End of an era
Today I started wearing my last still-unworn pair of sneakers. This is a sad day. All my backup sneaks are in use.

abloobloobloo etc.

I don't have a question and this thread is STILL better than Battsy's poo-poo thread.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:05, 141 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I can't decide what is more bent
That you appear to keep 'boxfresh' trainers, that you call them sneakers, or that you are crying about all of this to us.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:07, Reply)

It IS still better than Battsy's poo-poo thread, mind.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:08, Reply)

He abbreviates "sneakers" to "sneaks"
this is without doubt the most offensively bent thing I have ever heard him say. I'm more disgusted at him over this than I am at Battered's thread about his bowel movements.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:13, Reply)

I call them "kicks"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:14, Reply)

I was waiting for someone to spot that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:15, Reply)

You're dead to me.

( Kroney, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:18, Reply)

*sides with the frenchie*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:37, Reply)

I'm not that bothered really, I just wanted to escape from POO CHAT

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:13, Reply)

"Daps" Monty, not "sneakers"
You're not a perishing Yank, man.

And stand up straight.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:08, Reply)

if only you had a birthday coming up...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:08, Reply)

that's no use, your not allowed to wear trainers in your 40's

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:09, Reply)

Or jeans
Or band t-shirts
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:10, Reply)

What he needs are a pair of brown brogues
three pairs of chinos and a few striped Hackett shirts.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:12, Reply)

Nice pink shirt today with my battered old brogues and some light blue chinos and a grey "tweed" jacket

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:13, Reply)

I bought some fully leather shoes the other week. they're very comfortable
and the leather soles make a reassuring click clack noise on the pavement.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:14, Reply)

congratulation IT monkey, you are growing up

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:15, Reply)

I am prepared to spend money on quality goods, that's all.

( Kroney, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:16, Reply)

won't they be properly slippery when ice comes to uxbridge?
he'll be flailing around those shitty streets like a big ugly beetle on its leathery back
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:26, Reply)

WeeeEEEeoooOOOOOOWEEEeeeOOooOOooo
*QI FOGLE KLAXON*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:13, Reply)

I have five pairs of shoes to my name
and only one pair of trainers.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:10, Reply)

This is the correct answer.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:11, Reply)

I have 11 pairs and I could easy have many more and use them all

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:12, Reply)

Your bentness is well documented though.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:12, Reply)

+ in the Bentyeux Tapestry

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:13, Reply)

Gayeaux, surely?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)

this is better

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:22, Reply)

christ, how do men live?
i have about 16 pairs of trainers, 25 pairs of high heels, 8 pairs of boots...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:13, Reply)

I have a brown pair of semi-casual shoes and blue trainers.
This covers all colours of trouser and all levels of casual wear. I have a black pair of shoes for work and suit duty, a pair of patents for black tie and some walking boots.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:15, Reply)

Ok, this is almost exactly what I have.
You should probably be worried about this.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)

Mine are made out of real leather from cows.
I don't think I really need to worry about being on the same level as you, tangles.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:19, Reply)

Yeah, mine are all real vegetarian ones.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:27, Reply)

since when did you go walking?
wheezing maybe
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:18, Reply)

I can walk for miles without issue.
It's running and jogging I have problems with.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:20, Reply)

that doesn't answer the question

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:25, Reply)

I am down to about 15-20 pairs of 5NKR5
Two pairs Chelsea boots
One pair of 'shoes'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)

but they have gucci heels, right?
RIGHT?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:18, Reply)

In a sense.



In a completely untrue, made up sense.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:21, Reply)

the best sort of sense
nonsense
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:25, Reply)

Two pairs of trainers & about twenty pairs of shoes & boots.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:14, Reply)

+ cuban heeled

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:15, Reply)

+platform sole.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:21, Reply)

don't be ridiculous
you've seen the height of him. if he had platform soles under there, he'd be 4'... oh. i see.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:26, Reply)

platform built-up
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:27, Reply)

I think I have three pairs of footwear:
Boots for work.

Running shoes.

Pair of daps for casual.

