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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Popular board member Pyschochomp has put Racelswipe on ignorebecause he owes her money and she wants to see pictures of his cock to compensate her.
Tell me a story about a time someone owed you something, or a time you owed something to someone.
Alt (◉~◉)
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:46, 139 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
By implication you are admiting that she wants pictures of your cock.(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:49, Reply)
TWO PEOPLE owe me for last week's pizzaIF THEY KEEP THIS UP I'm going to not mention it and just grumble internally and stay quiet
That'll show them
Alt: vor 14 Stunden
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Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:49,
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My mate is coming round after work to see the baby.We're feeding him steak and chips.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:49, Reply)
I've never owed anyone anything in my life.I think it was the Lord Jesus who said 'never a borrower nor a lender be', and it's always been the way I've lived.
IT'S A SHAME JIM BROADBENT DIDN'T FOLLOW THAT ADVICE.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:50,
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He starred in a very, very shit version of Mary Norton's 'The Borrowers'. (
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:53,
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God that was crapGiven the acting talent involved it's almost impressive that it was so bad.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:54, Reply)
This is one of those times where I wish I had a direct psychic hotline into your brainor Google
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:58, Reply)
Daughter of the ropey bird from Coronation St.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:01,
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Yes John Goodman was in it and he's certainly talented.The variety of different red-faced fat cunts he can play is simply breathtaking.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:58,
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No but if you hum it, I'm sure I'll pick it up pretty quickly.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:06,
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I really like John Goodman and think he is very good in lots of different films and sometimes tv programmes tooI hope this is ok
xx
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Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:03,
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A life without your love isn't worth livingI'm going to go lick some batteries until I electrocute to death
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Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:08,
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:08,
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DON'T DO IT, I REALISE NOW THAT LOSING YOU WOULD BE TOO MUCH TO BEARYOU CAN HAVE YOUR JOHN GOODMAN DVDs INCLUDING THE SIMPLY SUPERB 'FLINTSTONES' - AND I SHALL JUST HAVE TO LEARN TO LIKE THEM
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:10,
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AND THE EQUALLY BRILLIANT 'BLUES BROTHERS' SEQUEL WHICH EVEN I HAVE TO ADMIT IS VERY, VERY GOOD(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:11,
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Isn't teh premise of that book that there are a bunch of small thieves living in your house?(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:57, Reply)
Barryfromeastenders is quite short.That's all I'm saying.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:58,
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Is that Graham Norton's wife?(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:05,
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They seem like a lovely couple.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:16,
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I am not having a successful morning, Thanks to half term, people seem to have brought their kids to the pub, and decided to whinge at me because we don't have kids menus or high chairs. I didn't invite them here, they can Fuck off.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Feb 2013, 12:57,
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I told them that "I'm afraid that although we are child friendly, we do not have a strong enough family market in this area to put forward an exclusively child centered offer" (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:01,
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then I offered to cut a burger in half and serve it on 2 small plates if she wanted and she called me "unhelpfil" and "sarcastic" (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:02,
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See this is the problem if you try to engage with these people rather than going straight for punching them in the tits.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:03,
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it's just so fucking clear that we are not the sort of pub that is really for children. I even make a point of buying eye height to battered pointy edged tables, and have uneven floors as standard.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:06,
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People are cunts.People with kids are super-cunts.
People with kids in Oxford are so cunty as to tear holes in the space/time CUNTinuum.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:08,
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Also the fact that it is half term and I didn't even know, is making me want to break down in tears.:o((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:09,
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oh mate, I'm a terrible forum chum. I'm going to punch myself on the throat. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:11,
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I don't dislike children, but people who insist they can still do all the same stuff, and go to all the same old places with a double buggy the size of a small hippo in tow are silly faces. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:10,
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As a parent who likes a drink.I would never take my kids to a child-friendly pub as they are shit and full of cunts.
But I don't expect the pubs I go to to cater for my kids.
It's helpful if they stock crisps as this contributes to my efforts to stop the kids annoying other people.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:10,
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^ this ^Apart from the crisps bit, we don't give our child those.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:12,
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Nobody else could be that pretentious (
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:18,
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The only thing Battered's kid is allowed to choke on is his cheesy, stubby little cock.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:15,
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Too young to have salt. Only 17 months old.Most crisps have salt, regardless of the flavour.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:15,
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too young for salt? Really?
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:17,
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Apparently kids shouldn't have much salt1 to 3 years: 2g salt a day (0.8g sodium)
www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Goodfood/Pages/salt.aspx
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:19,
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Tell that to Ian and Angela Gay.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:28,
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You will with the second one.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:16,
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Haha that is never coming back, my friend.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:19,
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this is how it should be. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:13,
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When I was working at Whitbread last yearBrewers Fayre was one of my responsibilites. They have all that kid friendly shit, including climbing frames etc. Fucking lethal, I am amazed they haven't been sued.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:15,
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I had a rat run across my foot at a Brewers fayre once. Then just sat under the table, like a dog begging for scraps.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:18,
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Did you cut a burger in half for it?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:19,
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Ah yes but it was a child friendly rat.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:20,
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I only worked at Whitbread on an interim contract, I would have made a lot more changes if I had been there longer.Like burning them all down and starting again.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:20,
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I'm glad you didn't, whilst I hate them all, they're a well paying client.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:41,
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I hope you replied with'Speak properly you mong. Unhelpfil? What sort of word is that.'
