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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Yeah whad up money grip?
My mother wants to know what I want for my 40th and I haven't a clue, can you help me come up with some ideas please? Ideally ones not involving bent pakis, thanks in advance x

Alt: who or what did you think was the best thing ever when you were sixteen? LOL wanking LOL!!!!!!!*

*not lol
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:14, 262 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Ask for UPVC windows for wherever you end up residing.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:16, Reply)
*stands in rain*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:16, Reply)
Alt: weed. And driving.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:16, Reply)
A new samurai sword

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:17, Reply)
I've got about 6 swords, I really don't need any more.
Apart from an SS ceremonial sword which I still urgently need.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:19, Reply)
Yes. Urgently. Says the bloke who ate a shit frozen pizza last night.
Priorities man. Priorities.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:20, Reply)
Imagine how good a frozen pizza would taste sliced up with an SS sword.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:23, Reply)
Dr Oetker's final solution

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:25, Reply)
Ha ha

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:25, Reply)
Klaus BarbieCue Chicken

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:26, Reply)
tee hee

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:27, Reply)
Burger Belsen

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:28, Reply)
with 'Arbeit macht fries'

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:30, Reply)
POW!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:31, Reply)
OH BRAVO SIR

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:34, Reply)
I like this

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:27, Reply)
What's the worst thing about being a black jew?
Sitting at the back of the oven...
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:29, Reply)
Pretty much my all time favourite joke that one.
Apart from the Noddy Holder one.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:40, Reply)
Some sweet rims for your ride
That'd be BOSS!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:18, Reply)
Terrible way to describe Lusty.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:19, Reply)
What, 'Boss'? Seems reasonable to me.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:20, Reply)
Imagine how boss she'd look with sweet rims though

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:20, Reply)
He could ask his mums how they like rimming?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:23, Reply)
Actually I could ask for driving lessons.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:19, Reply)
I wouldn't bother.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:20, Reply)
Could do
Ooh, or you could ask for a go in a microlite.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:21, Reply)
Terrible noncing of Battered's daughter there.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:24, Reply)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:28, Reply)
I was thinking that for my 30th too.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:24, Reply)
I don't know how you people manage, I really dont.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:24, Reply)
You can get a lot of cabs/trains/buses for the running and price of a car.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:26, Reply)
How much is a normal tube ticket these days?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:26, Reply)
Oyster card all day travel is 8 quid, I think.
Running a car isn't as expensive as Gonz thinks.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:29, Reply)
Fucking hell
£40 a week?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:29, Reply)
My Metro pass for a month costs £35

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:29, Reply)
Yeah, but your "Metro" pass only goes to places in Newcastle or wherever it is you live.
Somewhere Northern and ghastly, at any rate.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:32, Reply)
Also
cheap
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:34, Reply)
Nah. That's bollocks. It can cost a lot more.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:32, Reply)
How much does it cost on average?
Given that i'd still need my oyster card anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:37, Reply)
It entirely depends on what car you have, how long you've been driving and wher you live.
It's utterly pointless to try giving averages.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:40, Reply)
but wikipedia says...

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:42, Reply)
There's nowhere to park at my work
nor by my flat, so it'd be insanely expensive for me.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:41, Reply)
Don't bother.
You'd then have to get a car.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:25, Reply)
An antique map of London/UK

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:20, Reply)
Already got.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:20, Reply)
An antique map of the Benelux nations

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:21, Reply)
Not even in my top ten freezer manufacturers

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:23, Reply)
Got x 6

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:28, Reply)
Shoes!
www.size.co.uk/search/jordan
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:20, Reply)
Those red Jordan IVs are fucking lovely.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:21, Reply)
The reviews are shit though.
Question marks over the quality.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:22, Reply)
Oh really?
Nikes have never been as robust as Adidas or Pumas. The one exception being Air Force Ones which are fucking immortal.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:26, Reply)
HarrisonFordlols

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:27, Reply)
I am loving the Pumas I purchased.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:27, Reply)
Little calf just got some old skool blue Pumas
They look fucking cool
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:28, Reply)
No question.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:35, Reply)
The new range of New Balance shoes are nice.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:28, Reply)
Stunned should invest in a pair soon

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:29, Reply)
They have some all green ones out at the mo which are great.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:30, Reply)
The suede 574s?
www.size.co.uk/brand/new-balance/
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:32, Reply)
Yup, 'irl' it's a fantastic shade of the old 'green' there

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:34, Reply)
I saw some all burgundy Puma Suedes on some bird the other day
and actually followed her down the street without realising I was doing it, just gawping at them.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:29, Reply)
The most Dozer-prick thread of the year award goes to you lot.
I'm ashamed of you all.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:31, Reply)
Not only do how I like how they look, the middle aged part of me finds them very comfortable.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:31, Reply)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:34, Reply)
you're such a child

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:25, Reply)
You're right, really I should get some fucking boating shoes or some Sebago loafers and some 'Oakleys'.
And a pink Hackett shirt. And then change my name to Ben fucking Fogle.

