Friday morning eh?
How is today going to pan out for you do you reckon? Doss till 2 and take a half day? Work till 6 then straight to the pub, sink 8 pints and pass out by 10?

Alt: I'm on a train, I like trains, not in the creepy trainspotting way, they're just a nice easy way to travel.

Altalt: breakfast woes, I only had 1 weetabix left this morning so I had to have toast.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Oct 2013, 8:13, 76 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Second option sounds the best to me

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 8:15, Reply)

You're a true office hero.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Oct 2013, 8:20, Reply)

I love the USA.
I am watching an advert for odorless febreeze, with cheese.

There are no trains. Just the Mighty Stang.

Alt alt: it's no breakfast mountain!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 8:17, Reply)

America eh?
Had Sex with an eagle yet?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Oct 2013, 8:19, Reply)

GAY SEX! SHIT YEAH,

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 8:20, Reply)

NO CHUTNEY CHAT

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 8:34, Reply)

Oh man
I want my house to smell of cheese
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:19, Reply)

Odourless
You aren't American yet Stunned.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:35, Reply)

This place is the future to your British backwardness.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 8:24, Reply)

work until 5:30 as usual
Home by 6:30, couple of pints at the local then a quiet night in.

Christ, I sounded like AA there.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 8:33, Reply)

As it happens I do have a half day booked
I might go and buy a coffee table, or if the weather is shit I'll get one off the internet instead.

Alt: Trains are good, especially with not having a car anymore.

Altalt: Probs a full english at work as part of my "doss till 2"
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 8:37, Reply)

Don't do what I did and buy a coffee table that's a bit too tall.
It will forever wind you up.

In other coffee table tales, I lived in a squat for a bit with a table made out of some bricks I found in the garden and an old mirror. Classy.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Oct 2013, 8:44, Reply)

You squatted over a mirrored coffee table?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 8:45, Reply)

That's not what I said and you know it.
But I will. If you like.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Oct 2013, 8:47, Reply)

That's what I was hoping
xx
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 8:53, Reply)

Hopefully quite well
I'm at a gig tonight, should be good. That does mean legging it out of work at bang on 5, mind.

Alt: I'm much preferring trains atm, as National Express takes far too fucking long.

AltAlt: Sausage, bacon and cheese for me, as I'm a fat fuck.

Monty, did you know that Motorhead are touring with Saxon? They play Brixton on November 16th.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 8:50, Reply)

do you still listen to teenybopper metal bands?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 8:55, Reply)

I'm not sure how you'd define 'teenybopper'
This is who I'm off to see tonight
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 8:59, Reply)

I have a friend that is hugely in to volbeat,
I am not sold on them yet, would like to see them live I reckon.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:04, Reply)

I saw them a couple of years ago at Sonisphere, thought they were excellent

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:05, Reply)

Going out for a mates birthday tonight
Wife has said £10 limit, so one fucking drink each, I hate remortgaging time, she makes us live like povvos even though we're not.
( Peej, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 8:58, Reply)

what rate are you remortgaging from/to etc?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:00, Reply)

You should spend that tenner on Frosty Jack
And get tanked up before you go out.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:16, Reply)

Is there any point in going out?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:16, Reply)

None whatsoever from what I can tell.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:20, Reply)

That would be 3 pints on a good day

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:23, Reply)

You don't need to drink to have a good time, right?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:17, Reply)

hahahahahahaha!
What?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:18, Reply)

I dunno, I think I'm still a bit pissed from last night

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:24, Reply)

Worst Jermaine Stewart single ever...

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:49, Reply)

when she hands out your pocket money from her purse does it still smell of your balls?

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:20, Reply)

ZING!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:22, Reply)

Mee-yoww....

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:29, Reply)

I found that I'd run out of coffee this morning
then the Metro was late so today hasnt got off to the best of starts. I have loads to do but this will not stop a lunchtime pub visit

Alt: I like trains and normally the Metro but when it goes wrong it goes WRONG

AltAlt:
I have had nothing as yet - woe
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:18, Reply)

I like the romance of big train stations, and the trains therein.
Everyone at a train station is on a mission, but they're not slightly frightened like at an airport.

I particularly like Paddington, and Bristol Temple Meads, but also the little tiny rural ones that are still in use, like Stone in Staffordshire.

Altalt: I ain't had any breakfast yet. I think I shall get a yoggit.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:23, Reply)

Today is gonna be ACE. Maybe. Dunno.
Alt: I love trains. I get at least 20 a week. I'm a big fan of Holloway Road and Russell Square as they have lifts.
Altalt: Nowt.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:29, Reply)

It's going well so far

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:30, Reply)

Is it? Why? What's happening?
No one tells me anything!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:31, Reply)

Check the secret messageboard

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:32, Reply)

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?????

