Yeah whad up money grip?
Tuesday is here YES!!!!!!!

Just reading about the possible closing of all tube ticket offices and having a wry chuckle. Their fucking cunt union has behaved so appallingly for so long that bosses are prepared to do almost anything just to lay people off. Your fault, cunts. Or am *I* the cunt here?

Alt: I woke up with LL Cool J's 'Mama Said Knock You Out' in my head. I think it's the best comeback record of all time. Possibly the best comeback of all time although Elvis Presley's 1968 effort was a good shout. Who or what do you think is history's finest comeback?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 7:56, 269 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Alt: The Equals, obv
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AcigKiu_Gk

Pato Banton, what on earth were you thinking of?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 7:59, Reply)

Morning.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:03, Reply)

Jawohl

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:03, Reply)

What's poppin'?
I don't care if they close those offices as my tube ticket is combined with my season ticket, so could not give a single fuck if someone is there to watch me cruise through the barrier or not.

Alt: I had a drum and bass track which sampled said LL Cool J track, twas good.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:04, Reply)

Alt: I'd like to hear that.
Little known Monty fact: I've made a number of drum'n'bass tracks, one I nearly released, I was that happy with it. It sampled 1990 rave classic Kaos by Dr Baker and Riddim Killah by London Posse legend Rodney P.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:08, Reply)

Wow that's fascinating, thanks Monty!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:10, Reply)

I used to DJ jungle 'back in the day'.
I think the track was Gangsta Boogie by B-Jam on No Smoking Records, but I can't see it on YouTube. Someone has put it up but it's the B-side audio.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:14, Reply)

You are the cunt here.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:13, Reply)

I am ill. Woken up with a swollen windpipe so even drinking coffee is painful. Got a temperature, shivers & the runs.
Not happy.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:15, Reply)

I had those very symptoms, so went to the Doctor.
Luckily it was only cancer.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:16, Reply)

That's ok then. I was concerned it was something serious.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:17, Reply)

Like a touch of man flu?
I can't see it being that bad. And I am a Dr.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:18, Reply)

An Internet dr
Best of all teh doctorz
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:26, Reply)

^thrush diagnosed.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:29, Reply)

Well sometimes she's definitely an irritable cunt.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:32, Reply)

You fucked up that joke

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:06, Reply)

I have a few people off with similar.
Hopefully only a 3 day job.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:21, Reply)

The windpipe bit is particularly unpleasant.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:22, Reply)

You misspelled f-a-c-e
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:25, Reply)

A swollen windpipe is normally due to an over reactive gag reflex
If you are more careful when sucking off the sailors you will be fine
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:25, Reply)

If we ever saw a reduction in ticket costs as a result of cutting the wages, maybe
As it is, I would be sad for those who lose their jobs, but totally and utterly blame the unions for being such archaic cunts and holding people to ransom. They've cost their members public opinion blah blah.

Alt: your mum comes on her back
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:18, Reply)

We will never see a reduction. It's all bluster and bullshit.
As it stands I think my season ticket is going to go up by £300. It's a fucking joke.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:21, Reply)

Cuuuuuuunts
I really hate spending money on my travel card. It feels like such a waste. Every year I think I should do the season ticket loan thing from work, but it just seems like so much money in one go. £20 top ups are annoying but palatable.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:25, Reply)

I heard this morning that following the next round of rises
tickets will be on average 40% higher than they were 6 years ago.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:22, Reply)

At least all the "upgrades" are totally working because we have lovely new trains and far fewer delays.....

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:24, Reply)

In fairness remember the slam door trains in the 80s.
Them muthafuckas STANK yo.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:27, Reply)

To be fair...
I get the high speed train from Kent, and it does suffer from far fewer delays than the normal 'pleb' trains. But its still over £6000 which is a fuck-load of cash up front every year.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:27, Reply)

Tube workers?
Fuck them, bunch of greedy money grabbing cunts.
( Peej, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:29, Reply)

I don't know enough about the tube workers' disputes to comment on whether they are cunts or not
But I feel I know enough about you to confidently state that yes, you, Monty Boyce off of the internet, *are* a cunt.

Alt: Comebacks are rarely dignified or worthy of anything apart from resolving debt issues of those involved.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:34, Reply)

See Lauren Hill

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:38, Reply)

Is she a cunt an' all?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:39, Reply)

Her dad Benny was alright though

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:44, Reply)

ah yes, the Wesley Snipes of hip hop.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:50, Reply)

alt: precisely
Hence my asking for people's views on the rare occasions when they worked well and were dignified.

