Fuck Off Dozer
Over Opinionated
York Dwelling
Music snob
with a superiority complex

alt. alright?

altalt. Favorite Chrimblemassypooples songs.
Mine's " A Spaceman Came Travelling"

altaltalt. Greedy CUNTS!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:03, 181 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

AltAlt: I really like the glamrock ones
Slade, Wizzard, Glitter...

I've just cleaned the living room and made a space for the tree and my table decorations, and put some xmas music on my ipad, so I'm starting to feel a little bit more inclined to be christmassy.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:06, Reply)

Got the tree already
now I just need to pick up a stand on Saturday
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:16, Reply)

That one that isn't actually about Christmas and is quite depressing.
Stop The Cavalry I think it's called.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:11, Reply)

I don't like that one.
Fuck people that hijack Christmas to make some shitty political statement. That includes that Geldof prick.
( Kroney, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:13, Reply)

Is that that rumpapumpum shit?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:15, Reply)

Nah that was shit one with Bowie in it with some old fart whose name I can't remember.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:20, Reply)

Monty?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:20, Reply)

Christ. Imagine what that would be like...

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:22, Reply)

You scumbag, you maggot
THIS IS FUCKING SHIT
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:22, Reply)

Pub lol.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:23, Reply)

Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth
Bowie and Bing
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:26, Reply)

The bong-eyed search engine of choice

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:30, Reply)

Hey Mr Churchill dobedobedo dobedobedo doo be doo ...
That one.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:20, Reply)

OH YES

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:21, Reply)

*christmas fives*

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:28, Reply)

Can't say I know that one.
Must have avoided it, with it's military connotations.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:21, Reply)

It's quite a good tune
But I think he 'borrowed' it from a classical melody
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:29, Reply)

Int that the point, tho?
Int it an old military tune? I think it's like, omg political satire or summat.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:31, Reply)

Yeah you do.
It goes dobedobedo, dobedobedo, dobedobedo doo be doo, dobedobedo, dobedobedo, can we stop the caavalry ...
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:29, Reply)

I hate all Christmas songs
Anyone who releases one should be anally violated with a Christmas tree
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:12, Reply)

There's an uber gay one by bananarama that I fucking love.
It's camper than Julian Clary fucking Dale Winton.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:15, Reply)

I need a Christmas name

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:17, Reply)

I can't think of any Bovine/Sporty Christmas puns

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:23, Reply)

sportschowayinamangerman

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:25, Reply)

Don;t be treading on my turf, bitch!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:29, Reply)

haway for me
howay for you
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:29, Reply)

How about 'pervert in a red suit who makes small children sit in his knee at the shitty BHS grotto'?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:29, Reply)

Dad?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:32, Reply)

Sporta Claus?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:25, Reply)

I think rubyportscow is winning

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:26, Reply)

I've been trying, but I don't think I can beat it.

( Kroney, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:27, Reply)

done

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:29, Reply)

I don't get it :(

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:29, Reply)

It may be my imagination, but I could swear that shops held off for longer this year
before getting Now! That's What I Call Christmas out again. I mostly managed to make it to December before hearing them whereas last year it was directly after Halloween.
( Kroney, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:16, Reply)

I thought this too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:19, Reply)

Thirdeded
But then on Dec 1st - BAM. Christmas all over the shop.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:26, Reply)

Slade- I wish It could be Christmas every day
I forced my self to like it so I would be able to enter shops in December
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:13, Reply)

From October for some of them. I don't know how more staff don;t kill themselves
Fucking consumerism is the death of what is meant to be a joyous time.
All that running round at the last minute, fighting over goods, maxing your credit cards and for what? An ungrateful little shit telling you they hate the present?

fuck it all.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:17, Reply)

I'm getting Mrs Cow an iPhone cover this year
She got me some free football tickets for my birthday. We'd both rather spend money finishing off the house/paying debts off
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:18, Reply)

This.
Me and the other half are just filling a present bag with little bits and pieces.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:30, Reply)

ima buy a load of those Twix Mix for her too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:32, Reply)

