Right no scotch bollocks today please

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 7:25, 162 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Morning hippy. How are you this cold, dull miserable day?
I is knackered, sleeps all to shit.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 7:30, Reply)

I know how you feel, fellow Dr.
I left my house this morning, and it was still fucking night. NIGHT I tells ya! Outrageous.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 7:41, Reply)

I'm going to migrate to /talk.
The hours are kinder, but the pay's the same. Better childcare facilities though.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 7:48, Reply)

I'm going to /Calendar
June/July I'm thinking.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 7:52, Reply)

Fucking typical.
Bsgsies December.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 7:59, Reply)

I approve of this variant on your username, pooks.
But I think you should drop the 'Bear' bit so it fits the metre of the song correctly
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:42, Reply)

how no?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 7:49, Reply)

We can still get drunk and list off Battered's faults, right?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 7:52, Reply)

Of course.
Dodgy looking eyebrows for a fucking start.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 7:56, Reply)

Jings

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 7:57, Reply)

ye scotch pruck

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:06, Reply)

Jusht fufty pee pal...jusht fa tha bush ya ken?
Uss no fa drink, ah shware doon
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:13, Reply)

Crivvens

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 7:58, Reply)

good grief my good fellow
there appears to me a rodent running free throughout this abode.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:06, Reply)

I had 14 hours sleep last night

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:14, Reply)

Why is Chompy boasting about sleeping with a 14 year old?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:17, Reply)

Bartlelby stole his log in?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:20, Reply)

eh, scotch bollocks?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:19, Reply)

NO CHILLI CHAT

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:21, Reply)

I had Chilli last night TRUSTORY

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:24, Reply)

NO POLITICS

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:25, Reply)

But we can fly planes into towers today can't we?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:26, Reply)

Only today

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:29, Reply)

Fuck, I best get down to the airfix shop Pronto.

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:33, Reply)

And I had chilli noodles with pork.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:26, Reply)

Basically, Monty wants to look at TMB's winky.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:22, Reply)

DON'T WE ALL?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:22, Reply)

I am haunted by the images

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:24, Reply)

Hey, I'm not judging.
It fits in with his love of falafel and salad after all.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:24, Reply)

What a TART(an)

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:25, Reply)

Isn't that what Roota says everyday?
Ugh, I feel shit. Fucking headcold.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:26, Reply)

Shame Watercolour Challenge isn't on anymore, isn't it?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:32, Reply)

Urgh so much pain
Don't know if I slipped or tripped or what, but managed fo knock myself out cold on fleet street last night by falling into the road. Luckily I managed to miss the rush hour buses, but I was in such a state. Apparently I kept saying I was alright but I couldn't hear or see anything. They told me later I kept sitting up and passing out again. Someone called an ambulance as I'd been out cold for quite a few minutes and lo there were foil blankets and ecgs and amorous badgers exclaiming over my stupid pulse rate (46).

So now I'm looking like fucking Harry potter this morning, with a sca on my forehead where it hit the deck and glasses held together with nhs sticky tape (not that i resll need them thank feck) and totally technicolour knees that I can hardly bear to walk on. But could be worse, could have been strawberry jam under the number 15 I guess...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:33, Reply)

I'm am pleased you are alive.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:39, Reply)

I like you better than rory

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:43, Reply)

Were you doing your impression of Ku Klux Knievel?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:46, Reply)

If you are struggling to walk
there is a high probability that you were bummed while unconscious
HTH
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:51, Reply)

You should phone the council about the pavement.
Someone as chunky as you falling on it could seriously damage it.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:47, Reply)

I'm celebrating this 11/9 by having a Twix.
How will you mark the anniversary of the deaths of 19 freedom fighters?
( Peej, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:33, Reply)

I'm going to have two Zinger Tower Burgers for lunch

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:52, Reply)

Urgh so much pain
Don't know if I slipped or tripped or what, but managed fo knock myself out cold on fleet street last night by falling into the road. Luckily I managed to miss the rush hour buses, but I was in such a state. Apparently I kept saying I was alright but I couldn't hear or see anything. They told me later I kept sitting up and passing out again. Someone called an ambulance as I'd been out cold for quite a few minutes and lo there were foil blankets and ecgs and amorous badgers exclaiming over my stupid pulse rate (46).

