Alright frogtopicers, you have been doing a terrible job today, I'm ashamed of all of you.
When was the last time you were ashamed or embarrassed? I fell asleep in the cinema and snored.
Alt: Did you have a lovely weekend or what? I did, I done some DIY stuff and ate sweets.
Altalt: How are you, you know, in yourself? Is everything okay hun? Xx
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 14:49, 222 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

i was embarrassed when the person next to me in the cinema snored REALLY LOUDLY
alt: yes. bar on Friday, friend's house on sat, admin/cooking/DIY yesterday

altalt: tired and grumpy
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 14:51, Reply)

Why are you grumpy?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 14:56, Reply)

the crap sex she was subjected to at the weekend

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:00, Reply)

BUSY BORED
WORK INNIT
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:04, Reply)

Yes it is rather

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:07, Reply)

Hold up now, since when did 94007 come before 12899 ?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:09, Reply)

94007 hadn't had it for a while and was a little sensitive.

( Muns, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:15, Reply)

I had a great weekend thanks, yeah?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 14:52, Reply)

Good, me too. I saw some real friends on Saturday too, that was nice.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 14:56, Reply)

yer me too
It was most pleasant.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 14:59, Reply)

I cannot recall the last time I was embarrassed
Alt:
Not a bad weekend at all. Ate nice food and chilled out. No overtime so that was useful.

AltAlt:
Truth be told I feel a bit tired today. Can I go home?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 14:58, Reply)

You can go home.
After work.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:01, Reply)

awwww

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:03, Reply)

I just let you have a whole weekend

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:08, Reply)

I have no shame or sense of embarrassment.
You've seen what I look like, right?

Alt: It was marvellous, thanks. Apart from the horrendous hangover on Saturday.
I'm exhausted now though.

Altalt: That last sentence should probably have been the answer here.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 14:59, Reply)

You are devilishly handsome, I totes would if I were a bird or a queer.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:02, Reply)

he has soulful and beseeching eyes

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:04, Reply)

oulful unken eseeching loodshot
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:13, Reply)

Got all three covered. .
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2185007
(BeatsWork, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:01, Reply)

Shut up, BeatsWork. There's a new thread now.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:03, Reply)

Not much cop though

(BeatsWork, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:07, Reply)

top input right here

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:20, Reply)

The last time I got caught wanking
Should've waited till closer to the end of the haircut

Alt: Drank too much and made a luvverly carbonara.

Altalt: I'm tired and bored.
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:07, Reply)

i thought the guy next to me at the backwash was wanking in the hairdresser once
turned out he was polishing his glasses underneath the robe. I felt like the dirty perv for suspecting him...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:08, Reply)

save it for the shitcom toots

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:09, Reply)

you mispelled BAFTA

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:12, Reply)

FAT BA

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:16, Reply)

BIFTA

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:18, Reply)

fat biffer

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:19, Reply)

Abaft - Backwards

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:18, Reply)

suspect finish +off
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:09, Reply)

well naturally
it was only a short back and sides
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:12, Reply)

It was more the long front

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:16, Reply)

Altalt: as is everyone today :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:09, Reply)

I made risotto with nommy chorizo and roasted veg

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:09, Reply)

the italians say that risotto is the dish you make for the one you love
because it takes so long to do it properly
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:11, Reply)

Lazy eye-ties.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:12, Reply)

I love making risotto

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:13, Reply)

By risotto, I mean wanking

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:13, Reply)

I love wanking into risotto

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:15, Reply)

I normally use butter and parmesan*
* whilst wanking
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:16, Reply)

i use ginger and lard

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:20, Reply)

Not when she reads this, you won't.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:21, Reply)

well i thought it was reasonably amusing

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:23, Reply)

more dumped than battered's toilet

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:26, Reply)

oh good i can do fun stuff again

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:27, Reply)

Oh it was.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:28, Reply)

Whoa, bit harsh with the pet names there frogster

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:21, Reply)

Mine was really simple
Lots of spaghetti and bacon and mushrooms and wine with a beaten egg and parmesan mix added once it was cooked and some home made garlic bread. I was supposed to make this mince and dumplings thing but I couldn't be arsed*


*was a bit pissed when it came to cooking time and got a bit Keith-Floyd-method once I'd started
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:13, Reply)

Work just skyped me and I can't work out how to make it no-camera to begin with so the whole office saw me in my dressing gown and jewfro

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:09, Reply)

Wear clothes
Problem solved
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:10, Reply)

effort

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:22, Reply)

yeah try getting dressed like normal people you lazy slob

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:11, Reply)

try getting your face like normal people

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:23, Reply)

bit harsh

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:25, Reply)

well soz

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:38, Reply)

apology accepted

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:38, Reply)

better be

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:47, Reply)

Yes I had a lovely weekend.
Shame it's over, really.

