You!!
Yes, you!
Are you popular and well mannered IRL or are you the empty, socially inept shell you portray on here?
Is your judgeMENTAL B3ta persona a cover up for your lack of acceptance, or are you generally a cunt?
Obviously, I'm immediately likeable, well mannered and tolerated by the masses, both online and off.

Alt. Best news stories of 2013

Altalt. Create a new B3ta cocktail for the festive season. name it after a member.

Or, you know, just argue among yourselves.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 13:59, 186 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

One for Rory
Gin, Bitter lemon, Lime, Cranberry.
Rim the glass with sour sanding.
Add more bitterness and a dash of misplaced self worth.

I'm calling it a Bitter Cunt
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:03, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2171533
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:18, Reply)

It's all about the rimming with you, chutters
honestly, mind like a Welsh railway.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:22, Reply)

I am exactly the same

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:07, Reply)

5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2170972
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:08, Reply)

Missed that one!
Ah well, fuck it. Not like we've never repeated ourselves, eh?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:10, Reply)

Not a comment on the repetition, Jase - just answering your question

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:12, Reply)

5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2170974
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:10, Reply)

Oh man, sparks are gonna fly when we finally meet up for sex!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:13, Reply)

True, but remember, I'm not ever going to Coventry.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:15, Reply)

Get the keys to rach's half flat and we'll meet there when she's working late

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:16, Reply)

Sweet, she's away over xmas so sometime then. I will bring your record to create a nice ambiance.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:20, Reply)

For some reason I read that as "ambulance"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:21, Reply)

That's later once I've finished with him.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:22, Reply)

I ent listening to that shite

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:30, Reply)

I'm alright. I find it quite difficult to disguise my character online, so whatever you think of me here, you'd probably think of me in real life.
I'm perhaps more intellectually combative online, because I'm quite hard of thinking, and online gives me time to compose a response.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:11, Reply)

I'm a hoot in real life.
Not so much on here.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:14, Reply)

t r
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:17, Reply)

People that think they are 'fun' are usually tedious tiresome wankers.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:17, Reply)

I'm the exception.
I don't do anything LOLWAKKI or owt. I'm just humourous. Probably unintentionally.

:(
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:20, Reply)

We will find out at the 2014 baysh.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:21, Reply)

I'd best brush up on my anecdotes!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:29, Reply)

This one time
At man camp.....
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:40, Reply)

Mein Campf

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:45, Reply)

Youn are, yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:46, Reply)

AltAlt:
For Stunned:

Take one industrial sized dustbin. Rinse out.
Add:

6 bottles of port
10 litres of brandy
200 pints of lager
25 bottles of Malbec
10 grams of cocaine

Stir.

Throw Stunned in to the bin.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:13, Reply)

nowhere near enough coke to counteract that much booze.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:25, Reply)

UPSET^^^^

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:15, Reply)

I am exactly the same offline as I am here

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:16, Reply)

Christ.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:17, Reply)

officelol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:18, Reply)

Your poor wife

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:17, Reply)

I already said that. About me though.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:19, Reply)

Liking your sig.
Where'd you get it?
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:27, Reply)

Terrible bullying you awful bullies I HATE YOU ALL

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:19, Reply)

I STUCK UP FOR YOU
well, I didn't slag you off, and that's the same
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:21, Reply)

I dont think I'm any different on here than in real life
I'm just me

Alt:
Nigella Cokehead

AltAlt:
1 x vodka
1 x gin
1 x sour cranberry

I call it the GeeJay
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:16, Reply)

\o/
Double them measures up though.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:21, Reply)

Sorry
1 x bottle
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:32, Reply)

Would Swipe's one be a Quick Awkward Screw In The Spare Room?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:18, Reply)

needs MOAR pizza

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:22, Reply)

^ This is my New Years resolution ^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:36, Reply)

the autism thing is just an act oh no wait no it isn't

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:22, Reply)

Nice thread top GJ.
Socially fairly ept I think but generally a cunt.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:25, Reply)

I'm just as much of an acid cunt in real life as I am on here.
Or not.

