Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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TBH I'm kinda merrySo tell me about the fun you had.....................sometime ......at one point???????????????
I LOVE YOU ALLLLZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:31,
215 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
So you ended up in Wales?(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:35,
Reply)
Oi leave it out
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:36,
Reply)
*blushes*(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:37,
Reply)
Are you part of the divorce club on here?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:37,
Reply)
Nope. Just in the Dumped Club, and current Captain of the Sadship Enterprise.And Fu Manchu keeps trying to make me top myself.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:39,
Reply)
He's a scamp alrightAre you part of the dead mum club?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:39,
Reply)
No.All these clubs I'm missing out on, I hope she goes soon.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:41,
Reply)
Just trying to get a handle on the real dr frog(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:42,
Reply)
Chatting her up MOAR like(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:43,
Reply)
Hi I'm David. I'm 32. I'm not a real doctor, but I will check your prostate.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:44,
Reply)
MARRtin where have you been all my life?(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:46,
Reply)
Wait a minute I felt hands on BOTH my shoulders! : o(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:47,
Reply)
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:39,
Reply)
Look. I know I asked for a new thread, but this is complete & utter shit. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:38,
Reply)
I'd rather complain about this one. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:40,
Reply)
Start a new one about how much was spent at your wedding.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:39,
Reply)
Be sure to mention how you tried to reign them in.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:42,
Reply)
Jealousy is a boring trait.One you demonstrate admirably.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:43,
Reply)
Thanks. One day I hope someone is kind enough to spunk a load of cash on my failed marriage.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:45,
Reply)
LolsDr frog you should cheer up cos you is well funny
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:46,
Reply)
Nah, that was a bit cuntish. None of my business, and I don't know porr old Battered well enough to be mean. Sorry.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:48,
Reply)
Thankfully I wasn't the one spunking the cash. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:51,
Reply)
Good job, otherwise people would REALLY take the piss.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:55,
Reply)
In other news, I have had a load of DVD's arrive to use on my new Blu Ray machine.Currently watching the original Omen. Can't yet see the benefit of Blu Ray.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:42,
Reply)
Probably because you are playing DVDs you spastic(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:44,
Reply)
+ bent(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:45,
Reply)
Well you really need to learn to be more accurate in your posting(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:51,
Reply)
You really need to learn to be more accurate in attempts to kill yourself. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:52,
Reply)
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:41,
Reply)
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2059811
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:43,
Reply)
Are you seriously trying to claim that your wedding may have caused the closure of the Forth Road Bridge so you could all admire the fireworks?
I'm not in the least bit jealous. You're delusional.
(, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:52, Reply)
The bridge was closed for a whole 3 minutes. By prior arrangement & (apparently) due to the passing of quite a lot of dosh. This is an example of how much of a prick my father-in-law is. All about his personal vanity & opportunities to boast afterwards.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:56,
Reply)
Fucking hell.Your in-laws (ex) aren't Fifers, are they?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:56,
Reply)
dalgety Bay?That's the 'fuck me that's expensive' part of Fife. Not the part where Ma and Pa b3th live. Although my dad used to work in Dalgety Bay.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:00,
Reply)
http://www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/28483704?search_identifier=69a2e8dc4a0c426d8ebd92b550a3bf1d
Don't forget this is Scotland we're talking about.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:05,
Reply)
Something to do with high sided trucks.I don't fucking know. He's a bullshitting lowlands queen. anything is possible.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:59,
Reply)
It's one thing for him to be a "bullshitting lowlands queen." iI's quite another for you to claim as reality the nonsense he spouted and you swallowed about closing a national bridge for the benefit of your wedding.
Anyway, let's move on.
(, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:10, Reply)
I'm not Scottish. I wouldn't know even where this fucking bridge is compared to where my wedding reception was.I'm just relaying what the old cunt told me.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:12,
Reply)
Which you repeat, with great delight, as if true. Let's move on, eh?
(, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:25, Reply)
3 mins? It was jut between trains weren't it?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:59,
Reply)
I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest the Forth Road Bridge doesn't get much in teh way of rail traffic.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:01,
Reply)
I've seen high sided vehicles on the bridge.They only ban them when the wind gets above 40mph.
Which, to be fair, happens quite a lot.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:06,
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Yeah yeah, I missed the road bitIt's amazing those cro magna fuckwits managed one bridge let alone two
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:07,
Reply)
Apparently they've finally finished painting it. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:15,
Reply)
Quite agree.He has let everyone down. Again.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:40,
Reply)
Yeah JUST LIKE YOR FACE(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:40,
Reply)
Evening.I had fun today, doing shopping.