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:39, Reply)

dunno. bored. might learn how to photoshop or do those animation things with that constipated beardo guy
summat tells me that requires a level of patience i ent got

alt: i fucken love trains. cos i dont use them for work it usually means im going to do something exciting so im all like squeeeee n shit

altalt: i had not shredded wheat, probs summat like wheated shreds. tell me more about your toast, are you the kinda cunt that eeks out a knob painstakingly into each corner and edge, spreading it out so thin it could get a cover story on Bella? or do you cover it quickly with doorstep wedges of butter that get melted and spread in to make way for another layer just to be sure?
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:29, Reply)

Deffo doorstep wedges of butter
thin margarine is worse than just not bothering
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:33, Reply)

NO BUTTER

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:40, Reply)

You dairywrong

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:41, Reply)

NO SPREAD

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:42, Reply)

Bob Marley lesser known zzzzzzzz

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:44, Reply)

In the office for the first time in about 2 months

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:38, Reply)

Are you wearing trousers?
I'm in the waiting area for my interview, the tea tastes horrid.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:39, Reply)

I wouldn't work there, then.

( Kroney, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:40, Reply)

Unless he's applying to be the tea boy
He could really make a difference
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:41, Reply)

I had to check
Yes, I'm wearing trousers. Good luck with the interview. What's the job?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:42, Reply)

Contract killer.
The word's got around that Windy's the sort of person who can knock a person off in the bogs and leave nothing to connect it to him.

Also he's quite good at killing people lol
( Kroney, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:00, Reply)

See, my work provide PG Tips and it's shit.
But I've got a tin of Yorkshire Tea on my desk.

I once worked for a company that provided tea and coffee but the tea they provided was Lipton Yellow, for fucks sake.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:49, Reply)

Christ.
I don't I can add anything to this that actually makes it look any more tragic.

b3ta.com/questions/baddates/post2125810
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:55, Reply)

Maybe his nodding balloon hat was blocking her view?
He makes zombie films, you know.
( Kroney, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:01, Reply)

I bet he really liked her as well and had even considered opening up his limited edition still-boxed Japan only Rapeotron for the occasion.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:02, Reply)

Is this a parody or something?
b3ta.com/questions/baddates/post2125813

Or is he actually being serious, I can't tell.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:11, Reply)

I liked the earnest reply which suggested that by indulging his manchild instincts he was somehow ultimately making himself happier.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:13, Reply)

also:
No wonder Chompy went so odd after Pizzagate, he was having flashbacks.

b3ta.com/questions/baddates/post2125926
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:15, Reply)

You secretly love QOTW don't you? It's nice you've taken time from your busy schedule to compile and categorise quite a few of them.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:09, Reply)

How could you not love a forum in which...
....people post things like 'I bought some wine and then drank it'?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:14, Reply)

That Katy Perry sure don't write them like she used to

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:22, Reply)

I'm on-call this weekend.
I'm supposed to be going to the Cinema and watching Filth tonight.

I can't really be arsed today. I've not really been arsed all week.

I'm changing teams at the end of the month.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:40, Reply)

You're going gay?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:41, Reply)

haha

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:43, Reply)

lol, very good.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 9:43, Reply)

Let us know if its any good
Sounds alright. "As one reviewer has also mentioned, this film is totally bonkers, it's off its head with some of the most vial scenes of drug taking, booze, sexism, misogyny & homophobia. Don't let this put you off. It's a roller coaster ride of paranoia, debauchery and twists and double crossing back stabbing."
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:07, Reply)

"drug taking, booze, sexism, misogyny & homophobia."
Just like here!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:08, Reply)

Alright, will do.
I read the book 12ish years ago but can't remember much of it, aside from it being a bit good.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:16, Reply)

Marrning Pig.
Docs, chemist and shedloads of paprework in a bit. As far as brekkies goes, it's been black pudding and egg butties ,fucking ace. No woes at all. Good solid hangover grub, I went to a.gallery exhibition launch last night and got seduced by red wine. Head like a wind tunnel today.
And alt, trains are excellent. Except when they jave noisy kids in them. Noisy kids are.not good eben.your own .
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:02, Reply)

Great news! Mr Ban Ki Moon from The United Nations has been in touch via email!
Looks like I'm getting a lump sum of $8,500,000 USD!
I know it's him as he's using his personal 'yahoo' email address, and started it 'Attention Dear' which, if you know him like I do, is *sooooo* Ban Ki Moon!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:02, Reply)

Haha oh man, that's typical Ban Ki
Taking time out of busy schedule umpiring international squabbles to give his mates vast sums of dosh. What a hero.
( Kroney, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:05, Reply)

Typical Ban Ki Moon! *slants eyes*

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:07, Reply)

Crikey, it's a good job Chompy isn't still here
www.kickstarter.com/projects/1708005089/picobrew-zymatic-the-automatic-beer-brewing-applia
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:09, Reply)

well yeah
oh and there's a link as well!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:14, Reply)

Work like a bastard until 5, then fuck this shit off in a haze of green for the weekend.
Yes.

Breakfast woes. Im avin a coffee.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 10:37, Reply)