How did 12 people consume
6 bottles of Prosecco
5 bottles of white wine
1 case of Peroni
2 case of Becks
1 case of San Migel
24 cans of cider
18 cans of Fosters
A litre bottle of Pimms

And all the booze they brought along

With no fatalities?

Tell me your amazing tales of booze (but no home brew chat)
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 11:56, 144 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I was once sick on the ceiling

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 11:58, Reply)

One of Lionel Ritchie's less successful singles.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 11:59, Reply)

I started at midday Friday and went to bed at 7.30 on Sat morning.
AND got up in time to watch the Lions game and have a joint!!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 11:59, Reply)

CSB

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:00, Reply)

recently, 2 people, 2 bottles of wine, 8 pints and a litre of gin in an evening
i did a little sleep on the sofa
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:02, Reply)

'll tell you something about dignity
Dignity is about being confident with yourself.
Dignity is having the stones to wear toeless trainers and tell an internet forum of 1000s of people, knowing no one there, but coming out having met a number of wonderful people, and befriending them all.
Dignity is knowing what you like and having the courage to let the world know you're not afraid to hide it.

Dignity is not trawling someone's facebook and website for pictures of them, and posting them on a message board for cheap laughs.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:02, Reply)

surely they are with toes, not toeless?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:03, Reply)

Who's been posting pictures?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:04, Reply)

I read that Reply to this music
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KL9mRus19o
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:05, Reply)

I'm guessing that's that godawful Baz Luhrmann song about sunscreen.
I shan't be clicking your link. I hate that song.
( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:08, Reply)

No....no it's not
It's Blackstreet's "No Diggity"
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:09, Reply)

I hate that song, too.

( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:09, Reply)

You hate everything, anyway dont you?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:10, Reply)

Don't worry, it isn't that. It is shit though.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:09, Reply)

No Diggity

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:10, Reply)

suggestion is now to go south
would you be able to meet us after dropping micro off if we did that?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:13, Reply)

Yes. Very easily.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:14, Reply)

marvellous
it's a date then
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:16, Reply)

txt plz

( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:23, Reply)

will do
mr impatient
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:26, Reply)

Well, if you will go around making plans
and then not inviting me or letting me know where it is, either you need to pull your act together or I need to take a hint so unsubtle that it has other people going "oooh, ouch".
( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:28, Reply)

there were never any plans
just a sort of nebulous, it's been ages, fancy a pint!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:37, Reply)

I had four whole cans of kroneburg yesterday.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:03, Reply)

I've drunk *several* cans of Top Deck shandy in my time.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:03, Reply)

Hardcore.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:05, Reply)

Bad. Ass.

( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:21, Reply)

i had too much vodka on fri, after a pretty dry month
it meant that i elected to drive to yesterday's tennis lunch/drinks.

so about as UNamazing as it gets, really. except that the other girls all feel horrific today, apparently. heh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:08, Reply)

Well, there was the other new year
when, following 3 days of parties and a trip to Edinburgh that my feet decided that they were not up to the job of carrying me down the stairs anymore.

I blame the last mohito that Beekers made.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:08, Reply)

Did you not have any decent booze available?
Or did you hide all that for when your real friends come round?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:09, Reply)

Correct.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:10, Reply)

Quite easily I would assume

( Peej, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:09, Reply)

I drank far too much yesterday
and got told off numerous times because I kept shouting out "come on Tim"
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:12, Reply)

I could have sworn somebody yelled out "come on Tim" in the stands, you know.
But I've been told I was hearing things.
( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:22, Reply)

Gerard Butler and Bradley Cooper looked well gay

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:27, Reply)

Women go nuts for those two.
OG was all "hello boys" and I'm willing to place money that swipe slid off her sofa and ended up in an oozing, untidy pile under her coffee table.
( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:31, Reply)

I had a little purr over Bradley Cooper, I have to say.
Gerard Butler did look a bit weird though.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:34, Reply)

we were literally screaming with excitement at them
fucking HELL they are hot. one of the girls there has a best mate who dated gerard , before he was famous. apparently said best mate is a model who makes gerard look ugly. this story did not impress me much.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:34, Reply)

I don't understand the fascination.
Cooper's a good looking guy, fair enough. Gerard Butler just looks like somebody made a bad job of shaving an ape.
( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:39, Reply)

nah, he'd get it
he's funny
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:41, Reply)

That's what og said.
She actually said that neither of them are particularly attractive, physically, but I suspect she was massaging my ego, there.
( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:42, Reply)

Well, she *has* demonstrated shit taste in men...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:43, Reply)

There is this, of course.

( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:46, Reply)

he makes fucking awful movies

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:42, Reply)

The film I mentioned a moment ago is very good
Bob De Niro generally wouldn't put his name to a shit film
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:44, Reply)

I enjoyed 'Limitless'.
And not only because of Bradley Cooper's eyes.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:45, Reply)

are you fucking joking? That film is alright at best
and De Niro not making a shit movie?

little fockers
hide and seek
the wedding
righteous kill
15 mins

etcetec
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:47, Reply)

Correction. Robert de Niro of twenty years ago would not have put his name to a shit film.
Ever since then, all he's done is make a series of fucking painfully tragic "comedies".
( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:48, Reply)

The Bruce Willis syndrome.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:51, Reply)

i can't wait for Die Hard 6 - Die hardest

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:53, Reply)

You should watch his interview in the web thingy "between two ferns"
He was asked "When you were making The Whole Ten Yards, were you ever worried it was going to be too good?"
(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:55, Reply)

hahah what?
I saw him looking fucking awkward on the 1 show
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:56, Reply)

youtube it when you're home it's "well lol"
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Between_Two_Ferns
(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:59, Reply)

I don't really watch comedies and that Adam Sandler can GTFO

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:58, Reply)

is that because you have no sense of humour?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:59, Reply)

Yes

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:00, Reply)

thanks for that "Shania"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:40, Reply)

i thought butler looked very well dressed

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:34, Reply)

^ Not at all GHEY ^

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:36, Reply)

Nah, Cooper can wear a suit. Butler looked like a monkey butler, however.

( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:38, Reply)

I recommended that Sports Cow Watch "Limitless" on film 4 the other night
www.imdb.com/title/tt1219289/
I wonder if he got round to it?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:40, Reply)

Yeah, I heard that.
I also heard "Come on, Roger!".
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:34, Reply)

roger is an exceptionally attractive man
but he is no bradley cooper

#13 year old
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:36, Reply)

Federer's not really 'attractive'
but damn, he's sexeh!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:37, Reply)

when all around him are sweating and swearing
he looks as cool as a cucumber playing on an ice rink

conclusion: fucking WOULD
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:41, Reply)

Women are peculiar beasts.

( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:46, Reply)

Strike through + adds extra letters
= Women have spectacular Breasts
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:59, Reply)

Are we sure there's been no fatalities?
Has everyone been accounted for today?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:18, Reply)

Except Monty, I mean.
There's no accounting for him.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:20, Reply)

Yes. I have also heard from the noninternet who attended.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:23, Reply)

Lies.
There are no non-internet people.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:33, Reply)

My wife also came along for an hour or so. That was a bit weird, but micro liked being with us both.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:34, Reply)

I must say, you seem to be behaving very civilly.
I can only assume she knows she's got you over a barrel.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:36, Reply)

It's all about micro. If things are civil it's better for her.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:38, Reply)

How terribly grown up.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:38, Reply)

Innit.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:42, Reply)

Gino decampo just said on live telly "What's the point in watching two men play with one ball when I can spend the weekend watching one women play with two balls?".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:30, Reply)

Gosh.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:33, Reply)

He's so Riské !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:38, Reply)

On TV I've heard him say that you should never fry onion and garlic together
Yet in one of his books, most of the recipes say you should! He's full of shit, man.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:44, Reply)

why shouldn't you fry and onion and garlic together?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:48, Reply)

By the time the onion is done, the garlic is burnt

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:51, Reply)

Well yeah, that's why you put the onion in first
I thought maybe they reacted badly or some shit
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:51, Reply)

Nah, not if you're careful
I guess he's just a heavy handed, greasy haired, wop twat.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:54, Reply)

the less you cook the garlic the stronger it'll taste

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:56, Reply)

He reckons you only want the flavour of one or the other, not both
Which I think is bullshit.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:53, Reply)

that is a load of old toss.
So all Indian recipes ever are wrong are they? what a silly man this oaf must be.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:12, Reply)

What do you expect from a wop?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:13, Reply)

Flirting with my wife, shite beer and an inability to comprehend vegetarianism.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:21, Reply)

Ha ha ha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:25, Reply)

Fucking lightweights.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:35, Reply)

I think I've told my top drinking stories before
1. Three quarters of a bottle of Southern Comfort while being distracted by a Jimi Hendrix documentary. Didn't realise how drunk I was until my wife came through and tried to talk to me. Bad times.
2. Passed out in the toilets of a notorious gay bar in Portsmouth. As far as I'm aware, no one tried to fiddle with my doo-dah.
3. Drank two bottles of someone's home made peach sherry and was so drunk I couldn't walk up the stairs. Ended up sleeping in the hallway.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:43, Reply)

I love you more every day

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:56, Reply)

Aw, that's nice
You alright?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:57, Reply)

