Just been asked how I want my tea. I replied black, and got asked if that was with milk.
Any suggestions fot a sarky reply? Are you sarky? Is it the lowest form of wit?
Alt, pint or short?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 13:38, 93 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Are they still waiting for an answer from you?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 13:38, Reply)

im not really interested in either of these questions can you try harder please

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 13:44, Reply)

S'alright, he'll probably drunkenly delete the thread in a minute

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 13:46, Reply)

Sarcasm is far from the lowest form of wit.
In fact it can be one of the best, especially as Americans just don't get it.

Anyone who thinks it is the lowest form of wit has never seen Andy Parsons attempt to tell a joke.
( Peej, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 13:45, Reply)

Sarcasm is fucking brilliant

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 13:49, Reply)

This thread is fucking brilliant.

( Peej, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 13:50, Reply)

Bear Pookie is the best one here.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 13:51, Reply)

My life is enriched since I started posting here.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 13:52, Reply)

this is probably true

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:03, Reply)

Thanks love. That means a lot.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 13:53, Reply)

Of course it is

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 13:56, Reply)

that would be l'esprit d'escalier by this point
i like a bit of sarcasm. so long as it's done well.

alt: voddies!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 13:48, Reply)

I do like nice vodka That blueberry one is nice.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 13:56, Reply)

I always thought you were a chap! My apologies ma'am.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:19, Reply)

Just shake your head and mutter under your breath.
Alt: Yes, I'd like a pint. Yes, I'm short. So fucking what?
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 13:52, Reply)

Surely tea without milk is, in point of fact, brown?
alt: pint. Several of.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 13:52, Reply)

Good point.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 13:54, Reply)

Surely most Black people are, in point of fact, brown?

( Peej, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 13:56, Reply)

We've had it wrong all these years

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:00, Reply)

Turn him over!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:07, Reply)

Now he tastes like pizza!
Was swipey here first?
( Peej, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:09, Reply)

officelol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:11, Reply)

They must be, or you'd lose them at night

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:09, Reply)

Unless they smile! AMIRITE!?

( Peej, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:10, Reply)

Pint.
You know what's irking me? This Stoptover nonsense.

It'll be bloody Movember next as well.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 13:55, Reply)

Yeah, fuck that shit
If I want a drink I'll fucking have one (i.e. 8)

Movember can get to fuck as well. I grow a beard once a week then shave it off - fucking pussies taking a month for a football* moustache

* 11 a side
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 13:57, Reply)

I called my eldest son a beardtard the other day because it only seems to grow under his chin
the missus was not impressed, I've got to stop letting this place seep into real life
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:03, Reply)

hahaha!
I like this
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:03, Reply)

Click.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:05, Reply)

Excellent
Applies to all those stupid under the chin part beards too, as sported by the nu-metal fraternity, for example.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:11, Reply)

Full beard stripe without moustache = gnome

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:11, Reply)

Bravo!

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:17, Reply)

www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/screw-stoptober--smoking-is-cool-8851906.html
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 15:09, Reply)

Love a bit sarcasm, me (!)
Short please. Anything but Whiskey.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:01, Reply)

*hating whiskey high-fives*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:02, Reply)

Me an' all. All spirits can gtf.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:05, Reply)

I like a good gin but dont really drink any others

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:07, Reply)

I went through a 'nothing but gin' phase
It's a bit intense on a big night out though
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:07, Reply)

Pints for nights
Gin to chill
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:12, Reply)

No. Spirits are divine with the right mixer.
Not really one for drinking them neat.

Maybe flavoured vodka and brandy
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:07, Reply)

raspberry voddie on the rocks ftw

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:11, Reply)

Nah. Cider, beer or wine for me. Also: pudding wine and port.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:12, Reply)

Im well into flavoured cider at the minute
Might be a bit gay but it's tasty as fuck.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:17, Reply)

Homophobe!

( Peej, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:18, Reply)

I get accused of this all the time :(
I suppose I am a bit.

Mincy gay pricks.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:22, Reply)

hahahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:26, Reply)

Its nice but I get sick of it after a few bottles
Too sweet
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:22, Reply)

I normally alternate with a nice Prosecco
In the house anyway. I'd get lynched drinking that when out.

Mind I was sometimes partial to a bottle of red wine when clubbing.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:33, Reply)

I'm not sure I've ever had wine when out at a pub

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:34, Reply)

That's because you aren't a *complete* bender

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:47, Reply)

What's your beef today, frog?
You're throwing your weight around and no mistake.

