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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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New thread that makes sense
Calories. I just went through the below quiz and there are some very surprising answers in there. And when I say surprising, I mean obviously wrong.

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/quiz/2013/feb/19/how-many-calories-do-you-need

Do you calorie-count? How do you make sure you're not on the road to ending up with your own pet Rancor and an army of slaves to push you about your palatial Tatooine estate? That doesn't sound bad actually.

Alt: SPORT CHAT. Man Utd have won the league, the Ashes are all but in the bag and I assume Scotland are still shit at Rugby. Do we need a new, less predictable, sport? Your suggestions please.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:12, 149 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
I'm just eating crisps.
They have 247kcal in them.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:15, Reply)
This is the depressing thing about calorie counting
That's like, a 5km run right there. Just like that, 25 minutes of sweaty effort obliterated by a packet of Cheese & Onion.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:17, Reply)
Yeah, but you're constantly losing calories just by being alive.
You'll only need to do a 5km run if you eat an extra bag of crisps.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:21, Reply)
True
It's the effort to burn vs ease to put it on that's depressing
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:24, Reply)
10 Stone person burns about 500 calories while asleep.

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:31, Reply)

10 Stone person burns The average b3tan consumes
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:32, Reply)
SLEEP EATING IS A REAL PROBLEM!!!!

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:33, Reply)
I got 7/10

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:18, Reply)
I'm sure there's more calories than that in a 5% pint

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:19, Reply)
Gay

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:26, Reply)
haha, "rugby"
like that's a sport
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:27, Reply)
I'll have a coffee now and wait for some spastic to bleat on about
"eleven men kicking a ball around"
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:32, Reply)
fifteen men

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:01, Reply)
I got 6/10 but it won't show me the answers so I don't know which ones.
I have never counted calories in my life.
I've always been skinny and the one time I felt I needed to lose weight I excercised a very small amount and stopped eating unnecessary things.
That seemed to work for me.

Alt: I suggest a ban on SPORT CHAT.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:29, Reply)
I foolishly clicked SHOW ANSWERS
and it showed me the answers
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:31, Reply)
I tried that, but nothing happened.
What have they got to hide from me, eh?
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:33, Reply)
7/10, not too bad
I do count calories on meals, I just don't give a shit. "60% of my daily sugar intake? Sounds good."

Bet you're calorie counting, you meat-ignoring freak.

Alt: If you want things to be less predictable, just watch Liverpool games. The obvious prediction is for things to fall apart, the question is when.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:32, Reply)
this thread's PROPERLY boring, just sayin

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:35, Reply)
Yeah I am calorie counting
but I've shipped the best part of two stone this year
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:39, Reply)
how's being a yurt dwelling lesbian working out for you?

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:40, Reply)
The first 24 hours have been utterly problem-free
I assume that this will continue to be the case indefinitely
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:41, Reply)
you assume incorrectly, as your red blood cell levels drop you'll begin to feel weak and useless
then your brain will cease to function as well, lowering your IQ and cognitive abilities.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:45, Reply)
I've been posting here for three years or summat
I think absolute zero has been reached and breached.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:46, Reply)
On that basis you must have been vegetarian since birth.

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:51, Reply)
Nah, calories are just a small part of it all. Fat, sat fat, sugar etc all count as well

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:34, Reply)
7/10

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:36, Reply)
I'll have as many calories as I fucking well like.
It's one of the joys about being built like a gypsies dog.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:34, Reply)
you have three legs and mangy coat/

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:36, Reply)
No, a head shawl and herpes

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:39, Reply)
You know you're really turning into a girl Darth.

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:40, Reply)
I was a bit worried about posting this thread
for fear that my unremittingly masculine reputation around these parts might suffer
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:42, Reply)
I find that by staying active, gym 3 times a week ish, and not being an idiot when it comes to portion sizes,
I fluctuate wildly between about 12 and 14 stone. Once I peaked at 15 and I cried a little.
Maybe I should drink less beer. Fuck it.

