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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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It's Friday. It's 5:31
Where are you cunts?
Alt: How much would you need to retire with an acceptable lifestyle?
Altalt: If you did retire, what* would you do with your time?

*other than YM and wanking.
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 17:32, 143 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
st Pancras international station yessssssssss! !!!! 1!! 1! 11!!

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 17:37, Reply)
i'm off to the cinema in about 5 mins
alt: millions

altalt: travelling, yachting, shopping.

i'm not interested in ym, wanking or ym wanking, thanks.
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 17:38, Reply)
Yeah but...
...how many millions? And, other than the YM etc, what would you do with your time whilst yachting etc? Would there be good deeds etc or just hedonistic self indulgence?
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 17:41, Reply)
Watcha seeing?

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 17:42, Reply)
Alt: are you asking about cash held or total asset ownership + cash?

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 17:45, Reply)
How much would you need to have, just as cash (do with it what you will)

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 17:51, Reply)
In pub at mo, likely to remain here for a while.
Arts convention tomorrow, then lantern walk and firework display for Diwali. Get home, chill out and bosh the psilocybin I picked the other day. 200 between 3 of us, should be interesting, not done for fucking years. It'll be a long day, taking it easy in the juicer tonight.
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 17:46, Reply)
eye lyke dis

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 17:48, Reply)
I'm making a donnor kabab tonight. True story.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 17:47, Reply)
Nice one Stavros.
Do you have half an alsatian in the fridge too?
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 17:49, Reply)
I'm still at work
boggling, I know. But it looks good when I wave bye bye to my manager.
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 17:57, Reply)
depends which retirement planning product you intend to use
Annuities ent worth shit, drawdown is better but has risk attached.

Anything else and it's cloud fucken cuckoo land.
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 17:58, Reply)
Thanks for that Lord Sugar.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 18:03, Reply)
right yer your right batts
I don't know a single thing about retirement planning, pensions, investments or anything related to the COBS regime for regulated financial advice.

You managed to effectively mislay 57k, you're no IFA yersel, ken?
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 18:06, Reply)
I didn't misplace it, plus, it has now been accounted for.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 18:11, Reply)
Biscuit tin, or down the settee?

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 18:13, Reply)
pretty much this

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 18:16, Reply)
you recklessly handed over large sums outside of the accountability and protection framework that a simple trust setup
Could ensure.

So tell me Battso, how much of the diploma in financial planning have you done? Just asking, because this is another area you seem to be claiming unfounded expertise in.

Also known as 'chompypaedia'.
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 18:15, Reply)
also known as lols

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:38, Reply)
major delayed trains on a friday yesssssssssssssss

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 18:06, Reply)
1. on the tube
2. About 125kg
3. Learn stuff. Become a better musician.
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 18:30, Reply)
Harrogate. Just back from
Watching Sunshine on Leith
French restaurant later.
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 18:32, Reply)
do you live in Harrogate?

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 18:50, Reply)
No

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 23:45, Reply)
I'm going to echo above and say millions
I'm currently lounging on the sofa and astonished at how much hair-cuts cost.

Alt: travel and have fun.
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 18:33, Reply)
Well this is a fucking shit journey home
What sort do cunting trains don't have fucking power sockets to charge your fucking phones. It's like being in the dark ages, and I'm not gonna get home until fucking half nine. Cunting fuck I'm an a foul mood now. And I only have tWO fuckin beers. BALLSACK.
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 18:44, Reply)
use this time as an opportunity to reflect
catch up with your reading and punch some cunt in the fuck
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 18:45, Reply)
I ENT got nuffink with me and my iPads almost run out.
I've done a load of reflecting, I just wanted to be home now, which I normally would be if I hadn't stayed late at work to help some prick out. I've got salvage hunters to catch up on.
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 18:49, Reply)
Wel this is a depressing post

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 19:34, Reply)
All my post are a bit dull, it's my whole thang

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 19:44, Reply)
Pub.
alt: enough to guarantee the equivalent of minimum 500k a year tax free keeping place with inflation until I die, however invested.

altalt: learn how to make bespoke wooden furniture.
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 19:00, Reply)
Some cunt on his phone keeps saying he will be home at 'six past' and it's annoying me.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 19:08, Reply)
Shank 'im bruv
The judge'll understand
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 19:27, Reply)
He got off just in time mate, I tells ya

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 19:44, Reply)
£14m I reckon would do it

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 19:33, Reply)
Seven each is fine by me handsome.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 19:46, Reply)

£14m I reckon your mum
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 20:50, Reply)
On my sofa with a glass of red
2 million quid would do it

I'd cook more, travel more and fuck ym more
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:25, Reply)
Why not start an evening thread Sporty?

