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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Well this is good.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:10, 154 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
You don't actually believe people are working?
do you?
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:14, Reply)
I've just noticed that Battered has erased his painfully long and drawn out confession of the infideilty
that led to his wife kicking him out.

What a thread deleting tosser.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:15, Reply)
you know those big ugly dogs with bones that they chew over ceaselessly and relentlessly, until the slavering crunching noises make you want to kick them in the nuts?
well, do you?
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:16, Reply)
My brother in law has 2 Rhodesian Ridgebacks.
They are fucking massive dogs. Easily bigger than Battered. Who is getting divorced. For being unlivable with.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:17, Reply)
Shouldn't they be called Zimbabwean Ridgebacks now?

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:19, Reply)
Or dirty corrupt coon ridgebacks?

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:21, Reply)
i don't get really big dogs
my friend loves newfoundlands. urgh. great big hairy drooly red-eyed things.

i like dogs that are a sensible size, say miniature schnauzer or scottie dog size.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:22, Reply)
I love german shepherds
as long they're well trained.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:23, Reply)
If I'm ever forced into dog ownership, it will be a proper dog-sized dog.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:24, Reply)
this is no way to speak about your upcoming nuptials to OG

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:25, Reply)
You don't get Westwood?

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:32, Reply)
Oh man I missed it.
I bet you didn't even screenshot it :(
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:17, Reply)
I rather foolishly didn't

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:18, Reply)
You've let yourself down.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:18, Reply)
Thread deletion is worse than genocide.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:18, Reply)
He's alos gone very quiet about it
almost as if his wife had read this page (as she is wont to do on occasion) and then become even more upset with him for deciding to share not only such clearly personal information, but also an attack on her character, with a group of total strangers.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:21, Reply)
maybe you got trololololed?

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:23, Reply)
I did actually moot that suggestion in my original reply about it.
If that is the case, it's a pretty sad state of affairs.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:24, Reply)
we've seen a lot worse on here
fake cancertits, fake life, fake sisterfucking.... oh wait......
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:27, Reply)
Fake miscarriages and pregnancies...
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1942049
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:59, Reply)
I heard she created an account so she could click your picture.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:23, Reply)
Not total strangers, I've met him.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:24, Reply)
normally i totally agree
but my last thread was so dire that i might have no choice
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:22, Reply)
I'm outraged.
Some of my best work might be in that thread.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:23, Reply)
it's alright, i won't do it
thread deleting and 2.0 are for people who have failed at Life
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:25, Reply)
Oooh and a 'login not found' as well.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:15, Reply)
Sadly, I think it was.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:25, Reply)
:(

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:56, Reply)
Quieter than a nazi stake out in Anne Frank's house.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:16, Reply)
this reminds me of the FG episode where peter is eating crisps during the same

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:17, Reply)
Is it?
Only just got here, can't be arsed to check previous threads.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:19, Reply)
It's ok everyone - Bear Pookie is here now!

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:24, Reply)
You bent cunts are fucking hopeless without me eh.
Wankers.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:33, Reply)
By which I mean 'hi guys!!!'

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:36, Reply)
FFS

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:37, Reply)
None of them have recovered from my piece of cunning bullying regarding your newfound love of steampunk.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:40, Reply)
pparently he combines this with larping.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:42, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1947508
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:45, Reply)
I have to hand it to you that is jolly good

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:03, Reply)
SP

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:56, Reply)
I reckon battereds wife virtually forced him into having numerous extra marital affairs what with having her fanny torn to shreds birthing their child and not putting out after
thats just what I reckon, it might not be true or anything
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:40, Reply)
I reckon the frigid bitch should be grateful for the life she gets, what with him making so much money and being the trustee of a charity and all that.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:41, Reply)
he's got a high libido, it wasn't her fault that he had to fuck other men and women to basically stop himself raping her every night
b3ta.com/questions/nicethings/post265112
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:44, Reply)
It's nice of him to share this with the whole world.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:46, Reply)
I bet this was his alt login
b3ta.com/questions/bedroomdisasters/post1255156
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:49, Reply)
What a nice picture.
Happy place...happy place.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:43, Reply)
No it isn't.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:54, Reply)
No.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:58, Reply)
why what happened

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:56, Reply)
Oh man

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:58, Reply)
what did i miss

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:02, Reply)
Oh man
 
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:07, Reply)
this isnt helpful

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:21, Reply)
Al is practicing for his relationship councilling GNVQ

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:59, Reply)
I'm sure I'm being trolled on the phone at work.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:58, Reply)
you must be upset

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:00, Reply)
Terribly.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:01, Reply)
Somebody's retiring, today.
Been here six years and I haven't the faintest idea who she is.

