Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Have you ever fucked a horse?Alt: have you ever wanked off a dog?
Altalt: have you ever cuddled a mallard?
Altaltalt: shagged a sheep?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:08,
177 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
I might let Stu Francis have that one(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:11,
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:13,
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i don't underatnd this entire subthreadam I too young?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:16,
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No. But i have shat on each of your mums. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:11,
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There's a knicker joke here somewhere(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:12,
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I was trying to save it from drowningthats why my trousers were off M'lord
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Peej, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:11,
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I had no rope to throw out to it. I was improvising, officer.(
Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:14,
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I have tromboned a terrapin(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:12,
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Ever hit a child? Our chum Lighty last night said he would if he ever became a father. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:13,
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I don't think the NSPCC need be overly concerned here.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:13,
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Well you wouldn't understand thenI could never smack a two year old either
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Peej, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:19,
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Couldn't do so regardless of age. Barbaric. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:21,
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ReallyI think there a lot of difference between beating a child and giving a kid a quick smack on the hand when they try and stick their hand in the gas ring.
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Peej, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:22,
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As a non-parent, my opinion is obviously worthlessbut I'd say there was a difference between smacking and battering a kid.
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Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:23,
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There are other ways to deal with something like that. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:23,
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Psychological torture is far more fun.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:24,
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i maintain that the only thing my little shit of a brother was scared ofwas having his trousers pulled down and his bottom smacked in public. it didn't hurt him, but it was humiliating.
mind you, he was 23.
however, i don't think i could ever hit anyone. unless they didn't pay for pizza or something.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:47,
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this^You'll soon find that 3 year olds really respond well to talking when they've just thrown a toy car at the fireplace and smashed a glass/mirror photo frame.
/mayhavehappenedonsaturday
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:24,
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I've never smacked my kids as a punishmentbut I have to prevent them from either causing harm to themselves, each other, someone else or to stop them destroying something they know they shouldn't be destroying.
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Peej, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:25,
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Monty said "PJ was puking"I thought it was you
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:30,
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Consider my username. How do you think that came about? N.E.V.E.R. Just wont. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:24,
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One for every footHence why Stumped went home after 1
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:32,
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My dad beat the shit out of me as a kid,again its very different. When I smack my kids its for shock value and I am pretty much certian it doesn't hurt them.
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Peej, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:26,
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My youngest will cry if she thinks shes been smackedso I clap my hands loudly behind her back and thats enough, its funny to psychologically torture little Mange Tout
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Peej, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:28,
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you worked in a fish & chip shop?did they have bottles or sachets of ketchup?
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:27,
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^ This guy knows how to get to the crux of the matter/oats
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:32,
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I don't know the context, but if he said he would hit YOUR child, it'd be totally understandable(, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:15, Reply)
And even if he wasn't a fatherhe said he was partial to hitting children. And free roasts.
(, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:16, Reply)
And not offering to pay for fuel. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:17,
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I've never had a free roast :(Any time you feel like obliging, my crystalline friend.
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Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:18,
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yes to all of the aboveCos I had sex with your mum, and she falls into all of those categories, even the mallard. At least I'm pretty sure she said she was a good duck
Haha lol etc
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Quizzle you old knobber, how are ya(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:15,
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Been with a few dogs in my time.Hurrr Hurrr.
alt. Wee wee'd on a Tapir?
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:17,
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Angry dragoned a dragon?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:19,
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BothThat's why I only have one arm
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:20,
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Ain't no party like a puffin puddle party(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:21,
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Yeah. Not bad. Fucking glad I legged it at midnight though, the first part of this morning I was a little off my best.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:23,
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I'm not Scottish Why did you think I am?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:24,
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I fucking did.Thirty shitters that round cost me. Bloody London
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:27,
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You were in the bathroom checking your makeup at the time, I believe.(
Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:28,
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very imortnat to frequently power one's nose to avoid 'shine'(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:30,
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Hence Monty/Stunned disappearing all the time?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:33,
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You drank it, you tool(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:28,
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Cos you're from Edinburgh innit.But I've been to Edinburgh and they don't talk like you. I've also been to Maidenhead and they do.
I'm not accusing you of being a fake Jock or whatever, I'm just saying it's veeeeery coincidental that you come from a part of Edinburgh where the local accent is strikingly similar to Berkshire's.
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Kroney, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:27,
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I come from the welsh bordersI live in Edinburgh.
/really Berkshire? Sad face, online
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:29,
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you came down from Scotland for PIzza bash?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:25,
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No, I am down as an external examiner for one of UCL's degree programsSo I went to OMFGPIZZABASH. Which had no pizza.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:27,
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No idea what you meanAnd I'm not spastictyping or anything
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:30,
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i offeredbut lighty told me you'd already had calamari.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:45,
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Foie gras(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:22,
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Shit off back to your helicopter. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:25,
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My laptop has an eco option.Obviously designed by Greenpeace lezzas.
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It'll be marketing bullshit for "turns screen backlight down a bit"(, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:33, Reply)
I've parted a trout's clout(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:31,
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imma gonna assume your fishing for lyrics for an amusing ditty for a youtube clip of you sitting in front of your Lionel Ritchie bust plucking feebly at your 'fender' or summat whilst warbling earnestly and at the end there'll be a fucken smattering of applause and a few weak 'ENCORES' from your baysh croneys who're sitting off camera with their fucken balloon hats and you'll do an exaggerated bow then reach over to shit off your camera and we'll see right up yer fucken hoover snout
thats what im assuming
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:34,
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im leaving 'shit off' in there cos it made me do a lol(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:35,
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well battered got a stink finger of swipe last night(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:36,
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He was only trying to put his hand up to be noticed(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:37,
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you're not the one that should be sorry here bubMince has got some splainin to do
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:39,
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how the fuck has this shit got 162 replies?163 now...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:43,
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i love itthe spitting bitter rage is glorious
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 20 Sep 2013, 14:51,
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