is anyone else looking to purchase a mundane domestic item?
Do tell!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 14:19, 230 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

my friend al once got taken on a date by a guy who wanted to choose a spatula
after a few tedious hours, it became evident that it wasn't even a crap attempt to be kinky. the guy genuinely wanted to buy a spatula, and thought this would make a good first date.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 14:20, Reply)

Sounds like he'll always be a spatula.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 14:29, Reply)

Happy to be a spatula boy until his dying day

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 14:30, Reply)

I already have a wife.

( Peej, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 14:21, Reply)

I'm looking for a hotel room in London that doesn't cost a ridiculous amount
Any recommendations?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 14:27, Reply)

Go to a different city.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 14:29, Reply)

If only.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 14:29, Reply)

Which part of town do you need and when?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 14:30, Reply)

Can't you read? He said London.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 14:30, Reply)

An easily travelable distance from Leicester square after 10:30pm, on a Friday

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 14:34, Reply)

I've stayed in the RE a few times.
That isn't too bad. Not overly expensive although the neighbours are a bit iffy.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 14:30, Reply)

Hayes Comfort Inn

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 14:35, Reply)

I tend to either stop in the........
Blakemore in Bayswater www.blakemore-hotel-london.co.uk/ ,
or the Magaro’s penthouse apartment hotelmegaro.co.uk/apartment-suites/ Just near Kings Cross, quite reasonable prices
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 14:54, Reply)

I do love sites where you have to contact them for a price
sorry, not love, the other thing, "immediately remove from consideration".
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:25, Reply)

Nice places though

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:33, Reply)

Can't stop, I'm busy watching cats puking to techno
www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0xNUNCEQ9g
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 14:42, Reply)

i need to get a rolling pin does that count?
one like this would be best
www.amazon.co.uk/Rolling-Pin-Polyethylene-inch-508mm/dp/B002UDAAAK/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1372859274&sr=8-3&keywords=rolling+pin
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 14:48, Reply)

I don't know where you could find anything like that sorry

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 14:49, Reply)

yeh haha

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:07, Reply)

Well I'm always on the look out for stringed musical instruments
or any gadgets that can be used with stringed musical instruments.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 14:48, Reply)

Have you got one of these?
www.piranhaguitarbow.com/
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:16, Reply)

I haven't, but I've seen this done with a coin
This is probably easier though.

I do have an eBow. That's good fun.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:18, Reply)

+l
helps arms to work
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:53, Reply)

I tell you what we don't need more sofas, we've got two each.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 14:54, Reply)

capitalist pig

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:19, Reply)

The cover photo of Bruce Springsteen's Born in the USA means 'into fisting' in hanky code.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:00, Reply)

I've learned two things today:
1. See above
2. There is such a thing as a 'hanky code'
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:00, Reply)

'Backstreets' is definitely a gay song.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:16, Reply)

what's a Blackstreet then?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:19, Reply)

Dangerous

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:20, Reply)

BACK
Alright
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:53, Reply)

A car.
I'm indecisive
( Kroney, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:19, Reply)

2cv?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:21, Reply)

A biscuit tin on a rollerskate with a lawnmower engine nailed on.
Rubbish vehicles beloved of yurt pricks.
( Kroney, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:22, Reply)

Yeah but you can't roll them

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:22, Reply)

There's at least one video on YouTube of someone rolling one

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:31, Reply)

Not if it's stock

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:34, Reply)

Citroen DS

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:23, Reply)

I like those, but they're too slow.

( Kroney, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:25, Reply)

Peugot 205 GTI

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:27, Reply)

Best Car EVA!

( Peej, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:30, Reply)

No
Too small. Front wheel drive.
( Kroney, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:33, Reply)

Front wheel drive is better in rain, ice and snow.
Is more stable and easier to drive. Less likely to slide the back out too. 205 GTI 4EVA!
( Peej, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:37, Reply)

Front wheel drive was invented to make cars cheaper to assemble
Adding to the stress on steering and braking tyres by adding torque to them is stupid from an engineering point of view.
Front drive cars can oversteer easily too, just for different reasons.
I'll give you the snow one, weight over the driving wheels is why, although dumb traction control strands many expensive rear-drive cars in snow these days.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:44, Reply)

no one cares

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:45, Reply)

incorrect.

( Kroney, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:47, Reply)

i love my car to bits
but the rear wheel drive means if there is one flake of snow, that baby goes NOWHERE
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:46, Reply)

Put a couple of paving slabs in the boot and you'll be every bit as capable as a front wheel driver.

( Kroney, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:48, Reply)

i am an extremely capable driver thank you
i just don't trust anyone else when it's slippery and snowy
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:49, Reply)

Soz, just trying to give you a tip to remove the typical weakness
of rear wheel drive in the snow. You know, being helpful, like. But if you'd rather believe I thought you were a shitty driver, then you crack on, sweetheart.

