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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I think its time for a generic rant thread
Whats on your mind? Spout some venom here
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:09, 243 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
I'm an oasis of calm right now.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:10, Reply)
I'm too serene for ranting dear, see you on the other side.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:10, Reply)
MEN

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:13, Reply)
ha!

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:13, Reply)
Specifically these ones?
5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2115094
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:14, Reply)
no
actually specifically sexist clients, but why spoil a good story?!
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:17, Reply)
Is there a man there I can speak to about this?

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:18, Reply)
QUITE

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:19, Reply)
officesmirk

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:19, Reply)
maybe you should turn to clam joustinig

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:15, Reply)
racist

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:15, Reply)
where there's blam there's a clam?

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:19, Reply)
slam

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:22, Reply)
damn

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:24, Reply)
We got a goddamn clam slam here, ma'am

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:26, Reply)
Well God Damn

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:57, Reply)
Dunk the funk

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:24, Reply)
Is there something you'd like to share, sporto?
Is mrs cow still ablooblooing about her dead mum and not putting out?
Come on, you're among friends here.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:13, Reply)
No, not at all
Just trying to keep today's post count up
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:13, Reply)
YOU CUNT

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:13, Reply)
:D

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:14, Reply)
You wait till she finds out what was in the pie

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:14, Reply)
BEEF

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:15, Reply)
yeah right

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:17, Reply)
trufax

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:18, Reply)
CANIBAL

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:46, Reply)
Nope, all calm here
Today does not appear to be fuckwit day

Yet.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:14, Reply)
Every day is a fuckwit day
Just the fuckwits change
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:22, Reply)
The problem with fuckwits is that they don't change
and ask the same dumb question again you already answered once but they never listened the first time.....
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:25, Reply)
So can you fix it, or not?

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:26, Reply)
Yup
Turn it off and turn it back on again.
Next!
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:28, Reply)
Sorry, you were saying?

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:26, Reply)
Just a thought
but if the people change but the problem remains then maybe the problem is you...


JUST SAYING
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:46, Reply)
I'm in an excellent mood.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:15, Reply)
Early start on the booze today?

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:16, Reply)
Managed to smuggle himself into a pram and is currently being breastfed by a nanny

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:47, Reply)
I had my rants this morning but too long to go into detail on here.
In a nutshell a friend who insists with vigour on a regular basis that she is curbing her partying ways and letting people take her for a mug has moved back to Manc from Newcastle yesterday and was straight out on the lash with a new group of people to take her for a mug.
I berated her for never having time for anyone unless it involved an all night session, rolling round the gay scene with a nose full of coke.
She's nearing 40 now and it looks pathetic.

I also had a rant about new fangled pop culture. Not in the same breath.

I'm on a one way ticket to meldrew-ville.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:15, Reply)
Apart from that it's good moods all round for a Wednesday

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:16, Reply)
The Darkness really lost their "sparkle" once they passed 50

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:17, Reply)
GUITAR!

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:18, Reply)
Don't letch the bell end

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:20, Reply)
wha?

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:21, Reply)
Their follow up christmas hit

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:22, Reply)
Oh that
Fucking dreadful
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:22, Reply)
Xmas single

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:22, Reply)
I continue being single throughout the whole year actually.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:27, Reply)
You leave Monty alone, he's totally in control of his habits.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:28, Reply)
turns out some counts ent even HEARD of weekend at bernies
a bit of ludovicos whats needed round here for an andrew mccarthy triple bill with mannequin and st elmos fire, get these fluckers up to speed
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:20, Reply)
tggi^

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:21, Reply)
I have a workman in, we've had very awkward chats
I'm now hiding in the kitchen
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:26, Reply)
What about that football, eh?

