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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Out of the blue
I got a multimedia message from someone I'd not heard from for years a couple of days ago. It was a brief mobile phone clip of a little brown man getting caught fucking a donkey and running off. Rather amusing but an odd way to break silence after such a long time, I thought.

What last surprised you*?

*apart from discovering that Bonzo has an unhealthy interest in everyone's bollocks
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:40, 272 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
First!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:41, Reply)
Near the top

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:42, Reply)
i kind of want to make a joke about a sex tape
but sadly it is most fitting for me and greggs hat out of anyone here. which is not a good thing. by any standards.

nothing. ninja lawyers are never taken by surprise.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:43, Reply)
wait, there's a sex tape of greggs hat?
That could be the wrongest thing in existence. Wronger even than Goatworrier or Chobb, and that's pretty wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:44, Reply)
if there is, it has nothing to do with me
actually come to think of it, he did have a video on his old phone of himself fisting some girl. not that i ever saw it.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:44, Reply)
So you mean he told you about it?
but not in the context of showing you?

I mean, neither approach is exactly quality relationship material, but in what context could just telling you about it be considered anything other than fucktarded?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:47, Reply)
i'm trying to remember
it was definitely our second date and he was looking for something on his phone. then mentioned it as he scrolled past it. i didn't realise it was a self-taken video and thought it was something from the internet, which was bad enough. but then i realised.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:49, Reply)
"haha, so, yah, it's deffo in here somewhere
Wills and Ginger and Jonty and I snorting port out of Bunter's arse in Daddy's club last week ... sure I've got it .. oh, look, here there's me wearing the au pair like a glove"

yeah, I can see why you were so deserate to keep him.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:54, Reply)
I love you

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:55, Reply)
^ gay ^

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:56, Reply)
How can you not love badger?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:57, Reply)
because he's a terrible human being?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:59, Reply)
Well, APART from that

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:59, Reply)
But a mighty fine mustelid!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:00, Reply)
ha!
it's totally the opposite. he's much much more an east end wide boy and desperately proud of being working class.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:56, Reply)
Is he the one who coiled one down on you in bed or something,
Can't remember the story, if somrone would be so kind...
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:59, Reply)
fuck no
that was a different one. he shat himself in his sleep.

unbelievably his disgusting german wife is now up the duff. if ever there were 2 people who should never have been allowed to breed... it'll be half dull as shit and half drugged up alcoholoc.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:01, Reply)
And my first click of the day...

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:00, Reply)
'One Ginger One Coon'

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:50, Reply)
Keep moving
We'll all be hatted and proud
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:51, Reply)
oh you prick
worst earworm ever
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:52, Reply)
I read this to the tune of One Finger One Thumb, Keep Moving

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:52, Reply)
Oh you prick
worst earworm ever
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:53, Reply)
It seems I was not the only one...

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:53, Reply)
Keep MARRving

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:54, Reply)
I was really suprised on how the board has turned on me and all this relentless bullying......



.....wait no, not I'm not suprised
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:44, Reply)

was really suprised on how the board has turned on me and all this relentless bullying......



.....wait no, not I'm not suprised am a knobcheese
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:47, Reply)
hahaha

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:48, Reply)
Fuck you Clicky
I bet you have Blakies in your trainers
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:48, Reply)
The last time I was genuinely surprised was when I got away with not paying a council tax bill because of their fuck up.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:45, Reply)
i made a similar mistake with the opposite result
that is why i am the full fucking year's council tax of £2.5k short this month, and living on dry roasted chickpeas when i'm not going out (which i am hardly doing. roll on fucking payday).
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:47, Reply)
Ouch. That's a fair lump.
They miscalculated mine, didn't add my 'lonely persons' discount, and tried to claim back tax benefit from when I was unemployed for a bit. To the tune of about £800. I won, and now I live like a king.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:49, Reply)
councils suck
the only thing they are usually efficient about is collecting money, strangely.

mine was totally my own fault. forgot i'd paid the whole lot last year, so forgot it was due in april, then the dumbass postman sent the bill and reminder next door, and before i knew it, court hearing... urrrrrgh.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:54, Reply)
What is wrong with the people that you live next door to
that they wouldn't pass that on to you?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:55, Reply)
LONDON wrong