Top not-giving-a-shitting, Kroney.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:05, Reply)
Wow a female at your workplace
You haven’t slept with
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:07, Reply)
Because she's like, sixty, or something.
Got to leave something for Stunned, in'I?
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:08, Reply)
tee hee
I thought most people left him a bucket
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:10, Reply)
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN HIS GIRLFRIEND !!!!

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:12, Reply)
Did some cunt try to sting you for a contribution towards a leaving gift?

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:07, Reply)
I expect you still signed the card, and forgot to put any money in the envelope.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:08, Reply)
No, I said "I don't know who that is"
and passed the whole lot along.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:08, Reply)
Your leaving day is going to be rather lonely Kroney.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:09, Reply)
The quieter, the better, really.
I find all the leaving speeches etc excruciating.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:11, Reply)
I think the best thing to do is just not turn up and eventually the cheques stop.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:16, Reply)
They're taking photos.
The flash is annoying. As is the bent clapping. Just boot the old bitch out the door, already.

Out to pasture and a shotty shell behind the barn.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:14, Reply)
I don't mind if there's a bit of free food or some booze or summat.
We had a couple of long-termers go from here a few years back and there was quite a decent spread.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:23, Reply)
Don't get nuffink like that, here.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:26, Reply)
Damn it, have I missed something juicy?

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:14, Reply)
battereds second flounce isn't far off, the amount of stuff hes posting and delelting *taps head, makes cuckoo gesture~

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:16, Reply)
He's already gone.
Profile has been deleted.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:18, Reply)
Nah, he's still there.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:22, Reply)
Yep.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:27, Reply)
Have you thought about buying some Yop ? I was once feeling down'n'out, but then I had some yop (strawberry) and it wasn't so bad anymore.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:31, Reply)
I suggested that once and he told me I was mentally ill.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:34, Reply)
Not yet it hasn't
but it can't be far off. I imagine his wife is bust screen capping everything she can find for the divorce courts and he's no longer being allowed access to his child.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:23, Reply)

i '
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:30, Reply)
*wipes screen*
oh, that's a '.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:33, Reply)
I don't see the point in him having deleted the thread where he told the internet that he's been kicked out. Also I'm insulted by his profile, how dare he
b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=90123
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:23, Reply)
Probably because it also said "I can't believe she tried to blackmail me by threatening to take my kid to Scotland"
and "She's not the person I married anymore" and "She's suffering from post natal depression but won't do anything about it"

All of which I can imagine not looking great from his wifes point of view.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:26, Reply)
I'm pretty certain he's posted that his wife reads beater. That weren't clever stuff. Shes mental but she doesn't know it. Ummmm ok

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:29, Reply)
I wasn't impressed, I can tell you.
And frankly, I'm fed up with him going off to Poland all the time.

I have a hell of a job washing those barbecue sauce stains out of his shirts and off his lucky hammer whenever he gets back.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:34, Reply)
Lol

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:34, Reply)
lmao

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:36, Reply)
hang on
are you laughing at your own jokes, here?

rather poor form, roarface old chap.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:44, Reply)
Titter

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:42, Reply)
Bloody tell me about.
Always looking at other women's tits he is.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:47, Reply)
Ha ha

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:48, Reply)
11,000 followers!

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:51, Reply)
WTF?
He's got a wife in the UK as well?

Bastard.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:51, Reply)
haha

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:52, Reply)
You should divorce the cunt.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:52, Reply)
I'm waiting for the police to get hold of him.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:54, Reply)
Here here!

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:55, Reply)
Ha ha ha

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:55, Reply)
Can I count this as a referral and get some cash back?