And then shoot myself in the face.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:30, Reply)
There is nothing wrong with Sebago loafers.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:32, Reply)
Are they American ones you can live in?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:33, Reply)
hahaha!
I fucking love you, man
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:32, Reply)
Terrible bullying here
I'd never shoot my own beautiful face
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:52, Reply)
You'd probably miss.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:53, Reply)
hahahahaha!
click
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:55, Reply)
how about a nice gum job?
do you want something you can wear, like a watch, or rare sneakers? or something musical?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:20, Reply)
I don't know what you want for your birthday either, soz.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:21, Reply)
Maybe your mum will take you and your chums out for a Wimpy.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:21, Reply)
A photo session for you and jr
Driving lessons is also a good idea
Top notch cognac
YM on YM sex tape
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:22, Reply)
a really nice photo of the sprog would be cute
imagine how much she'd love posing for it!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:23, Reply)
That was what I thought
You could get a really good picture for your soon-to-be new gaff
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:24, Reply)
Dress her up like a boy and it'd pay for itself at the TopOfThePops reunion.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:25, Reply)
now then

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:25, Reply)
Bit chavvy, no?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:31, Reply)
No, a good photographer will get some cracking pics of her that you'll cherish

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:32, Reply)

cherish wank like Michael Le Vell over
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:33, Reply)
Heh heh.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:34, Reply)
I've been trying to think of an 'Another Le Vell' joke all day but have got nowhere :o(

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:36, Reply)
Has it been bugging you?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:37, Reply)
oh HO!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:38, Reply)
you fucking parents sicken me
Wahhh wahhh kiddie this... Fuck em* get something just for yourself for once.


* please don't literally fuck em
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:35, Reply)
Fucks sake Bonzo
You could have mentioned THAT part earlier
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:38, Reply)
Soz...

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:39, Reply)
not if it's done nicely, i reckon
AND you can give your ma a print of it for christmas, thereby saving money for ANOTHER SWORD
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:33, Reply)
Yes.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:34, Reply)
Yes

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:34, Reply)
^this^
ghastly things, run towards the camera, fall about laughing, fucking kill yourself
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:34, Reply)
That's a dreadful idea.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:34, Reply)
You can't go wrong here:
www.yurtshop.co.uk/
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:22, Reply)
I've already got you a birthday preset.
It's a final solution at Dignitas.

Not the flight though. Loads of people will happily donate towards the cost of that.
.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:23, Reply)
*sponsors*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:26, Reply)
we should get a kickstarter page see how many people donate

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:28, Reply)
No need, we've already hit our target.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:34, Reply)
Home brew equipment/kits.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:24, Reply)
A Titian

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:25, Reply)
bless you

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:25, Reply)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:27, Reply)
What you should do, is have a party.
Then your guests will feel obliged to bring you gifts.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:26, Reply)
You need to tread carefully here - it's probably a test.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:26, Reply)
either a £1 or £1000 pound voucher for Amazon

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:27, Reply)
Which you can use to buy homebrew

(PsychoChomp, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:28, Reply)
no.

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:29, Reply)
You can.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:29, Reply)
Nah he's best off asking for a video of all his mums together, oiled up, Internet be crazy for that shit.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:29, Reply)
two mums one cup

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:29, Reply)
what type of oil though?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:32, Reply)
whale

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:32, Reply)
whale oil be damned

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:34, Reply)
ha!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:37, Reply)
Click. You cunt. Pub lol.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:40, Reply)
\o/

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:41, Reply)
I'll get you a five-pound voucher to spend with Gum-ga Din.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:28, Reply)
officelolling

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:29, Reply)
I thought it was clever.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:30, Reply)
ewwwwwww
*bleaches eyes*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:31, Reply)
some chutney and a ferret

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:29, Reply)
this^

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:30, Reply)
What about a really nice bowtie?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:29, Reply)

t
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:30, Reply)
Spiders from mars

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:33, Reply)
Definitely something from here
www.1944shop.com/contents/en-us/d105.html
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:31, Reply)
Niiiice

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:32, Reply)
Experience Hendrix: The Best of Jimi Hendrix
this way you get the well known songs so wont have to carry all the other records around...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:31, Reply)
Alt: Some girl from the year above that worked in Sunglass Hut, wasted £150 in there to impress her.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:31, Reply)
got your transitions patented rape glasses now though!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:32, Reply)
YEP!
need some new ones though, my prescription has changed. Dunno if I should get shitty normal old fashioned non adaptive glasses because of the bullying.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:36, Reply)
Let me do you a favour. Get clear lenses.

