one thing about working here, we have really excellent biscuits
but now the trays have biscuits that are specially made for dunking. wtf? would you sit in a meeting and dunk? rank. should be illegal.

alt: are you allergic to anything?

altalt: who's the biggest spastic you know?

edit: other biscuits on the tray include clubs and kitkats. wtf. a kitkat is not a biscuit. it is a nasty little wafer polluting perfectly good chocolate.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:28, 151 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Dunking is for plebs and cunts.
There. I said it.

Alt: I used to be allergic to tequila, but I seem to have got over it. Maybe I was confusing "allergy" with "dislike".
( Kroney, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:30, Reply)

hoorah
we agree on something. it's taken 10 years, but here it is.

dunking bread in soup is EVEN WORSE.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:31, Reply)

OMG I AGREE

( Kroney, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:32, Reply)

the bread goes claggy and soggy
and the soup gets full of crumbs.

who the fuck does that?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:32, Reply)

What about croutons?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:33, Reply)

lovely on a salad
shit in soup
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:33, Reply)

HOLY SHIT

( Kroney, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:35, Reply)

Nice when crunchy on top of a salad or whatever.
In soup they turn into nasty, mushy, squishy, gross sickbags.
( Kroney, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:34, Reply)

Too many MARRS to mention
ANDREW HUCKNALLS!!!!
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:37, Reply)

Oh I like this

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:38, Reply)

ITHANKYOU

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:39, Reply)

Well, I'm not entirely certain but I'm going to hazard a guess at plebs. And cunts.

( Kroney, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:33, Reply)

So if the soup had croutons in, would you send it back?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:34, Reply)

no, i would scoop them out and eat the fried crunchy golden goodness
before they turned into squashy little sickbags of - DAMMIT KRONEY

i only like soup when it's piping hot. i end up sending it back in 90% of places anyway.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:35, Reply)

What?
What the fuck is wrong with you?

I'm amazed any restauarants let you come back if you're like that with your food.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:37, Reply)

i'm v polite about it
but lukewarm soup is a thing of horror
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:39, Reply)

This I do agree with^^

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:40, Reply)

Why? You can't eat something really hot
so you have to wait for it to cool down to a reasonable temperature.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:44, Reply)

Depends on your definition of reasonable
I like soup to be borderline scorching the roof of my mouth. Same with pizza, the cheese should be like molten lava.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:59, Reply)

Fuck no, pizza that is too hot is agony, especially when you don't realise how hot it is until you bite into it.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:03, Reply)

this is why god made knives and forks

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:12, Reply)

God is from Sheffield?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:14, Reply)

i believe in miracles...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:16, Reply)

Agreeing with Swipe here. Soup has to be piping hot.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:45, Reply)

I once made the mistake of attempting to eat piping hot seafood chowder
So tasty, but so fucking painfully hot.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:04, Reply)

I suspect you end up eating a lot of spit.

( Kroney, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:39, Reply)

not as much as your mum

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:39, Reply)

That's not spit

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:43, Reply)

WHAT ABOUT GAZPACHIO ?!?!?!

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:39, Reply)

Shhhhhh, she doesn't understand about that.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:40, Reply)

I'm gonna make some tonight now 'cus gazpachio is the best thing in the world on a day like today.
Well, one of the best, top 4.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:40, Reply)

i prefer it hot
with a swirl of sour cream or melty cheese
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:41, Reply)

The only soup you should add cheese to is French onion soup.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:44, Reply)

garbage
there is nothing in life that cannot be improved with the judicious application of a big fistful of cheese. that spicy jalapeno cheese grated into soup is the swingers.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:44, Reply)

Nothing?
What about colonic irrigation?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:48, Reply)

I didn't know that was possible, i've always had it cold. I like a drop of tobasco in it.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:48, Reply)

Not in her top ten footballers, obv.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:43, Reply)

You're mentally ill.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:35, Reply)

alt. cats
Well, I say cats. I probably mean Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals in general.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:31, Reply)

Alt: Gypsies.
AltAlt: You.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:32, Reply)

I would struggle to eat biscuits in a meeting
as I'd be worried about getting crumbs all down my front.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:35, Reply)

i don't really think it's professional, unless it's a lunch meeting, of course
it can be quite annoying after a 3 hour meeting, when you're starving, and the client has scarfed down 15 clubs, kitkats, chocolate chip shortbread rings, and my favourite, the banana and butterscotch crunch or lemon curd cookies :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:38, Reply)

Have you considered that you might think about this sort of thing a bit too much?
I have no biscuit woes.

