so mexican politician Ana María Jiménez Ortiz is against gay marriage because gay people "can't look at each other during sex"
this is shockingly ignorant on many levels. when was the last time you saw or did something ignorant?

alt: blagging. do you admit when you know nothing, or do you make it up as you go along?

altalt: raisins. what's the point?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 14:36, 165 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Straight people can't look at each other during sex too, it's called marriage.
Alt. I always try to educate myself about a subject I don't know about, unless it's shit. Like nut tolerances.

Altalt. You missed the point, there's no raisin currantly.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 14:40, Reply)

Peanuts are not actually nuts so the “may contain nuts” is, strictly speaking, untrue.

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 14:45, Reply)

My tolerance for this is low.

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:22, Reply)

this was quite good
for a muppet
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 14:45, Reply)

Grape job eh?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:22, Reply)

don't wine about it

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:25, Reply)

Clicking this.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:07, Reply)

*Doffs cap*

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:23, Reply)

Yes you can..?
Not sure how the scissor sisters do it mind.

alt. I will admit if I don't know something, then go to Wikipedia for the cold hard FACTS

altatl. Nice in Christmas cake. Horrid in curry.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 14:49, Reply)

it's worth googling what she said
because the comments underneath some articles are LOL
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 14:51, Reply)

The thing is I have done a lady up the bot bot
while in an "advanced" missionary position so surely the chutneys would be able to do the same negating her "cant look in the eyes point"
Admittedly while doing the aforementioned I couldn't look the lady in question in the eyes as I was concentrating

Alt... blagging is best.

I have no opinion on dried fruit (see point 1 lolzers)
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 14:51, Reply)

Every day on here
That's why I login!

Alt:
Working in IT you have to blag every day as once you have hte "IT" tag you are expected to know every single server/product inside out

AltAlt:
I like a bit of raisin with some nuts.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 14:57, Reply)

Oh all the time, particularly on here...
Alt: I tend to keep my gob shut if I know nothing about a subject.
Altalt: Drying fruit is a useful way of preserving it.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 14:57, Reply)

There is a point to raisins, I have stated that I'm not much of a big chocolate fan
and that every film I go to watch at the cinemas I fall asleep during, but it wouldn't be the same without a box of chocolate coated raisins takes me right back to my childhood :D
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 14:58, Reply)

you're fucking rank, you are
raisins are the reason you can't eat revels in the cinema. raisins and coffee ones. unless you want to spit half the packet over the person in front of you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:04, Reply)

You may be right, looking at your record for getting things so right with food................



.............wait it's Swipe isn't it?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:06, Reply)

Just now there was an advert for a 'service' where you text 'kiss name1 name2' to a number, and they'll text back to you what the likelyhood of them kissing are or some shit like that.
And it costs £4.50 a week. That's super mental.

I don't get how people in Jeremy Kyle World get laid so much, I wish I lived on a council estate.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:01, Reply)

Are people daft enough to pay for that service?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:02, Reply)

it'll be aimed towards 10-12 year olds, so yes.

( Kroney, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:03, Reply)

So OG* then?
*Non-approved Rory word
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:04, Reply)

Googling "Jamster" and they don't even have multi-listings, or whatever it's called, on google.
App Stores must have fucked them royally.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:06, Reply)

and i bet you can't ever get off it, either
they'll be paying £4.50 a week FOREVER.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:05, Reply)

So you've got £4.50 a week less to spend on sushi

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:05, Reply)

That's a whole piece !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:07, Reply)

not at sushi samba, it ain't
that shit's about £9.50 a piece
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:08, Reply)

What would you do though if you were Gonz.
Go for two weeks without knowing if some bird from Hollyoaks would kiss him, or have the sushi?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:10, Reply)

the answer to any question is BOTH

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:18, Reply)

Well, let us put this to the test.
Swipe, would you rather fuck Lisa Riley or Bella Emberg?

What! BOTH. God.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:23, Reply)

BOTH AT THE SAME TIME

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:25, Reply)

And _that_ is why the likes of me and you are good for the economy.
*Might be buying a new iphone and ipad this month*
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:24, Reply)

i need a new ipod
the little fucker died this morning, for no reason
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:28, Reply)

They're always popping up on ukhotdeals
www.hotukdeals.com/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:47, Reply)

To rich for my blood then, unless that 1 piece contained a whole lobster.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:16, Reply)

h +e down at the massage parlour.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:08, Reply)

In my day you had to do some working out of numbers on a piece of paper to find out if someone LOVES you
Erm... apparently.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:07, Reply)

Liking the sig

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:33, Reply)

I'll make you one of these Gonz
You can rent it for four quid a week.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paper_fortune_teller
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:09, Reply)

1981 lols

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:11, Reply)

I don't even have to click that link to know what it is

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:13, Reply)

*gasp* How do you do it, Holmes?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:14, Reply)

It's a classic car.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:14, Reply)

I JUST KNEW IT

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:17, Reply)

Always on daytime telly they have ads for these services
or gambling, or charity.

