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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Word holmes

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 18:55, 136 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
Shut up Gonz.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 18:58, Reply)
Terrible Bullying.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:02, Reply)
Alright?

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:03, Reply)
Not bad, you alright?

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:06, Reply)
Yeah. Very tired otherwise good.
Any recent food concoctions we can laugh at?

I cooked a sausage, mushroom & puy lentil casserole recently.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:11, Reply)
Good man.
Hah, nothing I can think of, yesterday I did honey-mustard duck legs with a hint of curry powder and a pearl barley rissotto. It's something i've cooked dozens of times but I got distracted and burnt it, so had to scrape some black bits off... it was still edible though.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:44, Reply)
Excel-lent, Watson.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 18:59, Reply)
What about the rest of MS Office, aren't you going to lend me that too?
Haw haw haw.... who's about this place these days? I've polished off another decade of life in a few hours.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:03, Reply)
Not me.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:05, Reply)
Thank fuck, I'd say the bouncer's standards would be slipping.
You good?
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:08, Reply)
I dunno man, I'm not here.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:10, Reply)
How are you spending your 30th?

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:11, Reply)
I dunno about Gonz, but I'm spending my 43rd at work.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:13, Reply)
When is that?

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:14, Reply)
December. 8 days before Christmas.
Shit time of year to have a birthday.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:15, Reply)
that's the same day as my boss's 56th

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:55, Reply)
Spooky!
It's also some bint from Bananarama's birthday.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:57, Reply)
I share mine with Prince Phillip and Liz Hurley.
The three of us having a birthday lunch could be a laugh.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:19, Reply)
Tomorow i'm going to get a sushi take away, probably, then on Monday i've got dinner with family, and next month i'm going down to Brighton for 4 nights to see one of my fave comedians and get a Recipease lesson.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:45, Reply)
So you're spending the actual day/ night of your 30th on your own?

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:49, Reply)
Kindda, I got a big meeting on friday morning.
But I have some family coming over in the day and will see some friends on the weekend.

For some reason I'm quite indifferent to it this year, more looking forward to Fireworks Night and Christmas.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:21, Reply)
I am really looking forward to Christmas this year in a way I haven't ever before.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:31, Reply)
evening, gonz

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:06, Reply)
Evenin' Cave, how's the costumes?

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:09, Reply)
I'm all sorted for this weekend

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:13, Reply)
Liquorice festival, yeah?

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:13, Reply)
yeah
I'm a big bertie bassett

sounds like rhyming slang
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:14, Reply)
Wicked, 00o0o0oh, you did that nerf gun? that was cool.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:46, Reply)
yeah
it was tricky putting it back together but it worked eventually
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:48, Reply)
I am doing that drunken barge in to see wht all you pricks are talking about

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:26, Reply)
I'm not talking about nuffink cos I ain't here.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:27, Reply)
Has anyone seen Davvo?
He's never here
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:28, Reply)
Who?

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:29, Reply)
Fucked if I know where I am tangers.
I'd ask myself, but I'm not around. Like an elusively elusive thing.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:29, Reply)
Ah, hang on, I'm out having a smoke.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:30, Reply)
I said to tell you you are all cunts.
Fucking cheek, eh?
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:31, Reply)
your a cunt

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:32, Reply)
What a cunt I'm glad he's not here

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:33, Reply)
im here an im a massive stupid cunt if it helps

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:37, Reply)
ooh, you're drunk
tell us something you wouldn't tell us sober, preferably incriminating
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:37, Reply)
I had a long term affair with a woman ten years older than me

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:38, Reply)
was she cheating or you?
and how old were you? 6?
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:40, Reply)
by the way, if it was you cheating
you have lost any respect you had
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:40, Reply)
no I was single. it was weird. I was about twenty. next!

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:41, Reply)
uh
now tell us something we can rib you about later
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:42, Reply)
uhhh dunno what sortof thang you gunning for dude?

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:44, Reply)
She's just trying to ascertain if you are single

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:45, Reply)
I wasn't
he lives too far away. I was looking for more material threads
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:47, Reply)
what some sort o woollen nonsense

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:47, Reply)
gah
not even drunk and I can't write sentences
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:49, Reply)
well that ruined that insight into dr frogs private life

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:52, Reply)
what you have some kind of
wool fetish
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:54, Reply)
Prolly a Welshie, innit?

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:54, Reply)
makes sense

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:58, Reply)
dunno cavy lad, you were the wogan character in this interview

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:55, Reply)
*rubs knees*

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:59, Reply)
I'm glad I'm not here either.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:51, Reply)
never even heard of him

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:29, Reply)
I'm in a shit pub with Ladypigs work mates.
Dull dull dull. Pricks.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:38, Reply)
I went in a shit pub too today lets be besht m8s

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:39, Reply)
Ok. Come save me.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:40, Reply)
I wish I could man. im back by the seaside so I fear the logistics become a problem

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:43, Reply)
You're a terrible friend

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:51, Reply)
but I'm buying you a beer ot two in London one day, thats a nice thing.
Man, youve changed. I thought I knew you.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:54, Reply)
I'm looking forward to our London outing.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:01, Reply)
*Something about Stonewall coming to the party*

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:05, Reply)
^THIS^

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:30, Reply)
i'm bored
but at least I'm at home. I should do something constructive
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:41, Reply)
I painted my hall way.
Tomorrow I hang a door. I don't know if I have enough stuff to do to fill the next week and a bit without spending a lot of it drunk.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:44, Reply)
i made some larp kit
other than that today I have achieved little. Tomorrow is writers workshop
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:45, Reply)
I think by Friday I'll be on breakfast cans of Stella.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:54, Reply)
did you phone that place?