What did I miss here?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:48,
Reply)
Monty killed himself and taken down 14 kitttens with him(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:50,
Reply)
No, Clarks Village.Just as shit as Cribbs really, unless you're looking for designer gear, which I wasn't.
Still, there's no such thing as a bad day shopping.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:53,
Reply)
I thought that shut years ago?You Wessex folk never cease to amaze
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:58,
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Skipping in circles, passing the duchee and being cunts.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:50,
Reply)
This will be (almost) the best best thread EAVAH(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:49,
Reply)
There have been some proper lolsHowever I am bit pisse which might sku the resukts
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:50,
Reply)
I love you two Nakers YOUR my best on here(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:52,
Reply)
Woes(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:52,
Reply)
I have just checked online, turns out this is the best thread ever. Well done everyone!(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:57,
Reply)
What if I offered you....This blu-ray player, and a collection of DVDs?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:52,
Reply)
This thread is so shit, I've just ordered a pair of shoes.I'm going to send Hartley the bill.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:52,
Reply)
Adult shoes or silly sneakers like mince?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:52,
Reply)
A little of column A and a little from column Bwww.clarks.co.uk/p/20352802
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:54,
Reply)
I have never seen a patent desert boot beforeI have a pair of tan suede ones that I love
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:56,
Reply)
I do like a pair of originals.And at half(ish) price, you can't say no.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:56,
Reply)
I'm all about a bargin, spending money for the same of it is a chumps game(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:58,
Reply)
When my old man was in the RAF, him and some mates ended up drunk, Borneo, at a streetside shoeshine stall. His mates, with leather shoes got theirs shined. dad, with suede desert boots, had his shaved with a safety razor. he wondered about this for years.
(, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:02, Reply)
Fuck's sake.You should leave the vinyl tag on when you wear them.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:58,
Reply)
Hang on. I've seen you in shoes.You wear the same shoes as George from the hofmeister adverts.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:07,
Reply)
Proofwww.propstore.com/product/tv-commercial/george-the-hofmeister-bear-costume/
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:09,
Reply)
And your lager isn't even as great as you claim it is.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:13,
Reply)
Shit, that was a terrible drink. Bloody awful. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:14,
Reply)
Just goes to show, with 'clever' advertising, you can sell anything.As I'm sure you know!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:15,
Reply)
An expensive pair then I hope. Pair of Churchs' for work or similar. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:53,
Reply)
Hey, jeffs father in law ent gonna spot him shoes(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:57,
Reply)
I for one would like to hear all about Jeff's wedding.I imagine it was a tasteful and dignified West Country cider festival.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:02,
Reply)
Is Jeffers married? I assumed the Doris was a girlfriend...donno why now(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:06,
Reply)
The important question is how much your wedding cost(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:12,
Reply)
101KNo wait, not that. I think it was about 15k, including a couple of weeks in the Maldives.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:14,
Reply)
We spent more on a week's honeymoon in Cornwall than we did on the wedding.Admittedly, it was an expensive honeymoon, that involved taking all the kids and grandkids along with us to a nice place, but still...
About four grand went on the wedding itself, I think. Best day of my life, too.
/gaaaaaaaaay
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:18,
Reply)
Weddings are super expensive. Ours seemed like a lot, but I. Luke see how to do it cheaper and maintain the quality that we wanted(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:21,
Reply)
They do weddings now?https://www.luke1977.com/
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:22,
Reply)
Even if you don't actually have a reception or anything, it still costs the best part of a grand just to actually *get* married.Fucking rip off.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:24,
Reply)
You didn't have a honeymoon to yourselves?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:22,
Reply)
We knew the kids wouldn't have been able to afford holidays of their own that particular yearthrough one thing or another. Decided to have a big family trip and make a 'do' of it.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:25,
Reply)
Sounds nice , considering you are a less usual couple(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:27,
Reply)
that's a very nice way of saying 'fucking freaky'.Thanks. : D
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:28,
Reply)
Part of me thinks it's a shame you didn't have time to yourselves, part of me thinks what you did was a nice thing to do.Shit. Turning 40 is turning me gay.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:28,
Reply)
I'm gonna bum the shit out of you at your birthday party(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:40,
Reply)
You missed it, but then you would have, as you weren't invited. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:42,
Reply)
Ahh...have a manly pat on the backSo what happened anyway, not disclosing finances? Grew apart? Sexual dviancy?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:19,
Reply)
Chomps shared and we all helped, maybe we can help you.(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:37,
Reply)
Don't most weddings last a day?Unless you're one of Sportscow's lot. Their weddings last about a week, I think.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:20,
Reply)
Hic ................hic(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:53,
Reply)
Then fuck off & talk to your inlaws then. Go on. Pretend you like them.Even though your father-in-law is looking at you, always thinking 'you cunt, you've fucked my daughter. Given the opportunity I will kill you for this if I can and get away with it'.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 21:58,
Reply)
Nah, all good. Been with micro all afternoon, with her all morning tomorrow, same on Sat etc. Then it's her second birthday on Tues.