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:51, Reply)
or fully functioning eyes

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:54, Reply)
How about the new xbox? This game looks like your kind of thing.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPQziY-uJfg
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:33, Reply)
Money
Alt. 16 I was mainly smoking weed, drinking, quitting college and coming out. Quite an intense year.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:35, Reply)
You're still doing most of those things now, aren't you?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:36, Reply)
I fear change

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:36, Reply)
credit cards only eh?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:41, Reply)
Straight into my slot

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:42, Reply)
if it aint broke...

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:41, Reply)
Pretty much, yes.
Worst part's over though.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:41, Reply)
Analhymenlols

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:42, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:36, Reply)
mum?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:36, Reply)
hahahah

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:37, Reply)
Brilliant.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:41, Reply)
There's a shop on Commercial Road has one of these in the window.
Always been half tempted.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:43, Reply)
Surely all the smoke would go in your eyes?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:44, Reply)
Platter lolz

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:45, Reply)
I thought "The Platters" as well but you beat me to it ages ago

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:49, Reply)
I'm guessing the inhaling takes care of that
dunno about the exhale - take it off? Shut your eyes? *shrug*
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:45, Reply)
Shit it out

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:53, Reply)
I hate any sort of weed smoking paraphernalia, just roll a joint pricks.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:58, Reply)
Nah bollocks a decent pipe is a good thing to have around

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:04, Reply)
I can't be arsed to read through all that
has anyone suggested a new hair drier yet?
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:41, Reply)
nice

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:48, Reply)
A pencil sharpener in the shape of a pewter cannon

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:48, Reply)
YOU@RE ZARKING FROOD!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:03, Reply)
The new Depeche Mode album

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:49, Reply)
A Limahl style haircut

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:50, Reply)
Typical 'zarking frood' post here

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:24, Reply)
AIDS

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:50, Reply)
You've got a nerve showing your face round here after the penis you made of yourself last night

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:59, Reply)
*checks*
I've seen worse.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:01, Reply)
What is it?

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:01, Reply)
One of the most excruciating 'wakki showcases' we've seen in a while.
Well, since Francis fucked off anyway;

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2069589
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:02, Reply)
That was a monuMENTAL waste of time.
For both them and me
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:26, Reply)
Saying that, they did kind of have it down

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:38, Reply)
Which one is he an alt of?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:02, Reply)
I wish I knew

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:06, Reply)
Yeah nice one 'Gerry Marsden'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:20, Reply)
Stylish, Naxi AND practical!
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/WW2-German-SS-Elite-Italian-Camo-Kharkov-Parka-Jacket-Winter-Coat-Original-/321189347568?pt=UK_Collectables_Militaria_LE&hash=item4ac86080f0
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:50, Reply)
:o

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 16:53, Reply)
whoah that is excellent

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:01, Reply)
It has rabbit fur Monty!
Rabbit fur! That may have been on the Russian Front.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:05, Reply)
It's ace

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:06, Reply)
someone may have been wearing it while they murdered innocent women and children!!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:20, Reply)
You'll push the price up with that sort of talk.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:21, Reply)
i pushed my price up your mum last night

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:23, Reply)
Innocent my arse.
Parsimonious usurers MORE LIKE.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:23, Reply)
What's happening in here then?
I have been forced to do actual work today. Awful

Present ideas eh? How about a nice Toby jug

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/picturesoftheday/7938457/Pictures-of-the-day-11-August-2010.html?image=9
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:27, Reply)
Yeah I've been working too, shit innit

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:30, Reply)
Passes the time, but a touch boring.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:32, Reply)
But enough about 'reading your posts'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:37, Reply)
Could be worse...
Could be that TALK lot :(
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:39, Reply)
Strange lot there. I had a look, they don't actually 'converse' much.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:41, Reply)
I have a lot of time for some of those chaps.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:45, Reply)
We should pop over there and make the conversation flow a bit more.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:52, Reply)
I got a 'fuck off cunt' the only time I posted I think. At least here I am grudgingly endured.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:59, Reply)
I say! Steady on! I'm alright.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:40, Reply)
Sorry what was that? I nodded off for a second there.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:45, Reply)
I said, oh, never mind.
:(
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:49, Reply)
Night classes in financial management

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:41, Reply)
night or weekend or online courses are always a good thing
i am going to do either another masters or a maths a-level soon. the brain should be kept busy. plus it helps the cv if needed.

but maybe not for a birthday present.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:46, Reply)
Are you trying to fill the gaping void left by your lack of a child?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:47, Reply)
Maybe Swipe wants to present Countdown.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:48, Reply)
i have an active brain
i like to keep it that way. there are millions of things to learn about, why stick with what you already know?

i might do psychology or philosophy next, or possibly classics.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:49, Reply)
I can thoroughly recommend classics

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:57, Reply)
Cambridge Latin Course lols

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:58, Reply)
are you trying to be rory and failing?
believe me, after a week spent with 4 of them, i have no idea why anyone would want one
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:49, Reply)
A static home in Crawley

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:44, Reply)
A new television.
You were moaning that your telly was on the blink.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:45, Reply)
He should get one with a built in VHS player

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:48, Reply)
And a remote control on a wire.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:50, Reply)
Or a blu ray player to watch his DVDs on.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:56, Reply)
Oh that's a good idea
My family don't spend that kind of money on presents though, 40th or not.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:54, Reply)
Job done.
Send the old dear to Richer Sounds, get a new telly, then put a record on.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:56, Reply)
It's Monty Boyce!
You know, off the Internet!