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:56, Reply)
oh, it's empty
the poor sod had kidney failure, so for the first few years i'd open my front door and fall over all his drugs boxes (our flats used to be one giant flat, so we share an archway that leads to both front doors). he was carted off to hospital ages ago, and i don't think he's coming back.

it's no excuse. i should have known i hadn't paid.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:57, Reply)
I'm always late paying, then get the warning letters and pay the lot.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:56, Reply)
You lucky sod
I spent 4 years fighting Southwark Council :(
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:54, Reply)
It wasn't luck really, I WAS in the right.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:55, Reply)
So was I! They just didn't see it that way

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:56, Reply)
You have my shallowest sympathies.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:57, Reply)
Doctor, Doctor, gimme the news!
I got a bad case of sympathy for you x
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:59, Reply)
HA!
Earworm for the day there.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:59, Reply)
It wasn't the same brown guy who wanted to nosh you was it?
Mine hang rather nicely ss it 'appens, guys 'n' gals.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:47, Reply)
What, your 'brown guys'?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:48, Reply)
and the SS did quite a bit of hanging

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:48, Reply)
not nearly enough

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:49, Reply)
Yeah but when they did they did it nicely

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:50, Reply)
With ruthless efficiency.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:00, Reply)
Pierrepoint did it better!

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:00, Reply)
YM.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:51, Reply)
I was surprised by how easy dozer found cooking spinach and ricotta canneloni.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:51, Reply)
haha, suprisingly I forgot all about that

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:52, Reply)
How fucking political its getting in our office
Fuck that for a game of cards. That and finding some kind of red lizard creature in my garden
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:53, Reply)
The illuminati are moving in on the north east now?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:54, Reply)
I, for one, welcome our new tiny overlords*
* not Battered
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:55, Reply)
Also
My mates were on Pointless last night
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:55, Reply)
I was surprised that people thought I
was an adult recently. Creeps up on you ;_;
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:56, Reply)
It sure does :o(

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:56, Reply)
How are you chum?
Have I got the makings of a superstar DJ? Not if I give up like that eh!?

Alt: Your bike is coming along nicely! I might even send you a picture tomorrow evening!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 9:58, Reply)
*wobbly hand gesture* been better old son
Your surpise at not being a master of the scratch at your first attempt was rather amusing. You silly sod.

Alt: fucking excellent, ta
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:02, Reply)
I'm very harsh on myself when I'm not good as something
I am excellent as assassinating my own character.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:38, Reply)
If you could make a video of the bike fucking a donkey, that'll be even better.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:12, Reply)
I've fucked a few bikes

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:16, Reply)
Your wife's lovely.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:18, Reply)
She certainly is

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:22, Reply)
make one?
he sells the DVDs complete with souvenir donkey shaped dildos and bike nipple clamps
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:16, Reply)
Something about a saddle.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:19, Reply)
Superstar DJ?
Here we go!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:18, Reply)
I was surprised to find out that HH is a lying cheating adulterer who will destroy his wife's life forever when she finds out.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:02, Reply)

ating ese
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:03, Reply)
Not half as suprised as me I can tell you.................*looks at Batts*
Actually you are half as surprised as me
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:07, Reply)
click

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:08, Reply)
Out of the blue last night
I got a multimedia message from someone I know from here. It was a brief mobile phone clip of a little brown man getting caught fucking a donkey and running off.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:04, Reply)
What a coincidence!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:11, Reply)
wait I thought "Coincidence Day" was March 12th

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:15, Reply)
WOW!
SO DID I!!!!11!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:16, Reply)
what a...............................fuck off

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:17, Reply)
i HATE people who pronounce it "co-in-kee-dink"

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:17, Reply)
I would agree with you on this

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:18, Reply)
You are legally allowed to punch those people on the ear.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:19, Reply)
Legally? I would have thought it was Mandatory

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:21, Reply)
That makes me cringe just reading it

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:20, Reply)
even worse is "drinkypoos"
i could actually do time for that.

drinkypoos. fuck OFF. how can you make alcohol with friends sound uninviting? oh wait. you just did. FUCK OFF.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:22, Reply)
STOP IT NOW

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:22, Reply)

amberhollyharrison.wordpress.com/2013/07/22/roof-top-drinky-poos/
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:24, Reply)
I also hate 'oooh only three more sleeps until......'
Fuck off please, go on, off you fuck.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:24, Reply)
OOH yes
and "holibobs" or "jolly hols".