The people watching have no jobs.

Any wonder this country is in debt?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:15, Reply)

You think the country is in debt because some unemployed people gamble or are feckless with their meagre incomes?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:21, Reply)

well, plus Government over borrowing etc.
Also, Wonga.

*goes to Wikipedia*
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:23, Reply)

Cos they live like dogs, some of them
"If it can't be eaten, drunk, or fucked, then piss on it".
The towelling track suits are so they have easy access to each others genitals at all times (either gender, they're not fussy).
**puts down copy of Daily Mail, shakes head to clear it**
wait...whut?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:18, Reply)

They could use a mirror. That actually made me lol,
Why did the Mexican stab his wife? He wanted Tequila!
Alt, bit of both, sometimes when someone asks me something technical about, say light, during a shoot, and I've fuck all idea, I'll just bullshit. Everyone does it.
Altalt, raison d'etre, to cover in chocolate, or yoghurt. Lovely
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:07, Reply)

Micro is going through a food phase of raisins. Bastard things get everywhere. Almost as bad as when I feed her cous cous.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:09, Reply)

I made the mistake a while ago of leaving birthday cake in a party bag for both of mine
When I got home it looked like the cakes had exploded
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:13, Reply)

I made micro her birthday cake last week. Every meal since then she asks for chocolate cake & lychees.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:16, Reply)

Victorianlols
Mine are "into" Nutella at the moment and want this all the time
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:18, Reply)

fill a nappy with it then eat it in front of them

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:21, Reply)

hahaha!
Nice
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:21, Reply)

& shout "NOW YOU OWN IT"

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:24, Reply)

Clicks all round, gentlemen

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:25, Reply)

I'm trying to find a way to say that mine is obsessed with salami that doesn't sound 'lol' and can't :o(

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:36, Reply)

Milano is best of all the salamis

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:37, Reply)

/ac

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:38, Reply)

I favour salame di napoli or that one with the whole green peppercorns in it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:43, Reply)

better that than daddy's chocolate starfish
or uncle stunned's chocolate starfish
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:39, Reply)

Like these?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:40, Reply)

kids love that shit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:18, Reply)

i've been banned from buying "millions" for the nieces
they drop them everywhere and my sister-in-law hates them
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:20, Reply)

I don't know what millions are.
I'm guessing it's a jumbo pack of hundreds and thousands.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:21, Reply)

you're not far off, actually
joke backfires with accuracy
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:24, Reply)

It may not just be them dropping them
I think that there is enough e numbers in a packet to send a elephant Hyperactive
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:26, Reply)

as the aunt
that is NOT my problem

that is revenge for years of big brother torture
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:28, Reply)

haha I like your style*



*not your hair style of course
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:30, Reply)

hahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:32, Reply)

I feel all embarrassed now, I'm turning bright red*

*wait scratch that, that was her hair style
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:35, Reply)

get them to wash it all down with a couple of cans of red bull
(just as you are leaving obvs)
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:36, Reply)

Utter nonsense.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:40, Reply)

alright
Se'sly, has that politician never watched any gay porn?

She's weird.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:25, Reply)

I havent watched any male gay porn

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:25, Reply)

Too busy staring in it, eh.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:26, Reply)

ooooooof
that be an unfortunate typo for hamsterse
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:28, Reply)

You knows it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:29, Reply)

^ denying too much ^

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:29, Reply)

Not at all
Just don't see why I'd waste valuable porn watching time seeing two blokes going at it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:32, Reply)

Eh?
Neither have I.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:34, Reply)

I saw meatspin.com
that's about it
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:35, Reply)

Not clicking that soz
Might be an old car
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:36, Reply)

you wish

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:37, Reply)

I've seen that. I displayed a worrying level of tolerance.

( Kroney, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:40, Reply)

strikethrough tolerance
replace with arousal
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:40, Reply)

Sorry to disappoint.
But I think the internet has robbed me of my capacity for being shocked. I am inured.
( Kroney, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:43, Reply)

there was a brilliant post on here about that
here:



The internet has a lot to answer for....

