I always wipe my cock on the curtains after doing harter's mum up the shitter
Alt: Internet weirdos

Altalt: coffee
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:16, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

i've got water
let's not have a drink together, neighbour
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:17, Reply)

I can see your warming glow over the rooftops
It's like light pollution
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:19, Reply)

it's being dyed purple soon

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:22, Reply)

Blue rinse^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:27, Reply)

Why is it you corporate lot act like children when you're told you can't have something?

( Kroney, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:18, Reply)

What can't I have? Cos if it's a CHOC dip im gonna go spastic

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:20, Reply)

In this case, they want Skype and a webcam to interview some people in Spain
apparently giving "no, don't be so bloody stupid" as an answer often offends.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:21, Reply)

Why can't you provide an alternative video conferencing software?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:24, Reply)

Webcams aren't allowed within this company, therefore neither's video conferencing. Not my decision.

( Kroney, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:28, Reply)

So really your answer should be "I'm afraid there is nothing I can do, but I suggest you raise it with you superior and get them to raise it higher up in the company"

(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:28, Reply)

No point. The IT director has said "no".
He is not a man known for changing his mind. They can do so if they wish, but I'm not going to pretend they have any chance of changing the status quo.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:31, Reply)

Passing the buck^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:29, Reply)

Why don't you find a solution for them instead of being obstructive?
Seriously we're gonna have to have a serious chat at your annual review
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:24, Reply)

I've told them the alternatives. They don't want the alternatives, so they're having a tantrum.

( Kroney, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:28, Reply)

Management, by any chance?
They're not used to people saying 'no' to them.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:31, Reply)

Yep. Luckily I'm not the sort of person that has a problem telling management what they don't want to hear.

( Kroney, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:32, Reply)

Don't be so fucking moody.
Are you blobbing or something?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:24, Reply)

Typical IT bod
You ask them a question about whether or not you can do something, and rather than actually thinking about what the problem is and whether or not a solution to that problem can be provided they only look at the exact question asked and say "no it can't be done".
(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:26, Reply)

Autistic innit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:27, Reply)

I know more than the IT monkey they employ to come in and scratch his head for half an hour
before consulting his mate on his mobile.

Useless.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:30, Reply)

It's a shame there are so many of these pricks about
but it's usually because companies are usually run by accountants and sales people who look at IT and just see costs. They certainly don't want to "waste" money employing people that actually know what they're doing, because it costs.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:33, Reply)

Choc dips are the greatest, not Mohammed Ali.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:22, Reply)

because we bring in the money that pays everyone else's wages
now get me a sandwich and a diet coke. naked.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:21, Reply)

That keeps you in your job, not me in mine.

( Kroney, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:23, Reply)

Without money coming in there would be no need for IT and IT support
You are just a box we stand on to reach for the stars
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:25, Reply)

HR, BD, Marketing, IT don't make money... they tell everyone else how to spend it

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:29, Reply)

They don't 'make' money because they're not customer facing,
but they facilitate the bringing in of money by other departments.

Oil doesn't make my car run, but I know it wouldn't get very bloody far if I didn't have any in my engine at all.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:33, Reply)

they're nothing but a drain on valuable income and resources
a great big smelly DRAIN
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:34, Reply)

well, a lot of them smell, anyway

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:34, Reply)

So, just as a matter of interest,
how do you personally attract new clients to your firm? Standing outside with a sandwich board?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:35, Reply)

Considering how utterly, helplessly useless with computers she is
it's absolutely no stretch at all to say that she wouldn't have a job bringing in money if there wasn't an IT guy holding her hand and showing her how to make her emails look pretty.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:38, Reply)

er, no
I make money because I advise on the law and commercial solutions.

frequently I am prevented from turning this around in a timely fashion because the computer has broken. or the server has gone down. blah blah.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:44, Reply)

Idiot, without those assets you'd be advising via fucking carrier pigeon.

( Kroney, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:48, Reply)

yer yer yer

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:51, Reply)

me personally?
existing contacts
referrals from existing clients/managing agents/surveyors etc
articles that I've written or cases I've acted on that have been in the press
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:43, Reply)

You can say to a mechanic "if it wasn't for the fact that I don't have the first idea how to top up my coolant, you wouldn't have a job"
but it wouldn't be any more true than saying to an IT bod "you wouldn't have a job if I could work out how to turn my monitor on".

Our jobs aren't dependant on spastics.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:35, Reply)

Yeah, your job isn't *just* looking after spastics,
but it's got to be a part of the spec, no?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:42, Reply)

I don't work for the training department, so no.
Doesn't stop them ringing.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:43, Reply)

Start working to rule.
Pass all their stupid enquiries to the head of that section.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:44, Reply)

I frequently tell people to go to the training department or try Google.
It's go me something of a, er, reputation.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:49, Reply)

Our department makes money via consultancy/services/hardware/software
We brought in almost £1 million quid last year
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:34, Reply)

ssssh
your facts have no place here amongst our grudges and prejudices
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:35, Reply)

sorry

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:37, Reply)

Without us, you'd be incapable of doing your job
as it's been my experience that you people have lost the common sense you were born with at roughly the same rate as you have taken in cocaine.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:30, Reply)

Not me mate
I'm just too important and busy to learn boring IT
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:33, Reply)

Me too!
Also, I am not a cunt.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:38, Reply)

not
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:40, Reply)

Afternoon.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:41, Reply)

Hi hun.
Alright?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:42, Reply)

Alright, you!
Where've you been, you lumbering great oaf?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:43, Reply)

Hiding.
Just really busy at work during year end.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:09, Reply)

How's your twin doing?
You seen him lately?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Nov 2013, 13:11, Reply)

Surely what keeps you in your job
is spastics who don't know how to work a computer.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:26, Reply)

\o
Don't know or care
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:28, Reply)

My job would be made considerably easier without the spastics.
I'd actually be free to concentrate on improving things.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Nov 2013, 12:42, Reply)