Muhammad Ali hasn't been mentioned yet which surprises me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:42, Reply)

This is where a tiny, spastic voice pipes up with 'I don't know why boxing is considerd a sport'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:42, Reply)

Verbal comebacks would be better for that criteria

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:04, Reply)

Alt: S Club 7's return as S Club 7 with only 3 of 'em or summink.
Looked like they weighed the sames as all 7 did anyway.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:36, Reply)

Yesssssssssss! Tuesday will bring some finance admin, 2 awkward phone calls and fuck ton of planning
Alt: YM is the best comeback there is
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:37, Reply)

I agree. Tube staff hide behind the "We won't accept abuse of our staff" posters, and are then rude and unhelpful.
I think Hitler's comeback will be pretty impressive.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:39, Reply)

I'm praying you're right.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:43, Reply)

Well, not just praying, but 'working tirelessly towards'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:43, Reply)

London cunts laughing at other London cunts losing their jobs?
There's a fucking shocker, never would expect that from you cunts. As long as your bubble smells of roses fuck any other cunt eh?

Typical Mince!! *rolls eyes*
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:40, Reply)

*canned laughter*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:43, Reply)

*simple misunderstanding that escalates with hilarious consequences*
*rolls eyes*
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:46, Reply)

*regular character walks onto set and delivers catchprase*


*rapturous applause*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:56, Reply)

I'm more worried about him smelling your bubble, to be honest

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:04, Reply)

*light-hearted jeering*

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:11, Reply)

How much is tube travel these days?
Not been on it for a long time. Weren't they threatening to strike during the Olympics too?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:41, Reply)

To go one single stop without an Oyster card is getting on for a fiver.
You couldn't make it up etc
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:44, Reply)

It's political correctness gone mad.
I mean, it isn't. But I stand by my statement.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:46, Reply)

I'd write to that Richard Littlejohn.
Seems our sort of chap.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:49, Reply)

He's a calm and reasonable man.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:55, Reply)

Alt: Jesus

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:47, Reply)

Monty Boyce is such a cunt that he dobbed in Rolf Harris for those 1970s sexcrimes.
He's a national treasure, you prick.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:47, Reply)

You mean Rolf dobbed him. Never heard it called that before. Alright Dozer?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:50, Reply)

yer
Listening to Fuck Buttons to start the day off.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:52, Reply)

You're a national dick, treasure.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:55, Reply)

It must be love, love...

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 8:59, Reply)

Alt: Barrymore's successful comeback to public life after he murdered his fuck toy

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:04, Reply)

My grandma used to love him
She'd have been devastated to see him turn out to be gay and a chew toy killer
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:05, Reply)

Didn't he go straight again?
After going bent and bumming someone to death, and getting away with it, he decided that lifestyle wasn't for him after all.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:07, Reply)

Pool the other one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:07, Reply)

I like this

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:08, Reply)

Struck it lucky, didn't he?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:05, Reply)

Why are there no ashtrays in his house?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:08, Reply)

ho HO!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:09, Reply)

something about stuart lubbock NOT being "awoit up the back"

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:19, Reply)

I'm feeling rather good this morning
despite running 10 miles last night then being woken up at 4:50am by Calf 2.

Alt:
Allies in 1944
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:05, Reply)

alt: that's a good call

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:09, Reply)

Debbie McGee's successful comeback from being a magician's bit of totty, with her touring company Ballet Imaginaire
Unfortunately the public failed to recognise her brilliance and her octogenarian husband was forced to haul his wrinkly arse back on stage to make up for the huge losses.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:10, Reply)

And she sold that photo of her sucking off a dog or whatever.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:12, Reply)

hang on, what?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:14, Reply)

Ahem. Nothing.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:19, Reply)

i've got my eye on you frog.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:21, Reply)

This sounds like a threat.
I'm telling Dave Cameron that you're a cyberbully.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:24, Reply)

DAVID CAMERON IS A PRICK AND IF I EVER SEE HIM IN THE STREET I'M GOING TO PUNCH HIM IN THE GOITER.
there, now someone report that threat and we'll get b3ta shut down as a terrorist website.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:29, Reply)

Do you want to join a terrorist cell?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:29, Reply)

Not really, unless that terrorist cell is all about punching Cameron in the Goitre.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:32, Reply)

I don't. The last one I was in ended VERY badly.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:36, Reply)

i posted a link to that song just yesterday.
We must be soul mates or sutin.

I don't really give 2 fucks about the tube staff, whenever i go to london, the only ones i see doing anything are the drivers (vaguely) and that poor little black fella cleaning up sick.