You decide.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:26, Reply)

^cunt^

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:27, Reply)

\o/

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:27, Reply)

you were pissed by the time i got there
very smiley though
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:27, Reply)

I act the same pissed or sober.
More or less.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:30, Reply)

I just get louder

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:32, Reply)

Pardon?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:33, Reply)

I SAID....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:34, Reply)

Bummers are deaf.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:34, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2171582
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:36, Reply)

You aren't an acid cunt.
Not as much as others anyway!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:32, Reply)

He is, however, every bit as bald as he is on here.

( Kroney, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:40, Reply)

Preaching to the choir

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:44, Reply)

i am very well loved and liked in real life, got loads of friends whom i never mention, ta
irl I never argue with anyone, unless it's my brother or I'm being paid to do it by the client.

alt: people thinking cher was dead after Maggie T carked it.

altalt: pint of top row - the battered

pint of drip trays - the dozer

can of tenannts super on a norf London pavement - the rory

cow, your dog was looking spectacularly bent in that pic last night.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:27, Reply)

He was indeed, yez

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:33, Reply)

Well they do say dogs look like their owners...

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:40, Reply)

Back in the day my hair resembled his ears

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:40, Reply)

he is very cute
but he is very very gay
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:46, Reply)

He fights like a bitch

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:47, Reply)

I'm judgemental everywhere. It's not my fault, people have shockingly poor manners.
Especially children and the elderly. And everybody in between.

Despite this, not as many people loathe me as you might think.
( Kroney, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:39, Reply)

The NSA don't like you much

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:40, Reply)

They have cause.

( Kroney, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:41, Reply)

People DO have poor manners, it pisses me off.
In London people are genuinely shocked when you hold a door open for them. It's sad.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:43, Reply)

Manners cost nothing
I am delightfully good mannered and will always open doors, let ladies through first, etc.

Please and Thank You are not optional
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:45, Reply)

please eee by gum
thankyou pet, man, pet.
( Kroney, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:48, Reply)

Like I said

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:48, Reply)

Also
Eee by gum is Yorkshire, you fucking buffoon

Thank you
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:49, Reply)

It's all North.
Nobody cares about tribal boundaries.
( Kroney, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:52, Reply)

It works both ways, Cockerney boy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:57, Reply)

I don't understand what either of you are saying.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:02, Reply)

Well, obviously the barbaric North doesn't understand the subtle differences between cultures
within the gleaming civilisation to your south. It's the shitty education you get up there.
( Kroney, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:03, Reply)

Gleaming and London are not two words that should been seen together

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:04, Reply)

I meant it figuratively.
Obviously not literally. That'd be ludicrous.

I also meant the south as a whole, not London. I'm from Surrey, you know.
( Kroney, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:06, Reply)

No, I don't
Is that near Barnet?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:14, Reply)

Poor, ignorant savage :(

( Kroney, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:17, Reply)

Actually, I really like Godalming

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:19, Reply)

and many other types of swearing

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:36, Reply)

News story wise, I still think that Woolwich killing was the most shocking.
Their defense that they are killing 'In the name of Allah' Moreso.

Religion has been used as an excuse for murder throughout history, worst scapegoat ever.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:42, Reply)

Those two weren't even terrorists, just a pair of nutters.

( Kroney, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:42, Reply)

True dat.
I get his point about our Government, but I don't go round hacking people's heads off. I just troll his Twitter account and don't vote for him.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:44, Reply)

There's very little difference between what they did and the indiscriminate killing of civilians in drone strikes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:38, Reply)

I like the bit when the drones come back to behead people and rant at the assembled crowds

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:40, Reply)

the method of death is inconsequential

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:44, Reply)

So, not really the same at all then?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:48, Reply)

yeah.
tell that to man sitting on a sharpened spike.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:56, Reply)

i shouldn't be laughing at this
i really shouldn't
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:45, Reply)

These are not the drones you're looking for.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:56, Reply)

both are fucking wrong
but there has to be a difference between pressing a button to fire something anonymously and grabbing a man and sawing off his head. i mean, you might ruin your clothes in the latter case.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:40, Reply)

I don't like all that either.
Can't we all just get along?

