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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Sausages and all things good
Nakers got me thinking about making Sausages and Mash with Onion Gravy later, I have some excellent mustard ones in the freezer from this place
www.bigbarn.co.uk/marketplace/vendors/claires~SpringLaneFarmShop_Nottingham_NG3_Free_Range_Beef
What's the best thing to do with a sausage*?

Alt: Does any one actually miss me around here**?

Alt:alt: I have managed to get loads of stuff in the last week, what have you managed to get done in the last week*?

* awaits YM joke
** Needy bastard

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:10, 219 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
Fancy that.
The adulterous Hartley Hare talking about what he's doing with his 'sausage'.
He makes me SICK.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:12, Reply)
Well really, after all I've been through >:(
you really are a horrid bully
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:13, Reply)
It's because of WHAT your penis has been through that I'm bullying you, you monster.

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:14, Reply)
My penis has only been in one persons foo-foo over the last 17 years or so

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:17, Reply)
It's been going on this long?
Your poor wife.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:30, Reply)
wait but.......I didn't mean...............you've got the wrong end of the stick..................
*Shrugs and gives up*
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:32, Reply)
what's the best way to learn salsa?

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:16, Reply)
Read the ingredients on the label over and over again.

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:17, Reply)
needs more 1-2-3-4
Happy B-Day Jeffers
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:17, Reply)
Thanks. how are things going?

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:24, Reply)
so so I've got about a 10 week window before shit starts getting financially bad

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:28, Reply)
I hope you have MPPI

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:29, Reply)
How rude :(
I hope you get an STD
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:31, Reply)
I hope you don't run out of money and have to sell your house and rent somewhere much smaller xx

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:33, Reply)
Bad times
Any irons in the fire or more info on how the old company fucked up?
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:33, Reply)
Bit of both, 3 irons
and a parcel sent from the MD last week
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:35, Reply)
Did he post you a bag of poo?

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:39, Reply)
That FUCKING Monty, he can't keep a secret
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2099452
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:41, Reply)
Toad in the hole
lots of mash, gravy and veg of your choice.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:18, Reply)
Joey deacon?
Alright Loaksey you ham fisted bread headed fucker?
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:20, Reply)
Use it as a spoon in a cup o beans.
Alt: no.

Alt alt: loads of shit innit
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:21, Reply)
What a horrid euphemism
alt: :(

alt:alt: You mean you've been cleaning Grace?
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:23, Reply)
Her cage gets cleaned once a week.
Anecdote king, right here.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:24, Reply)
Only once a week?
You should try a laxative
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:30, Reply)
Dunno.
Alt: no

Altalt: nothing
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:21, Reply)
cool story frere

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:23, Reply)
I take inspiration from you princess.

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:34, Reply)
Did he say you're his number one?
Stop giving me 1980's funk earworms :(
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlLKNxDbsi8
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:37, Reply)
That ones pretty terrible.

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:41, Reply)
I know :(
You mentioned Princess and gave me that earworm so it's all your fault
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:42, Reply)
It was shite then and it hasn't stood the test of time
Funk?
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:44, Reply)
Soul and funk was the genre
EDIT: evening TD how the devil are you?
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:46, Reply)
It's SAW for fuck's sake
One of my mates makes model trains full time for Pete Waterman. Beat that for a job.

Edit - fine, thanks.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:49, Reply)
SAW? soul and.....?

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:51, Reply)
Stock, Aitken and Waterman
Polluters of music.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:59, Reply)
Try this one for size
www.youtube.com/watch?v=km4BxnR29Sc
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:01, Reply)
Bit too gimmicky
Mid 80's funk at it's best was Working Week

www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5mtH3_439s
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:07, Reply)
Nahhh....they were hanging on to the coat tails
you forgetting Loose ends, SOS band, Dazz Band, The Gap Band, Mtume, D-train, Carl Carlton, Jocelyn Brown, Atlantic Starr, Zapp, Brothers Johnson.....wait this may go on for some time
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:16, Reply)
Wasn't really my scene, to be honest
Got into Working Week and Swanns Way through the ex-wife later - she had a lot of Brothers Johnson and Gap Band stuff.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:21, Reply)
It was my thing, we used to have some wicked all dayers at Rock City in Nottingham on bank holidays

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:22, Reply)
It's Dozers fault for *being* a princess

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:45, Reply)
I can't help being beautiful xx

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:47, Reply)
yeah....
some of us know what you look like, chump
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:50, Reply)

u i
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:52, Reply)
that was a really pretty picture you posted today.
Can't have been you.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:14, Reply)
you cheeky twat!
of course it was me!
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:23, Reply)
Can't have been.