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:56, Reply)
Cash...er....back?
*googles*
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:58, Reply)
Not it hasn't.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:26, Reply)
needs MOAR burritos

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:42, Reply)
HEY AL! *jumps up and down*
*waves* I forget which one was Battered, Did he bring salt beef sarnies to a bash?
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:54, Reply)
Little guy, probably drunk, might've offered you money for sex.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:56, Reply)
*takes notes*

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:56, Reply)
oh man that doesn't narrow it down at all at an Off Topic bash :(

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:57, Reply)
Fucking hell it's badger!

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:56, Reply)
WOOOOOOOOOOOOO HEY PA!

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:57, Reply)
HEY BADGER!
I'm just nipping out for a smoke with yer ma.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:58, Reply)
Give her squishy hugs from me!

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:59, Reply)
Delivered.
Mildew sends licks.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:09, Reply)
SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURPPPPP
Everyone can thank me later for raising the content of OT to this amazing level.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:11, Reply)
She's going a bit batty, bless her.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:12, Reply)
Ma or the dog?

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:16, Reply)
The dog.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:20, Reply)
What a horrid euphemism.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:03, Reply)
Good lord its that woman
Hows tricks, best of all the badger-based usernames?
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:00, Reply)
Fine thanks whatever your username used to be.
Kudos on the hair shaving btw
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:01, Reply)
Ta
I'll be back to Light in Chains at the end of the week.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:09, Reply)
Hi Badger
How are you?
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:04, Reply)
I'm very well thank you.
Although sad I appear to have missed MOAR SCANDAL on here :(
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:06, Reply)
*GLESS*

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:08, Reply)
yeah you love it you slag

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:08, Reply)
I sure do.
How are you and your charming fella?
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:11, Reply)
We are both fine thank you. If you're good we may invite you and your sexy lady to our housewarming party in June sometime
So you can start thinking of lame ass excuses now as to why you don't want to come :(
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:15, Reply)
If you invite me, I'll begin readying the baby to be sick so we can't attend.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:17, Reply)
Your BFF is loads nicer than you :(

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:18, Reply)
In fairness, Josef Mengele is nicer than Al.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:19, Reply)
Even Battered is nicer than me
and he's a philandering, brain disabled, alcoholic dwarf with control issues.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:22, Reply)
My BFF is such a wonderful person I can't believe she chooses to hang around with me.
Also, I've been giving you hundreds of snake eggs, but I hardly get any in return, what's that all about?
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:21, Reply)
I give you loads!
I drew some boobs in your springfeild the other day. I have some more I'll throw your way later
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:26, Reply)
I almost ran out of room to put more eggs on yours the other day

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:28, Reply)
Is 'we would come because we're doing nothing that night, but I'm afraid we hate you, soz', good enough

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:18, Reply)
I'm kinda hoping everyone says that so I can drink all the wine

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:19, Reply)
...alone, in tears.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:20, Reply)
of joy that I don't have to make small talk with people I only tolerate because they have sexy girlfriends

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:21, Reply)
That really is the only reason we hang around with him isn't it.
That and he sometimes brings brandy.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:22, Reply)
Not these days I don't.
I'm such an epic mine sweeper I actually got offered a Royal Navy contract.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:24, Reply)
I'll have to bring some brandy of my own next time to repay the favour.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:28, Reply)
You won't find me trying to dissuade you from this course of action

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:35, Reply)
I don't like brandy, so it was totally the lusty thing

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:28, Reply)
Sorry I read this as 'I'm a massive fucking homo who can't handle the Emperor of Spirits'

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:36, Reply)
I read this as "Help! I'm falling into a giant vagina!"

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:40, Reply)
"tell my mum I love herrrrrrrrr.....'

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:41, Reply)
Nah that was BrianHequator, late of this parish

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:14, Reply)
They were good sandwiches.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:16, Reply)
He's a lovely fellow.
Mind you if Fred West gave me a sandwich I'd think the same. Shallow as fuck, me.
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:18, Reply)
lol her name is a fruit
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-stoke-staffordshire-22338876
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:58, Reply)
banana
banana banana banana
(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:00, Reply)
She should have done a runner, a banana split you might say.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:01, Reply)
Orange you ashamed you posted that?

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:10, Reply)
Jesus, Lighty...

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:11, Reply)
Apple fuck off the lot of you.

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:12, Reply)
cumquat shut up Lighty

(, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:13, Reply)

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