As well as the usual presents
I'm doing the missus a sort of adult stocking. I'm filling the one she had as a kid with all cheeses and nice truffles and booze and stuff. Feel free to borrow the idea.
( Kroney, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:34, Reply)

Adult as in Coco de Mere adult?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:37, Reply)

Ask Stunned for all his spare stockings

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:38, Reply)

Is he buying her a car?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:41, Reply)

Yeah, since we have no kids in the house,
we buy our presents for each other in the January sales.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:39, Reply)

Do you not even exchange a small gift each on the 25th?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:41, Reply)

Usually.
But the majority of presents are bought afterwards. And with our birthdays within twelve days either side of xmas, the whole month is a wave of present giving.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:43, Reply)

Alt: The one from the KFC advert.
I actually laughed out loud at an advert for the first time in ages while watching that.
( Muns, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:15, Reply)

Altalt: Of the Jesusy stuff, I rather like Lully Lullay
From the folk repertoire I like things like Here We Come A-Wassailing.
I'm struggling to think of a credible Christmas pop song.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:17, Reply)

I'll allow the Pogues one as it doesn't have any jingly bells on it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:19, Reply)

I don't mind the Phil Spector Christmas album

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:20, Reply)

The "Wallofcards"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:21, Reply)

I like Fairytale of New York.
The Lily Allen one on the John Lewis advert is quite good as well.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:19, Reply)

I'm not Keane on that one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:21, Reply)

Oh HO!
NotChristmassy really is it, just cos they plonk it on a John lewis ad.

Saying that I did get the Slow Moving Millie 'Smiths' cover.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:31, Reply)

I fucking HATE that John Lewis advert.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:35, Reply)

I was listening to Radio One yesterday for the first time in forever and that Kelly Clarkson has a Chrimble record out.
The thing that struck me is how skilled these producers are at perfectly pitching a record. Sure, the song itself is the usual drizzle about only needing her boyfriend at Christmas, however:

A) behind it all there's a bass line that struck me as incredibly familiar. It took me a while but it's almost directly lifted from Happy Days. You could easily sing the HD lyrics over it.
B) Sleighbells, obv
C) Very few minor notes all sung at a higher than usual octave
D) Schmaltzy lyrics

Of course most pop songs are formulaic these days, but when you really listen it's impressive how slick it all is. It's practically an artform.
( Kroney, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:25, Reply)

Monday, Tuesday Present Time
Wednesday, Thursday Christmas Time
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:27, Reply)

The turkey comes, my stomach turns
ready to race to a really fucking bland, boring sandwich in a couple of days tiiiiiime
These days are arrrrrrrrrssssee
( Kroney, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:29, Reply)

oh crappy days.....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:31, Reply)

Brussels and brie
(Oh shit kiddy plays)
These days are arrrrrrrsssee
( Kroney, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:31, Reply)

I could go on and on.

( Kroney, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:31, Reply)

But I can't wait, for half past eight, when the father-in-law falls asleeeeeeeeeep

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:30, Reply)

Good pop music is.
It's just annoying when it's lazily done.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:28, Reply)

alt alt- Another Rock n' Roll Christmas, Just Like Christmas by Low and We're All Going to Die by Malcolm Middleton

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:26, Reply)

I do like that Rock and Roll Christmas one :)

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:32, Reply)

typical bender, condoning paedophilia

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:33, Reply)

You brought it up, nonce.
Looking for a sidekick?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:40, Reply)

hey, we've all done underage sex

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:42, Reply)

Speak for yourself, 'bartleby'.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:44, Reply)

I meant while underage ourselves
The girl I lost my v plates with was 14.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:45, Reply)

Now then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:46, Reply)

*Waggles cigar*

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:47, Reply)

Oh thanks!

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:47, Reply)

You brought it on yourself.
By fucking kids.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:49, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2163204
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:45, Reply)

That's the one I was talking about up there ^
Even in the days of full 'glitter embargo' I still played it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:34, Reply)

I don't hold with cultural Stalinism

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:35, Reply)

But how will you know who to hate?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:37, Reply)

I'll get my hysterically misinformed views from the tabloid press, just like GeordieJay does.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:39, Reply)

I get mine from social media.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:42, Reply)

I don't endorse tabloid press.
I do, however like to jump on social media bandwagons.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:49, Reply)

He's not choosy

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:40, Reply)

I did.
And then Roy Harper turned out to be a kiddie fiddling nonce. I'm fucked if I'm never listening to 'When an old cricketer leaves the crease' again in my life.