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:41, Reply)
Wait....what, link a brother up

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:42, Reply)
We all have our cross to bear.

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:52, Reply)
You can't hide you love from me
www.youtube.com/watch?v=DknkDVWGPoE

Thanks for this earworm
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:25, Reply)
Not available on this platform.
Shame, you normally hit me up with some tune-age.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:35, Reply)
*sniff*
all 1980's Funk I'm afraid
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:37, Reply)
I have steak, peppers, onions and various kinds of rice
What should I cook gentle B3TANs?
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:42, Reply)
throw the steak in the bin, where it belongs
veggie stir fry with lots of spices and a bit of grated cheese on the top
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:43, Reply)
SAUSAGES you retard

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:43, Reply)
Lie on your back and see if you can scoff the whole lot raw.

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 18:46, Reply)
Raw steak is excellent!
Not so sure about raw veggies or rice though.
As to throwing the steak in the bin, Swipey - shame on you! Vegetarian is only a prehistoric word for 'Shit at hunting'*.

*Yeah, I know I didn't hunt the steak, but I have killed and eaten animals before, most satisfying.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:06, Reply)
Got converted to raw steak when working in Switzerland
Raw veg is more or less salad. Don't bother with the rice.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:13, Reply)
I've had meat cooked in citric acid, is that the same?

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:23, Reply)
Sausages should always be cooked in the oven.
That way they cook in their own fat. Obviously needs a good PRICK halfway through.

Speaking of pricks.

Alt. I have missed wor Harters and the board had less jovial banter when he woz RIP 4 ever in ar HARTERZ

Alt.Alt. Sober up, then get drunk.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:06, Reply)
I knew I could count on you to lower the tone
How the fuck are Jason?
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:07, Reply)
Not bad pal, we plod on.
Yourself?

Redundancy is a fucker and no mistake. Similar thing happened to me last year. You have to face it head on. Be the most proactive job hunting cunt you can be! Relentless!! All the luck to you
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:10, Reply)
Not that yours was redundancy but yaknow!
If it makes you feel any better, my "mate" fucked off back to Newcastle and set up shop again without even uttering a breath.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:15, Reply)
By mate you mean partner, the Birthday boy from a few weeks back?

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:23, Reply)
No way.
We're still together and far too happy. Ten months in and not on cross word.

It will all end in tears.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:34, Reply)
Phew,well that's a weight off my mind

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:44, Reply)
Has HH been finished?
If I spent more time drunk I'd spend more time on here to catch up.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:16, Reply)
Bit worse than that I'm afraid TD, here it is in all it's ugly glory
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2087517
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:19, Reply)
This wouldn't have been a company with a name suggesting a recent inductee to a cult, would it?

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:27, Reply)
If it is I'm unaware of the connection

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:28, Reply)
My sausages are in the oven with some red onion, garlic and tomatoes
Buttery, milky, mustardy mix for the mash is warming through and I have wine.

Good toimes
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:36, Reply)
Good man, you made the right choice, now add a bit of cheese to the mash (not a lot)
and make onion gravy
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:40, Reply)
The Paul Daniels mash.

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:45, Reply)
I did the mash, the Monster Mash

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:47, Reply)
Doing the dance in my chair right now

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:55, Reply)
haha

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:55, Reply)
Used to go to a boozer in Leeds which had a resident Sunday lunchtime band - The Bilkos
They did a version called Monster Turd.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:00, Reply)
I remember a band that did a load of 'shit' songs.
It was either U2 or Coldplay.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:05, Reply)
Keane, I think.
Or Razorlight. Or Snow Patrol.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:11, Reply)
You're listening to Radio 2, the smooth sound of all the same....

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:16, Reply)
Eurgh.

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:18, Reply)
I had a 'sausage sandwich'
The ingredients are as follows:
Sausage
Bread
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:49, Reply)
What sauce THIS IS IMPORTANT?