Alt: Hard work AMIRITE???

Altalt: They guy who played bass in a band I was in years ago.
I still only consider him to be a friend of a friend, despite having been in a band with him for a couple of years.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:39, Reply)

I probably eat a biscuit once every two years, I really couldn't care a toss, soz.
Alt: no, and I reckon a lot of people who think they are/claim to be aren't, either. cf 'wheat/lactose intolerance': bull shit Mr Han, man.

Altalt: Nakers obv
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:40, Reply)

Nakers is Patient Zero for bent spasticity.

( Kroney, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:42, Reply)

What about savoury biscuits with cheese?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:43, Reply)

Now we are talking

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:43, Reply)

I prefer Carrs water biscuits.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:44, Reply)

It depends on the cheese

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:47, Reply)

C M
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:51, Reply)

+Alan
water soggy
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:10, Reply)

LTI

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:14, Reply)

I wouldn't dunk in a meeting, it's very rare for me to dunk anyway, ruins your tea
Alt: Cat hair

AltAlt: Possibly Jodie, a girl I went to school with, once asked loudly in a History class why Hitler was speaking German.

Also, Kit Kats are wonderful.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:40, Reply)

Yeah the pretentious Austrian Kunt

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:42, Reply)

the sort meetings I have normally involve a lot of booze.
So the only dunking was when one of the new assistants up from London got a bit carried away, forgot who he was with and started dunking his willy in people's pints, like some sort of ghastly rugby lad cunt.

Alt: nope.

Altalt: Craig was his name. So socially inept, and crushingly insecure coupled with a hint of the sex pest made him one of the most uncomfortable people to be around. He had a temper as well. He was just a big ball of crazy. If he'd been a bit smarter he'd probably have ended up as a murderer.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:45, Reply)

Christ, what a cunt.

( Kroney, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:54, Reply)

he runs a pub in Camden now.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:25, Reply)

Ghastly
I would not sit in a meeting and dunk but give me a pack of gingernuts and try to stop me. Those special dunking bicccies are ok - my folks gave me some that they got on the ferry and they were nommy. When I am working I shall treat myself.
Penguins are rather good too.
Alt: nickel and tree pollen and wankers and football

altalt: Me
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:47, Reply)

You mean those really hard ones you get with coffee?
I don't dunk those, either. I eat them raw.
( Kroney, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:48, Reply)

Woah there strongman!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:51, Reply)

Fucking right.

( Kroney, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:10, Reply)

Alright, I don't want any trouble...

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:14, Reply)

Too right, you don't.
Go back to your Jammy Dodgers, little man.
( Kroney, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:16, Reply)

Lotus
Caramelised biscuits...they the ones you mean?
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:43, Reply)

Yes - dunking is a pleasure
Alt:
I may be allergic to banana - not sure. Grass pollen

AltAlt:
My mate Harry who you can convince of almost anything if you keep a straight face. For example, Jimi Hendrix was a shy white guy wearing a mask.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:47, Reply)

alt:alt: wasn't he?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:49, Reply)

Yes
Also Terry Waite is a serial killer (whispered to him in a bakery shop in York when he walked in behind us). Harry ran out screaming
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:50, Reply)

Genius.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:07, Reply)

another thing about working here, we all live in Kensington

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 11:59, Reply)

I don't even.....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:00, Reply)

i ain't apologising to some stockport prick
stockport prick
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:07, Reply)

Manchester has just been proven to be the most antisocial place in britain

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:10, Reply)

doesn't affect me, I live in Kensington

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:12, Reply)

quite right, we Kensington folk should stick together

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:10, Reply)

we won't, if we use our ample sponges morning, noon and night

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:12, Reply)

I don't get this latest thing.

( Kroney, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:10, Reply)

everyone lives in Kensington now
including you
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:10, Reply)

But I live in Guildford.