Alt; Tonsil Hockey can go seriously awry if you're partner isn't ready for kick off.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:42, Reply)
Beer and booze are the real problems, food I can reduce, but don't take my beer away from me

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:46, Reply)
That's been a big part of my successful weight loss this year
Not touched a drop since December 29th. Just saying.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:47, Reply)
Probably why you had to take those pills to cheer yourself up ;)
tbh though, who wants to be friends with a teetotal vegetarian?
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:48, Reply)
Not me.
I'd rather be friends with a bent spastic. At least it'd make me look good in comparison.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:50, Reply)
PESCETARIAN
Get it right.

It's not a bad point though. No meat, no beer, no cigarettes (for some good time now), no MDs (ditto). I might have to grow a personality at this rate.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:52, Reply)
Might be easier to start eating meat again.

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:54, Reply)
I thought the sisters were supposed to support each other?
Et tu, tangledupinbiue?
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:56, Reply)
I just don't trust people who don't drink.
It ain't right.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:58, Reply)
I'm not off the booze permanently
just until I'm thin and sexy.

Oh.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:00, Reply)
alright shitheads
My moms got two new knees
and the fuckers locked me out of the hospital because I didnt have the right badge but let some obvious drunk person go get a phone charger without an id badge fucking morons
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:43, Reply)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
You and your mum need to have a wheelchair race before she gets our of hospital, those lino floors are so over polished they're perfect for hand break turns.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:45, Reply)
Top womaning!

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:54, Reply)
Happy Birthday K swizz
I hope your mom gets well soon.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:51, Reply)
ta Al

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:55, Reply)
Can we have a non shit thread today?
Actually I don't care, I'm off for lunch.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:43, Reply)
Sure, ask us for relationship advice again
that always gets the lols flowing.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:03, Reply)
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
I think I may have discovered my problem...

"You scored 3 out of a possible 10

Oh dear: you're eating a massive cheeseburger with one hand and doing this quiz with the other, aren't you? Perhaps you should skip the chocolate-pudding dessert and go for a walk instead."

pwned by an online quiz.

Alt: considering how they keep banging on about how obese we all are, they should start a Sumo league here in Britain.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:44, Reply)
You say that like it won't happen
Celebrity Sumo must have been spawned in some idiotic/genial TV exec's brain. In America.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:45, Reply)
What do you reckon to the fizzy drink advert watershed?
Surely an obese population is a sign that capitalism is roaring on great guns.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:46, Reply)
It's a fairly good indicator that we're not as cash-strapped as everyone keeps moaning we are.
Saying that, if you're the kind of troglodyte that thinks Coke is a good thing for your four year old child to drink, you're not going to care what advertising regulations are in place.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:49, Reply)
exactly, why strangle business advertising because people aren't being taught to understand healthy eating and living.

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:02, Reply)
Perhaps in addition to your recently added children's menu you could do the same thing for those on a calorie-controlled diet?

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:09, Reply)
We do a "healthy burger"
Which just consists of taking the bun off and adding some more lettuce.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:15, Reply)
I was thinking along the same lines as your solution for the woman with the kid - cut the burger in half = half the calories.
But that works too, especially for the current trend for replacing carbohydrates with meat.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:22, Reply)
5/10
Pathetic.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:50, Reply)
No, that's average for the British male
Whatever height you are is pathetic
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:53, Reply)
I am 5'9''.
The UK average is 5'8''.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:55, Reply)
You fall into the category of people who are shorter than my girlfriend
Or "women" as they're known.

Also; is it fuck
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:00, Reply)
It is.
However to get that height you have to take the average height of people who are just 5' 8". Any other heights will muck up the results.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:04, Reply)
I assume the survey he's based this on
involves everyone who's read Game of Thrones giving Tyrion Lannister's height as their own
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:08, Reply)
No way is Battered 5'9"

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:10, Reply)
Yes I am.

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:12, Reply)
You can't be.
No offence or anything, but you're way shorter than me.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:13, Reply)
5 hands 9 fingers
Which is really 7'1, but never mind.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:19, Reply)
How tall are you?

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:26, Reply)
I might have a footlong Subway for lunch and a couple of pints

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:50, Reply)
Alright Marc Almond
I'll settle for the leftover Mexican fish stew with lemon & jalapeno rice I made last night
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:54, Reply)
Pistorius has given his version of events.
Sounds legit.
gu.com/p/3dqby
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:56, Reply)
I know things are different in South Africa
but what kind of society is it where "I thought she was a burglar" is an acceptable excuse for inflicting multiple gunshot wounds?
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 12:59, Reply)
The kind where the solution to carjacking is installing flamethrowers under your car.

