Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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How good is your memory?When was the last night out you had with friends that you'll talk about for years to come instead of going "member when we weren't dull and shit that time with the MASSIVE DRUGS and the hoover snout and we thought we were in Neo Tokyo cause we was so FUCKED? 'member?"
Alt: Which of you 'members' has the most memes?
Altalt: Let's talk about sport. That's always fun. Except cricket, which is neither a sport nor fun
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 11:30,
127 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
We should stop being so short with him(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 11:35,
Reply)
I like it when he does the Paul McCartney 'OOOOOH!' head-waggle.. ..whilst he's dancing.
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 11:38,
Reply)
That's an epileptic fit, you heartless bastard(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 11:40,
Reply)
I think the most fucked I've ever been was at the V festival in 2001Alt:
As a Paki/Northern Monkey/boozehound/whatever else I feel I've got off lightly
AltAlt:
Football close season innit. Nowt going on
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 11:35,
Reply)
altalt: a brief and wonderful respite from the overpaid spitting oafs of the "beautiful" game(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 11:36,
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Alt: The Sheffield oven glove guy who chops people's heads off(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 11:35,
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excellent, i have a stupidly photographic memoryit's annoying when i'll say to friends "remember this" and they all stare at me blankly. battered gets nil points for saying "an elephant never forgets".
alt: i've gone from queen of the sweatyhanded pandering to mad-haired cat-free spinster on this place.
altalt: no.
but a colleague just super-generously gave me a voucher for £150 on amazon for helping him with a legal issue. what should i buy?????????
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 11:38,
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pffffffffffffffftlike you could get a decent cut and colour for even twice that!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 11:42,
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As someone who has grey hair cut to a grade 2, I am not exactly au fait with how much haircuts cost as opposed to barbers. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 11:46,
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I've moved down to a grade 4(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 11:48,
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haha(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:19,
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i've found a geezer to do mine for £25 and he does it well(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:01,
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I've never had my hair cut by a man, it don't seem right to me/ac
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:01,
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yeah but at this place a pretty girl from Estonia/Poland/Lativia with large brests washes my hiar and gives me a head massage(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:05,
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£16.50, yesterday - first one since September.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:06,
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£8 whenever I get too fucked off with it flopping everywhere(
Kroney, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:06,
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I thought your hiar was all stuck up like "Guile"(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:07,
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Yeah and there comes a point when it starts flopping over like Shamu's dorsal fin.(
Kroney, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:09,
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£6 at the place around the corner from mine for a grade 1.5and he did my eyebrows too which were getting a bit Dennis Healey-esque.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:13,
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you're paying £300 for a cut and colour?Fucking hell, they saw you coming.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:21,
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Alt: I am supposed to be a short, angry, alcoholic, prostitute murdering, divorcee.Not all of these are correct.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 11:38,
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Really? I wasn't aware of this.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 11:42,
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It's just a shirt on you LOOKS like a dress, that's all(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 11:45,
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it used to be transexual prossies that you frequented(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 11:53,
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Alt: I'm the quiet, enigmatic one that all the chicks want to be with and the boys want to bewith
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 11:43,
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Everynight is like that when you are with Stunned! Alt: I am none the of the memes I am supposed to be on here.
(, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 11:49, Reply)
My meme is that I'm the best one here, pretty accurate I reckon(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 11:52,
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^ validation ^edit: yesterday you called me a horrid man, I'm not sure I can deal with you running hot and cold like this
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 11:53,
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i was it's trueBut he's big enough to look after himself.
I even wished him happy birthday on gaz WITH 2 kisses and got no reply.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:14,
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No you didn't. Until today. TWO DAYS LATE.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:18,
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Classic abuser technique from Stunned hereThe more he hurts you, the more you want him.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:15,
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My birthdya just gone was pretty great.Although when she says "remember this?" I'll say "no", because I get bad booze blackouts.
Alt: Well, I'm a French, a fucker of frozen shit and a wearer of shit cardigans. In real life I'm OT's answer to Sexface.
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Kroney, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 11:58,
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36th was it?I can forget stuff after just 4 pints and when completely smashed I won't remember anything.
Apparently your brain becomes incapable of actually forming memories, so you haven't technically forgotten.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:04,
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33rd, you rotter :(Apparently she fell over her suitcase and badly hurt her foot. I couldn't stop laughing. I've pleaded innocence based on reduced capacity and also the "I don't remember so you're lying" redoubt.
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Kroney, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:05,
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if you can't remember it, it didn't happen, FACT(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:06,
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Correct.I have no recollection of the so-called 'Holocaust'.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:07,
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It's a fair cop on the falling over in the streets and I didn't help because chips accusations, though.I remember that. I stand by my actions. I also got on one of the lions and mocked her when she couldn't.