( Kroney, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:12, Reply)

i don't think he knows what kensington is

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:13, Reply)

When you have completed your masters degree at Oxford you can join the rest of us in Kensington.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:13, Reply)

they don't let just anyone in, you know
it's vair vair special
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:15, Reply)

Dune Coons and Eastern Europeans, very selective

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:17, Reply)

Accuracy online ^^

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:19, Reply)

fancy nipping down the Kensington Arms tonight for a few pints, I hear they've got a good guest bitter on there

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:16, Reply)

it went bust a couple of years ago
(this is actually true)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:18, Reply)

woah, I'm starting to think you don't actually live in Kensington

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:19, Reply)

did you just spack out and delete ?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:20, Reply)

christ no

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:26, Reply)

YES

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:30, Reply)

No can do - Toby and Jocasta have their Creative Writing class this evening at Ashbourne School.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:20, Reply)

well get the nanny to pick them up

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:23, Reply)

the nanny Bartleby
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:28, Reply)

kensington is a nice place to live
levenshulme, where frank lives, or it might be longsight, is a shithole place to live
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:11, Reply)

woah, some mistake there, I live in Kensington

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:12, Reply)

Withington isn't too far away, and that didn't seem too bad.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:12, Reply)

withington is a bit of a shithole
levenshulme and longsight and heaton mersey are bigger shitholes
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:13, Reply)

I must have been lucky then
Was visiting a friend there, whilst I had to walk through shitholes to reach his neighbourhood, it really didn't look too bad there.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:14, Reply)

the bits that border didsbury are ok
the bits that border fallowfield are rank
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:16, Reply)

Can't actually remember which bit it was closer to, tbh

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:18, Reply)

none of them are as nice as Kensington, which is where I live

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:27, Reply)

I'm going to move to Muswell Hill
It's really nice up there. When I move in I'll have a barbecue. I won't invite you because there'll be meat.
( Kroney, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:13, Reply)

yes you will
you love me

and i make excellent pasta/rice/potato "salads"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:13, Reply)

I made an incredibly lazy potato salad for a BBQ a couple of years ago, somehow got rave reviews
Potato, chives, pepper and a small spoon of mayo.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:14, Reply)

the secret ingredient is onion, for me

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:15, Reply)

haha, "onion", like anyone eats that

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:16, Reply)

momo would

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:18, Reply)

he'd eat his own penis if he could find it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:39, Reply)

wouldn't we all?

( Kroney, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:40, Reply)

The artist formally known asZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:42, Reply)

haha, "salad", like that's even a thing

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:15, Reply)

Salads? At a barbecue? What heresy is this?

( Kroney, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:16, Reply)

Hiya!!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:20, Reply)

Typical hippie hipster salad prick behaviour.

( Kroney, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:22, Reply)

Hey, I was into quinoa before it was fashionable.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:23, Reply)

There are three acceptable types of calorie intake at a barbecue
1: Meat
2: Booze
3: Meat

Christ, I bet you do barbecues so wrong that you even let girls have a go.
( Kroney, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:26, Reply)

This is correct.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:28, Reply)

I tend to turn up late and get stoned in the corner while all the fatties stuff themselves full of meat.
I don't know any girls :(
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:35, Reply)

what a great addition you must be to any party!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:36, Reply)

Not only the life, but also the soul.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:37, Reply)

I always do a little pasta salad, potato salad and some fresh salad whenever I host
It's a way of stopping the gluttonous bastards from eating all the meat too early.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:38, Reply)

you should really go to crouch end

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:19, Reply)

Oh man I can't wait for this, I'll bring some sausages and a paddling pool!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:30, Reply)

I won't invite you because you'll trip over your own paddling pool
and crash into the barbecue, ruining the food, my chances with all the h0t chix and resulting in the house being burnt down.

Or I'll get a call to say that somehow you've ended up twenty miles away with a thirty metre long sausage and can I help you attach it to your telly.

Either way, you're not invited.
( Kroney, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:32, Reply)

tee hee *click*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:33, Reply)

soooo, don't bring the paddling pool?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:34, Reply)

pfft "chuter"
Leicester Tigers hooker George Chuter is to be honoured with a testimonial next year in what will be his 14th season at Welford Road.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:20, Reply)

I'm honouring YM tonight. With a large load of hot spunk up her ringpiece.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:23, Reply)

haha, "Leicester", like that's even a thing

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:31, Reply)

Cheesily confused

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:36, Reply)

I've just ordered a straight razor.
I'm going to try living dangerously with my face.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:24, Reply)

I did this,
It was a mistake.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:26, Reply)

Oh no, don't say that.
It's not actually a solid straight razor, it's a "shavette" where you put disposable blades into a handle, like at the Barbers.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:29, Reply)

You're going to accidentally shave your chins off

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:31, Reply)

it's a lot harder than you think,
Especially if you're used to modern safety blades. Invest in decent strong aftershave, and prepare properly, hot towel is good, or a exfoliation to get follicles open.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:31, Reply)

i use a samarai sword and axle grease

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:35, Reply)

I always shave in the shower.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:43, Reply)

Best of all Ruddocks

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 24 Apr 2013, 12:26, Reply)