Alt: come backs can fuck off.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:10, Reply)

*comes back*
*fucks off*
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:15, Reply)

actually, my real answer would be Tina Turner, what's love got to do with it.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:17, Reply)

Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken, eh?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:18, Reply)

prezactly.
How are you today oh Hats of two?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:19, Reply)

Yeah, alright 'spose
Bit o' this, bit o' that, you know how it is. You?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:21, Reply)

yeah, i'm ok, gonna do a full service on the car today, ready for its 3 weeks of runnning to milton keynes and back.
something keeps making a really high pitched beeping noise, and i can't tell if it's in my house or not, and frankly i'm too lazy to go and look for it.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:22, Reply)

It might be the missus
Maybe she needs a full service. So to speak.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:24, Reply)

nah, she's gone to work.
it seems to have stopped now, so thats good.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:25, Reply)

So she's gone to work and the sound has mysteriously stopped
Well I'm stumped
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:29, Reply)

no, it started after she left numb nuts.
she's been gone since about 7am. you are impossible sometimes.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:29, Reply)

Maybe she deliberately left an under-charged battery in the smoke alarm

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:32, Reply)

:(

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:32, Reply)

Look, I'm just trying to consider every possibility

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)

Has anyone explored the possibility that Windus may have been fitted with some sort of tracking device?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:35, Reply)

I hate it when women do that

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)

They're so devious

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:34, Reply)

snakes with tits, bruv

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:40, Reply)

Had a similar recently.
After I'd murdered the alarm clock (which I never set) at 3am I found it was the reminder thingy on a new watch I'd been given.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:54, Reply)

durr, just realised you meant Cool J

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:24, Reply)

I REPLIED AND EVERYTHING YOU HORRIBLE DELETER!!!
but yeah, i know the elvis version you are on about, but also cannot find the recording anywhere.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:26, Reply)

I'm such an Al

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:34, Reply)

Here you go, unless we're talking at cross purposes here:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkE6c--mvZc
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:35, Reply)

When I was around 9 or 10 I thought that was one of the coolest things ever.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:37, Reply)

Because it is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:37, Reply)

No one in my junior school thought I was cool when I turned up with my hair slicked back with a DA :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:40, Reply)

i like this.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:42, Reply)

I've gone back to bed.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:11, Reply)

YESSSSS

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:11, Reply)

You're hardly likely to mount a successful comeback from there.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:12, Reply)

i was reading an article the other day about getting better sleep,
and it said that to get yoursekf psychologically rein tune with sleeping, you should only use the bed for sleep and sex. like,watching TV and reading in bed can turn it in to a comfort spot, so you won't want to get up in the morning and feel groggy.
so yeah, sleep well.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:14, Reply)

haha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:21, Reply)

Amy Winehouse's comeback zzzinggl...oh no, wait, hang on

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:23, Reply)

I'm not v well today so am spending it working from home on the sofa. Be more funny pls, Internet
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:26, Reply)

IS this a beetroot/eggs siuation?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:27, Reply)

Just a combination of being shattered and feeling a bit sick
I never ever have days off sick, but I'll be on the bb all day and I don't feel guilty not at all raaaah
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:41, Reply)

+lo

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)

Excellent work here.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:07, Reply)

Oh man :((

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:07, Reply)

I said to the gym instructor: "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said: "How flexible are you?" I said: "I can't make Tuesdays."

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:27, Reply)

^ here all week ^

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:29, Reply)

sad times

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:32, Reply)

That's an old tommy cooper.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)

YOURN an old Tommy Cooper

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)

I like tommy cooper

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:41, Reply)

+it up the

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)

cloches enfers

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:50, Reply)

2nd click of the day for you

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)

well, thats one more thing we have in common,
we should start a Ginger people who like Tommy Cooper fan club
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)

It would be a v exclusive club
Did you see the ginger pride march in Scotland over the weekend??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:46, Reply)

no. sounds tragic.
i really wish ginger people would stop doing things to enforce the "gingers are dickheads" stereotype.

Was it some fucking knob fringe comedians vain attempt at getting a spot on Macintyres comedy train crash?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:49, Reply)

How did you guess??
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-23643831
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:56, Reply)

I was walking past the library the other day
I ripped two inches off the bottom of my trousers and threw it through the door. The librarian ran out and said "well that's a turn-up for the books."
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:31, Reply)

Hi Tim Vine!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)

How dare you

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)

With ease.
I ain't give a shit, G.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:39, Reply)

call that Tim Vine, this is Tim Vine,
Went to the doctors and said: "Have you got anything for wind?" He gave me a kite.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:41, Reply)

Our very own Jeff made up a joke which Tim Vine adopted, but I can't remember it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)

is this one of those stories where it's not true?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)

no it's genuine

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:54, Reply)

He'll be lurking in this thread right now, hoping to find more material.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)

I actually like him, until he starts singing.
WHY DO THEY START SINGING, WINDY? WHY????
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)

PEN BEHIND THE EAR, PENBEHINDTHEEAR, PEN BEHIND THE EAR

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:46, Reply)

I was in the Army once and the sergeant said to me ‘What does surrender mean?’ I said ‘I give up!’

