Halloween Schmalloween
Did you celebrate Halloween / Bonfire night as kids? Tell me stories of setting yourself on fire/ scaring old ladies/firework woes
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:34, 137 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I never ever went 'trick or treating'. But then I'm not American, or a beggar so that's all well and good.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:36, Reply)

my dad would chase trick or treaters down the road
T&T was the worst thing you could do, not like now when our permissive society says it's fine
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:41, Reply)

( Peej, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:36, Reply)

We used to have fireworks in the back garden
but these days we go to the displays. The Ripley bonfire's the best in my old local area. The missus and I have a plan to go up to Alexandra Palace to see the fireworks over the city this year. Flask of brandy and a thick coat.
( Kroney, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:38, Reply)

Just the one because, presumably, you're going to let her freeze?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:40, Reply)

I look out for numero uno, badger.
She can be the boss of her own destiny.
( Kroney, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:43, Reply)

*finger guns*

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:43, Reply)

I might let her have a nip of the brandy, like. I'm not a monster.

( Kroney, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:45, Reply)

bonfire night was all about wearing as many layers of clothing
as possible until you couldn't move your arms and mum cooking about 20 baked potatoes (just in case there was a bad potato) for 6 hours and eating bonfire toffee until you were sick. The fireworks were good, too
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:43, Reply)

I still remember turnips instead of pumpkins
You could carry them round. I also recall my mate Harry managing to get a banger into a kid's turnip which promptly exploded, leaving him holding the string and the lid
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:45, Reply)

turnips were well hard to carve
but yeah, I remember people carrying them on strings in parades. Ah, it were better in the days before they invented pumpkins
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:46, Reply)

I don't think we ever had turnips down here.
Off the top of my head, I can't think of a more stereotypically povvo Northern image.
( Kroney, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:46, Reply)

no, you are just too young

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:47, Reply)

I'll ask me mum, but I'm pretty sure she'll slap me across the head and tell me off for encouraging the peasantry

( Kroney, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:48, Reply)

I stuck wine gums in the eyes of mine to make them red

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:50, Reply)

Not my peasants

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:50, Reply)

we all know you mean your cock

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:55, Reply)

You leave my purple headed warrior out of this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:56, Reply)

If a firework goes off too early I often go "Whoa!"
Or something.

My sister taught me to smoke when we were sitting in a den we'd built of hay bales.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:47, Reply)

I see no potential for firey death in doing that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:51, Reply)

Innit, doe?
There are certain moments like that in my childhood which strongly evoke the phrase "God looks after babes and drunkards" ...
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:52, Reply)

I was given a raw 'baked' potato in foil at a public display, and expected to eat it.
When no-one was looking I threw it in the direction of the bonfire and ended up hitting some little kid in the back of the head.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:48, Reply)

If it was a public bonfire I guarantee the little shit had it coming for something.

( Kroney, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:49, Reply)

Yeah it was probably him what started the fire in the arboretum

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:51, Reply)

when did you turn so posh?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:52, Reply)

I'm not posh.
Middle class 4 lyfe
( Kroney, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:53, Reply)

keep the aspidistra flying

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:54, Reply)

not so much halloween
but I bloody loved bonfire night as a kid. sparklers and plot toffee and parkin. awesome. the next morning my dad used to take us to the field where the firework display had been to look for the rocket sticks. our running around a field for an hour gave him a bit of peace and quiet I suppose.

there was one year where my friend sam tried to sneak a small bottle of gin and one of voddie onto the waltzer. they promptly flew out of her pockets and smashed, which pissed us right off, but not as much as it pissed off the waltzer owner.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:55, Reply)

There's a really good fireworks display on the seafront, just round the corner from where I live on Sunday
I could actually watch it from in my parent's flat
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:56, Reply)

from my old flat I could see ALL the fireworks
it had a panoramic view over 20 or 30 odd miles

this year I might have to join the masses by the sea not paying for the big display
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:58, Reply)

Millenium Eve I was in a fire station at a party
Much higher than everywhere with 360 degree views to all the fireworks

Rather impressive displays
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:59, Reply)

and in a handy place in case anything caught fire

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:00, Reply)

trufax

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:01, Reply)

I was clinging onto life whilst suffering with flu
Decided to drink vodka/red bull and fell over into a Christmas tree
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:04, Reply)

PARKIN!
want

also want vodka but that's a different matter
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:57, Reply)

100cm long cakes ftw

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 11:58, Reply)

my mum used to make amazing parkin
it's weird how it's so nasty the day it's cooked. needs at least a day to go all soft and sticky and mmmmm.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:01, Reply)

