Off Topic
Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest,
836,
835,
834,
833,
832, ...
1
« Go Back |
Popular
When does old age take over from middle age?
(
Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:32,
146 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
When you start dressing like Kroney
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:34,
Reply)
lol
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:36,
Reply)
Fucking hell is found this on this site and it is suitable for work
www.arrse.co.uk/naafi-bar/179851-auld-yin-he-bumlicking-slimy-cunt-13.html
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:41,
Reply)
On a Thursday.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:37,
Reply)
Fuck tomorrow?
Can I borrow a cardigan?
(
Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:39,
Reply)
Buy one from a Welsh internet auction site.
CardiganBay
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:40,
Reply)
L
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:50,
Reply)
T
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:50,
Reply)
I
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:50,
Reply)
When you start asking stupid questions like this.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:38,
Reply)
Hello dear.
(
Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:40,
Reply)
Alright Pooks
Done any racisting today?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:41,
Reply)
Not today,
This is homophobic Wednesday, you tunnel tester.
(
Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:47,
Reply)
I'll tell you who's got the right ideas
That Richard Littlejohn
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:49,
Reply)
mr b3th is knocking on the door of seventy
and is just about starting to think of himself as old.
I'm more concerned that, as I turn forty this year, I now have to consider that I might be middle aged.
Actually, there's not much of a 'might' about it. Cheers mate, that's brought me right down now.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:40,
Reply)
You are probably more than half way through your life now
Hope this helps.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:40,
Reply)
If it wasn't for my lolmeds
I might be three quarters of the way through my life.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:41,
Reply)
life pie
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:42,
Reply)
The Life of Pie on /offtopic is approx 3.14 mins
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:47,
Reply)
Does it matter what type of pie it is?
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:48,
Reply)
Salad pie doesn't really cut it
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:48,
Reply)
Hairy fish pie.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:49,
Reply)
For Cods sake
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:49,
Reply)
i was idly eyeing up the cheese and onion pies in EAT today
900 cals and 60 grams of fat for one pie?
wtf?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:52,
Reply)
I think the clue may be in the word "cheese"
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:53,
Reply)
and "pie"
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:53,
Reply)
Pie in 'not healthy' shocker.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:53,
Reply)
*drops monocle*
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:53,
Reply)
+ into pie.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:54,
Reply)
*eats monocle*
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:55,
Reply)
You're eating a one-eyed pie?
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:57,
Reply)
It does keep winking at me, yes
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:58,
Reply)
You better hope it don't spit
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:01,
Reply)
i never eat pies as i don't really like them
but i just fancied a piece of cheese and onion goodness today.
i have decided to go with a mushroom cup-a-soup instead. go me.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:56,
Reply)
Ham and pease pudding sammich
N to the O to the M
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:57,
Reply)
WTF is pease pudding?
apart from in the pot, 9 days old?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:58,
Reply)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pease_pudding
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:59,
Reply)
so basically houmous then
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:00,
Reply)
Thanks "Peter Mandleson"
Err, not like houmous at all. Split lentils and peas cooked with a ham
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:03,
Reply)
I'm guessing it's made with
whippets, coal and despair.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:01,
Reply)
No, that's our regional drink
WCD
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:04,
Reply)
Add in a bit of work men's club comedy
And you've got WCD Blue.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:04,
Reply)
That's loser's talk, that.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:59,
Reply)
I see your mushroom cup a soup
and raise you my broccoli and cauliflower cup a soup, which is evidently better.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:03,
Reply)
I never 'got' pies, always thinking they're a bit shit.
until I had the pies from
social.marksandspencer.com/food-drink/its-deli-cious/ and I swear man they're fucking stunning.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:01,
Reply)
What about fruit pies?
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:15,
Reply)
Ask Darth
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:16,
Reply)
probably at the point where you take betting advice from off topic
(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:41,
Reply)
Off topic is full of useful advice and tips
on how not to do things.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:42,
Reply)
Like 'live your life'
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:43,
Reply)
The last time I suggested a horse a few people backed it - and thankfully, it come in.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:42,
Reply)
ok i'll put a fiver on it now
(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:43,
Reply)
Mark Phillips regretted that
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:46,
Reply)
Moving from beer to wine
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:42,
Reply)
Surely that's more of an indication of a sex change?
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:42,
Reply)
Look b3th, if you want it up the shitpipe just ask, OK?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:45,
Reply)
You disgust me.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:47,
Reply)
Just turn over OK?
This wont take long
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:48,
Reply)
So I've heard.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:48,
Reply)
As a McScot, you'll be tighter than a gnat's chuff
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:49,
Reply)
As opposed to the more preferable
'arse like a wizard's sleeve'?
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:50,
Reply)
floppyaubergine
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:51,
Reply)
oboejean?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:51,
Reply)
I heard your dick smells like come on bear.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:52,
Reply)
Just the polar opposite
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:53,
Reply)
Are you pandaing
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:55,
Reply)
I enjoy both.
(
Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:45,
Reply)
Pervert
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:46,
Reply)
When middle age decides to go to sleep under a tree.
(
PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:44,
Reply)
That's a lovely simile
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:46,
Reply)
:o)
Oh simile....
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:47,
Reply)
30 is old age.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:53,
Reply)
Fucking whippersnapper.
(
Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:56,
Reply)
^this
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:56,
Reply)
I'm gonna be 26 in a few weeks.
I'm getting old.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:57,
Reply)
Fucks sake
I've got older t-shirts
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:58,
Reply)
I own a jumper I bought in Paris when I was 19.
I think that's my oldest clothing. Twenty years, and it still fits me.