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:27, Reply)
'Just tries to walk it in' banter.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:28, Reply)
it's ok he's gone now

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:35, Reply)
I spend an awful amount of time pretending I know about 'foot-ball' to 'men'

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:36, Reply)
and now my coffee is cold, thanks you tradesman cunt

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:39, Reply)
Did you have to make them tea? I hate that.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:40, Reply)
nah, he was fixing the entry system in the other flat, which is unoccupied so no kettle etc

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:43, Reply)
Flat? Oh dear.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:43, Reply)
Folkstone? Oh dear.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:45, Reply)
Just outside FolkEStone old bean, in the 'nice' bit.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:46, Reply)
i'll be the judge of that

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:48, Reply)
Please don't. I'd hate for you to think even less of me. :(

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:49, Reply)
Sheltered accomodation ?

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:48, Reply)
well it has a roof if that's what you mean

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:49, Reply)
tradesmansentrancelols

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:30, Reply)
tits?

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:30, Reply)
Fucking countryside.
Only just got a signal. Get it concreted.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:35, Reply)
I had to tell an IFA that you need to put a web address into the address bar, not into Google.
Scarily enough, I need to do this on a regular basis.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:36, Reply)
I google all the web addresses, it still brings it up but it takes longer so it looks like I'm working harder.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:38, Reply)
Nope, all good really.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:37, Reply)
I hope this is true, as you're quite a decent fellow.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:44, Reply)
It is frog. It is true.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:59, Reply)

Shhhh. I know.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:02, Reply)
I fucking hate angry people.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:44, Reply)
Alright vag.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:04, Reply)
Thanks - it's my mother's.
How's you, Windy Pig?
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:05, Reply)
Can't complain too much,
Could do with some more regular work, but keeping my head above the water for the minute.

You?
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:06, Reply)
Busier than Nick Clegg's pants.
Still - halfway through the week - will probably start drinking tomorrow during a long catch-up telephone conversation with my sister.

At the end of the day, there's always booze. Unless one is in Utah.

Or the Middle East.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:17, Reply)
Customers are retards, so that's annoying
Also, the missus is going out of her mind, waiting to hear back from a job she was interviewed for recently. For the time being, she's having to deal with the retards at the job centre. As a result, when she's ranting in the evenings about how shit it is not having a job, I've pointed out I'd rather be spending the days at home right now.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:47, Reply)
how long does it take to decide if someone can flip a burger?

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:50, Reply)
About 2 minutes per side, so *calculates* ......yeah, 2 minutes.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:51, Reply)
those two will be a business powerhouse once gf gets her feet under the desk, you mark my words

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 14:57, Reply)
What sort of work is she looking for?
I'm waiting on a call today, fella said he'd ring at some point today, trying to stay occupied to stop worrying about it.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:01, Reply)
fluffer for working men's club swinger nights

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:05, Reply)
So he's dating chompy's ex?

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:05, Reply)
BAN THYIS SICK FILTH

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:07, Reply)
Working for a pharmaceutical company, can't remember what the job she's gone for it, mind.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:08, Reply)
shut up

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:25, Reply)
NO YOUN

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:25, Reply)

5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2115745
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:30, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2115746
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:32, Reply)

5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2115749
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:33, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2115732
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:34, Reply)

5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2115755
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:36, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2115767
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:38, Reply)
i mean, the bird wot not-andrew-mccarthy cops off with is a bit ropey but the high concept is sound and laughs are never far away

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:29, Reply)
FUN FACT
the guy that plays 'Bernie' in the film weekend at Bernies went on to play the villain in the sequel to the andrewmccarthy film Mannequin called Mannequin on the Move. andrew mccarthy wasnt in that one though it was the the guy off fright nigth and first buffy instead of kim cateralls
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:32, Reply)
Wasn't there a Weekend At Bernies 2 as well?