On a side note, I have some morals available for sale to the highest bidder.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:57, Reply)

Blimey!
Its scarpe!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:58, Reply)

I fucking love that song.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:00, Reply)

Alfalfa: all christmas music is shit and for shit cunts

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:46, Reply)

sproutlol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:46, Reply)

I thought you meant Alpaca's there. That photo doing the rounds of shaved alpaca's is both creepy and hilarious.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:48, Reply)

what is it that the alpaca owns which is shaved?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:50, Reply)

hair

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:54, Reply)

\o/
(o)(o)
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:59, Reply)

Is an alpaca gay slang like "bear"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:02, Reply)

You're very keen to learn the lingo, aren't you?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:05, Reply)

I wanna be able to talk with your dad on his level

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:07, Reply)

Not that I've heard.
They do seem to be fond of mammals
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:14, Reply)

There's no lights on the christmas tree, Mama - The Sensational Alex Harvey Band.
Must dash, bye...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:55, Reply)

Oh, Ok. Bye.



...( who was that?)
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 13:59, Reply)

Not good enough, scarpe
Post more.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:00, Reply)

Alright Scarpe you drunk racist old bastard?
How's tricks?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:01, Reply)

I thought Noël was the racist?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:03, Reply)

Nice umlaut

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:04, Reply)

iPad keyboard did that automatically.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:07, Reply)

It's worth the £200 premium over other devices for that alone

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:08, Reply)

I will never buy another Apple product. Overpriced crap.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:16, Reply)

They are for pricks and cox


Sent from my iphone
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:17, Reply)

Annoying when it does shit like autocorrect ipad to iPad

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:11, Reply)

Yep.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:15, Reply)

To be honest I do t really like to let the facts get in the way of my posts

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:05, Reply)

Alright.
Wizzard's about the only one that doesn't do my ed in.

One of you expert coders tell me how to do a christmas name without risking having the old one half inched?
Ta.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:09, Reply)

Spare account innit

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:11, Reply)

Or be too insignificant for anyone to bother.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:11, Reply)

So just open a new one ?
It'll have an L plate will it?
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:14, Reply)

Christ how long have you been here edj?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:18, Reply)

Fierce defender of the good name edjogs

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:13, Reply)

You have to let rob finger your bumhole, then He'll save it for you

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:14, Reply)

That's twice he's fingered my bumhole.
Is that one account or two?
Edit: Stop ninjaing!
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:16, Reply)

I ninjad your mum last night, right in the bumhole

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:21, Reply)

you could take the whimsical and much-loved approach to nomenclature and regularly change your username to variations on a theme

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:17, Reply)

Nah, only pricks do that.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:18, Reply)

pricks and bent comedy-trousered spastics

( Kroney, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:24, Reply)

I'm wearing jeans today :(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:25, Reply)

Dress-down Friday prick

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:27, Reply)

fucking canary yellow ones, probably.

( Kroney, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:29, Reply)

Is he that posh bloke off gogglebox?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:34, Reply)

Fuck you ham hands
Those people aren't posh, they are ghastly Nuevo riche prick lords
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:35, Reply)

Chin chin!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:53, Reply)

Blatant benders too.
That "artwork" of tits in the background fools nobody.

See also: frightfully dull.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:58, Reply)

Ohhhh... You mean the pisshead couple who were on 4 in a Bed?
LOVE them.