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:03, Reply)
Seriously?!
When did The A Team start franchising?
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:03, Reply)
I want flamethrowers under my car.

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:04, Reply)
I want one under the front passenger seat.
That should stop my wife trying to contradict the sat nav.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:05, Reply)
Oh and those spikey things to prevent rape.

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:04, Reply)
FANNY CALTROPS

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:05, Reply)
I'm going to get so bored of this story aren't I?

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:01, Reply)
I hope not
Who else will keep us up to date with fascinating links? WP's done it wrong already. Who links to the Guardian FFS.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:03, Reply)
:(

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:07, Reply)
Earlier the BBC reported that he shot her in the bathroom.
Other reports have said that he shot her in the head and leg.

With all of this confusion I think he ought to be released. He won't get a fair trial.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:01, Reply)
This is funny because "bathroom" is Afrikaans for cunt

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:03, Reply)
You fucking bathroom.

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:04, Reply)
I'll bathroom you in the fuck sunshine
Unfortunately "shit in her bathroom" actually works perfectly well
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:05, Reply)
I don't want to come across as all racist and that
but I'm pretty sure that the main criminal demographic in South Africa is not a tall, gorgeous, blonde girl.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:14, Reply)
He'd have been better off claiming he mistook her for a Cylon

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:22, Reply)
No, I'm not clicking on that, sorry

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:06, Reply)
"I love horsemeat"
Best of all the beef alternatives.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:07, Reply)
click on my link, it's got a photo of a man in tears.

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:08, Reply)
Haha
whataprick!
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:11, Reply)
I cry sometimes when I'm alone.

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:14, Reply)
I cry everytime I'm alone
or with people.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:18, Reply)
+ wanking

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:22, Reply)
roughly yes, and keep an eye on grams of fat too
it's a helpful guide, but no more than that.

they should bring back hunting, but with people instead of foxes.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:23, Reply)
When you say "people", do you mean "celebrities"?
Cos that would be brilliant
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:23, Reply)
She means plebs

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:26, Reply)
As defined by us or her?
To Swipe, everyone's a pleb. Except her. Because the plebs won't accept gingers.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:28, Reply)
I'm afraid as a "Northern" she is a class 2 pleb, so will be running once the Class 1 plebs have been eradicated

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:32, Reply)
HEY
don't make me "al" our fb friendship
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:32, Reply)
Oh you don't mean that
I'm too nice to you when other people aren't looking
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:34, Reply)
Chav hunting
Like "Running Man" for toffs.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:28, Reply)
chavs, celebrities, those twats who walk around with their pants under their buttocks
it's a broad category
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:32, Reply)
I thought pants were meant to cover your arse.
I can't believe I got it so wrong.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:35, Reply)
Calorie counting is for girls and fairies, which are you boy?
When my belt starts to get tight I eat less and exersize more, I can't see why it needs to be more complex than that, I suppose you could use a pair of scales if you want to be fancy. it seems pretty obvious which foods are higher or lower in fat, sugar etc, so it's just a matter of eating at a rate you can work off. I'm not saying I always do this, but it's simple enough to understand.

I think people are generally looking for magic solutions that will let them eat what they like and not get fat.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:33, Reply)
God yes

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:34, Reply)
did you just cum?

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:38, Reply)
if it were that simple there would be no fat people
some people clearly have psychological issues. and some people genuinely do seem to lack the hormone that tells you when you're full. a lifetime of depriving yourself and feeling hungry and working out just to stay average, whilst your mates can eat and drink whatever they like, ok within reason but compared to you, must seem impossible.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:49, Reply)
it is that simple
in terms of a physical process. if it were that easy to do I'd be 2 stone lighter. And yes, I grant your points but none of then apply to the bender who started the thread, also much money is being made trying to mystify the process when it's really not needed.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:55, Reply)
people want a quick fix
other people rip them off. this is also true.

but i maintain that the fads can work IF you accept they are a very short-term kickstart to being healthy, because they give you a beginning boost. eg i wanted to lose a stone after new year. so i did my faddy water diet for a week, lost half a stone, and the other half has come off over the following month with eating healthily and running 3-5 times a week.

if you think they are a magical wand that will make you thin so you can stuff your face, or you think you can do them for more than a couple of weeks, you're an idiot.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:57, Reply)
Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:58, Reply)
people who say that
haven't just eaten the toasted mushroom, garlic and emmenthal sandwich that i had from paul. mmmm.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:59, Reply)
Paul is over rated.