So now I'm looking like fucking Harry potter this morning, with a sca on my forehead where it hit the deck and glasses held together with nhs sticky tape (not that i resll need them thank feck) and totally technicolour knees that I can hardly bear to walk on. But could be worse, could have been strawberry jam under the number 15 I guess...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:33, Reply)

Shitting hell, that's pretty shocking.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:37, Reply)

Shitting hell, that's pretty shocking.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:37, Reply)

Shitting hell, that's pretty shocking.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:39, Reply)

You fucking mong
Hope you're alright, mind.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:40, Reply)

I hope you are being sensible enough to take the day off
you never normally make that many spelling mistakes in a post, so I think you aint quite recovered yet.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:43, Reply)

I once had a car door opened on me whilst running
I went right over the top and knocked myself out. When I came round I insisted that I was fine and staggered home. It wasn't until I got there I realised my clothes were sodden with blood and that the point of the car door had punched a inch deep hole in my shoulder.
( Peej, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:55, Reply)

I wonder if fainting might have a tiny but to do with your ridiculous eating and excercise patterns?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:10, Reply)

I wonder how many hours' sleep Chompy got last night.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:34, Reply)

I love Scottish pop
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvFuyIuWSPk
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:39, Reply)

Shitting hell
this is pretty shocking
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:51, Reply)

+ still

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:52, Reply)

I had 14 hours sleep last night

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:52, Reply)

I'm going to have two Zinger Tower Burgers for lunch

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:53, Reply)

^First LOL

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:00, Reply)

I had 14 hours sleep last night

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:54, Reply)

I had too much to dream last night
www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-kVFfKezVo
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:54, Reply)

I LIKED THIS SONG BACK IN 68 AND IT STILL ROCKS, BUT IT WAS THE WHOLE PACKAGE, NOT JUST THE GUITAR LICK. BUT IN 2013, FUCK SHITPANTS AXELROD. HE IS ALL TOUGH, BUT WHEN IT WAS HIS TIME T5O HAVE BULLE4TS WIZ BY HIS HEAD, HE SHIT HIMSELF HERE AT HOME. FUCK HIM AND FUCK HIS DENIALS. EVEN IF IT ISN'T TRUE, IF YOU ARE STUPID ENOUGH TO TELL THAT STORY, NOW YOU OWN IT SHITPANTS. NO GETTING AWAY FROM IT.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:55, Reply)

Mein gott
The guy on the left...it's like Gonz and Theoban had a baby.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:55, Reply)

Shitting hell, that's pretty shocking.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:05, Reply)

I had 14 hours sleep last night

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:22, Reply)

That band do not get the credit they deserve.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:05, Reply)

All the line up changes plus Axelrod's involvement probably didn't help.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:09, Reply)

Indeed, they did a lot more than just that one classic above though

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:15, Reply)

Right, that settles it
I'm off for posh Scotch eggs for lunch
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:55, Reply)

I've had 14 hours sleep this week

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:55, Reply)

Word up homeboys and hustlers

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 8:59, Reply)

I had 8 hours sleep, which is the correct amount of sleep

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:01, Reply)

I had 6 as usual.
YOURN LAZY
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:18, Reply)

I have Choc Dip for later but I might have it now.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:01, Reply)

You meeting Geordie jay today?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:02, Reply)

haha BECAUSE HE'S GAY!!! GEDDIT!!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:14, Reply)

JeordieGay LOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:16, Reply)

Now I do THANKS!!111111

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:16, Reply)

Fockin English bastaaa
Etc.

I had quite an argument with a Scottish Nationalist once - she was deeply unpleasant. Her conclusions were similar to those of London taxi drivers, only "Pakis" was replaced by "The fuckin English".

