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(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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I found a secret beer I didn't know about! What have you found?

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:19, 160 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

YM to be somewhat accommodating....

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:22, Reply)

that men in red trousers are french or gay
or both
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:23, Reply)

Or clowns.
They could be clowns.
*looks around for Dozer*
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:27, Reply)

Or gay, French clowns, presumably?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:28, Reply)

I just ordered some Burgundy chino's today

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:29, Reply)

my case rests here...

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:32, Reply)

that's funny, I ordered a superfluous apostrophe.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:04, Reply)

I am one of these things

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:37, Reply)

BOTH

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:39, Reply)

What's secret about it?
We can start a special secret thread if you don't want those other cunts to know about it.
I've found vodka and scrumpy is not an official cocktail.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:23, Reply)

I have found that my headphones don't fit in my deaf ear.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:28, Reply)

Pardon?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:32, Reply)

The Missing Link.

(

b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:29, Reply)

*Anne Robinson wink*

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:30, Reply)

*Darth Foxtrots*

(

b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:32, Reply)

What beer is it?
I have mainly entered a load of online competitions today.

Productive.

t's been a while since I made any discoveries. Think the last one was bacon and maple popcorn
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:30, Reply)

bacon and maple popcorn? wherewherewherewhere

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:30, Reply)

Sainsburys.
It's just as delicious as it sounds.
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:31, Reply)

may have a special trip to sainsburys sometme soon

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:31, Reply)

They're in the festive snacks bit

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:37, Reply)

Spitfire
Which is pretty average, but I didn't know it was in the house
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:36, Reply)

Fine KENT ales aren't for wankers who live in flats. It's fosters or carling for the likes of you.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:40, Reply)

Alright you folkstone froggy fuck funnel?

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:41, Reply)

I'm half deaf, thanks for asking you floppy haired pseudo-posh spazzo.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:43, Reply)

I know you're deaf you spaz
does it get you better parking and shit?
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:57, Reply)

Not yet. Unfortunately I think it will get better before I can reap the rewards of my disability.
Do you get benefits for being a spastic, or discriminated against for also being bent?
(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:59, Reply)

how do you get better from being deaf?
i get fucking nothing mate, it's a joke when you consider how much i fucking pay in
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:06, Reply)

I'm not *actually* deaf you ninny, it's temporary from my fucked up infected ear.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:18, Reply)

jizzy ear

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:21, Reply)

Innit. Literally. IN IT.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:23, Reply)

WHOGASM
don't care if you don't care

also, inner peace
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:30, Reply)

Half of my timeline is whogasming today.
I squeed.
(

b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:37, Reply)

fair play
did not expect that.

after a bit of a low on the last series (I missed a bunch) I'm excited again
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:40, Reply)

Ohhhhh. As in Doctor.
Yeah I have a lot of geeks on mine too.
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:41, Reply)

go to bbc website
watch miniepisode
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:43, Reply)

I'm not a whovian
Possibly a bit of Star Trek.

I'm more a comic geek
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:46, Reply)

Oh, and Imagine Dragons

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:30, Reply)

*imagines*

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:31, Reply)

whelp, this is the apocalypse

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:32, Reply)

I'm imagining a dragon
It is smoking a pipe and is using a Nissan Micra a rollerskate.

What next?
(

The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:32, Reply)

be happy watching him ollie off
the empire state building
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:34, Reply)

Who's Ollie?

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:39, Reply)

This dragon I'm imagining is more European
He has no clothes other than a collar and tie (blue, with red spots).

His Nissan Micra skateboard is more a means of getting him where he needs to be than for stunts.

I think he is called Ricardo.
(

The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:39, Reply)

he sounds like a posing
hipster twat to me...using a skateboard to get around. Probably has red trousers in his wardrobe and doesn't really need those glasses
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:41, Reply)

plus he has no other clothes
because he is showing off his scaly penis
(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:41, Reply)

I am not imagining his scaly penis

(

The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:42, Reply)

too late

(

Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:42, Reply)

ollies is skateboards.
Not rollerskates.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:06, Reply)

Wait until he sings an indie track.

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:38, Reply)

Let me guess it's puff the magic dragon

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:36, Reply)

A degree of that may have been indulged in today

(

The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:40, Reply)

Didn't have you down as a skaghead, TD

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:42, Reply)

If the cap fits...
Not regular, but met up with a mate earlier with a good line of produce.

