Hey! Who is going to Asparafest this weekend?
www.asparafest.co.uk/

Alt: Why does my wee smell funny?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:41, 118 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

oh you

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:41, Reply)

Alt: 'cause it's taking the piss?

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:43, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1975342
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:44, Reply)

\o/

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:44, Reply)

i never believed in asparagus wee
because it doesn't happen to me. but then i saw austin powers, and thought, hmmm. also, a friend served it at a marquee wedding, with outdoor toilets, and yeah. then i noticed it.

apparently it's a certain protein that a few people don't make. but then later research suggests that we do make it - but just lack the ability to SMELL it. fucking horrors. what other smells might you be making and not be able to smell?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:45, Reply)

It's best you don't know.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:45, Reply)

i was at a bbq on sat
the general consensus amongst the blokes was that they all love a good bit of strong asparagus wee and are proud of themselves.

blokes are rank.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:47, Reply)

See also:
Beetroot pink piss
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:48, Reply)

Do you know any nice people?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:48, Reply)

*looks around*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:48, Reply)

the girls were lovely

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:52, Reply)

OK Katy Perry

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:57, Reply)

Speaking as a decently brought up individual
I don't make small talk about the way my piss smells.

Hope this helps.
( Kroney, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:54, Reply)

It's a serious subject that deserves proper attention.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:56, Reply)

hmmm

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:57, Reply)

Silly Cavy, that's what the post-piss waggle is for.It's just that sometimes the dribble comes after the waggle, which is where the trouble starts.

(Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Tue 19 Feb 2013, 16:57, 2 Replies)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:58, Reply)

not sure this is ANY better than talking about the smell, in all fairness

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:58, Reply)

This is why he doesn't talk about wee smells

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:59, Reply)

why, because the image of him doing the "post piss waggle"
is so much worse?

he's right. it really really really is :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:00, Reply)

That's a logistical statement about a loosely related function.
If it's any comfort to you, I'm also capable of conversing on how females can pull back their flaps to allow upright urination, though I'd never talk about how it smells because this would be a BRIDGE TOO FAR.
( Kroney, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:06, Reply)

it goes to show that either you were dragged up by filthy gyppos
or your mother would be horrified at your conversation.

which is it, eh?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:09, Reply)

I refuse to have my upbringing criticised by a Scouser.

( Kroney, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:11, Reply)

A biffin bridge, presumably?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:12, Reply)

well I think the answer to this is for us b3ta users to post you jars of piss anonymously
before and after asparagus
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:10, Reply)

Way ahead of you there, gluey.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:17, Reply)

Looks shit.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:47, Reply)

I'm actually going to see one of the bands tomorrow night.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:48, Reply)

well
at the risk of exposing myself as a saddo, I would thoroughly enjoy that. Think King thingy played in our pub.........
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:50, Reply)

Never mind that shit.
I bought an old Legnano bike frame and forks for my summer project.
( Peej, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:53, Reply)

Wont it come to pieces when you ride it?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:54, Reply)

Why?

( Peej, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:58, Reply)

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:58, Reply)

You of all people should respect the bike
and not make quite frankly shit jokes
( Peej, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:59, Reply)

Why would I respect the bike?
Mine is stuck in the back garden with a flat tyre at the moment
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:00, Reply)

This is terrible news
And shows little respect for the bike
( Peej, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:01, Reply)

It does indeed
In my defence it is a shit bike and I need a new one. This is just helping things along
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:03, Reply)

www.b3tards.com/u/98480917b02b1414508e/frame.jpg
( Peej, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:00, Reply)

LOOK AT MY NEW BIKE DAMMIT

( Peej, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:23, Reply)

It doesn't even have any wheels or handlebars.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:24, Reply)

Pah, conformist

( Peej, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:31, Reply)

Are you some kind of ultra-hipster?
Fixie too modern and complicated?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:39, Reply)

Fixies are stupid

( Peej, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:48, Reply)

now hang on
shit jokes are sporty's THING. they are what he does.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:00, Reply)

THIS^
hang on....
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:01, Reply)

You seem to have it in for Athletic Bovine today

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:01, Reply)

i'm equally mean to everyone

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:02, Reply)

*runs off*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:02, Reply)

I'm proper upset

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:03, Reply)

Any time now B3th should be here so you can report her

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:04, Reply)

*calls waaaaaaambulance*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:04, Reply)

i don't have a waaaaaahmbulance key on my keyboard
i think it's called "delete" on these older models?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:09, Reply)

Deleting is well lol

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:19, Reply)

Somebody I don't like has posted in a subthread that I posted in somewhere
and I don't want them to ;_;
( Kroney, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:20, Reply)

I deleted a whole thread the other day and, while I was a little nervous about doing it at first, I was thrilled by the rush of exhilaration that followed it.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:22, Reply)

silly tangles
that's not how you do a thread rush
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:05, Reply)

I don't know about thread rush, but it certainly made all the blood rush to my penis.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:07, Reply)

maybe you should delete that too?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:08, Reply)

I should probably delete my account and kill myself.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:10, Reply)

well, you are King of the Internet, and OWN ALL TEH THINGZ

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:05, Reply)

I GET THIS

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:00, Reply)

And you've kept this exciting news hidden in this thread instead of starting a new one with it???