I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper… dicing with death!

So I rang up British Telecom and said ‘I want to report a nuisance caller’ He said ‘Not you again’

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah and I thought ‘He’s trying to pull a fast one’

I was taking the motorway out of London. A policeman pulled me over and said ‘Put it back’

I’ve got a friend who has got a butler whose left arm is missing; serves him right

Albinos; you can’t say fairer than that
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)

The last one made me laugh

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:55, Reply)

I watched Oblivion the other night
Tom Cruise is a clone or something.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:27, Reply)

I tried to watch Inception last night
It seemed like a load of old Matrix toss, then I went to sleep 20mins in.

The end.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:54, Reply)

Dreaming while watching a film about dreaming... that's deep dude.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:56, Reply)

If we're talking dignified comebacks, then look no further than Paul Shane's legendary performance of You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling on Pebble Mill at One
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJvGdOC6D1Y
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:27, Reply)

i am not watching that.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:29, Reply)

you're making a terrible, terrible mistake

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:30, Reply)

Then you are a fool.
That is one of the finest moments of television history.
Telly has never really been as good since that point.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:30, Reply)

I sold mine, the day after this was broadcast.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:32, Reply)

It's always better to go out on a high

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:32, Reply)

BABY BAY-BEH!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:30, Reply)

^ This guy gets it

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:30, Reply)

Wasn't that a spoof?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)

A spoof of what?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:46, Reply)

A nightclub singer doing a cheesy song
You know, like dick in a box?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:47, Reply)

He *was* a club singer, in the old tradition.
When Vic & Bob parodied it on Shooting Stars, this was the sort of thing they were honouring.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:49, Reply)

Here y'are swipe, lose weight with The Monty Boyce Method
www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2387739/Cocaine-doesnt-just-curb-appetite-suppresses-bodys-ability-store-fat-scientists.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:47, Reply)

*puts on jeans I bought when I was 25*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)

The only thing that is more stupid than the daily mail
Is trying to read it in an iPhone. It takes forEVER to scroll
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:54, Reply)

Luckily the entire story is contained withing the URL

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:55, Reply)

Who would admit to the DM that they like a cheeky sniff??

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:58, Reply)

what has footwear got to do with anything?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:05, Reply)

is this a good idea?
www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/real-life/im-spazticus-scots-tv-presenter-2158411
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)

dunno, soz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:51, Reply)

only if it's funny

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:52, Reply)

I don't even have a tube station up in my backwater, I use the busses.
However, from what I've seen in the big lights of Highgate and Holloway Road, the ticket desk aren't usually open anyway.
( Kroney, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:53, Reply)

Good old board liberals al, CQ and psycho will use each others spunk as lube to wring their hands with
Nobody else will give a shit or will actively think it's a good idea
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:55, Reply)

I don't have any personal experience at all, so I'm not really qualified to comment
but it seems to me that, historically, all-powerful unions only ever brought crippling economic problems with them.
( Kroney, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:00, Reply)

Only that?
Not better rights and working conditions for millions of people?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:02, Reply)

Nope

( Kroney, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:03, Reply)

Oh

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:04, Reply)

The tube drivers do have it pretty fucking good compared to millions of people though
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:10, Reply)

I think the principle is that we should aim to bring those millions of people up to the level of these 'over-privileged' tube drivers rather than drag them down to a lower standard of living.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:13, Reply)

It works both ways
Yes of course that's true. But those who are lucky enough to have relatively high paid and undemanding jobs should shut the fuck up about things like not getting TRIPLE time.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:18, Reply)

unfortunately
As with a lot of these sorts of things I agree with Unions in principle but in practise they often weld power in exactly the same way as the "evil bosses" they try to rail against
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:03, Reply)

Really?
These days they mostly look as though they're pissing in the wind.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:05, Reply)

Yes really
The unions (certainly the smaller ones) do a lot of good for the general worker, unfortunately and this is viewed from the outside in Crow's case he blusters and threatens and seems to draw any public sympathy from his cause. Maybe its a PR thing but if we look at the recent case with Unite and potential vote rigging etc.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:07, Reply)

buses

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:55, Reply)

bussses

( Kroney, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 9:59, Reply)

Are you auditioning for windy's tv show above?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Aug 2013, 10:00, Reply)