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:04,
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She'll be slagging you off on Mumsnet right now.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:05,
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she is on her ipad. I might check am I being unreasonable section.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:07,
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You should've gone quiet for a few seconds and then asked 'I can cut up a sausage instead...?'(
Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:12,
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This man only speaks the truth.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:18,
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Also, I just don't take my kids into pubs'Family Friendly' doesn't stop other adults getting drunk, using bad language (such as 'Fuck' and 'Tits') and even becoming violent.
I'm sure that your establishment is nothing like this, but I'd rather not take the chance.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:19,
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lol, you said tits. It gets pretty rowdy in the evenings sometimes, so we have a no under 18s after 730 policy.
I worry more about things like broken glass and dirt, kids like to crawl around on floors, and pub floors are filthy. I often find glass in the soles of my shoes after a busy shift, you never seem to get it all up the first try
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:27,
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AbsolutelyBest just to not take them in there at all. Or if they have a garden, sit out there with them. As I say, people with kids are cunts.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:29,
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Paul Simon's unsucsseful follow on single.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:38,
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You should have replied:"Madam, this is a pub. It is not a creche. We don't have high chairs, we don't have children's menus (unless you count the non-alcoholic drinks behind my glowingly polished bar), we don't have a ball pit. We have a pool table, a darts board and enough regulars that I am not terribly bothered about your custom. I suggest going elsewhere."
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Kroney, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:19,
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+ and then punched her in the tits.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:20,
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'Also, I have just done a poo in your handbag'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:21,
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she decided her kids could share a fish and chips, then asked if we could do a special batter without beer. I might punch her in the tits.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:24,
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I read that as BatteredAnd did a little lol
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:32,
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Ask her how she would advise you to go about extracting the beerfrom a frozen ready meal. Would she suggest trying before or after it goes in the microwave?
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Kroney, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:27,
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Does she think if you eat battered fish you'll get drunk?(
Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:29,
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God she sounds nearly as thick as Tango's tard missus.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:34,
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I have years of offtopic gossip to catch up withINFO ME UP MOBO
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Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:38,
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Tango's wife is such a monumental dunce that she can't tell when he's been smokingplus he's convinced her that regular and aggressive anal prevents breast cancer.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:47,
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Does he just tell her that the smell is the side effect of a vegan diet?(
Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:48,
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He tells her that it's her own tits that she can smell.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:52,
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I do love the way these things snowball.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:54,
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Her tits snowball?What on earth are you doing to them?
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Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:55,
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Shit in her cunt.Beer free. FFS.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:29,
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He'll never get to shag her up the shitter in the men's bogs, the cubicle with the broken door and the phone number of 'Fat Angie' on the wall, for preferenceWith that attitude
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Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:26,
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I once borrowed a pen from workbut I returned it the next day.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:06,
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alright Vag. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:08,
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Alright Windy Pig.You OK?
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:16,
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pretty good, apart from the mothers club that seems to have invaded my pub. I might have to go do some paperwork.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:20,
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You can see now that the whole 'yummy-mummy' thing is a complete myth.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:21,
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I dunno man, clearly you haven't seen some of the people here.Plastic fantastic..
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:29, Reply)
Oh don't - my local's recently had an excellent refit, and now has candles and wallpaper, plays a bit of dub and metal, and has a range of ales.Every Saturday and Sunday frigging afternoon it becomes a bloody creche.
I actually overheard one woman say sternly to her husband "Nathan you're not having another pint you've got to drive tomorrow!"
Cunts.
/blog
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:31,
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This just made me office lol.www.amazon.co.uk/STEVE-McFADDEN-Canvas-Signed-Artist/dp/B003BRMKDO/ref=pd_sim_sbs_kh_2
Now I just need someone to move house so I can buy them that as a present.
Or maybe it could go in our bog.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:27, Reply)
Surely the Gaffney one is the better choice?www.amazon.co.uk/DEAN-GAFFNEY-Canvas-Signed-Artist/dp/B003BRMJD0/ref=pd_sim_sbs_kh_2
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:29,
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People who viewed this also viewed:-Shewee extreme.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:30,
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this sounds a very strange situation. I thought it was the other way around...
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:28, Reply)
Chompy wants to see swipe's cock?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:30,
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Come on Poppet where have you hidden himmetro.co.uk/2013/02/14/sam-woodhead-fears-over-british-teen-missing-in-australian-outback-3476679/
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:47,
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You do know he was found?Oh no, you didn't, you're just a witless spastic.
(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:48, Reply)
Didn't bother to read past the headline to be honest(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:50,
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My ex-housemate still owes me some cashNo way of getting it off him though, no method of contacting him, and I doubt he's got anything anyway.
Ah well, I've just had a massive chilli and cheese jacket potato for lunch, and it was wonderful.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:39,
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now al, stop your stirringpsycho never learned the words "thank you" or "sorry", or that it's not cool to behave like a cunt and then slag people off to mutual friends but pretend to be nice again when you want something legal. we should pity him really.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:40,
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Afternoon Ma'amHow did the valentine date go?
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:43,
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we had a lovely timegirls are better than boys
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:45,
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Monty's mum agree's with this comment(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:46,
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I slag you off to mutual friends, but I haven't asked for legal advice for quite a long time now, so I reckon we're still cool.(, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:46, Reply)
cooler than the ice man songwhich made me and berk laugh a LOT when we heard it last night. as did the pussy cat song.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:50,
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thiswww.horntip.com/mp3/1960s/1960s_wow_records_(45)/w-901--hh-2003-and-hh-2004/HH-2004_ice_man.htm
and this (kind of nsfw if anyone can hear your computer)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJ0UfziNTBE
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Feb 2013, 13:52,
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