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:50, Reply)
NO SAUCE

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:51, Reply)
Not even mustard?
No sauce is good, but you need mustard for gods sake.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:53, Reply)
^What he said^

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:54, Reply)
I GO IN DRY 24/7 365

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:01, Reply)
So
Pig bits, processed many years ago and put in a vat.

When demand arises, put into cow intestines. Frozen. Chucked into lorry.

Dug out, badged as "Our Best Sausage" (as opposed to "Our mediocre Sausage") and sold to you.

A bit of mustard will improve it.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:09, Reply)
Mediocrity suits me fine.
Although I would be drawn to Tesco's 'Disappointed' range also.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:12, Reply)
D'you reckon I could take my username (nicked from XTC anyway)
And market sub-par goods with it?
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:15, Reply)
100% mechanically recovered gristle.

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:19, Reply)
YES! And with the stuff we scoop from our filters and sweep off the floor.
YOUR KIDS WILL LOVE IT!

Temporarily.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:23, Reply)
People who bought 'Turkey twizzlers' also bought.....

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:26, Reply)
YOU FUCKING RETARD NEXT TIME ADD CHEESE, MUSTARD (ENGLISH OBVS) AND HP SAUCE
I'LL LET THIS INDISCRETION SLIP JUST ONCEJUST ONCE YOU HEAR
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:53, Reply)
I like to strip the ingredients right down so I can truly understand the nature of what it is to be a sausage sandwich.

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:56, Reply)
THIS SHOULD FUCK UP YOU NO SAUCE NAYSAYERS
.......NO BUTTER EITHER.
BLAM.
THATS HOW I DOOS IT BABY GIRL.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:58, Reply)
You're dead to me now Frog here it...... DEAD

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:59, Reply)
Sweet. Let's go a-haunting.

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:00, Reply)
You fucker stop giving me earworms
www.youtube.com/watch?v=nz0kMQDQ7X0
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:14, Reply)
TUNE

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:21, Reply)
>:(
My wife used to sing that to baby hare all the time
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:24, Reply)
I prefer the Roni size remix on white label.

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:27, Reply)
Now I've got " We're going on a Bear hunt" the book in my head, I never realised Michael Rosen..
was such a weird looking fucker...I never read the book to my son like this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytc0U2WAz4s
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:33, Reply)
Wrongun

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:55, Reply)
Don't you need the right sauce for the wrongun style?

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:56, Reply)
Don't you know from all the beautiful guilty back door smashing you've been doing with the ex?

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:03, Reply)
fuck another one
www.youtube.com/watch?v=60MQ3AG1c8o
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:17, Reply)
^^This^^!!!!
Sauces are entirely for homosexuals and animal fuckers
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:56, Reply)
^TGGI

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:02, Reply)
SAUSAGE SURPRISE!!!

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:55, Reply)
Jay please put the flacid thing away :(

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:57, Reply)
Don't be jel

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 19:59, Reply)
I really have no idea how to answer this

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:00, Reply)
Boil it, mash it, stick it in a Stu

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:04, Reply)
Grill 'em bake ' em fry ' em eat 'em

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:07, Reply)
Birds eye potato waffles.........

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:16, Reply)
Waffley versatile!

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:20, Reply)
I'm glad you made that edit...I was just about to correct it
You're an old fucker like me then frog?
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:21, Reply)
Old enough to remember that advert.
Auto correct doesn't like 'waffley'. Imagine that! It must be a proper word, it's been on telly.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:23, Reply)
I'm 42, you?

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:25, Reply)
You got a decade on me Grandad!

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:27, Reply)
45 in November. Does it matter?

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:30, Reply)
*points and laughs*

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:35, Reply)
I get on well with the elderly because I am cynical beyond my years.

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:36, Reply)
45! THE ELDERLY!!!!
That's no age you young whippersnapper.
*wanders off muttering about 'this was all fields' etc.*
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:41, Reply)
Aww come on now, I was merely lampooning you.
Age is just a number, until you're dead.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:43, Reply)
OK Bartlebey give the good Dr his log in back

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:44, Reply)
Is he still about?
Met him IRL at a BGB bash. Good bloke.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:47, Reply)
A meme's a meme, truth be told I like most on here *EVEN* you
How is BGB, DG comes on here but aint heard from her for ages?
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:49, Reply)
Old enough to have had Potato waffles as a staple student diet.