I had some of those idiot sport-sandals for holiday, but thankfully they broke.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:19, Reply)

I've made some shortbread biccies
And I've fashioned one into an hilarious "cock and balls" shape. I really hope it comes out ok. I'll photograph it if it does.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:19, Reply)

Nothing's funnier than genitals!
Tee hee hee!
( Kroney, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:20, Reply)

I've also done a "fanny" and one boob!
I only had enough dough left for one boob, and I REALLY wanted to make a fanny.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:21, Reply)

You need to understand
that all of this is only to annoy Mrs Hats.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:22, Reply)

you kunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:22, Reply)

haha nicely done

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:33, Reply)

and kittens.
Kittens' genitals are the funniest thing ever.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:22, Reply)

Turtles have the best soss

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:35, Reply)

I have ggot some pizza from the lunchtime lecture downstirs, but I've snuck out and I'm not gonna even watch the lecture!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:24, Reply)

i hope your pizza is covered in the disappointed fingerprints and spit of your less fortunate colleagues

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:25, Reply)

nah, I got in tehre first

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:32, Reply)

WHAT TOPPING/S PLEASE

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:26, Reply)

1 slice peperoni
1 slice meat feat
1 slice chicken and peppers
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:31, Reply)

meat feat lol

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:33, Reply)

NO MEAT FEAST CHAT

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:42, Reply)

S
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:47, Reply)

I think I might be ready for my tenth shite soon.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:28, Reply)

"Welcome to Camp Connery, the net-based games start around ten-ish"

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:30, Reply)

who's using them?

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:31, Reply)

me, Reg. ME.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:36, Reply)

so ones your not wearing at any given time are still classed as in use and arnt backup 'sneaks'
gotcha
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:41, Reply)

He's got on sneaks but he needs a new pair, cause basketball courts in the summers got girls there

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:44, Reply)

My new shoes have been 'out for delivery' for two days now......

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:34, Reply)

typical brogue traders

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:42, Reply)

nice

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:44, Reply)

Well done Sir!
*salutes*
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:46, Reply)

Thanks for that Monts.....yeah thanks a fucking load
I now have "summertime" by Will "wingnut" Smith as an earworm
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:41, Reply)

You need to unwind

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:42, Reply)

>:(

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:42, Reply)

you seem slightly transformed

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:45, Reply)

Piss off you bent spastic

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:46, Reply)

if ain't broke then don't try to fix it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:49, Reply)

I really wan't to angry at you Nakers
but I just can't find it in my heart
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:51, Reply)

what's up harters?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:53, Reply)

Reckon we can get him to flounce?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:55, Reply)

Go for it Short round

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:56, Reply)

Where should I start?
Your embezzlement of company funds, leading to loss of other peoples jobs?
Your marital infidelity?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:00, Reply)

Why stop there make MOAR stuff up, the truth is boring anyway

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:01, Reply)

Like when you raped your own son?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:02, Reply)

Yep, that's better keep em coming half pint

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:03, Reply)

Also when you caused the financial crash of 2008 by providing false information on your mortgage

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:05, Reply)

:o
wait....who else knows about this?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:11, Reply)

Maybe i SHOULD POUR MY HEART OUT ON HERE THAT NORMALLY WORKS WELL

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:56, Reply)

Jeez, I was only asking...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:02, Reply)

No wonder Chompy hates you

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:04, Reply)

well I never...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:08, Reply)

Exactly and that is why he hates you

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:09, Reply)

being disliked by chompy is, quite frank;y, a win in my book

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:11, Reply)

piss off, Chompy is TBOH

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:11, Reply)

Not here harters, he's not here

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:12, Reply)

Well I miss Cho-cho
when a poster goes the site diminishes.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:18, Reply)

I THINK WE SHARE THE SAME BOOK
although i also think i am winning the book
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:15, Reply)

you've won a metaphorical Encyclopedia Brittanica

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:16, Reply)

The Daily Mash mentioned The Macc Ladds.
So I'm stuck with Sweaty Betty.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:45, Reply)

Damn it's now been replaced with "Black Betty"
this is a much better earworm THANKS
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:50, Reply)

Crazy Horses

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:51, Reply)

NOONNNNONOOOOOOOOOOOOO

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:51, Reply)

Replace with 'Horny Seahorse' and you have an idea what I've been going through.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:53, Reply)

is this you Frog?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFD1Jaeo8Jk
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:55, Reply)