AND "years young". i'm 60 years young.

no, you're a prick. x 60.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:24, Reply)
'No, I'm half left!!!'

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:25, Reply)
'is it Tuesday today?'


'YES, ALL DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:26, Reply)
Plus, people who include the year when asked the date today.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:29, Reply)
so basically...
people.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:34, Reply)
That works for me.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:39, Reply)
To be fair people who need to know the date stand a better chance of being a timetraveller
than people who don't.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:51, Reply)
See also 'Chrimbo'

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:26, Reply)
"I'm Kerazy, me!!"

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:27, Reply)
TGIF Tie & 'Simpsons' socks.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:28, Reply)
I broke up with someone for calling holidays "holibobs"
Trufax!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:38, Reply)
There aren't such people, surely?
Tell me there aren't.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:22, Reply)
they are rife
RIFE
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:24, Reply)
Exactly 26 weeks ago today. That's half a year you know.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:17, Reply)
Alright Montyboy,
Not much surprising going on down this neck of the woods, soz.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:19, Reply)
BOO!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:23, Reply)
Very nearly being struck by lightning while walking the rim of the Grand Canyon a couple of weeks ago was quite surprising.
Although, considering we were in the middle of a thunderstorm, I suppose we shouldn't have been that surprised.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:19, Reply)
Less surprising the second time as well

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:20, Reply)
I was surprised I didn't get gardening leave
Surprised and fucked off
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:39, Reply)
I was pleasantly surprised you didn't get it.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:40, Reply)
Yeah thanks doc after all if done for you

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:44, Reply)
You're leaving me when i need you the most!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:48, Reply)
Alright, Monty Boyce off the Internet?
I was surprised last night to find I can sell something for fifty quid that's currently on sale in Argos for twenty.

I was all like o_O

In other news, I would like it to go on record that I have NO interest in ANY of your (collectively speaking) bollocks.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:41, Reply)
alright b3th

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:43, Reply)
I'm super tip top, thank you.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:44, Reply)
Was it Monty's Mum?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:43, Reply)
What are you selling?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:45, Reply)
My mum.
Do try to keep up, you silly boy.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:46, Reply)
Buy one, get three free.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:48, Reply)
Worn underwear

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:47, Reply)
Monty's mum

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:54, Reply)
'celebrity' customer of the day: satirist John Bird

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:46, Reply)
We still playing this game?
I've seen John Majors penis.

Surprisingly not as part of my current job!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:49, Reply)
It's no game, HJ.
This is REAL LIFE.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:50, Reply)
Well if we're boasting about naked celebrities, I've seen Sylvester McCoy bollock naked and shaven.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:53, Reply)
Did he look bigger on the inside?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:55, Reply)
I saw him in the VIP area of a one-day dance music festival in Finsbury Park once.
What the fuck he was doing there I did not ask, unfortunately.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:56, Reply)
Was he naked?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:01, Reply)
'Celebrity walked past me of the day':'Kevin and Perry Go Large' star Kathy Burke.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:50, Reply)
She lives in Islington.
When I did too, I used to see Clive Anderson in my local shop all the time, and, worse still, Su fucking Pollard in Angel Sainsbo's. Always looking like she was desperate for someone to accost her, the needy Northern cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:51, Reply)
And Paul Whitehouse in the Albion pub off Liverpool Rd.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:52, Reply)
I thought he was alright until he started doing those AVIVA adverts.
Now he can fuck right off, I hope he has a shit weekend.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:13, Reply)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:14, Reply)
YEAH! And a disappointing sandwich for lunch!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:14, Reply)
People who say 'Sainsbo's' should be stabbed to death.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:52, Reply)
with a piece of stale giraffe bread

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:53, Reply)
I made it up, so this is in effect a direct threat to kill me.
EVERYONE HAS WITNESSED THIS.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:53, Reply)
It's ok. I'll behead you. The police won't follow that up.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:56, Reply)
^ THREATS TO KILL^

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:58, Reply)
Steven Seagal's latest ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:03, Reply)
Anderson has been a customer of our shop.
The other one I see about alot is Lisa/Leeeza Tarbuck. I'd rather see her dad.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:53, Reply)
he has the personalised reg plate
COM1C

which is a bit of false advertising really
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:53, Reply)
Maybe the number plate N0NCE had already been taken

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:56, Reply)
Unlike you to be slow of the mark.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:56, Reply)
you obviously don't know him very well yet

