Anyone want to suck my willy?
its not all that but I'm drunk so I won't come
( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:53, 101 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

yeah go on then

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:54, Reply)

SP

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:54, Reply)

yeSP

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:01, Reply)

Have you been at it all night?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:54, Reply)

With your mum?
yes
( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:58, Reply)

Nice one.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:00, Reply)

I don't think I'd like sucking willies but your willy transcends all barriers
Let us all suck on broadsword's willy of peace
( Theoban What of it, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:55, Reply)

Pass it round.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:56, Reply)

Trudat

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:57, Reply)

:/

( Kroney, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:56, Reply)

:R

( Theoban What of it, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:57, Reply)

ITS NOT EVEN 11 IN THE MORNING YET.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:58, Reply)

This is why we've never met gonz, I'd be a bad influence

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:58, Reply)

'Go on Gonz, just try a sip of this beer, just one sip, can't hurt'
Next thing you know he's up a flagpole spinning like a stripper doing a catherine wheel of shit

bad broadsword
bad
( Theoban What of it, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:00, Reply)

Trudat

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:01, Reply)

That's up there with "the cheque's in the post" and "I'll respect you in the morning"
in the list of "Great Lies Of Our Time"
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:58, Reply)

Nah, I'm pretty sure he is drunk.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:01, Reply)

Pretty lethal that Bucky

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:02, Reply)

you'll feel better after a bit of a swim yeah

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:58, Reply)

IN YOUR MINGE

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 10:59, Reply)

Hahahaha.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:01, Reply)

:( I don't want gay sex with a man from the internet

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:03, Reply)

how about straight sex with a man from the internet?

( Theoban What of it, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:06, Reply)

Now your talking !

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:07, Reply)

cool I'll get broady to tuck it so it looks a bit like a fanny

( Theoban What of it, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:10, Reply)

every time you say that
i picture robert carlyle in "the full monty" trying to practice his stripper dance in the shed.

"hot chocolate? now yer talking".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:11, Reply)

Has battered gone to kill himself ?
it's gone VERY QUIET
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:13, Reply)

He could guilt trip his depressed wife for the rest of her life then !!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:13, Reply)

he's posting all over the place
are you on 2.0 again?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:14, Reply)

No, I'm far too witty and popular to be on anyones 2.0
apart from the sixty odd ignorers on this account
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:17, Reply)

2.0 is for pussies

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:18, Reply)

Internet upset is srs business

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:19, Reply)

i do enjoy a good bit of hypocritical keyboard bashing though

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:24, Reply)

I think most people do.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:25, Reply)

someone should start something
go on about tories or strippers/hookers or drugs or something
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:38, Reply)

went to do some work innit.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:22, Reply)

yeah yeah
how many times have we all fallen for that old chestnut
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:09, Reply)

More of an acorn, really

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:11, Reply)

Attn: Tango
Loop have reformed. This is jolly good news. Heaven's End is one of my favourite LPs from the 1980s.

One of their shows at the West Indian Club in Southampton gave my brother lifelong tinnitus and hearing damage. That was an excellent show. They were also very good indeed at a little shindig I went to down in the West Country. It was called The Treworgey Tree Fayre - I really should tell you all about it sometime.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:10, Reply)

i can imagine if i met you in a pub you would be the person who tries to talk to me far too long
about something i have no interest in
and i try to get away
but you just keep going
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:16, Reply)

Yeah like I'd go into a pub in Wales

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:17, Reply)

and i'm sure you have a series of fascinating anecdotes as way of explanation
for not going in a pub in wales
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:30, Reply)

I'm sure you have a series of fascinating half-hearted suicide attempts as a way of blubbing for attention

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:33, Reply)

in wales

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:33, Reply)

Suicide was last year - they're all about the measles this season.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:33, Reply)

SSG keeps it old skool

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:35, Reply)

i get it

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 12:42, Reply)

I wonder who got further in their cry for desperate much needed attention Hairpot or SSG?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:51, Reply)

i had pancreatic cancer was nobody paying attention?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 12:42, Reply)

I've only ever come out of one gig with hearing issues
I was informed afterwards that I was stood about 3 feet from the bass cab, "which would certainly explain it"

I still have no idea what the fuck that means.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:16, Reply)

Bass speaker innit
close up = high spl and hearing damage.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:19, Reply)

Not the best idea, then?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:21, Reply)

