessing she's bullshitting me.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:47, Reply)
what did you do to the carpet?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:48, Reply)
He took the words 'shag pile' literally.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:49, Reply)
Don't be so rude about his girlfriend

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:50, Reply)
Took a big shit in the middle of it, then has the nerve to kick off
Kids these days eh?
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:50, Reply)
Small black stain under the bed.
We paid for She want's the whole room replaced, we already paid for it to be pro cleaned so I said no.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:00, Reply)
did you shit the bed after a guiness session?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:02, Reply)
No it was where Gary Coleman slept

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:04, Reply)
she's removing the reference?
And what sort of idiot thinks you'll pay a bill for a carpet after the fact?
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:53, Reply)
Especially one I've repeatedly said isn't necessary.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:57, Reply)
Chompy are you not already moved into the new gaff?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:58, Reply)
Yep, so reference thing is pointless.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:00, Reply)
Send her some dog bots
As an apology for fucking up her carpet
It’s the right thing to do
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:01, Reply)
bot dogs, surely?
unless you're suggesting he hacks off the hind quarters and posts those?
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:04, Reply)
Yes of course bot dogs
and don't call me Shirly
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:05, Reply)
go back, break in, shit on all the carpets. win.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:11, Reply)
scrut around like a dog with worms

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:13, Reply)
did you use threatening legal terms?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:44, Reply)
He threatened to send round Badmons

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:52, Reply)
*crushes dice in one hand*

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:52, Reply)
+ *makes diamond*

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:54, Reply)

in one hand with teenage skank's mimsy
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 14:54, Reply)
Would someone please start a new thread?

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:12, Reply)
I have no questions to ask.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:14, Reply)
ask what question you would ask if battered forced you to start a new thread but you had no questions to ask

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:15, Reply)
i like this
i will add this
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:17, Reply)
You do it

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:14, Reply)
Hahaha
Badmons Dukaz told you
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:16, Reply)
done!

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:16, Reply)
Nice one chunky.

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:18, Reply)
you're welcome shorty!

(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:22, Reply)

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