Not me personally, but I have been in similar situations.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:58, Reply)

haha....NOW SHARE MY EARWORM
www.youtube.com/watch?v=R044sleOW6I

Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)
Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)

Black Betty had a child (Bam-ba-Lam)
The damn thing gone wild (Bam-ba-Lam)
She said, "I'm worryin' outta mind" (Bam-ba-Lam)
The damn thing gone blind (Bam-ba-Lam)
I said Oh, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)
Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)

Oh, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)
Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)

She really gets me high (Bam-ba-Lam)
You know that's no lie (Bam-ba-Lam)
She's so rock steady (Bam-ba-Lam)
And she's always ready (Bam-ba-Lam)
Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)
Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)

Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)
Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)

She's from Birmingham (Bam-ba-Lam)
Way down in Alabam' (Bam-ba-Lam)
Well, she's shakin' that thing (Bam-ba-Lam)
Boy, she makes me sing (Bam-ba-Lam)
Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-Lam)
Whoa, Black Betty
BAM-BA-LAM
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:00, Reply)

An African lady called Betty came into my restaurant and asked "Is there any chicken on the menu?"

I replied "No black Betty, it's ham or lamb."
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:04, Reply)

*pours pint*
Sup loaksey?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:05, Reply)

Cheers, don't mind if I do
*chugs pint*
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:06, Reply)

I prefer the theme to Black Beauty
Der Nerrrr! der ner ner ner ner ner ner nerrr NERRRRRR!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:04, Reply)

I simply refuse to have that as an earworm
However take this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLJvWIX75kA
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:07, Reply)

Not clicking that etc....

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:08, Reply)

that is quite literally the most bent film ever

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:09, Reply)

And you know your apples when it comes to bent

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:10, Reply)

your mum was licking my "apples" just last night

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:12, Reply)

according to your wife there more like sour grapes

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:15, Reply)

I sing this to my kids
I am a bad father
( Peej, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:53, Reply)

Nah, that's quality fathering, right there.
I'm now on Miss Macclesfield.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 12:58, Reply)

I've been at work since 12 and managed to only do one job
and that was logging a ticket to make somebody else to some work. Livin' the dream, yo.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:05, Reply)

Ohhhhhhhh....so there you go rubbing my face in it by mentioning WORK
yeah, thanks for that thank a whole lot Kroney
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:08, Reply)

What's happening, Harters
is that, like you, I'm not actually working. However, unlike you, I'm getting paid.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:09, Reply)

>:(
well really
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:10, Reply)

Oh, pipe down, Susan.

( Kroney, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:13, Reply)

ignore him he's blobbing or some shit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:11, Reply)

Fucking embarrassing when a man gets all pissy and stroppy.
Lets the whole damned gender down.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:13, Reply)

harters is letting our entire species down

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:13, Reply)

Ring the alarm
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWu45pO29Ds
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:14, Reply)

It must be the day
Achieved the square root of fuck all this morning, other than adding to the list of people that piss me off.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:09, Reply)

We have periods of quiet like this every now and again.
Doesn't quite make up for the more common periods of pants-shitting stress and frustration.
( Kroney, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:10, Reply)

wait you work with Gonz?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:16, Reply)

You're right Mont. I couldn't even open Batt's thread, I'm eating
I believe I have a pair of plimsolls somewhere in mothballs.
I'm downs with the bloods me dude.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:24, Reply)

I have a Sainsbo risotto
It is shit
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:25, Reply)

I got seasons 5, 7 and 9 of Birds of a Feather if you'd like a copy.
Sharron has just blown up Tracy's kitchen by leaving the gas on after heating a mutton vindaloo and the one "with the big nose" turned up in a fancy dress for the fireman.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:33, Reply)

Massive spoil that.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:36, Reply)

Which one's your favourite, Gonz?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:39, Reply)

My favourite one is the one where they all died

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:40, Reply)

I'm a Sharren fan, she's on the ball.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 14:03, Reply)

I have one pair of footwear for my one pair of feet.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:41, Reply)

lol

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:42, Reply)

not really!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:42, Reply)

Is no-one having lunch today? NO LUNCH THREAD?
Just as well as no-one has arrived with my fucking lunch.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:44, Reply)

NEW THREAD
MAY INCLUDE TRACES OF LUNCH
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 25 Sep 2013, 13:45, Reply)