Wanna go outside and settle this like men?

NO BUMMIN!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:50, Reply)

WANK RACE!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:50, Reply)

Bring your own biscuits!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:52, Reply)

hahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:54, Reply)

IM A SOMEBODY ROUND HERE DUDE, DONT YOU FORGET IT

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:52, Reply)

So Battered
You know that "I've been back for a few hours and I feel like my heart has been ripped out post" where you called me gay. Heres the context.

The two people giving me shit for it in that thread went on a really long holiday around the states. The kind of holiday that most people either can't afford or can't leave their responsibilities for long enough. Since they got back all she's gone on about is how shit everything is and how depressing it is not being there. My opinion on it is, I live here too, I know its a bit shit and depressing, deal with it. So the other day she writes "Its been over 2 months since we got back and I still feel like my heart has been ripped out" which filled me with mirth. No one has died, nothing bad has happened. They went on holiday and had to come home, well boo fucking hoo. So I decided to take the piss.

Apparently its me being a dick and not her being an entitled, spoiled brat.
( Peej, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:15, Reply)

Wut?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:18, Reply)

tl:dr
man has stupid friend, gets called gay
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:19, Reply)

I should have told this tale in the mirth thread
Worst part is I am related through marriage and so I have no choice but to spend time with her.
( Peej, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:21, Reply)

People being depressed for the sake of it.
I have a friend like this. She has a lovely fella, good job, nice house, all in all a solid life.

She moans constantly about little things on her facebook EVERY FUCKING DAY. Her life is so hard wah wah wah.

Every time she invites me anywhere I have an excuse.
Think she's taken the hint now
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:21, Reply)

I have a schoolmate on FB who does that all the fucking time
She is this close (makes finger pinching gesture) to being deleted a la Al
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:26, Reply)

ITS NOT A SIGN OF WEAKNESS, ITS A SIGN OF CARING TOO MUCH.
Share if you agree; 95% of the people won't share but 1 in 4 would understand.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:30, Reply)

GOD I HATE DEPRESSED PEOPLE

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:33, Reply)

Depressing, isn't it?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:34, Reply)

WHO NEEDS EM TANGLES, THEY ARENT ANY FUN TO TALK TO

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:46, Reply)

If it is a chemical thing, then get on the meds.
Otherwise STFU if your life is not moan-worthy
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:34, Reply)

They're not depressed
they just like moaning.
( Peej, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:35, Reply)

YEAH THEY DO

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:45, Reply)

Whatcha talkin' 'bout phillis?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:29, Reply)

nice

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:30, Reply)

Look I was talking to Battered
it was a private conversation. No-one has any right to comment negatively just because I put it in the public domain, said every fucking whining facebook user who was disagreed with EVER.
( Peej, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:35, Reply)

u ok hun xx

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:35, Reply)

Woh', I geninuenly don't have a clue what you're talking about, I just wanted a bit of scandal. You know we're safe man.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:41, Reply)

Don't worry
Neither do I.
( Peej, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 15:18, Reply)

Kick her in the fish mitten.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 15:05, Reply)

I'd lose my shoe
or "sneaker" if you're Monty.
( Peej, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 15:17, Reply)

"You know what, I'll just get my own the next time, you fucking stupid cunt."

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:17, Reply)

^tggi^

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 15:10, Reply)

Tea. What a good idea.
brb
( Kroney, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:19, Reply)

but you only just got here

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:21, Reply)

He's got a.weak bladder too.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:23, Reply)

Surrender to the toilette

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:25, Reply)

Black I hope. With milk.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:22, Reply)

This made me do a lol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:23, Reply)

The only acceptable reply to this
is violence.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:19, Reply)

Go on, 'it 'im Vag!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:21, Reply)

Fing is, mate, you're gonna look a right cunt if you dont do nuffink, yeah? You gotta 'it 'im.....

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:23, Reply)

Shiv or GTF

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:25, Reply)

Shagging tonight is it?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:54, Reply)

How rude!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 14:58, Reply)

Sarcasm sorry.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 15:07, Reply)

Hmmmmm.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 15:09, Reply)

Wine mostly
pints if I'm out with mates;

shorts if Dad comes over and would otherwise drink all my whisky.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 15:13, Reply)