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:33, Reply)
and don't forget the Gerard Depardieu remake
Le Weekend à Kronies
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:35, Reply)
well done

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:41, Reply)
that's more like it

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:42, Reply)
have a cake

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:44, Reply)
i'm about to put a pizza in the oven

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:45, Reply)
I'm about to put my penis into your mum

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:46, Reply)
WFH lols

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:47, Reply)
OH MY GIDDY ANT THERE WAS!
THE GANGS BACK TOGETHER! OH MY DAYS!!

it were utter shizz, fluckers never learn you cant improve on perfection. counts'll always try and iceskate uphill *shakes head sadly*
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:35, Reply)
Is upper case best for ranting?

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:32, Reply)
I FIND IT SOOTHING

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:33, Reply)
It makes me want to kill things/people with hammers

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:33, Reply)
SAY IT WITH CAPS ON DICKHEAD

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:34, Reply)

no
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:36, Reply)
IT MAKES ME FEEL POWERFUL LIKE A WALRUS REARING UP ONTO IT'S MATE

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:38, Reply)
poor chocho

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:39, Reply)
Officelol

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:39, Reply)
yet Le weekend a Kronies gets nothing?

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:40, Reply)
It received a quiet, dignified click.
Whereas this made me snort loudly.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:41, Reply)
*snigger*

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:39, Reply)
UPPERCASE IS SHIT

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:33, Reply)
Generally it is unless for design/promo purposes.
Often used by semi literate shopkeepers and those a bit special.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:39, Reply)
you can't affiord upper case you unemployed northern povvo

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:33, Reply)
SHUT UP HE RUNS A HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS OF RENTING OUT HIS DEAD MUMS HOUSE TO STUDENTS

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:34, Reply)
Sporters should do this, then he could buy his wife a new dress to stop her bloohooing

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:35, Reply)
I may have to evict her Dad first

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:36, Reply)
i menat your wife's mum
hth xx
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:39, Reply)
And I meant he lives in the house still

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:40, Reply)
bake him into another pie

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:41, Reply)
I have done

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:41, Reply)
Sold now innit.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:37, Reply)
alright cunts

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:40, Reply)
how do?

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:40, Reply)
*nods*

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:41, Reply)
*waves effeminately*

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:41, Reply)
*WANKS*

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:43, Reply)
*flutters long eyelashes*

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:43, Reply)
ALRIGHT HIPPY

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:42, Reply)
Not one reply
What a cunt, eh?
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:46, Reply)
We shouldn't be surprised really.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:46, Reply)
Honestly, he's SUCH a cunt

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:48, Reply)
I wouldn't take it personally, but it does look as though he's seen who responded to him and thought they weren't worth bothering to reply to.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:49, Reply)
I get this alot :(

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:49, Reply)


(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:50, Reply)
Et tu Sportscow?

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:51, Reply)
Sorry man
Owwwwwnly jowwwwking
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:51, Reply)

You're not my friend anymore
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:53, Reply)
:o(

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:53, Reply)
STOP MAKING FUN OF HIS FACE

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:54, Reply)
My nose isn't *that* bulbous.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:54, Reply)
So says YM

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:59, Reply)
IM GOING TO THE PUB WHERE YOU CANT BULLY ME

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:00, Reply)
OH YEAH THIS BETTER BE DELETED WHEN I GET BACK ETC ETC WAH WAH WAH

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:00, Reply)
You're the doctor
Phone your own fucking Waaaaaaaahhhbulance
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:05, Reply)
Benders

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:57, Reply)
I would guess he managed to turn off his monitor
and caught his reflection in the now blacken screen, reminiscent of Bob from 90's classic Twin Peaks
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 15:54, Reply)
soz

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:06, Reply)
Nae bother pal
They *are* all cunts

Edit: Especially that Doctor Frog
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:07, Reply)
:-O

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:08, Reply)
anyone in the pub before 6pm is a cunt, FACT
how do you get to leave do early anyway?
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:11, Reply)
Gaz Cap'n P for tips

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:19, Reply)
because im the second best one ere bruv

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:24, Reply)
I now have a list of hundreds of names to cross check for invoicing :(
Wednesday sucks unwashed hairy lesbian muff.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:00, Reply)
I have taken extensive research into this area
and on the balance of evidence lesbians muffs are not hairy, they could be unwashed though
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:05, Reply)
smellovision notwithstanding

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:05, Reply)
You do realise that the lesbians in the porn you watch aren't lesbians

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:11, Reply)
*drops coffee*

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:13, Reply)
*Sobs uncontrollably*
Say it aint so Jay say it aint so...
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:28, Reply)
does that mean the gays that you watch in gay porn aren't gay?