They seemed to inspired by some battle that happened 300 years or so ago.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:14, Reply)

There's a Chinese guy sitting next to me in the chemists.
He's tiny. A sort of Bonsai Battered. I want to keep him.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:15, Reply)

NO CHINAMEN

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:16, Reply)

^TGGI^

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:17, Reply)

NO CHINAMEN

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:16, Reply)

^TGGI^

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:17, Reply)

NO CHINAMEN

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:17, Reply)

Shitting hell, that's pretty shocking.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:17, Reply)

YEAH

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:18, Reply)

I'm going to have two Zinger Tower Burgers for lunch

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:21, Reply)

Shitting hell, that's pretty shocking

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:22, Reply)

AND THE BEST IDEA I HAVE EVER HEARD

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:22, Reply)

All joking aside
I could murder some fried chicken.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:23, Reply)

NOW YOU OWN IT

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:24, Reply)

As long as it's not those sort of wing bits with a big lump of gristle attached.
Ribs or thighs, then drumsticks.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:25, Reply)

That chicken brain picture put me off
I wasn't a big fan of fried chicken to begin with.

I a burger topped with pulled pork yesterday and was it fuck pulled pork? it fucken wasn't, more like pork mince or summat. It was my first time trying pulled pork and iwas not a happy bunny.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:42, Reply)

I am sorry your first experience of this delicious treat was a bad one.
But you WILL enjoy the genuine article, don't let this 'shitting hell, that's pretty shocking' experience put you off.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:44, Reply)

I like the look of it
I saw it on the show where it;s the american man versus all the food challenges, I forget what you call it, and it looks very nice.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:45, Reply)

I like it when the american man is beaten by all the food best.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:46, Reply)

theres this other one i saw the other day
which is pretty similar but with a skinny american man with glasses who says 'YOU GOTTA EAT HERE!' a lot, I forget what its called but it wasnt as good
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:48, Reply)

I don't like it when the television orders me to do stuff

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:49, Reply)

There's never a chance to put your case forward is there? You just have to do it.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:50, Reply)

I liked that one that said why dont you switch off your television set and go out and do something less boring instead
That was well LOL, cause I was all like "Huh, yeah, well maybe I will and then I wont be watching youre show, howdya like them apples?" but they couldnt hear me so I was just watched it anyways and repeated the zing to my mates in the schoolyard next day but they were too busy swapping Peter Beardsley panini stickers and doing roobicks cubes. OH MAN THE EIGHTIES!!
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:52, Reply)

Tell me about it, Poopy.
Pulled pork in EVERYTHING. It's not even good pulled pork.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:45, Reply)

It reminded me more of those tins of mince (y'know not the one from the internet) that you get
really bitty and swimming in this shit bbq sauce. I don't like bbq sauce.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:47, Reply)

I'm assuming the server is acting up for everyone?
I'm assuming the server is acting up for everyone?

I'm assuming the server is acting up for everyone?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:40, Reply)

I'm assuming the server is acting up for everyone?
I'm assuming the server is acting up for everyone?

I'm assuming the server is acting up for everyone?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:40, Reply)

I'm assuming the server is acting up for everyone?
I'm assuming the server is acting up for everyone?

I'm assuming the server is acting up for everyone?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:40, Reply)

IM GOING TO HAVE TWO ZINGER TOWER BURGERS FOR LUNCH

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:41, Reply)

Shitting hell.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:43, Reply)

^THIS GUY'S PRETTY SHOCKING^

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:44, Reply)

:-O

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:45, Reply)

Shocking hell, that's pretty shitting

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:44, Reply)

Wheres this health scare we were promised?
WELL?
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:46, Reply)

I wonder if this was it?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-24043651
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:47, Reply)

NAAAAHH
It sounded well serious innit.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:48, Reply)

I'm assuming the server is acting up for everyone?
I'm assuming the server is acting up for
everyone?


I'm assuming the server is acting up for
everyone?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:48, Reply)

NO CHINAMEN

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 11 Sep 2013, 9:49, Reply)