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:25, Reply)
You were not doing it right, Pot Noodles or GTFO

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:26, Reply)
Big Brucey was my housemate for three years
OK, my dad owned the house and we kept Brucey onside but he was a damned good cook.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:29, Reply)
was it nice to see him, see him nice?

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:38, Reply)
Don't know what he's doing now
Very well, I'd expect.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:44, Reply)
Glad to hear, that he may be doing well
you had anymore properties to look over yet?
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:46, Reply)
Been spreading the hard earned seed recently
Let's see if it fruits, eh?
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:49, Reply)
Looks like prices may be climbing very soon
Brick yards are on about a 3 month turn around, concrete roof tiles from Marley are almost as bad, the multi-national house builders are buying up stock like bastards
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:52, Reply)
I've still got a couple of thorns in my side from last time.
But I'm happy enough to go for it again.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:57, Reply)
Look at older Bungalow properties you can maximise on redeveloping the carbon footprint

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:03, Reply)
Completing on one this week
It's going to be mine when I ever get this one finished.

Trouble is, I've bought and sold and kept and let - but this one is the one I love. Sounds daft but it's karma. This is totally impractical for me but I can't leave it
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:12, Reply)
At times TD your heart can over rule your head, it's a coin toss as to how it finishes out
some of the best decisions I ever made in my life was from the heart not the head
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:15, Reply)
This will be a very hard place to maintain and although I pretend I'm not, I'm getting older.
I bought the bungalow with me in mind for a few lets to pay it off.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:21, Reply)
SO MUCH GREASE :(

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:33, Reply)
Yer, I bet he was "Hopelessly Devoted to them"

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:36, Reply)
Just the thought of it gives me chills
In fact, they're multiplying.
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:37, Reply)
They were best served on "Summer Nights"

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:39, Reply)
TELL ME MORE

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:39, Reply)
I liked the way they looked cooked, you know "Sandy" coloured

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:40, Reply)
Yeah, they were pretty "trevolting".
Am I doing this right?
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:40, Reply)
I used to look at all the cooked ones and pick one out and say "You're the One That I Want"

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:41, Reply)
When you deep fried them they cooked really fast almost like "Greased Lightnin'"

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:43, Reply)
I would often think to myself, once the guilt of convenience food set in..
'There are worse things I could do'
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:45, Reply)
Very true I say "We Go Together"

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:47, Reply)
Would you go so far as to say like
rama lama lama ka dinga da dinga dong
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:53, Reply)
Only on the weekends then again I would probably say "Look at Me, I'm Sandra Dee"

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:54, Reply)
You two are well bent

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:58, Reply)
Oh, here he comes with his bitter pithy one liners. Don't be so negative about a couple of upbeat cool d00dz having a good time.

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:00, Reply)
He's just upset
every time he tries to get it on with his wife he has to use a crow bar to separate her Velcro pubes
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:02, Reply)
Does she get a bit 'gummed up' from the steady line of gentleman callers?

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:03, Reply)
Well I think you should be asking TuiB that not me

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:05, Reply)
I, perhaps wrongly, assumed you were one of them, you crafty old devil.

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:07, Reply)
What....wait......what the fuck is wrong with you people
I AM NOT FUCKING EVERYONE BUT MY WIFE

CRIES
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:08, Reply)
WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULDNT HAVE KEFT ME ALL ALONE FOR A WEEK.

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:09, Reply)
Ok fair point....but I'm still going to be absent most of the week days till I sort out myself

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:16, Reply)
All you had to do was let me know before. I have been worried sick.

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:18, Reply)
It's no biggy..all you have to do is send a Gazz

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:21, Reply)
alright knobcheese

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:03, Reply)
Getting there TuiB, getting there
you alright?
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:06, Reply)
Yer not bad

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:08, Reply)
I may have to go into your kneck of the woods soon

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:09, Reply)
*shudders*

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:10, Reply)
alright gay prick

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:02, Reply)
That's better!
See, it wasn't so difficult to join in now was it?
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:04, Reply)
Beauty school dropout

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 20:58, Reply)
Will one of you START A NEW THREAD PLEASE?
I'm going outside I may be some time
(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:22, Reply)
Come back Titus, you've left your tabs.

(, Mon 23 Sep 2013, 21:25, Reply)

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