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:02, Reply)
i never go in there normally for that exact reason
but this sandwich was proper nom
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:04, Reply)
well, you would, wouldn't you?
*Wanders off to find the proper psychological term to describe the way people feel compelled to speak in favour of something they's invested time and effort in, even though that secretly know it was a waste of time and money*
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:00, Reply)
haha
i measure it by results - i know how much weight i lost, and it's all stayed off, so i consider that a success.

but it never ceases to amaze me that people starve on a diet, then eat like hogs, then blame the diet for putting it all back on.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:05, Reply)
These are jokes right?
www.whathifi.com/review/vertere-pulse-d-fi
www.whathifi.com/review/furutech-g-320ag

You can't actually spend £70 on a USB cable and £150 on a power cable and think they in any way affect your hi fi system right?
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:34, Reply)
Yeah, cos the micron thick gold on the plug will make a difference when the signal is travelling down 30ms of another metal

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:37, Reply)
Some people believe they make a difference. Bullshit.

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:38, Reply)
Power possibly
but if it made that much difference you'd already have a proper filtered supply for your hifi, right?
The usb one just gives you straighter 1s and rounder 0s
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:39, Reply)
I'm sorry, are you saying that the power supply cable can somehow affect the sound that comes through your system?

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:42, Reply)
i hate the way "Just Looking" sounds on a stereo with a shit power cable

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:45, Reply)
No
I said if such a thing did make a difference you'd have to have a perfect incoming supply to be able to tell. Normal mains has so much noise on it it would dwarf any possible slight improvement that could be made by a mere cable.
tl:dr it's bollocks made up to sell cables.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:47, Reply)
Again, you're implying that the "noise" on the power supply somehow affects the sound that comes out of your speakers
as if the presence of at least one transistor somewhere in the amplifier doesn't immediately negate any effect the power cable itself might have.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:52, Reply)
Transistor????
Valves, dude.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:53, Reply)
You're an electrician, right?
Cos if a simple transistor could stop all electrical noise then there'd be no need for stuff to have smoothed power supplies and the like.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:00, Reply)
And you'd never hear mains hum through speakers.

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:01, Reply)
Yes I am
And you're a student, right?
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:04, Reply)
20 years ago maybe
and electronics was a part of it.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:05, Reply)
Yeah, of course it was.

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:08, Reply)
You're very good
I still can't decide whether you're trolling or not.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:16, Reply)
my power cable was £229 from bang & olufsen

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:50, Reply)
You mug.

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:51, Reply)
They saw you coming a fucking mile off

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:52, Reply)
Ten miles

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:52, Reply)
lol
compare.ebay.co.uk/like/260901544776?var=lv<yp=AllFixedPriceItemTypes&var=sbar&cbt=y
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:54, Reply)
haha

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:54, Reply)
lol jk i don't even own an power cable
but i wondered if al would bite
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:53, Reply)
Oh how hilarious.
(!)
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:54, Reply)
compared to the turgid drivel that spurts from your fingers, gob and arse
it most certainly was
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:55, Reply)
+n't

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:55, Reply)

n't
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:58, Reply)
I got the joke
I'm just astounded Battered didn't.

No wait, not astounded, the other thing. Unsurprised.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:59, Reply)
he did say thank you for it though

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:04, Reply)
it's amazing what shit 'audiophiles' will swallow
just ask any of the people on here who believe that vinyl is somehow superior to any other music storage medium.
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:56, Reply)
so long as you're not talking about theft here

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 13:58, Reply)
I was wondering why this thread is limping on
then I remebered taht you can't see the new one :(
(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:00, Reply)
i am sure it's a rollercoaster of homebrew chat

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:03, Reply)
it's flatlined...

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:04, Reply)
that was an epically shit film

(, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 14:05, Reply)

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