I'm ambivalent. I know where drink takes me and I can plot a course, but smokey takes me different ways.

Edit - this depends upon your interpretation of the term. Strictly loose leaf now.
(

The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:49, Reply)

you're not a regular heroin user?
Good for you
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:58, Reply)

No I'm not a heroin user at all
Puff The Magic Dragon was blow.
(

The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:04, Reply)

you're thinking of dozer

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:05, Reply)

I've only smoked smack once; we've all been 15.
Love speckly dingers though, but that's ket innit.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:08, Reply)

I suspect that what you smoked was probably epoxy resin
Used to fix cracks in bike helmets and sold to gullible teenagers for lots of money.
(

The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:19, Reply)

No, it was definitely smack.
I used to hang around with some very dodgy characters, some of whom are now dead.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:20, Reply)

I wish they had lived and you died, that would be better for everyone, especially you.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:22, Reply)

I dunno like.
It's not a nice way to live, there was a proper vicious heroin scene in and around Aberdeen in the late 90s.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:23, Reply)

Skag problem in scotchcuntland shocker!

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:25, Reply)

well yer
Aberdeen's yer classic city of two halves. Massive oil wealth on the one hand, horrible poverty on the other.

It's more crack these days, the Wolverhampton-Aberdeen route for crack is getting busted fairly regularly.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:26, Reply)

hahahahahahahahahaah yeah 'wealth'

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:28, Reply)

Do you not understand how wealthy Aberdeen is, and how much of the European oil industry is based there?
Average salary in the sector is £73,000, which is way more than you get paid.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:30, Reply)

how would you know?

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:31, Reply)

Do you earn over 73K?
Because if not, then 'hahaha yeah wealth'.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:31, Reply)

that's not what you asked

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:36, Reply)

What, how would I know how wealthy Aberdeen is and how much of the European oil industry is based there?
It's not exactly a secret, is it?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:38, Reply)

I would move to York if I were you.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:29, Reply)

York is laughable in terms of the 'rough bits'.
The only people who genuinely think that Bell Farm, Tang Hall and Clifton are rough are people who have never lived anywhere other than York.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:31, Reply)

i love a story with a happy ending

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:23, Reply)

Some of them were proper nasty, no sympathy here.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:24, Reply)

I was being light-hearted as usual
But I grew up in Barrow-in-Furness which has a fucking terrifying drug abuse death ratio, and also had - when I was younger - certain areas where boats would arrive at night.
(

The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:33, Reply)

let's be honest it's best for everyone when druggies die

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:37, Reply)

My bleeding liberal heart says no
My rational head says yes.
(

The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:46, Reply)

you like to compare flesh tunnels with dozer

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:08, Reply)

I don't have flesh tunnels, soz

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:09, Reply)

you should get some, it'll help your career

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:15, Reply)

It's worked wonders for Darth Foxtrot.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:16, Reply)

has he come down from the attic yet?

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:18, Reply)

still trapped in the closet

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:18, Reply)

He was never exactly closeted though, was he?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:21, Reply)

have you seen his recent pictures on fb?

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:22, Reply)

No.
Please repost.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:22, Reply)

do you not know his name? open profile

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:22, Reply)

only his first name.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:24, Reply)

yes, i hope he's ok :(

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:27, Reply)

that last selfie was 4th of september
he is most likely dead by now
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:29, Reply)

i saw your big gurning selfie too
you really need to fix those privacy settings......
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:31, Reply)

I don't think that's a selfie. It looks like someone else took it and he cropped it for his profile.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:32, Reply)

my profile ent a picture of me you :p

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:34, Reply)

I'm glad I haven't seen a pic of you, everyone I have seen or met so far have been a massive disappointment.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:36, Reply)

YOU SAID MY PICTURE WAS HAWT
YOU LYING FROGCUNT
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:36, Reply)

Just 'massive' in your case.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:37, Reply)

Yeah but then I met you at a secret baysh and that clearly wasn't your picture.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:38, Reply)

The pictures were three years old, right?
You met her in a pub in Kensington and were shocked at how fat she was.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:40, Reply)

no bash chat
and it totally was. it's my fb profile and everything.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:40, Reply)

Someone on my Facebook has a picture of a car but they don't look like a car just like you appear to have a new, slightly worse face.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:42, Reply)

You never said you'd been to Sea World

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:40, Reply)

I wanted to see whales in unnatural habitat

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:43, Reply)

you must have seen me, right?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:36, Reply)

You know I have. That pic of you with a silly hoodie on.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:38, Reply)

Nah, I meant ones from my portfolio.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:39, Reply)

???