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:28, Reply)
Jeffers, Im too fucking tired sir
I hope you are watching the football. Townsend is MOM for me
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:37, Reply)
I am watching it.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:38, Reply)
He deserved that goal

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:39, Reply)
He did indeed.
With his right peg as well.
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:41, Reply)
Oh did someone kick the ball into the goal? That's a football! I love the game, me.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:42, Reply)
yeah, but did you see that ludicrous display last night
the problem is they always try and walk it in
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:44, Reply)
Their problem is that have never really 'gelled' as a team

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:45, Reply)
yeah, there's been some atrocious mangement decisions

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:46, Reply)
They hang back when they should be pushing forward and making space

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:47, Reply)
they should kick that ball at the goal more often
after all it's a game of two halves and seagulls love boats
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:48, Reply)
Yeah, I think the first half they should concentrate on kicking the ball to the left of the telly screen, and reverse that plan for the second.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:49, Reply)
you should apply for the managers job
not like the jokers that they have now
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:50, Reply)
They need to think outside the box like what I do innit.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:53, Reply)
or inside the goal box, eh? ho ho ho
banter, innit?
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:54, Reply)
HEAVY BANTS CAVY BOOYA

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:02, Reply)
Not now. The grown ups are talking.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:44, Reply)
lolzors

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:52, Reply)
It's okay everyone I'm home now four hours late.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:32, Reply)
but with a great tale to tell
with drama to rival The Iliad
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:38, Reply)
Hello Ms Cave
I hope you are well and happy
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:40, Reply)
evening sir
I am unreasonably tired and halfway through making a hat. Having a good evening, sir?
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:41, Reply)
I called you sir twice here
I hope you appreciate that kind of respect.

sir
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:41, Reply)
I certainly do ma'am
Had what can be described as a "fucking shit" week but now Ihas wine and a seat
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:47, Reply)
:( Will things be better next week?
or at the very least, after wine?
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:49, Reply)
Hopefully, yes
Thank you for asking.

I am boxing in my stairs in a non-euphamism way at the moment
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:51, Reply)
You got shot of that squatting cunt of a boy wizard then.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:53, Reply)
i don't know what this means
so I'm assuming you have a punch bag on your landing and are skipping back and forth giving it a good twatting to get all the nastiness out of your system
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:53, Reply)
Nothing quite so exciting
Putting back original panelling that had been changed to shit ironwork
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:57, Reply)
oh right
you should punch it instead to make it more interesting. So, DIY all weekend?
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:59, Reply)
Hopefully not

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:03, Reply)
Sporty is the Nick Knowles of OT.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:07, Reply)
He's a big nosed craggy faced twat with no discernible talent or appeal?

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:09, Reply)
If Knowles did the Great North Run
Then Sporty would be spending the day signing autographs with 'best wishes, N Knowles'.
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:13, Reply)
tggi^

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:15, Reply)
Is it true you take media students with you
When you go to B&Q so they can film you?
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:16, Reply)
Thank you. If it was anyone else I'd think that was a bit sarcastic.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:40, Reply)
i was gripped
that psiren-like creature on their mobile could have easily dragged a lesser man off his course
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:42, Reply)
He looked a bit like someone I knew who died. But with a rubbish beard and jeans that were too tight for his fat arse.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:43, Reply)
YES I WAS LOOKING AT HIS ARSE

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:44, Reply)
ah a demonic spirit
hoping to lure you to hell using glamour magic to appear as one you once knew. You were lucky to escape, especially that arse
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:44, Reply)
It was ok I rolled a d20 and defeated him

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:47, Reply)
you must have had a natural 20 with a +4 modifier!
smooth
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:49, Reply)
oh man I love LARP

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:50, Reply)
you lose! there are no dice in larp

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:51, Reply)
With LARP, everyone's a loser.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:53, Reply)
Ha ha what a prick! He's embarrassed himself!

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:54, Reply)
I NO, RITE?!

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:54, Reply)
A proper LOOSER! speaking of dice, he should 'roll' himself a fat one and try to forget the shame.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:57, Reply)
boom!