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Kroney, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:08,
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Not very good at this 'drinking' lark, are you?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:09,
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picking non retarded flatmates
being English
washing
fighting your own wars
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:12,
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Sorry Monty, things got a bit wild. A bit crazy.A bit...whacky.
If it's any comfort I am already back to wearing cardigans and complaining about how modern music is just noise.
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Kroney, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:15,
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No, it's called state dependant memoryIn order to recall the memories you have to get smashed again.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:05,
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I got a litre of gin at the airport for 11E...it won't end well(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:06,
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They had a litre of Gordon's for £15 for ages in Morrison'sGood times.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:09,
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Even I would venture into that coven of cretins for a deal like thatthis was Beefeater, nom
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:11,
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'member Wet Ham Man? 'member?What was his meme again?
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 11:59,
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What about his habit of moistening the leg meat of pigs?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:13,
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Picture this, we were both caught moistening ham on the kitchen floor(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 13:04,
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Pay attention cricketeers. ^ This guy gets it ^(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 13:30,
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My memory is shitI'm hoping to have such a night this Saturday. At a navy ball, kilt on and a free bar.
Alt: Probably Batts I would think.
AltAlt: If you're excluding cricket from a discussion on sport, then you're either a) retarded or b) never stood with a bat in your hand while a gentleman propels a leather ball at your head at 80mph.
(, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:09, Reply)
Rev, mate, you'll like thisApparently this David Warner stuff kicked off, Root was accompanied in the bar by Stuart Broad and Steven Finn. So Warner may be a twat, but not a suicidal twat.
(, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:15, Reply)
Oh come onThey might look big, but Broad and Finn would be as handy in a scuffle as my gran. And she's been dead for 18 months.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:19,
Reply)
According to Wikipedia...Finn 6ft 7in, Broad 6ft 5in, Root 6ft
Warner 5ft 7in. Oh dear. Small man syndrome. When will these short-arses learn their place?
(, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:25, Reply)
Root might be 6'but he's still 12.
And his brother looks about 8.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:41,
Reply)
Cos he picked on the shortest one?Still not very smart, when he's got a big tall bloke either side of him. Silly twat probably fancies getting sent home so he can avoid the inevitable Ashes pummeling.
(, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:22, Reply)
There's a lot of chat on the BBC live text about how it's not very English to look forward to giving the opposition a good kickingor, similarly, that we shouldn't gloat if we murder them.
These people have got to be fucking kidding.
(, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:35, Reply)
You know what else is quintessentially English?Getting battered at cricket by Australia, who then gloat like fuck.
Englishness can fuck right off, if the Ashes go as everyone predicts I'm going to spend my summer being most ungentlemanly and loving every second of it.
(, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:38, Reply)
I'm planning on chartering a small plane to fly over Sydney towing a bannerthat just says "fuck you all"
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:40,
Reply)
If we all chip in maybe we can charter a BIG plane with A FUCKING HUGE banner(, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:45, Reply)
Or we could just buy SydneyAnd build a giant CDC in the harbour?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:47,
Reply)
the bridge could form part of one testicle(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 13:04,
Reply)
Nah, just wrap the bridge in pink taffeta (that Christo bloke could do it), and paint the Opera House roof pinkJob done, and the traffic spilling out of the end can be the semen on the pants of humanity.
(, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 13:13, Reply)
I have tickets to the Sunday of the first test \o/(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:44,
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A gentlemans leathery balls have no business going at that speed towards your headUnless Darth is giving you your morning gargle.
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:59,
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I don't have any memesOh except for ovenglovefucking/wifewon'tfuckhim/kidshavecartoonnames/dadsuicide
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Peej, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:35,
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WRONG it’s the "Cornish Liberarion & Independence Team"
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 13:13,
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*nose/points*(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 13:18,
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Does anyone else find that silk pocket squares are stupidly expensive?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:58,
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Nah, they're really cheap in my local silk pocket square shop(
Peej, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 12:59,
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+ a bent spastic
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 13:10,
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I hear that in the markets of Marrakesh You can pick up a dozen for less than £2(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 13:09,
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I looked hard, but they didn't have them(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 13:09,
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If you looked where all the sunglasses were they sell them there for cleaning lenses(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 13:19,
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Pure silk in a variety of patterns and colours(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 13:21,
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I've had a few memes but fortunately none of them seem to stickprobably because I don't post that much. There's a lesson there for us all.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 13:04,
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You're a beardy, long haired John Lennon lookalike nonce aren't you?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 13:06,
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He's shaved his hair offHe looks like that guy from Breaking Bad now.
In fact, he and Battered should do a tribute act, or something.
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Kroney, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 13:17,
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I've not watched that, so don't understand the reference. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Jun 2013, 13:22,
Reply)
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