Spouting off about "The West" and how awful it is. I love the fact that I'm of "The West". Maybe if they modernised themselves a bit, they would see the light.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 16:11, Reply)

News stories. The fake sign language guy story made me lol, the one at Mandelafest '13.
Were all the deaf dudes too polite to say wtf?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:58, Reply)

Actually that was fucking 'lol'

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 14:59, Reply)

Yes! Saying he was seeing angels and that.
Coupled with Obama taking a selfie with his wife all stony faced on the other side, that whole sendoff was a shambles.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:03, Reply)

www.anorak.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/PA-18438104.jpg
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:04, Reply)

By way of explanation, a Government spokesperson said
that they'd been having trouble with that company for years, on account of them being shit.
( Kroney, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:04, Reply)

And blick.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:35, Reply)

hahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:35, Reply)

how's the head?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:39, Reply)

Ouchy.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:44, Reply)

Where were you last night?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:56, Reply)

In the pines
In the pines
where the sun don't ever shine
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 16:07, Reply)

*shivers the whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooole nigggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhht through*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 16:23, Reply)

Darts at the Ally Pally with Jeff.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 16:07, Reply)

There's a South African chap that works here.
He said something like "Ai dun't inderstarnd all the fess ovver it. He kulled a lit of people, right? They're ull fucking thieves inyway."

Apparently he spent some time in the South African army. He gave og some sage advice: "Ef you foind a blick in yer hice, shoot hem bit don't cull the police. Dreg hem utsoide end then cull thim."

He's a massive fucking racist in the non-lol sense.
( Kroney, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:55, Reply)

Excellent accenting

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:56, Reply)

Eh'm gunna git ya beck ta ya boy, mate. Come on before ai chenge ma moind.
Fockin' prawn.
( Kroney, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:59, Reply)

Nivva torn yur bick un a prown

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 16:00, Reply)

Bar manager at one of the student bars at UCL
was an ex-para from the Zimbabwe army. Or, "the Rhodesian army" as he put it, as he refused to acknowledge the forming of Zimbabwe. So you can probably guess his general racial beliefs. "Paint em blik and send em herm" was more or less his catchphrase.

Actually, if he's a short, stocky psycho called Alex, it's probably the same guy.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:59, Reply)

Seems he found an appropriate task for his mental prowess after demobbing, though.

( Kroney, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 16:04, Reply)

Those Geordie Rhodesians get fucking everywhere

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 16:05, Reply)

It's a remarkably similar emphasis on the word "home"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 16:06, Reply)

Home in a proper NE accent would be pronounced hyem
Ahm garn hyem
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 16:24, Reply)

FFS
I haven't had any free gifts for hours now
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:25, Reply)

I've got some free guffs you can have
proper pea-soupers you could chew on
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:45, Reply)

I have enough of them, thanks

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:48, Reply)

Alright other bear.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:50, Reply)

Who are you?

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 16:13, Reply)

alright
Cheers.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:36, Reply)

yer
Get fucked, etc.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:39, Reply)

^^^^^^^^^

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:39, Reply)

charming

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:45, Reply)

I am, rather
And witty
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:49, Reply)

^ lies ^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:49, Reply)

you're a tubby, grey-haired IT sadsack

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:50, Reply)

I am not tubby

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:52, Reply)

soz, grossly obese

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:54, Reply)

tggi ^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 15:55, Reply)

We have a right laugh on here.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 16:12, Reply)

Do we balls.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 16:17, Reply)

GJ does, yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 17 Dec 2013, 16:24, Reply)