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:59, Reply)
Speaking of dice, you should roll yourself off the nearest cliff.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:01, Reply)
Ooooooh he's made a fool of himself again!
I just did the 'roll' joke, you just can't 'shake' it off!
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:03, Reply)
The embarrassment is experienced by those who LARP

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:56, Reply)
That sounds like what happened. I dunno as I was distracted by the latest copy of white dwarf.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:51, Reply)
Did you read about the new range of D12s they have?
It's going to revolutionise everything. Not been such a change since the D4 damage and it's power to the people came back with the renegade master
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:52, Reply)
No, I'm not really an Eminem supergroup fan tbh
More cypress hill/public enemy
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:56, Reply)
YEAH BOYEEEEE!

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:56, Reply)
"Brap"

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:00, Reply)
Toss that ham in the frying pan like spam

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:01, Reply)
So I put away the shotgun, bought me a glock....

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:05, Reply)
Here's your ticket, hear the drummer get wicked!

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:08, Reply)
I've got blood on my hands and there's no remorse, I've got blood on my dick cos I fucked a corpse

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:12, Reply)
This is what I mean, an anti-nigger machine

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:15, Reply)
I've finished a bottle of wine, getting stuck in to some Balvenie and I'm just lubing up the ass of YM

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:34, Reply)

YM my hamster
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:37, Reply)
Nah, Grace is too tight

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 21:41, Reply)
+ to mention

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:07, Reply)
shit the fuck off

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:10, Reply)
Fuck a horse
horse hamster
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:13, Reply)
get fucked

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:14, Reply)
\o/

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:21, Reply)
shit off

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:23, Reply)
I meant to say I'm going don the boozer tomorrow if you'd like to not meet for a pint? Yeah?

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:31, Reply)
No thanks.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:32, Reply)
So you don't want to not meet me? Okay.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:33, Reply)
I dunno, the highlight so far has been not meeting Kroney and his ex girlfriend when they visited top childrens' attraction the Jorvik Remortgage Centre.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:37, Reply)
Shall I give you a minute?
I dunno, the higjluht so far has been not meeting Kroney and his ex girlfriend wjen the

(DOZ-One crutch mavens and one act plays, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:37, Ignore, Reply, I like this!)
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:38, Reply)
yer spackoid fingers in the dark innit

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:39, Reply)
Great band, liked their early stuff.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:41, Reply)
Enola Gayer

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:42, Reply)
I can't compete. Maybe not another time when I'm doing something better?

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:40, Reply)
I dunno like, I've met Tangles (he's dreamy), The Disappointed (he's tiny and old) and Bear Pookie (he can hold his drink)

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:41, Reply)
Christ, you're brave.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:41, Reply)
innit
Makes all this 'being avoided' thing worth it.
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:43, Reply)
I don't want to meet any of you creepy bastards. Apart from some of the good ones maybe.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:44, Reply)
I want to get dingered with Reginald Donkeyfuck

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:45, Reply)
I want to go to Mcdonalds with him.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:47, Reply)
I want to go to Back to Basics with him and get dingered up then throw shapes to fucked up drug music.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:48, Reply)
Actually I'd take him to a nice fish and chip shop.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:49, Reply)
There used to be a chip shop in Edinburgh that had a DJ
Last time I was in there was about 4am on a Sunday morning, geezers were still eckied and coming down, this Turkish kid was mixing on technics with a Pioneer DJM500 while the dudes were spraffin' awa and gurning.

Top vibes like, ken?
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:51, Reply)
I like to wash down my haddock with some nosebleed gabba techno.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:53, Reply)
Nah, it was deep house.

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:55, Reply)
Eff dat

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:55, Reply)
Deep house is alright
I could link you to loads of quality deep house tracks.

But listening to individual tracks outside of a mix is just weird.
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:56, Reply)
Yo!

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:30, Reply)
FACEBOOK HAVE DISABLED THE UNSEARCHABLE FUNCTION ITS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE WE ARE PROPER FRIENDS

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:32, Reply)
hey, I can give you all sorts of personal information about Nakington

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:33, Reply)
Link a brother up man

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:34, Reply)
www.nakersisawankingprick.co.uk

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:35, Reply)
*favourites*

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:36, Reply)
I'm everyone's favourite

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:38, Reply)
TRUDAT

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:39, Reply)
you're a fucking quim

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:41, Reply)
At least I've got one!
No, wait.....
(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:42, Reply)
Hi Rachelswipe!

(, Fri 11 Oct 2013, 22:43, Reply)

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