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:57, Reply)
I can only judge on the evidence I have seen.
Such as the photo of you looking like a man in drag.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:58, Reply)
i do not look like a man
and i am not ginger. if you google cindy crawford without the mole, that's pretty close.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:06, Reply)
You do. And are. No it isn't.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:07, Reply)
poor stunned
you've gotten your negatives and positives all mixed up
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:10, Reply)
I did that....
snipurl.com/27sa7t0
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:09, Reply)
that's stunned at his chistmas party

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:10, Reply)
It's your mum and dad and boyfriend.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:12, Reply)
next time we go for pies
imma order an extra one and throw it at you
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:14, Reply)
rub it on my cock and balls you say?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:15, Reply)
hers or yours?

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:16, Reply)
Her cock and balls.
My bitch tits.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:16, Reply)
up to monty
as he'll be licking it off underneath the table
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:17, Reply)
haha
Thanks for voting for reply 2080267!

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(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:11, Reply)
You can post images here, you prick.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 12:15, Reply)
W4NKA

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:57, Reply)
Sonia from Eastenders lives in Islington too
And hates cyclists!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:58, Reply)
But not cake.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:59, Reply)
So does one of the Slaters that isn't in it anymore. She's a proper piss head, balding nicely too.
Saw her in tesco's buying onions and wine.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:00, Reply)
I liked him.
Ask him about El CID. I bet that's his proudest oevre.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:53, Reply)
I used to like that
I bet it was well shit.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:54, Reply)
I think I saw an episode once.
I can't remember it. Wasn't it basically 'New Tricks' but on the Costa?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 10 Sep 2013, 10:56, Reply)
Never seen New Tricks

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:00, Reply)
this subthread is great, guys!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:00, Reply)
I saw an episode of something that I can't remember once too.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:03, Reply)
I'm not normally someone who is negative about other people's threads. However I'm making an exception for this one.
It's shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:04, Reply)
Yeah just the 200+ replies. It's an abject failure.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:04, Reply)
Last nights 'BATTERED IS A PRICK' thread was better.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:05, Reply)
YM is shit in the sack.
And shits in a sack.

And smells like a shitsack.

And looks like a sack of shit.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:06, Reply)
You're only saying what we're all thinking.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:07, Reply)
GET A FUCKING GRIP, YOU LOT.
Sonia from Eastenders or El CID? Really?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:05, Reply)
Of the two, I'd go with Sonia.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:05, Reply)
She IS on my list.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:06, Reply)
She could play my trumpet.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:11, Reply)
How about
One Foot In The Grave?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:06, Reply)
Or Toe with Noakes?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:07, Reply)
I reckon he's more in to film "Footlose"

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:07, Reply)
Nice one. It's more like the Pharcyde song
"I'm the type of nigger that was built to last, fuck with me I'll put my foot in your ass".
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:11, Reply)
or this
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=break%20my%20foot%20off%20in%20your%20ass
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:13, Reply)
I bet you bought the mug and t-shirt.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:14, Reply)
I did
AND NOW I OWN IT
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:15, Reply)
I really like that new thread you've started. It's way better.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:10, Reply)
I didn't say I was going to start one.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:11, Reply)
Big words. Small trousers.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:13, Reply)
Plus he gets his loafers VAT free!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:16, Reply)
In Pimp at BabyGap.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:17, Reply)
I wasn't talking to you.
Jeez.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:15, Reply)
Oh fuck off.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:17, Reply)
It was a reply to Old Gouty.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:18, Reply)
I realised that.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:20, Reply)
Poor old Batts. Forever a member of the permanently baffled.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:23, Reply)
That Nakers is actually employable
and not just doing make-work for one of Daddy's friend's firms.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:11, Reply)
I am highly employable, unlike you bunch of childishly dressed, unwashed, fat, autistic, jobsworth layabouts

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:17, Reply)
cheeky bastard I washed this morning

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:18, Reply)
i can't imagine you managed to get deep into all of the folds though

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:19, Reply)
ample sponge you bent spastic

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:19, Reply)
you are deffo the winner in this post

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:22, Reply)
me too!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:19, Reply)
it's almost like they don't want to succeed
turning up to work in their ironic Street Fighter t-shirts, lank ponytails leaving a greasy stain down their back.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:20, Reply)
whilst i'm at your house and mrs is riding the pig skin bus.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Sep 2013, 11:23, Reply)

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