I remember going round to my mates house when i was about 14'ish and seeing the Athena Tennis girl poster for the first time. Spoffed in my pants, and burned the image into my retinas, so i could store it in my minds 'wank bank' for future reference during 'personal loving moments'.

Nowadays, the internet has spoilt all that. This was a conversation at work recently...

"Oh my god! Come and have a look at this. Someone has emailed me a picture of 2 lesbians with strapons, being pissed on by a midget on a horse."

"What sort of horse is it?"

".....A brown one"

"Nah, can't be arsed"

(
turtles head is touching cloth poked a dwarf on the forehead at
, Tue 30 Jan 2007, 17:26, I like this!, More)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:44, Reply)

I'm just fucking around innit.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:37, Reply)

around men, hamsters, my own fist...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:39, Reply)

ZING!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:41, Reply)

if ever a man were into self-anal-fisting
that man was dozer
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:43, Reply)

Dozer. I might send you a box of these
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2408352/1980s-Funny-Feet-ice-cream-favourite-returns-shops-web-campaign-7-000-fans.html
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:45, Reply)

You could share them with Stunned.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:47, Reply)

Nothing funny about my foot?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:48, Reply)

I can lend you some if you want?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:40, Reply)

You're alright ta

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:44, Reply)

that's not what you say when he's not here

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:45, Reply)

Bit rude.
Himjim was trying to be helpful. You could have given more than a cursory refusal, at least.
( Kroney, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:46, Reply)

I get a fantastic newsletter every week with all the ropey titles they peddle out
New favourites include:

Call of Büty - Black Tops

and

Onesie Direction
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:47, Reply)

Fucking hell

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:57, Reply)

you have to LOL at onesie direction

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:58, Reply)

After my horror this morning it'll be a long time before I find benders amusing in any way, bel'ee dat.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:04, Reply)

i think he should be applauded for his entrepreneurial skills

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:06, Reply)

I think he should be executed.
I've felt sick all day. I am genuinely appalled.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:07, Reply)

imagine the sort of person who takes him up on it

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:10, Reply)

*imagines Battered*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:11, Reply)

christ no
even a toothless blow job giving tramp has limits
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:12, Reply)

lol

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:15, Reply)

YES PLEASE!!!!!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:47, Reply)

This might be more your thing?
www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/sep/03/40-days-of-dating-date-a-friend
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:35, Reply)

wtf?
what kind of a normal couple sees a relationship counsellor once a week??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:38, Reply)

+ before they've got married

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:39, Reply)

well yeah
if the idea is to build a normal relationship, why see a counsellor?

that is not what people do at the start of a new relationship.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:40, Reply)

NEEDS MOAR BUMMING

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:41, Reply)

*bums*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:46, Reply)

*reaches round*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:51, Reply)

*thanks you for your gentlemanly consideration*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:52, Reply)

self-obsessed yank city dwellers I guess
fob your issues onto your analyst, paying heftily for the privilege.
Normal people would use their friends.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:45, Reply)

heh
you said anal
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:45, Reply)

cyst

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:46, Reply)

and like the shopkeeper in Mr Benn, you appeared.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:48, Reply)

ooooooh
just got a massive bottle of pink champers from a client to say thank you.

this has made my DAY.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:48, Reply)

Brand?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:49, Reply)

Nah. Just some light burning with a hot lighter.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:50, Reply)

what did they feed you for lunch?
you're ON FIRE
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:50, Reply)

lager and insulin

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:51, Reply)

Red heads!!!!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:51, Reply)

something about ron weasley

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:52, Reply)

Herniane.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:52, Reply)

we should go for pies soon
that was excellent
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:54, Reply)

+ hair

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:54, Reply)

why thank you
i do have lovely hair

or did you mean stunned?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:56, Reply)

Yes and yes.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:57, Reply)

where is he?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:57, Reply)

has he not called you?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:58, Reply)

Is your arse still bleeding?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:49, Reply)

that's for amateurs

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:50, Reply)

"Bleeding hearts", so to speak.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:51, Reply)

shove it up your cockend and shit out Liberace

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 15:50, Reply)

Would someone please call Camden council and ask for retrospective planning permission for the turd I've just laid?
Thanks.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:05, Reply)

hahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:06, Reply)

Mate, if it had been seen off the middle eastern coastline then Syria would have panicked.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:13, Reply)

I can't believe you're admitting to having sex with Plumdozer on here.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:07, Reply)

it wasn't exactly a well-kept secret

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:09, Reply)

I started a thread.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:16, Reply)