Not really
Proper concert rig chucks out higher sound levels than jet engines.
Roadies wear earplugs these days.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:31, Reply)

I just saw this over on the facebooks
Great band, although that prick James Endeacott once failed to sign my last band to Rough Trade after initially being very excited about us :(
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:19, Reply)

yet another pub band with three facebook followers aspiring to greater things

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:21, Reply)

This was in the days of the myspace revolution
And I'm sure we had four or five followers on there.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:30, Reply)

hahaha I mean :o(

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:22, Reply)

I saw them once I think
dunno, bands, fuck em.
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:25, Reply)

alright broadsword

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:15, Reply)

I prefer breasts.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:15, Reply)

Alright CQ, have you considered the open position of Battereds divorce wing man ? You know show him the ropes, assure him that banging a mid forties fat slag is a natural reaction to being dumped by his new wife ?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:18, Reply)

that Rory, I needed a lift this morning.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:21, Reply)

we should all pull together during these emotionally troubling times

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:22, Reply)

like a circle jerk?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:25, Reply)

uuurgh

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:26, Reply)

I'm not entirely sure if that was approval or not.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:33, Reply)

it's my cum noise

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:34, Reply)

it's rory, he get's less that you do.
of course it's approval.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:35, Reply)

You're right, I need to look at myself and my standards. You me and battered can check out that grab a granny night that you keep going on about

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:39, Reply)

no thanks, I'm taken.
but have fun.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:42, Reply)

No really, if you start taking your medications again you'll discover that the poor woman has been begging you to leave her alone

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:47, Reply)

Why would he need a circle?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:32, Reply)

Christ almighty. I ain't getting back on that horse for a long time.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:23, Reply)

Don't let your figure go battered, binge eating and drinking will really pile that weight on. You need to be ready for that new special woman in your life.

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:27, Reply)

Why, she could be reading this RIGHT NOW

( Theoban What of it, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:28, Reply)

ha ha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:29, Reply)

Stranger things have happened. Cavey for instance ...

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:31, Reply)

Are you over her yet or still struggling to come to terms with it?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:33, Reply)

our bitter breakup saddens me. it's for the best that she doesn't post here anymore

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:35, Reply)

she totally binned us when she got laid

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:37, Reply)

Used us and dumped us

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:39, Reply)

how quickly the sad, desperate and lonely forget, how quickly they forget.

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:39, Reply)

Unless he's killed her.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:42, Reply)

nah, she's still on face book occasionally and we're doing a LARP in a few months.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:42, Reply)

TELL HER THAT IM GALD FOR HER< AND IT WAS FOR THE BEST< AND I HOPE SHE HAS A BEAUTIFUL LIFE

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:48, Reply)

I reckon, right, this is how to sort it. I went on a Club 18-30 once and it was right laugh, this.
We have a "Boys v Girls" night out. The boys go out and watch a football game while doing pints of beer, whilst the girls go to a strip-club. They'll be games like "Who can down a pint of beer in the fast time period before the other people can down their pint of beer in the same time" and "Banana or Willy?".

Then, the two groups meet together in a club, where they'll be more games, like that one where you run aorund a broom really really fast and get dizzy and fall over. And at the end of the night, the very end, we finally determine who won the "Battle of the Boys vs Girls Competition".
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:30, Reply)

No shagging?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:33, Reply)

Of course not. This is Gonz we're talking about.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:34, Reply)

Do you have trouble sleeping on your own sofa (so far), or is it ok?

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:44, Reply)

Do you settee (settle) in for the night?

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:48, Reply)

Is your favorite football player Peter Couch (crouch) ?
Ok, that's all I've got.
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:48, Reply)

Suite yourself

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:55, Reply)

I don't think they can legally force you into doing that.
Just make you into a bit of a social pariah.
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:36, Reply)

It's well gay on here today.
Man the fuck up!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:21, Reply)

Fuck men up the bum you mean
har har har
( Theoban What of it, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:24, Reply)

There is nothing more manly
than sucking broadsword's shrivelled drunken winky.
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:31, Reply)

Is this confession Friday on b3ta?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:38, Reply)

Yes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:39, Reply)

Bring the comfy chair?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:40, Reply)

Well if it is it beats Chicken Thursday

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:41, Reply)

SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT CHICKEN THURSDAY
OH GOD DAMN IT
GOD DAMN EVERYTHING
( Theoban What of it, Fri 26 Apr 2013, 11:42, Reply)