Dont be silly... women are rubbish at Parkin

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:06, Reply)

Mate of mine was wrongly sacked from working on the Waltzer.
He sued for funfair dismissal.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:15, Reply)

LTI

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:17, Reply)

oh jeff
I've missed you
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:32, Reply)

still time to reload and have another shot

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:07, Reply)

Bonfire night, yeah.
In North Yorkshire we had Mischief Night, the day befor. Basically petty vandalism, ranging from knock the door and run away, to more serious ztuff.My fave was a bag of dogzhit and a lit banger through the letterbox.Householder runs to stamp it out...you get the point. Pretty dangerous I don't condone it now.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:00, Reply)

you were a dick

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:01, Reply)

I got chased home from school once by a bully with fire works :(
I was also present when a kid wearing a shellsuit got too close to a fire. WHOOSH! Served him right, really. A plastic mac is not bonfire material.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:04, Reply)

I went to a 'Festival of Light' at home where they do these occasional 'artsy' thingys, as Folkestone desparately tries to reinvent itself as creative and that
The finale was fireworks and a massive wooden phoenix being burnt on a rather large bonfire. As some local councilor was droning on with a speech listing the various wankers that helped, the fireworks started going off, the bonfire ignited and she was cut short as there isn't much you can do to stop it. People laughed.
Once the bonfire got going, and someone had seriously miscalculated the 'safe distance' for the public, the wind changed and blew fiery embers into the crowd and in apocalyptic scenes people panicked and ran away trampling toddlers underfoot. I had a nice hole burnt in my coat. It was great.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:04, Reply)

\o/

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:04, Reply)

HA!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:07, Reply)

Good old folksy

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:10, Reply)

I've spent this whole month watching horror films.
When I worked in bars I loved Halloween, making the place look like a mental asylum or something.

Going out on the drink dressed up is fun. I walked to work one morning when I worked in a Sky call centre looking like a zombie and cars stopped because they thought I'd had an accident. It was about 7.30am like.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:06, Reply)

We once managed to get free entry into a nightclub wearing fancy dress
by having three strips of black tape on our arms and normal gear on. When challenged we stuck them on a a Musketeer tache/beard and said we were off duty. They let us in
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:13, Reply)

I would have charged you double.
I walked smack into a lamp post when I was off my tits on E minutes before getting into IKON (remember that club?). They still let me in with blood dripping down my face.

it wasn't Halloween

and I needed stitches :)
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:18, Reply)

Ha!
You've reminded me of a tale my mate told me.

New pair of jeans on, gets taxi to Quayside as its pissing down. Gets out of taxi in front of the whole nightclub queue and trips over the chain fence thingies they have down there, straight into a muddy puddle.

Whole queue cheers. He stands up, bows, turns round and...

trips over the same chain into another puddle, tearing his brand new jeans. He went home in the same taxi
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:20, Reply)

Haha! Oh what a niiiiiight

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:22, Reply)

This makes me do a lol every time I remember it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:22, Reply)

Something approaching £200 for a night out lasting 30 seconds without even one drink

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:23, Reply)

Ohhh. I thought he stayed out and had the same taxi home.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:28, Reply)

There are few things worse than being on bumbles in a chav infested, lager soaked hole like Ikon.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:25, Reply)

I know but I was very chavvy back in the day :(
I did have some fun nights in there but you had to know the right people so you didn't get kicked in.

it was just a glorified youth club really. There were designated areas for where you were from
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:29, Reply)

We used to trick or treat in the close,
Got some sweets, set fire to the effergy of a man, played with sparklers.
It was all very subdued.

Never got in to all the dressing up nonsense beyond the age of about 10. The cunts were out in force last night as it was Halloween fuzzy ducks. My god university students are utter scum.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:09, Reply)

Some place has done a Katie Hopkins effigy this year.
I approve.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:10, Reply)

ov entic
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:12, Reply)

YEAH I DELETED SUMMINK SO WHAT

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:13, Reply)

What's a Katie Hopkins when it's at home?

