Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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What tricks do you use to get you through the mind numbing boredom of working?Alt:
What the fuck is wrong with you? No really. Go and look in the mirror
AltAlt:
Office pololotics. Apparently people are now booking holidays deliberately to inconvenience other. Wha gwan in yo' place?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 14:55,
155 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
Internet. Always internetAlt: I had a bad accident when I was kid. My facial covers the worst of the scarring.
AltAlt: Ha, doesn't surprise me. At our place there are people that are blatently creating more work for themselves to make them look busier than they are. Not a problem per se, but it ends up creating more work for the people around them.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 14:58,
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Is the accident the cause of the need for two hats, errr, two hats?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:08,
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Oh, noI did fracture my skull, but no particularly bad damage was done to my bonce. My face and mouth took most of the impact.
Took most of the skin off my hands at the time too. Really I was fucking lucky to survive it.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:10,
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YeahStupid kid. I walked out in front of a bus without looking when I was 10-ish. It sort of clipped me and threw me about 30 feet down the road.
REMEMBER THE GREEN CROSS CODE, KIDS! OTHERWISE YOU'LL END UP LOOKING LIKE TWO HATS!
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:13,
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Chicks dig scars though(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:14,
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Or is it ska they dig? I forget(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:14,
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If you're in a ska band AND have scarsYou'll have them frothing at the gash
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:15,
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It *is* terribly moreish(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:22,
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I am going to have to point out how clever and witty this post is myself(, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 16:08, Reply)
It looked much worse when I was a kidMy face has sort of grown into it, if that makes sense.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:16,
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do you look like arseface from preacher?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 16:57,
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What the fuck is this shitseems like some sort of BBC repeat, I don't pay my license fee to watch repeats... DAILY MAILS
(, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:00, Reply)
It got ignored earlier and I'm too fucking lazy to think of a new thread(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:02,
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I see that you can now pay in some shops using paypal after you "check in" using your phone.There is no way this is in any way open to abuse and fraud.
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What?I hate Paypal - it is shit
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:03,
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I'm currently between jobs atm so the internet is helping me kill my boredom.Alt: I dislocated my thumb over the weekend. Other than that I'm in need of a run I reckon.
Altalt: I remember some old lady who had the great misfortune of being one step up the shitladder. She therefore believed that every email she received was important and so she requested her own printer so that she could print off every single one of them.
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Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:03,
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Well if it was, fuck Nakers. S/he's a terrible person.(
Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:15,
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Where can I get one of these between jobs ATMs?Is it from Wonga?
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 16:25,
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I'm getting some strong fucking de ja vu here(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:03,
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I took three weeks off over Christmas last year, partly because I had a holiday bookedpartly because I was moving and partly because Christmas. It was all signed off by my boss and the third week was booked less than a month beforehand.
Apparently people bitched SO hard that I'm not allowed time off at Christmas at all this year. So I'm going to leave.
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Kroney, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:04,
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Seems reasonableAs soon as our staff conference (the fucking drumming shite) is booked you cannot take that day off
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:07,
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This. Internet. MobileAlt. Not much. Im decent to look at and not obese. Can be a bit high maintenance
AltAlt. I have just been asked to join the football team (really).
I laughed at them.
Rather have a leg off.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:06,
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"I can't play football - I'm a gay"(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:30,
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Football is for cunts anyway.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:35,
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HAHAHHAHAAAAHAH AHAHAHAAAHAAH HAHHHAA
it's like listening to your grandparents talk about the world wide webs
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:06,
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Oh god, isn't it though?I thought this when it was on the news this morning. Does Cameron have even the first clue of what the internet is? He doesn't seem to.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:12,
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he really is a shiney faced prickedit... and he fucking dropped in the "speaking as a parent"
yeah a parent who managed to forget his child and leave it at a pub
(, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:21, Reply)
I had a look at ask.fmI didn't kill myself, I was asked if I liked engineering.
(, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:24, Reply)
No mention of asking parents to monitor their childs internet use either.(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:30,
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I apologise. He did mention parents 'having a word'
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:31,
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I saw 'Boycott websites' and thought ffs not fucking cricket again(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:32,
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One gripe is the fucking awful music Im being subjected to today.Some sort of tribal house shit with some awful gangsta MCing over the top.
Oh and for the previous alt. Im *very* deaf and have aids... Hearing ones.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:10,
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It's a very laid back officeNormally it's deep house, but none of that Ministry shit.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:16,
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Bing bing bang a bang a bang bing bong bing a bing bang a bong (
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:34,
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www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ew43u2gS0Y
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:50,
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Mind numbing drugs.Alt: My mind is numb.
Altalt: I'm oblivious to all that goes on here.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:10,
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Man, I could go for some mind numbing drugs now(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:11,
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You're thinking of hoovering the sofa and snorting the dust, aren't you?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:58,
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Oh manNot only has my QOTW suggestion been chosen, they're running with it with gusto! ARF!
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:19,
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They've clearly relented about you making multiple suggestions(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:22,
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Perhaps they'll think I'll stop if they throw me a bonemorons
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:23,
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Cor I'd 'throw' you a 'bone'IFYOUKNOWWHATIMEAN
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:28,
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And when a vegetarian says that, you'd better take it seriously(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:43,
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Well, it's more of a 'bone effect' soya stick tbh(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:44,
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I defy any of you to tell the difference in a blind taste test.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:45,
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haha"It's like someone's mixed stilton with sugar puffs"
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:48,
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I'm going to the second best indian in milton keynes tonight.Jelly?
(, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:23, Reply)
Probably curry I would have thought.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:24,
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I'm over 30 now, I have to reclaim my youth through language, you get me?(, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:25, Reply)
Jelly Curry.... COULD IT WORK?maybe as a stock cube.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:30,
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cumin, coriander, curry power, chili flakes and gelatineyeah, it'll work...it'll taste like shit, but it'll work.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:49,
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Has your girlfriend not earned enough pound coins to take you to the best one?(, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:25, Reply)
I was just gonna say what kind of cheap cunt "Here you go love, you got change for a fiver"
GRRRRRRR GNNNNNNN ARRRRRR AGHHHHHHHHHHH *plop*
"Thanks hun, but you can keep _that_ change".
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:33,
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"cheap cunt" is probably an inappropriate phrase(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:40,
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I don't think you're ready for this jelly(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:36,
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Is it morning again?Did my time travel experiments work???
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:24,
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Sort of...But in a bizarre twist of fate Mr b3th is now 35 years younger than you and you are still responsible for looking after him.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:26,
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Kind of like The Fly only with Terry Wogan in the role of the fly(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:33,
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I think it's pretty obvious here that I've never seen The Fly(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:33,
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Yeah, its normally unzipped and ready for you(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:35,
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I work for a big corporation.We've got a couple of really institutionalised people who get away with stuff because it would be too expensive to make them redundant. One is particularly, and very deliberately, openly obnoxious, rude, and sarcastic.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:29,
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Yes.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:45,
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lolI was going to say just that
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:35,
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This guy makes you look like Michael Palin.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:45,
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DONT QUESTION MY HILARIOUS STRIKETHROUGH(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:49,
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Thank you, sportoNow, could you just shoot up the shops for me?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:51,
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Raoul Moat wasn't fit to lick his bootsRIP RYAN :(
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 15:52,
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Since this is a rerun thread I shall share my lolarious strikethrough zing of Dubya Pee:
5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2042718
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 16:01,
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wow that was well worth a second readthanks m8!!!!!
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 16:16,
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To answer the questionI actually enjoy some parts of my work but I don't actively seek out enough stuff to do to fill the day, the rest is internets.
Alt: Lack of sleep, almost always. And occasionally drinking on an empty stomach.
AltAlt: Never ascribe to malice what can be explained by incompetence pretty much describes this place. I'm starting to lean towards malice, though. Nobody could be this consistently dumb, surely?
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 16:03,
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This. Quick wank in the bogs. Plan stuff. The usual.Alt: Nowt wrong wi me sporto, I know my oats
Altalt: I do what I like. Any cunt gives me lip I jib the fucker.
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 16:12,
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You do know the phrase is either 'get your oats' or 'know your onions' don't you Reg?It's some kind of elaborate joke isn't it?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 16:17,
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It's funny cos I repeat it so much *winks*I know how this place works
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 16:19,
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Typical Reggie!*rolls eyes*
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 16:23,
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I know you do......Wilf?I fucking give up actually. Sod you.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 16:23,
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I brought you into this world, young man - and I can just as easily take you out of it.Hang on....this reads like a) I am your dad and b) I'm threatening to kill you.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 16:31,
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Indeed it doeshowever, having met you, while you look old enough to be my dad, you're nowhere near as scary.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 8 Aug 2013, 16:36,
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Just realised,Aug 17: Jeffstock
Aug 24th: Hawkwind
Aug 31/Sep 1: Carnival
Nice looking August.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 16:46,
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Ain't there a bank holiday in august too?I swear man, if they double it up for the christaning rather than making it a second bank holiday, I'd be pleeding mitigating.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 16:50,
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that's carnival weekend.wanna go? I hope to take my kid, get some Jamaican grub in
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 16:51,
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Yeah' man, I've never been, well up for that =)(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 17:20,
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Monty will just dump his kid on you and then fuck off With your medication to see what he can get on a part-exchange basis.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 17:24,
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It'll be like a Blue Peter 'bring 'n buy sale'.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 17:25,
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bring and HIGH sale MORE LIKE GEDDIT?!!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 17:45,
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I'm going to wear the most obscenely loud clothing that they're going to think i'm part of the show.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 17:56,
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yeah I'm fucked if I'm going to that, you?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 16:52,
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I'm gonna go.I need to make sure it's shit. If I don't ruin it for everyone then I'd be letting the side down.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 16:53,
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Also, it's another good opportunity to not meet Dozer.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 16:54,
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he still doesn't know it's in York does he?the fuckin wanker
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 16:57,
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With the second special Monday bash in Leeds.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 16:58,
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Yeah I can't believe Andy Weatherall is playing, and Tony Hawk's doing a skate demo!!And Etnies are giving away free size 12 sneakers, gonna be mental!!!
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 17:01,
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The shoe give away will be really popular. Given how often York floods, extra canoes are always in high demand.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 17:02,
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Good old Dozer, the original 'York Mincer'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 17:05,
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With his 4 stripeSadidas tracksuit.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 17:09,
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Or a pair of those Pony NFL shoes from the late 80s.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 17:26,
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In other news my daughter has just told me off for being noisy (cooking) whilst she is drawing. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 17:28,
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I guess your high heels click a lot as you min e around the kitchen(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 17:29,
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No cross dressing in front of children. Not after last time(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 17:30,
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I never get dressed when I'm angry or stuff can get ripped(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 8 Aug 2013, 17:31,
Reply)
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