Rich, but not complete cunts with it.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:09, Reply)

They are indigo akshulky, or dark blue whatever

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:34, Reply)

No doubt from Crew clothing or Austin Reed.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:35, Reply)

Diesel innit, they make them in children's sizes now you can get some as well

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:38, Reply)

I just googled coco del mer at work.
Caused raised eyebrows, especially since the guys here all know who I'm seeing.
( Kroney, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:38, Reply)

Are you getting OG a dildo for Christmas?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:41, Reply)

I wasn't.
If that's what women expect though, I rather feel I ought to to make up for my own deficiencies.
( Kroney, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:45, Reply)

Oops!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:46, Reply)

I hope she likes her new 12 inch vibrating black plastic cock.
Happy Christmas!
( Kroney, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:18, Reply)

Do any of you cunts have a decent recipe for mulled wine you'll share?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:18, Reply)

No.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:18, Reply)

Any recipe of yours probably involves Peruvian yak milk and free range quinoa.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:23, Reply)

1x bottle of a heavy red
4x cloves
1x pinch of nutmeg
1x stick of cinnamon
2x mooncup contents
1x go fuck yourself
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:24, Reply)

Needs more mooncup.
Doesn't it also have brandy in it?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:24, Reply)

It does add an iron-y top note

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:25, Reply)

That's mulled cider, you plonky

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:37, Reply)

Which is infinately superior to mulled wine

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:42, Reply)

Really?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:45, Reply)

I prefer mulled wine myself.
Don't use too sweet/smooth a wine either, as the mulling will make it sacchrine.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:47, Reply)

I am now drinking mulled wine. For free. As I asked the landlord of my local for a recipe. WIN.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:50, Reply)

Free?
Where did you shoplift the wine and spices from?
( Muns, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:56, Reply)

I am being served the stuff at the pub.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:00, Reply)

IMAGINE. Apub serving booze.
/I spent all of Wednesday afternoon sat in the Old Red Lion on High Holburn. I nearly messaged some of you reprobates but I had two attractive ladies with me and I didn't want them "soiled"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:02, Reply)

Imagine. Free booze. At the pub.
That's the win.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:03, Reply)

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't drink mulled wine even if it was free.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:04, Reply)

I was in high holburn on Wednesday we could've hooked up and talked science and shit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:20, Reply)

Lovely.
Ask for a recipe, get given the goods, premade.

I'm going to the builders merchants when I'm out of this office to ask how to do a loft conversion, you never know...
( Muns, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:04, Reply)

Try popping to a local car dealership and asking how a Bentley is built.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:05, Reply)

"when a mummy Bentley and a daddy Bentley love each other very much..."

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:06, Reply)

Haha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:07, Reply)

Sampling whore!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:57, Reply)

Large wine glass samples. Currently on number 3.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:01, Reply)

Make sure you take them thimbles back to the bar when you're done!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:08, Reply)

250ml thimbles?
You fat handed Poofter.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:17, Reply)

1x branch of Marks and Sparks

( Kroney, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:24, Reply)

Buy the spice teabags from your local supermarket and add citrus fruit and sugar when mulling.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:36, Reply)

One pint of wine.
One pint of vodka.
48 Paracetamol.
3 grams of iron filings.
1/4 pint of bleach.
( Muns, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:58, Reply)

needs more iron filings.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:59, Reply)

No, because mulling wine is for cunts and pederasts.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:58, Reply)

So you drink a lot of it then.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:04, Reply)

*finger guns*

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:05, Reply)

Fuck off.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:47, Reply)

Well, haven't you found your voice lately?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:48, Reply)

I just told you...

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:52, Reply)

*slaps*
Don't you get out of line, little bear!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 14:57, Reply)

I just had a lunch where Air Commodore Charles Clarke was the speaker.
HE WAS PART OF THE GREAT ESCAPE, LIKE IN THE FILM.

He stood and spoke for 45 minutes. He is 90.

Men like him are the reason we won the war.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:29, Reply)

The real war?
Not the telly one? Nice one.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:32, Reply)

The actual war. Shot down on a bombing raid of Berlin.
He was 20 when he was sent to Stalag Luft III.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:36, Reply)

he looks like shrek, fuckin labour prick

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:36, Reply)

He walked 700km in the snow from Sagan to Bremen in -30 degrees.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:40, Reply)

sounds fun
But it's no Bravo Two Zero by Andy McNab, which gets better with every read
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:41, Reply)

You have no soul.
You are the worst one on here.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Dec 2013, 15:46, Reply)