( Kroney, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:14, Reply)

Nice with fava beans and a fine chianti

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:14, Reply)

It's a highly opinionated slag.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:18, Reply)

There's a lot of them about
Something really ought to be done
( Kroney, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:20, Reply)

FUCK THEM QUIET!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:22, Reply)

and use their skulls as an ashtray

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:22, Reply)

gashtray

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:23, Reply)

this needs a click

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:28, Reply)

li o
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:31, Reply)

That Sarah Palin needs sorting out.
Somebody else can do it, though. Ugh.
( Kroney, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:27, Reply)

I used to make a turnip lantern and go guising.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:14, Reply)

Speaking of which - have you seen that Bare-Faced campaign for Childen in need?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:29, Reply)

They did it last year as well.
It's a nice idea for those women who are attractive enough to go without makeup. The rest of us shouldn't go anywhere near that campaign.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:35, Reply)

No - that's the fun of it.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:37, Reply)

uhm what?
I never wear makeup* and I'm not pretty (just shameless)...it just makes me look silly.

*except goblin or zombie make up
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:37, Reply)

If I don't wear makeup, I look really weird.
A cross between tired and shiny. Not a great look.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:41, Reply)

Yeah, me too.

( Kroney, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:41, Reply)

I did wonder why you were wearing a full face of slap when I met you.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:47, Reply)

It was to hide the crippling skin condition.

( Kroney, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:00, Reply)

This is an interesting demonstration
http://imgur.com/gallery/kbCWJGZ
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:44, Reply)

but the original one has different lighting and colour balance
it's not a proper comparison.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:48, Reply)

I think the comparison was more based on
what comments people made to her in person, rather than how she looked in the photos.

The point being, if you don't wear any makeup, you're constantly being asked if you're ill; and if you wear 'too much', you're a try-hard.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:51, Reply)

you only get asked if you usually wear it, though
it's the looking different which makes people think there's something up. I just get asked if I'm ill if I wear pastel colours, but I'm deathly pale anyway
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:58, Reply)

I also get funny looks if I don't wear my glasses.
I think you're right, it's just if you look different.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:00, Reply)

I get more comments when I wear goggles
it turns out
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:02, Reply)

Would, would, would, and finally, would.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:48, Reply)

why do women wear make up and perfume?
Because they're ugly and they stink.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:53, Reply)

Then why don't more men wear it?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:54, Reply)

because it's women that desperately try to conceal how unattractive they are

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:55, Reply)

I have nothing against women not wearing makeup while they cook and clean.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:57, Reply)

grrr

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:02, Reply)

Shut yo' ho mouth, get back out on the street and make Daddy mo money

( Kroney, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:03, Reply)

*sits back*
*enjoys show*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:03, Reply)

It's funny because they *really* think they're equal!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:04, Reply)

it's cute because you boys talk like you are real humans

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:05, Reply)

I do nothing of the sort. How dare you?

( Kroney, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:05, Reply)

And because no matter how much they protest, they really *are* ruled by their testicles
and any woman who knows how can make any man do what she wants.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:06, Reply)

Yeah, we let you think that.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:10, Reply)

Not this one!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:23, Reply)

My testicles really don't rule anything other than my desire
to find pants that stop them sticking to my legs. My penis, on the other hand, is really quite demanding.
( Kroney, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:24, Reply)

emandisgust
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:33, Reply)

Obviously I prefer it reapplied when my dinner is served.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:03, Reply)

i am buying arsenic
or maybe Ricin
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:04, Reply)

Make sure you don't overcook it, I like it steamed and fluffy. And get some wild to mix it up a bit this time. Long grain is a bit boring.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:06, Reply)

all this crowing about it being a womans world.
You don't see men painting their faces and wearing uncomfortable clothes/shoes to make them sexually attractive. Queeny gays are practically women too before we "go there".

It's a mans world. Deal.

All them empowering songs about feminism... Wrote by men.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:22, Reply)

*approving comment*

( Kroney, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:52, Reply)

no

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:35, Reply)

Check it out.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:37, Reply)

Yay!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-24726520

Or is this already old news?

To answer your question, I used to go trick or treating as a kid, but our idea of costumes was just general fancy dress. There were no 'spooky' costumes like there are today. And we never had 'Hallowe'en Parties' ffs.
Bonfire night was always ace, though. Toffee apples and sparklers FTW.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:30, Reply)

We used to have bobbing for apples and all of that sort of thing, although thinking back on it, I'm pretty sure my folks were just having a piss-up and keeping us occupied, the scamps.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 12:33, Reply)

Did you see the one where the chinese were putting microchips in irons?
They'd connect to any nearby WiFi when the iron was on and do shit, I don't remember what though. Probably replace all your porn with chinese equivalents or sutin.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:00, Reply)

They turn it sideways

( Peej, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:27, Reply)

"This is Hallowe'en, this is Hallowe'en ... "
God that's an annoying song, isn't it?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 31 Oct 2013, 13:18, Reply)