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:56, Reply)
Yeah.
I got a call back from a guy who had clearly none of my details to hand and got a start date for the 12th, think I might leave it till Monday and phone to confirm. For a company that were initially so formal the whole call seemed a bit like someone had dropped the ball and forgot to ring me.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:00, Reply)
well good luck with it
is it going to be an awesome job?
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:04, Reply)
Well, no.
But it's a job that leads in to what I wanna be doing, and it's got all the bells and whistles like a van and stuff, so it's good.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:08, Reply)
then WHOOP!

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:09, Reply)
Maybe you'll get to go around solving mysteries in the van
You'll need a bigger dog though
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:56, Reply)
I suggest you name your door Derek Bentley before you carry out the hanging.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:53, Reply)
I like this.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:03, Reply)
I like you.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:04, Reply)
Let 'im 'ave it Dav!!!

(, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 0:41, Reply)
Get really drunk and let them know how you feel.
I can recommend downing a couple of sneaky shots each time you go to the bar as a way to speed up the process.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:43, Reply)
I'm Driving.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:44, Reply)
Bad planning there

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:47, Reply)
I didn't know about it until 5,
She came home and announced that it was Als 30th birthday and then bullied me in to driving.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:50, Reply)
Funnily enough
my ex came home one night and announced it was "All over".

Bitch.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:10, Reply)
At least she told you herself.
Mine bottled it & called one of my best friends and asked him to break the news, which was rather unfair on him.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:24, Reply)
It would have hurt less
if I hadn't spent the night on the wagon so I could pick her up after a night out and drive her home, tbh.

The bitch. No wonder I murdered her.

Still, that was a pretty sucky way for yours to do it ffs.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:27, Reply)
It was unfair on him - she knew his wife was due to give birth anyday, when they'd had problems with the birth of their first. He didn't need the distraction.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:30, Reply)
Shitty thing to do.
She should have asked me.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 21:00, Reply)
M'kay.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:46, Reply)
alright Gonz

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:28, Reply)
Aye up Tangles.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:47, Reply)
alright

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:31, Reply)
oh hai

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:37, Reply)
innit

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:43, Reply)
yer

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:44, Reply)
Alright Doze

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:47, Reply)
aight G Dog
Gaz me your Tapped Out ID.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:51, Reply)

holmes search

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 19:48, Reply)
Sup?

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:06, Reply)
I'm supping wine; does that count?

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:08, Reply)
What sort you suppin?

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:17, Reply)
A merlot. From Aldi.
Classy bastard, me.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:20, Reply)
Any good?

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:21, Reply)
It's drinkable if that's what you're getting at.
It's OK actually - I've had worse bottles for £15 in a restaurant, to be honest.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:25, Reply)
I'm on a 14% Pinotage from Lidl
Their own brand range is what you'd expect but this ones very smooth and £3.99
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:56, Reply)
£3.29. It's OK.
I've splashed out and bought a £3.99 bottle of kooliburra shiraz cabernet to have with dinner, though.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 21:01, Reply)
I was in Aldi recently and noticed their range had improved.
I read that the wine itself in a £5 bottle costs 60p
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 21:12, Reply)
Coup a sup

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:10, Reply)
Croutons in?

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:18, Reply)
Fuck no
lumps of brittle dried might-have-been bread, disgusting
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:21, Reply)
Yer, only reliable ones are what you make yourself

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:57, Reply)
Alright ledjend

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:29, Reply)
Oh hai Doc, dint see you there.
Been helping out the real ale cause?
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 21:22, Reply)
Afraid so! I'm going to sleep as I have done myself no good with boozing. Hope all is well, catch you tomorrow probably :)

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 21:27, Reply)
Nite babez

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 21:37, Reply)
hey hey hey gonzles!
hows my hunka hunka burning hunk?
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:17, Reply)
Spending his 30th on his own by the sound of it.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:19, Reply)
weeknight aint it?
probs saving something for the weekend
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:34, Reply)
Any attempts at suicide recently?

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:34, Reply)
once a week i jump in front of a bus but they always swerve out of the way

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:44, Reply)
Or he's a no mates inter web shut in.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:35, Reply)
^ TGGI ^

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:37, Reply)
I think I'm getting the hang of this b3ta lark Batts, I really do.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:39, Reply)
bit harsh

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:44, Reply)
Not really. I was making a suggestion not stating a fact, as I don't know much of the gentleman on question.

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:46, Reply)
ok gotcha well maybe he is if he is then that is terribly sad maybe we could organise a birthday party for him

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:47, Reply)
I'm busy sozzles

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:48, Reply)
poor our gonz

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:55, Reply)
Oh FFS okay I will come to the fucken party but only as long as it's not in 'Filthy's'

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:57, Reply)
dunno what that is soz we're going welsh club

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:58, Reply)
It's a north London shithole of a pub I accidentally spent two hours in tonight

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:59, Reply)
oh right soz

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 21:06, Reply)
Eeze Geeze
I'm easy man, just doin' some work.
(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:27, Reply)
tekkers bro

(, Wed 30 Oct 2013, 20:56, Reply)

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