Good times.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:09,
Reply)
Damn right. Everyday = something new. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:13,
Reply)
Monday = tantrum over toysTuesday = tantrum over food
Wednesday = tantrum over story
Thursday = tantrum over television
etc...
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:22,
Reply)
Nakers has got to learn.He can't always get his own way.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:24,
Reply)
It's funny how everyone that has actual experience of having a child loves itAnd yet, those who have had no first hand experience still think they know better...
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:25,
Reply)
I don't think I know better.I just know the many, many reasons why it would be a terrible choice for me.
Some people would rather eat their own arm than move a dog into their house, but I don't keep trying to point out why they're wrong.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:27,
Reply)
Nah don't get me wrong, I understand why people think they shouldn't have kids. Their personal reasons may stack up But the ones about children, don't. No one knows what have a child will be like, it's terrifying and probably the biggest decision you'll ever make, but...for those of us that have taken that punt it's the most rewarding thing we've done. For all the shit, mini ape easily makes up for it by making me very very happy : )
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:34,
Reply)
YES. ^This^I still think you're cunt
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:35,
Reply)
That's probably nature's way of making sure you don't kill them or leave them in a shop doorway.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:36,
Reply)
I left my wife in hammersmith last month, I clean forgot about her till she called to ask wher I was and i was at home(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:38,
Reply)
Seasick Steve's lesser known... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:41,
Reply)
Wrong. Mind you, those on here that have met her (Monty, Lusty, LiC, Swipe, Stunned, Kroney) may disagree, but she's a very happy kid.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:25,
Reply)
Don't doubt it, mate. Enjoy it, they grow up quick. Not so long ago my youngest was singing songs with me. Three weeks ago, she narrowly avoided death and wrote off my car.
(, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:36, Reply)
Shit.Rather your car than your daughter, though, eh?
Glad she's alright.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:37,
Reply)
Serves you right for letting a 7 year old drive. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:38,
Reply)
I had my hand up her arse at the time, so no excuse for wrong turns.
(, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:42, Reply)
And for driving a car worth fifty quid.She actually only ran out of petrol.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:43,
Reply)
Glad to hear it didn't result in significant damage.Like you say, cars are just tin and rubber.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:44,
Reply)
And that was just Battered.(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:57,
Reply)
You are in Wiltshire, so they are both your parents AND your in-laws.ZING!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:02,
Reply)
Bye.Going to delete my account and kill myself/go to bed. Still deciding.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:15,
Reply)
Should I have a beer? Perhaps watch Omen 2?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:26,
Reply)
I had asked myself this 10 mins ago...I now have a beer(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:28,
Reply)
Thanks Jeff.I know I can always rely on you for the right answer.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:29,
Reply)
You know what I'm like. Speak as I find.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:45,
Reply)
That would have been funny.If you'd have not struck through the Y.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:46,
Reply)
Well, I'll call 'ninja' but the damage is done.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:47,
Reply)
Yeah well, beer and iPhone dunt mix well(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:47,
Reply)
iPhones don't work too well with any kind of liquid.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:48,
Reply)
So where are you drinking tomorrowGloucester Road? Park Street? Or will you be trippin' the light fantastic down the Reflex!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:49,
Reply)
Haha, staying with my sister in Clifton, trying wedding wine and cocktails (
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:51,
Reply)
Get down the Rummer or the Milk Thistle for a late one!(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:52,
Reply)
Actually I was thrown out of Reflex last time I was there(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:52,
Reply)
Reflex is terrible. Went there during a stag do once.Mind you, also went a very good curry house the same night; one that Jeff and I have visited since. Top grub.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 22:59,
Reply)
Of course it's terrible I was at least a student At the time(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 23:02,
Reply)
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