Now, stop trying to take part in the boys' conversations and make us a cuppa, love.
( Kroney, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:52, Reply)

Fucks sake
its not that difficult to drive in snow if you are careful and plan ahead. I have a RWD and haven't had any problems apart from when I was being a dick and playing
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:55, Reply)

you are right
see also canada, sweden, finland, iceland, norway....

but for some reason this country turns into a pack of retards at the sight of a snowflake.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:57, Reply)

Because we don't require winter tyres by law.
Those other countries all do.
( Kroney, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:58, Reply)

Winter Tyres are for fags

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:02, Reply)

it's not just cars though
see also airports, trains, people walking down the street
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:02, Reply)

All those other countries also suffer delays at airports and trains
it's just wishful daily mail thinking that we are the only country which suffers when it snows.
( Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:04, Reply)

if it's in the daily mail, it must be true
you missed me being left wing yesterday. tangles was most surprised.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:05, Reply)

She can't even set a clock, mate.
Can't think why I might hold the opinion that she's technically incapable. Can't think at all.
( Kroney, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:57, Reply)

STRIKETHROUGH L
lulz abound
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:03, Reply)

but that would mean having dirty bricks in my boot
do be sensible

how about i cram YOU into the boot?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:56, Reply)

Hiya!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:26, Reply)

This 2cv seems alright
www.dailymotion.com/video/x9ewkp_2cv-ferrari_auto#.UdQ2Aj6gmYY
( Peej, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:31, Reply)

I need a new tinopener.
Shall I go for electric?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:33, Reply)

nah.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:39, Reply)

what would you do if it broke down?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:45, Reply)

Open the can with a brick?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:52, Reply)

which he can take from the boot of my car, i suppose?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:58, Reply)

I need a new Rachelswipe
my old one, well, it's just old. It's gone all saggy and wrinkly.
( Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:45, Reply)

*screengrabs*
*posts to al's wife*
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:46, Reply)

She already know you're saggy and wrinkly though.

( Bazongaloid, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:51, Reply)

firstly i'm not
fat pushes out wrinkles

secondly it will not reassure her for her own impending middle age
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:55, Reply)

I could do with a little bedside table
Can anyone recommend somewhere?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:56, Reply)

Obvious answer: next to the bed

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:57, Reply)

I need a new drill
Hammer action for my new epic dildo plan
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 15:56, Reply)

Good news everyone, I passed my telephone interview and am going for a second interview next week!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:13, Reply)

I think you would make a very good telephone

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:15, Reply)

Hahahahaha
Doffs cap
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:16, Reply)

thank you harters that means a lot

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:19, Reply)

*Inserts 20p coin*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:22, Reply)

*makes harters "big"*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:23, Reply)

I said international dialing
Not internal drilling :(
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:27, Reply)

He likes to widen the circles of his friends

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:30, Reply)

You applied to be a telephone?
Hope your cable's long enough
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:15, Reply)

a MARRphone

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:16, Reply)

fingers crossed you get that call centre job
getting people to sign up for PPI claims.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:16, Reply)

Hey Nakers, that's good news
just make sure it's not a rear wheel drive phone or swipe will think you're being mean about her and will call you fat. Word to the wise.
( Kroney, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:16, Reply)

a read wheel drive phone?
is that one of those smart things gonz was chatting about earlier?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:17, Reply)

I think you need to read wheel drive properly.

( Kroney, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:18, Reply)

the french are not known for their stealthy ninja skills
this is why
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:24, Reply)

Having your hands constantly aloft is not conducive to good swordplay, shuriken, or misdirection, etc

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:28, Reply)

Nev seems like a good boss.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:20, Reply)

who?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:21, Reply)

Where'd today's Wilf threads go?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:20, Reply)

All his subthreads are gone, too.
I expect he's deleted them.
( Kroney, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:22, Reply)

a lack of lithium leaves him a bit spastic, he may have freaked out and deleted them

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:22, Reply)

As always deleted

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:24, Reply)

i told him to go and take some happy pills
i feel bad now
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:24, Reply)

^ BULLY ^

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:25, Reply)

everyone loves a bit of bully

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:26, Reply)

i know, i'm just such a witch

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:27, Reply)

hahaha
I should post a picture of Grotbag, but I can't deal with your relentless bullying.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:31, Reply)

out of the black, and in the red; there's nothing in this game for two in a bed

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:29, Reply)

Racist

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:29, Reply)

He will be dangling from his door
Having a Hutchence now
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:28, Reply)

David Carradine MOAR like

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:29, Reply)

I mean who doesnt love a strangle wank every so often

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:30, Reply)

Nigella Lawson?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:32, Reply)

she fucking loved it
She is just going for the publicity I predict I new book out v soon
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:34, Reply)

I had to buy a washing machine that was the cost of Ghana's national dept last month.
So I now have no money for pies or alcohol.
(Shamelesspendant Better dead then smeg., Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:32, Reply)

anyone use Salesforce.com
the tutorial videos have the most annoying voiceover ever.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:48, Reply)

I just looked at the job prospects from having it on my CV.
I can be a "Marketing Cloud, CMO Evangelist"

pricks.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:52, Reply)

we looked at it a few years back
and decided it was pony... that said we then went and bought something more expensive and worse while one of the in house guys built our own
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 16:56, Reply)