Is it too late to join in this thread?

mr b3th asked me the other night what I wanted to do for my 40th. I was forced to admit I don't have enough friends to warrant a party. Sad times.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:49, Reply)
Go to the pier!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:49, Reply)
with us!
we're your friends!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:50, Reply)
So, you're friends with me, but not b3th.
You old meanie.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:52, Reply)
Nobody's friends with me.
I'm destined to die alone.
Fairly soon, I should think.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:52, Reply)
Your friends from computer club would go to your party.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:53, Reply)
I gave that up when I started my new job.
I don't even have them any more : (
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:54, Reply)
s'alright
i was lying to you anyway
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:55, Reply)
By myself? Are you mad?
I'll look like a right 'Rolf'
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:50, Reply)
You could go to a different Harvester for a special birthday 'tea'.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:51, Reply)
Early bird special!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:04, Reply)

4

7
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:50, Reply)
This does raise the point that the old feller will be 70 in a year and a bit.
Assuming he lasts that long, I'd probably better start thinking about something special to do for that.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:51, Reply)
A new bus pass holder maybe.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:52, Reply)
He refuses to get a bus pass
on the grounds that he's not 'old'.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:53, Reply)
He's about the same age as my dad

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:06, Reply)
Is your dad single?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:09, Reply)
Nah sorry, mumsie is still fighting fit

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:13, Reply)

She certainly is.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:15, Reply)
Textbook.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:16, Reply)
Like redrafting his will?

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:53, Reply)
alright b3th!
I'd go to your party.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:56, Reply)
We couldn't afford an open bar, sorry.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:57, Reply)
Oh right, get fucked then.

Not really.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 17:58, Reply)
I'd love a party
but honestly, most of my friends are in other countries or on the internet. I could have a skype party, but that's about it.

EDIT: waah waah beaker poor me
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:01, Reply)
Well this is the most depressing post of the day

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:02, Reply)
It pretty much is, isn't it?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:03, Reply)
I'd come to your party
If it was in London and I was free and there were vol au vents and orange drink
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:04, Reply)
Trouble is, apart from the whole 'no friends' thing,
it's a Saturday in December. Most people will already be tied up with xmas parties and that.

It also means that restaurants will be either booked out or overpriced.

Stupid December birthday.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:06, Reply)
Yeah I'm already double booked the weekend before Christmas
How about a house party?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:07, Reply)
Even *I'm* busy then
Not that anyone invites me to anything anymore :(
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:08, Reply)
Maybe if you didn't sit in the corner clutching a bottle of whiskey and weeping you'd get more invites?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:12, Reply)
I think it's more to do with the trousers on my head
And telling everyone how I'm not over my ex before chancing my arm with married older women.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:14, Reply)
*NOW* it's a party!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:16, Reply)
As long as there's a trousers on head moment you *know* you're having a good time.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:18, Reply)
I knocked something over in the kitchen when I was emptying the dishwasher
and caught myself shouting "NOW YOU OWN IT, SHITPANTS!" at no-one in particular.

I blame you for this entirely.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:18, Reply)
\o/

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:23, Reply)
A skype party is essentially getting pissed alone infront of the computer?
Just don't migrate to Cam4 after a few gins
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:04, Reply)
What's cam4 or do I not want to know?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:06, Reply)
People getting naked on cam
Some for tips.

Slags
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:51, Reply)
I'd go to your party.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:04, Reply)
But only if I wasn't invited.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:10, Reply)
\o/

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:10, Reply)
DID SOMEONE MENTION A PARTY?

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:17, Reply)
A tea party.
Is tea a herb?
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:18, Reply)
I....I Really................I don't know (cries)

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:19, Reply)
It's a drink. We learnt this earlier, didn't we?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:20, Reply)
*sniffs* It is?

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:21, Reply)
Look, if you spent half as much energy on learning as you do on trying to impress your 'friends' you wouldn't be in this mess.
Would you. WOULD YOU?
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:22, Reply)
He should spend more energy deleting his account and killing himself

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:25, Reply)
This, but the other way around.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:26, Reply)
Yeah well I went to the NEW THREAD
Your still here you bent spastic
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 18:27, Reply)

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