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:13, Reply)
which lets be honest is pretty bent

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:13, Reply)
well if they aren't they love a cock up their arse.

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:29, Reply)
Aye straight porn scenes shot with a gay guy and a lesser then?

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:31, Reply)
Lets not take things said on here literally.
or we'd all be fucked.

(you first)
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:42, Reply)
Didn't him who played Wolverine
Famously end up doing gay porn to get "into" the business?
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:42, Reply)
Oh I hope so

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:50, Reply)
Of course, real lesbians are quite ugly

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:19, Reply)
it's why they turn gay to begin with, they can't get any cock

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:21, Reply)
Lesbians fit into three categories
Boyish Justin Bieber lookalikes
Lipstick lesbians - they are attractive. I have several as my friends.
and thirdly... Bulldykes
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:30, Reply)
I used to work a few gay nights in nightclubs
and I saw a few stunners, and they were always with a bulldyke.


*makes but the tips were good joke*
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:31, Reply)
Ah, the classic butch&femme combo
*nods sagely*

Wonder if that's in any way related to the good looking one & ugly one combo often seen in straight women on a night out?
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:37, Reply)
In the latter situation
it is the deception move, the fitter one when seen on her own would be an average looker, however by using a hippocrocapig as a wing"wo"man she becomes a stunner...

I don't see how that would work for the Lipstick Bulldyke combo?
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:41, Reply)
and why thin women always have a fat friend

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:43, Reply)
I know two* absolutely stunning lesbians
both have/had** other halves that were fully into hippocrocopig territory

*three if you count my ex, and her now-wife is also well fit, so this might not be a convincing argument

**one of them has just dumped her hippocrocopig and is now with someone who is at least attractive, but is also really quite scary.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:40, Reply)
How can we both have used Hippocrocapig at the same fucking time
You better not be syncing your mensies with me Badge
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:42, Reply)
I dunno chief.
It's a bit scary.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:43, Reply)
I will go with great minds

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:55, Reply)
I had to buy a new tyre.
And whilst I can afford it, I'd still rather not pay what I paid for it.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:18, Reply)
I feel that about most things.
Except YM.

Who pays ME.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:24, Reply)
....to marshal the queue of customers

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:29, Reply)
and she has more tyres

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:30, Reply)
So do I really.
But car stuff is usually exceptionally unrewarding.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:35, Reply)
I'll be honest
she pays me too, and I still feel robbed.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:37, Reply)
I am just about to embark upon a four hour+ drive back home
:(
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:38, Reply)
Is a four hour+ drive like sky+ ?
In that you can record it and re-live it later?
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:41, Reply)
I really wish I could fast foward the A1 part of the journey

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:42, Reply)
Please do continue to post while you drive

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:47, Reply)
Thats a long round trip to the Job Centre double H
surely they have something closer
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:54, Reply)
rant rant rant
wah wah wah!

It's all I ever do these days (mostly to myself...I don't want to burden my guinea pigs with my problems)
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:41, Reply)
It's OK Caves
they don't give a shit. What with being guinea pigs.
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:46, Reply)
they care
....that I give them dandelion leaves. Look, it's not much but at least someone looks forward to me getting home
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:56, Reply)
You could just try out some Peruvian recipes

(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:55, Reply)
*something about korean recipes
for cooking bonzodogs*
(, Wed 9 Oct 2013, 16:57, Reply)

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