Horrible pan pipe Andean shit music.
It's been playing all morning, it's shite. What's annoyed you so far?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:16, 100 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

A slight pain in my neck and ear wax

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:17, Reply)

Same old shit.
I'm thinking of buying a bbq this weekend, don't know if expensive ones are worth the money.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:19, Reply)

They will probably last longer.
The cheapy steel ones are a waste of money as they go rusty
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:19, Reply)

I made one out of cricks, and the shelf from a cooker.
A work of civil engineering genius.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:21, Reply)

cricks?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:22, Reply)

Bricks.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:25, Reply)

I'm going to make a BBQ and a wood fired oven once the house is done

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:22, Reply)

BBQ tip of the day
Find a Local joinery shop and purchase the off cuts and shavings to burn
Oak, Hickory & Cherry all add a distinct flavour to your BBQ
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:58, Reply)

I like this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:02, Reply)

You dear sir are very welcome

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:03, Reply)

my mate sawed a big steel drum in half
And welded legs on one end and the pedestal from a swivel chair on the other. Lasted years.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:05, Reply)

You have to be careful with that. If there's any petrol left in it then it can explode.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:07, Reply)

I think it was industrial waste
I'm sure we're all fine though,vbfgj8i0rghogh
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:10, Reply)

This also works really well
Even better if you reatach the other half to act as a lid
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:07, Reply)

he made two
I think one of them is still going.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:11, Reply)

I've had expensive ones, and i've used those disposables.
In the UK, I don't think the expensive BBQs are worth it in the UK, you can buy a _lot_ of disposables for the price of a proper one, they light a lot faster, and [voilin time] when you're on your own, you can have a BBQ for one/two.

A big one is great if you're having family/friend BBQs every week for 6 months of the year, but I wouldn't bother otherwise.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:24, Reply)

That's my thinking.
I don't see how I'll get £100-£400 of use out of a bbq, possibly better just to get a £20 to £30 one.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:27, Reply)

It's the cooking over charcoal bit that gives the flavour, not the barbecue itself.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:34, Reply)

Yep, but I'd want a lid and shelves at various heights.
That'll be enough.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:44, Reply)

As long as it has a flat cooking surface and not just a cheap wide metal grill it'll be OK
much less likely to burn/flame.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:54, Reply)

I always play the "If I won the lotto" game with Ma', which has some very realistic rules,
and we decided that i'd get a pizza-oven built instead.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:36, Reply)

Nothing yet
but the day is but young.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:20, Reply)

This thread.
Your face, the continuing career of Tim Vine, that sort of thing xx
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:22, Reply)

Don't answer with kisses please.
It's bent xx
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:26, Reply)

exit signs aye? they're on the way out

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:28, Reply)

velcro, what a rip off

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:28, Reply)

i've just been on a once in a life time holidays, i tell you what, never again

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:39, Reply)

NHS employees breaching NHS internet use policy to dick about on the internet when they should be doing the work of 2.5 people.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:29, Reply)

i'm currently doing the work of 0.1 people

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:45, Reply)

Nothing interesting enough to warrant moaning about on the internet.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:31, Reply)

everything is terrible

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:46, Reply)

My inability to moderate a messageboard is really annoying me. I get to delete and edit shit posts BUT THATS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME
I mean how difficult can it be? Although I do enjoy the attention constantly whining about it brings me
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:52, Reply)

Shouldn't that be B3ff?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:55, Reply)

IM GOING BACK TO BED

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:56, Reply)

You should get a laptop, then you could 'mod' this place from your bed.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:09, Reply)

I like how you complain about not having any power to do anything
yet won't do anything to change it.
( Kroney, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:56, Reply)

i am so bored of the b3th bashing
leave her alone, she's nice.

there are much bigger fuckwits you can all pick on.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:57, Reply)

She's nice, but she's a shit mod.

( Kroney, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:58, Reply)

but if people weren't dicks
then we wouldn't need a mod. i've been here nearly 10 years, the only person i've ever had any issue with is psychochomp, and that's because he behaved disgustingly IRL, not on here. never gone screeching to a mod, never used ignore, never been stepped...

basically, why can't everyone just be more like ME?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:00, Reply)

needs more greggs hats

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:01, Reply)

i haven't set foot in a greggs since i worked in didsbury
they used to do a rather nice "cheese savoury" sandwich. basically cheese and butter and mayonnaise i think. a heart attack for 90p.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:03, Reply)

Either we have a mod, or we don't. Either is fine with me.
If b3th wants to be a mod, that is also fine with me. If b3th is going to hang on to the mod position whilst doing nothing but whine about how mean everybody is and do absolutely nothing mod-like, then I don't see the problem in making fun of her for it.
( Kroney, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:02, Reply)

Is it cos straight men need lovin too?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:03, Reply)

it's like literally impossiblt to contact rob
it's only by some strange quirk that someone like scaryduck, a man with a history of severe mental illness resulting in catatonic breakdowns has ever been given mod powers
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:58, Reply)