I was already a fatty when i was a teenager, mind.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:02,
Reply)
I have a tshirt from a 1981 gig.
Beat that OT.
(
Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:07,
Reply)
I have a job
/ac
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:11,
Reply)
*points and laughs*
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:39,
Reply)
It can't be.
I've not had my mid life crisis yet.
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:58,
Reply)
hahaha
come back in 10 years and mock yourself for saying that...
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:01,
Reply)
I'm not being serious here swipe,
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:26,
Reply)
Good good.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:39,
Reply)
i know what i meant to ask you lot
hairdressers at weekend, and infuriatingly i'd left my book at home. so i had to read "tatler". and found that.....
you can actually buy pills to swallow, to make your shit gold and sparkly. so i guess now you can polish a turd.
but WHO THE FUCK WOULD EVER EVER EVER DO THAT?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:58,
Reply)
I'll take a wager at rachelswipe
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 13:58,
Reply)
^^this
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:01,
Reply)
yeah, 'cause i need it
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:01,
Reply)
I don't imagine anybody 'needs' it.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:04,
Reply)
Why did the baker have brown hands?
Because he kneaded a poo!
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:06,
Reply)
Whicj artist has a brown finger?
Picasso.
(
Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:08,
Reply)
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:10,
Reply)
As a lawyer, presumably you would be able to charge for it?
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:06,
Reply)
More importantly
has anybody seen the remote for my ipad speaker dock? I'm sure it was on my desk the last time I used it.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:06,
Reply)
Check under your tits.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:06,
Reply)
Well, I've found a small colony of nomads
but no remote control.
I suppose I'd better get off my arse and go turn it off myself.
*fetches winch*
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:08,
Reply)
Which fold?
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:08,
Reply)
DD
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:14,
Reply)
Have you had a look next to the dock?
Ladypig seems to think remote controls should be kept next to the item it is for, therefore making the remote kind of pointless.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:31,
Reply)
Isn't the point that you can pick it up as you switch the item on?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:32,
Reply)
No. Because you use the remote to switch the item on.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:33,
Reply)
Why not turn the thing on with the remote kept by your comfy seat?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:34,
Reply)
EXACTLY!
Mrs pig is fucking moron.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:34,
Reply)
no offence like
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:36,
Reply)
It's alright, I agree.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:38,
Reply)
I took to hiding remotes behind sofa cushions
to stop various halfwits putting them on the telly stand.
(
Kroney, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:40,
Reply)
How far away is this telly stand?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:44,
Reply)
Once you've sat down, it might as well be on the moon.
(
Kroney, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:46,
Reply)
on ulin Rouge
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:50,
Reply)
STOP KILLING THE ENVIRONMENT BY LEAVING THINGS ON STANDBY
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:38,
Reply)
Because standby no longer utilises any power.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:39,
Reply)
He means "leaving things on standby kills the environment"
but has phrased it atrociously.
(
Kroney, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:41,
Reply)
Yes I know, it's perfecetly clear the way he phrased it.
I'm stating that it's no longer true.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:42,
Reply)
Really?
Do they no longer use power? I actually didn't know that.
(
Kroney, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:45,
Reply)
Milliwatts on most modern devices, if that.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:46,
Reply)
I'd like to see some evidence to back up this claim
I'm not saying Al is a big fat liar.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:46,
Reply)
not big fat liar cunt
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:48,
Reply)
He's wrong,
but new standby modes on goods are designed to be tiny amounts of power.
(
PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:48,
Reply)
How do these tiny amounts of power scale up when you consider the number of devices in the average home now and multiply it by the population?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:50,
Reply)
They scale up your cock
now fuck off an make a cup of tea.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:51,
Reply)
There will be someone along in a minute to make me a disappointing cup of tea.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:52,
Reply)
I might make a cup of coffee.
To compensate for the fact that my air conditioner is making a racket and the room is now almost chilly.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:54,
Reply)
i'm very glad i have a female trainee this time around
so we agree that the room needs to be nice and toasty at all times. you big hairy men always want it to be freeeeeezing cold.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 15:01,
Reply)
My office has never been less than about 20 degrees even in the middle of winter.
I was coming to work in a ski jacket and then working all day in a T-Shirt.
This building makes no sense.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 15:03,
Reply)
this building is good as i have my own air con in my office
but the previous firm was open plan. people around the edges under the vents froze; people in the middle boiled.
stupid.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 15:07,
Reply)
i'm sat outside on the grass in the sun
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 15:09,
Reply)
Thanks for voting for reply 1995270!
Close Window
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:52,
Reply)
OH I WASN'T LITERALLY MEANING NO POWER GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU THOUGHT THAT
I MEANT THAT THE GENERAL POPULATION KNOWS THAT ITS NOTHING TO GET UPSET ABOUT AND ANYWAY ITS ABOUT BENDERS AND MARRIED PEOPLE SO THEY DONT COUNT AS NORMAL DO THEY.
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:52,
Reply)
I TOLD YOU IT WAS AN EMOTIVE ISSUE
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:52,
Reply)
I WAS SHOUTING THERE WAS NO TIME TO PHRASE IT BETTER
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:43,
Reply)
IT MADE PERFECT SENSE NOW CALM DOWN!
(
Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:44,
Reply)
ITS AN EMOTIVE SUBJECT
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 14:45,
Reply)
GWAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHNNNNUUUUUUUUUUUURRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 15:10,
Reply)
^ This guy gets it
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 15:11,
Reply)
*licks*
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 15:15,
Reply)
Thursday
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 19 Jun 2013, 15:13,
Reply)
« Go Back |
Reply To This »
Pages: Latest,
836,
835,
834,
833,
832, ...
1