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:58, Reply)

I'll start a new thread about it when the stomping calms down
news like this deserves respect
( Peej, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:59, Reply)

Have we figured out Michael Biehn is yet?
Can i put a bet on Quentin? I miss that little scamp.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 28 May 2013, 13:16, Reply)

Every so often he is a bit funny and reminds me of Quentin

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:18, Reply)

yeah, I miss the laughter

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 28 May 2013, 13:25, Reply)

it's al

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:06, Reply)

Oh crap,
I think my cold is actually hay fever. I don't usually get hay fever.

My body is slowly becoming weak and feeble like the rest of you allergy-ridden lepers.
( Kroney, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:25, Reply)

Hay fever
(and yes I am very late to this thread I have been working) will be very bad this year with the cold spring meaning that lots of different pollens that would normally be spread out through the year all coming at once (the Bukkake of pollen as it were)

In other news how shit do you have to be to be taken out by pollen FFS
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:59, Reply)

well, Tangles,
this thread has been a success so far, where will this rollercoaster go next?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 28 May 2013, 13:31, Reply)

Yet if I delete the thread, everyone will be up in arms about it.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:32, Reply)

I'm amazed that more people didn't want to talk about asparagus.
Even more so at the lack of responses about smelly wee.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:32, Reply)

did you see that woman that got mauled by that tiger,
i like that her boss has come out and just said "yeah, it was her fault"
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 28 May 2013, 13:35, Reply)

I think when they said she shouldn't piss about in the tiger enclosure, it was probably for this reason.
I mean, I'm no expert in these matters...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:37, Reply)

well, i'd have said rule 1 of tigers is stay away, preferably at least a fence away, from the pointy and fangy end.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 28 May 2013, 13:41, Reply)

It says almost exactly that in "Jungle Book"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:43, Reply)

According to news I read the tiger was in a "staff area" when it attacked her
Sounds like someone somewhere left a gate open they shouldn't have, or some safety interlock failed.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:42, Reply)

That's what they're saying now.
Looks like the tiger got loose and dragged her back into his pen. It first looked like she just walked into the tiger enclosure.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:43, Reply)

I fucking love aspagous, it's one of my favorite veg in the world.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:37, Reply)

I ate some last night.
True story.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:37, Reply)

Not sure I want to go to an asparagus festival though

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:38, Reply)

are there different types of asparagus?
actually, half way through typing that, i realised i really really don't care.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 28 May 2013, 13:42, Reply)

Let's forget about all this asparagus nonsense.
How are things with you, doubleyoupee?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:44, Reply)

sorry this lacks apsparagus chat and it therefore rubbish

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:02, Reply)

I'm not sure Asparagus Tuesday is really going to get off the ground.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:04, Reply)

In fact, I think people only replied in the first place because they thought it was a thread about Aspergers

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:05, Reply)

Top Tip

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:05, Reply)

I for one and am for this.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:19, Reply)

I've just spent 30 mins on the phone with a PDQ IT guy, i think his name was Steve, but i wasn't really listening,
and he seems to not have done anything particularly helpful.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 28 May 2013, 14:35, Reply)

That was Kroney.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:41, Reply)

really? didnae sound very french.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 28 May 2013, 14:44, Reply)

Two main types m8
English which is green and French which is white - however the difference is in how it's grown rather than the plant itself.

The French cover theirs so it grows in the dark hence its anaemic appearance.

It's crazy!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:01, Reply)

This is known as the asparagus spectrum

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:12, Reply)

Can't have been a bad night then.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:16, Reply)

Asparagus risotto is delicious
As a starter obvs, needs meat to be a main course.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 May 2013, 13:52, Reply)

only two statements here
and yet 100% wrong

that's quite the achievement
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:08, Reply)

I do a delicious english-muffin/aspagous/poached-egg/alloli (or bernaze/holiendaze, doens't make too much of a difference) all in the microwave.
I wonder if you could make a sort of veggy scotch egg using aspagous.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:18, Reply)

FFS

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:21, Reply)

what?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:28, Reply)

it's well shit in here today
i've not been in and I've not missed anything y the looks of things
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:32, Reply)

You've missed me getting hay fever.

( Kroney, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:33, Reply)

etting h
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:36, Reply)

Nice one, Al.

( Kroney, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:41, Reply)

don't stress, I've done a new thread.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 28 May 2013, 14:45, Reply)