I hear Rob's some sort of ineffable antediluvian
He certainly didn't respond very politely within five minutes when I was havin icon problems.
( Kroney, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:01, Reply)

you should really google his name. His contact number and address pop up.
You can ring him and tell him that you've collected his kids from school
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:04, Reply)

real life threats on the internet right here.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:17, Reply)

men

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:55, Reply)

Detailz plz

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:57, Reply)

sat with the ex was illuminating
mostly it illuminated that he's an idiot with no idea what he wants

sun with the potential new bloke was good and bad
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:58, Reply)

i believe its already been covered in great detail, but the 'ex' is a knob, nobody can comprehend why you waste your time with him
it's like totally boring
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:00, Reply)

believe me
the new one has the potential to be much much better.

also, much much worse.

why are there no normal men? why?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:02, Reply)

it's early days, he's managing to hide what a complete knob he is. It'll come out in due course
you're basically a knob magnet
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:03, Reply)

epic epic sadface

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:06, Reply)

on the plus side united win the title tonight

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:08, Reply)

yeah that's just fucked my plans right up
as the boys are insisting that we don't go to the amazing peruvian tapas place i booked, but now want to go to the pub instead. ffs.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:11, Reply)

there are fucking loads.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:05, Reply)

there really aren't
they all seem normal on the surface. then you realise they have mummy issues or money issues or tell you that refusing to have anal is a dealbreaker...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:07, Reply)

well, i have none of those problems, and at least 4 mates that don't either.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:07, Reply)

*bums*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:08, Reply)

me and you sporto, would be a beautiful sandwich.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:09, Reply)

Bacon Burger
Cow and Pig in beautiful harmony
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:14, Reply)

although, we're all in comitted, stable relationships and have been for some time,
maybe you left it a bit late.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:08, Reply)

Would it hurt to have it up the bum?
I've seen loads of videos where these girls do it and it doesn't hurt THEM.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:10, Reply)

you take it up the bum, and let us know.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:12, Reply)

this is almost precisely what i said to mr "our bodies belong to each other and that means every bit of you"
but apparently it doesn't stretch to his arse being violently penetrated with 8 inches of plastic, "because it's sensitive". double standards, i think.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:13, Reply)

i think bottom sex is icky anyway, so this is not a problem,
some people are just perverts. I was trick linked to a reddit called /r/sexwithdogs recently, that was fucking unpleasant.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:16, Reply)

Fuck's sake, B3th'll do anything to get full modding powers.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:19, Reply)

i don't know
where's that gay geordie bloke when we need him
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:12, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1939943
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:13, Reply)

It's because you've left it so late.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:07, Reply)

pfffft
i've been dating/in relationships since i was 13. ALL. THE SAME.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:09, Reply)

I think it's probably you then.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:13, Reply)

NONCE

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:13, Reply)

How long were you seeing Bartleby for?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:13, Reply)

About as long as ANDREW MARR

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:14, Reply)

see, this makes me think maybe it is your fault

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:24, Reply)

GET A DATE WITH ANDREW MARRS!!!!!!!!

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:10, Reply)

Please reflect on the common denominator of all your previous relationships
and then re-evaluate whether it is the "abnormal men" who are the issue

HTH
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:07, Reply)

it does
men suck
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:14, Reply)

Your ex did
Cock
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:14, Reply)

Zing

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:20, Reply)

I'm normal

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:08, Reply)

Because you don't like normal men
you like whining, narcissistic girly-men with serious social hang-ups. Why you can't seem to have a successful relationship with one is entirely beyond me.
( Kroney, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:08, Reply)

our ideas of normal are probably a bit different too
i mean, you probably think you're normal
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:14, Reply)

I wouldn't go that far.
Nobody thinks Kroney's normal.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:15, Reply)

he probably does, to be fair
but yeah, nobody agrees
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:19, Reply)

it's probably something to do with you being a moaning whiny cow
perhaps
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:47, Reply)

Women

( Kroney, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 11:56, Reply)

Detailz plz

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:00, Reply)

Nah, not really.
I have a lot of success in that arena.
( Kroney, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:08, Reply)

nothing so far,
pretty easy going morning, except that i've had a slight cold for well over 2 weeks now, just a bit snotty, so nothing serious, just mildly irritating.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:04, Reply)

Office drearies bleating on about BGT or some shit

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:17, Reply)

alright Dr. Imble,
how are you?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:25, Reply)

Splendid ta, you okay?
Laptop died Sat so a bit sad, proper burial scheduled for next weekend, thinking about a headstone so future green-fingered tenants know where to avoid if they don't want lithium ion-flavoured carrots
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:28, Reply)

maybe just get a wireless keyboard, and have the letters spell out your laptops name jutting out of the ground.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:44, Reply)

Just put a blue screen over the hole.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:48, Reply)

Saw an ad for "Dog and Beth: On the Hunt"
and thought b3th can't even get top billing against Biscuit.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:32, Reply)

I hear that B3th's biscuit bill is IMMENSE.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:38, Reply)

biscuit Sanatogen
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 22 Apr 2013, 12:43, Reply)