No mate, I'm still fuming after yesterday's shit storm.
Then I got even more pissed off because I got to the gym and my shorts weren't in my bag, so I couldn't lift because I didn't have enough time to get home and come back. I might just close the pub at 3 and go get shit faces
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:00, Reply)

So glad I don't get punchy when I'm drunk

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:05, Reply)

Yeah, there were actual brawls in the street further up apparently.
Carnivals can Fuck off
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:14, Reply)

Knob heads
What's wrong with having a nice pint, eh? Pint, a chat and a nice pie.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:15, Reply)

Not so long ago I was sitting in a beer garden by a canal.
A narrowboat with a party on it came past and stopped at the lock. A bunch of Indian lads got off and went into the pub for a beer. A few minutes later they came back out, one of them having to be physically restrained because he was bug eyed screaming about "fucking white cunts". It seems he was refused at the bar at half past seven in the evening for being too drunk.

I don't really understand why some people completely flip out when they've been drinking.
( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:17, Reply)

underlying issues innit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:19, Reply)

He seemed to be somewhat too inebriated to see the logical fallacy
in accusing the "fucking white cunts" of being racist towards him.
( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:21, Reply)

It's a mystery to me why people get like that.
Plus, if drinking does make you angry or upset or whatever, why the fuck would you ever do it again? People are fucking retarded.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:19, Reply)

Some people just seem to enjoy fighting.

( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:21, Reply)

As someone who has got punchy in the past, I can only say,
I was in a horrid place in my life, and was taking it out on other people. As I sorted my life out, the less punching I would do
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:26, Reply)

I still have a scar on my forehead
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1886241
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:01, Reply)

Ha, nice

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:04, Reply)

I literally have no memory of that conversation.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:10, Reply)

Was you DRUNK at the time?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:11, Reply)

this thread is fucking shit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:50, Reply)

Thank you Eddie Kidd.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:09, Reply)

haha

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:10, Reply)

Doesn't sound too much spread over a day with food.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 12:55, Reply)

I had some booze, once.

( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:09, Reply)

^ LIES ON THE INTERNET ^

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:09, Reply)

my feet are hot

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:21, Reply)

I've taken my shoes off.

( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:22, Reply)

What you need is some split toed sneakers

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:22, Reply)

My EVERYTHING is hot.
Have you seen fat birds sweating? It's not pretty. : (
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:22, Reply)

Oh, I don't know
I don't mind a sweaty bird. As long as she doesn't smell, of course.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:24, Reply)

One of my exes was well sweaty when we were, you know.
She said "I'm sorry it's so gross" I was all "no really, it's fine".

I was lying, it wasn't. It was gross.
( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:26, Reply)

fat bird eh?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:29, Reply)

Actually, she was quite athletic. She swam and danced etc.

( Kroney, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:30, Reply)

was she kiki from Sea World?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:34, Reply)

Haha
metro.co.uk/2013/07/08/mermaid-melissa-dawn-finds-love-with-fellow-performer-antonio-padilla-3873089/
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:38, Reply)

I'm barefoot.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:23, Reply)

+ Contessa

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:33, Reply)

Known as 'Vag' in our house.
You know, cos her name is Ina Garten.


Vag Ina. "lol"
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:59, Reply)

haha
I think I need a hair of the dog Monce, the worst thing this morning is that the wife is off until Weds. :( I really need a fucking break
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:04, Reply)

From a few years back
This was from a house party

There were 3 of us drinking the Stella, hangover was not nice the next day, especially as I was dragged to the cinema. Ugh.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:25, Reply)

Fucking Hell.
That's some good work, right there.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:26, Reply)

that's where the long road to the debtors prison began

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:27, Reply)

This was when I was still living with parents, years back
Also helped that the beer was dirt cheap, 3 crates for £20 IIRC
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:29, Reply)

clickin dis

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:34, Reply)

My mate had us sample some whisky at last night's BBQ
Cask strength single malt, 60% alcohol.

How I can see straight today is a miracle.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:48, Reply)

I'm not feeling brilliant I must confess

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:49, Reply)

I'm a bit tired, but fine otherwise.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:51, Reply)

This is me.
I regret sleeping until 6pm.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:54, Reply)

I am feeling a little hayfevery. I could fall alseep in ten seconds flat.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:55, Reply)

Fell asleep in front of the TV, woke up at 2pm & dragged myself to bed (after another glass of wine).

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:57, Reply)

I downed that bottle of white on the train and passed out upon getting home.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:57, Reply)

lucky lusty

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 13:59, Reply)

I get treated well good.
I woke up still dressed at 12.30 this afternoon.
Work is going to be testing this evening :(
( wanderlust, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:07, Reply)

Ha ha. Good effort.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:09, Reply)

still dressed = ready for the day!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:10, Reply)

We're fine examples to our daughters.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 8 Jul 2013, 14:00, Reply)