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:41, Reply)

yeah on the catwalk yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:41, Reply)

I never did any catwalk, not tall enough :'(

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:42, Reply)

and you kept tripping over your feet

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:44, Reply)

it was well embarro :'(

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:45, Reply)

i have never taken a selfie in my entire life thankyouverymuch

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:33, Reply)

hmmmmm
you should buy mini ape one of those kids' digital cameras from fisherprice. the pics are well lol, life through the eyes of a toddler.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:35, Reply)

i leave expensive gifts to relatives

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:40, Reply)

these are not expensive, about £40-50 i think?
my nephew took loads of his sister crying. or "croying" as he says, being a poxy southerner.
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:41, Reply)

yeah, that's expensine
a puzzle/bag of bricks/cardboard box is just as much fun i can guarantee you
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:44, Reply)

Place near me you can let kids run riot painting. £5.
It's worth that to not have to clean my place if she did so here.
(

Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:45, Reply)

yeah, I'm all about getting the messy shit done on other peoples property

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:52, Reply)

this is not a euphamism

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:53, Reply)

you try this logic when she's 15
no darling, George at asda jeans are just as cool as seven for all mankind...
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:45, Reply)

yeah maybe...but she's 2 so...

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:51, Reply)

you wait
that is all
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:58, Reply)

his is clogged with the corpses of a thousand furry rodents

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:13, Reply)

Leave Grace out of this you fucking hamster h8r

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:19, Reply)

Yeah!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:21, Reply)

Is the hamster dead?
Hopefully not of rectal contractions.
(

The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:21, Reply)

No, she's fine.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:22, Reply)

Good.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:24, Reply)

heroin's a killer td, don't you forget it

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:22, Reply)

Most stuff kills you in the end
I'll remember your kind words though, when I'm down to my last fiver and selling my raggedy arse to sailors for a fix.
(

The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:25, Reply)

Jesus

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:39, Reply)

Praise be!

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:42, Reply)

You rang?

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:42, Reply)

Wept

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:44, Reply)

+ i'm still at work and it sucks

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:45, Reply)

15 mins for me too.
9-5 tomorrow though. Just as God and Dolly intended
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 19:46, Reply)

had days like this

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:02, Reply)

Bob Hairfoam

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:06, Reply)

Deck the halls with boughs of holly,
dedededede...dededede. Lets get OT R.O.C.K.I.N.N.G!
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:27, Reply)

You daft C.U.N.N.T!

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:28, Reply)

I dunno how you chaps spend so much time with my mum, she is fucking boring.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:27, Reply)

well yer but her anal is gold standard

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:28, Reply)

She is one of the few women in folkestone I haven't bummed.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:30, Reply)

Lies.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:32, Reply)

She likened this denial of service to a whore not kissing her clients, which if think is fair.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:34, Reply)

Yer true

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:35, Reply)

~~gold~~

rusty

(

Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:46, Reply)

i heard you take after her

(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:29, Reply)

Yeah but you also know it's lies.

(

MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:31, Reply)

NAKERS YOU PRICK!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:48, Reply)

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:49, Reply)

are there any messages in red near the top of your screen?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:50, Reply)

yeah i ent been up there in a while

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:52, Reply)

have a wee look, yeah?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:52, Reply)

i have
no, soz
(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:53, Reply)

:'(

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:54, Reply)

All too far to the right for my liking
As Jeff would say - start a new thread.
(

The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:51, Reply)

do one about your experience of "horse"

(

Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:53, Reply)

From what I've heard, it wasn't very nice.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:55, Reply)

My experience of horse is riding about in a muddy field one afternoon at the insistence of ex-wife
And not having fun.
(

The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 20:56, Reply)

Done.
Get in.
(

The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 21:03, Reply)

I saw this on /talk and figured out how to do it


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(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 14 Nov 2013, 22:57, Reply)

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