Altalt: also tired and grumpy.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:10, Reply)

it's okay 4 more days and you can have another

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:11, Reply)

Yer, innit.
I just resent having to work for a living - I feel life owes me a living.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:22, Reply)

yeah me too thats why im on benefits and have a council flat and a brown baby

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:23, Reply)

Swarfega and wire wool.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:31, Reply)

I'd like to apologise to anyone who lives within 40 miles of me
For the stench of the shit my daughter has just launched.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:20, Reply)

launched?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:21, Reply)

Dirty protest.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:21, Reply)

The velocity means no other description would be accurate.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:22, Reply)

i don't know how to reply to that

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:22, Reply)

You and Swipe will know what I'm on about once you've had kids together.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:23, Reply)

no way dude, kids are boring little leeches on both time and finances which i require for myself alone

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:25, Reply)

Or separately, like yours.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:30, Reply)

ZING

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:31, Reply)

Kerpow!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:34, Reply)

daughter overtaxed arsehole
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:25, Reply)

It's nearly has bad as your breath.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:26, Reply)

shut up greasy sausage head

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:29, Reply)

see? i knew it wasn't just me who noticed

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:29, Reply)

Maybe it's because SHPCCIHM?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:30, Reply)

lols all round

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:31, Reply)

textbook

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:32, Reply)

she has penis cheese coagulating in her mouth?

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:32, Reply)

close enough.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:44, Reply)

in more ways than one

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:00, Reply)

Nicely done.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:34, Reply)

Oh, I say.
He's just rocked back, swivelled and deposited that into the crowd with almost no effort. Classy.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:41, Reply)

I love these

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:42, Reply)

i have the fresh breath of the alps
you nasty little turdburger
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:57, Reply)

After Brian Blessed shit himself climbing up them

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:00, Reply)

this does not reflect well on you

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:02, Reply)

its okay its just forum banter innit

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:03, Reply)

I don't feel shame
Although back when I had my own house in Brum it was such a tip I didn't have anyone round. Took a while to sort out when I moved.

Alt: Nice quiet one, made a slow cooker lamb stew that was easily better than GeordieJay's. Delicious reheated on Sunday and I'm having it again today with some creme fraiche mashed potatoes.
Altalt: I'm feeling awake and alert thanks to an early night which is v unusual and possibly explains why I've spent most of the day at work actually working.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:34, Reply)

GeordiesJay's what? HUR HUR
Altalt: Wrong. You're tired/bored/grumpy like everyone else.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:36, Reply)

His slow cooker lamb stew, you silly head
AltAlt: Nope. It's weird and a little disconcerting.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:39, Reply)

Creme fraiche mashed potato sounds nice

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:43, Reply)

+and gay

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:58, Reply)

I do have to add here that my lamb stew was fucking beaut!
I couldn't have reheated though as it was slow cooked for about 10 hours!

Stick your creme fraiche up your arse.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:06, Reply)

Did you add a roux to thicken the sauce? Half a bottle of Nero d'Avola and some chestnut mushrooms for the last 30 minutes?
I DIDN'T THINK SO.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 17:06, Reply)

I'm generally ashamed of humanity on an almost daily basis, to be honest
Alt: yeah, was OK, lots of time with minibadger, started some work that needs doing before our place goes on the market, and I roasted the last of Austin or Squealy yesterday for a pork dinner win.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:43, Reply)

eating meat *is* great innit

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:44, Reply)

It's even better when you've seen pictures of it before it was killed and butchered.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:44, Reply)

i love it when they seem all nice and happy before their grizzly demise

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:45, Reply)

Austin and Squealy
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:54, Reply)

were they yours?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:55, Reply)

no. They were a mate's
I wouldn't have called pigs Austin and Squealy.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:56, Reply)

what would you have called them?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:58, Reply)

Bacon and Cockthistle. probably.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:04, Reply)

Lunch + Dinner

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:08, Reply)

^or this

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:15, Reply)

which one's YM??

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:55, Reply)

100% squealy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:55, Reply)

I would have guessed Austin
cos 'Everything's bigger in Texas'
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:57, Reply)

*golf claps*

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:57, Reply)

'Everything's bigger in exes'

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:58, Reply)

haha!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:00, Reply)

Since neither of them are in an electric wheelchair
Imma gonna go for "neither"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:57, Reply)

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:58, Reply)

YES.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:03, Reply)

Pork belly giving it welly

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:07, Reply)

meals on wheels - delivered fresh!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:07, Reply)

He looks so happy!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:08, Reply)

I probably wouldn't eat him
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:14, Reply)

I totally fukken would.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:16, Reply)

yeah me too

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:16, Reply)

The cuter it is, the more likely I'll eat it.
Well, cute and tasty, obvs.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:23, Reply)

is that what happens when you order two pork chops?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:15, Reply)

Face tastes ace

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:45, Reply)

tu aime le fromage du tete

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:57, Reply)

When my thumb slipped and gave her a shocker
Alt. I took my daughters to a 6 year olds birthday party and a 3 year olds birthday party. I am sure I saw Bartleby at both. Still it wasn't all bad. Sorted the missus out with a really expensive dress for her birthday, its being custom fitted and costs more than one of Swipeys haircuts and everything. So yeh got me a shag that did.

AltAlt Fine thanks sweetheart! Though that might just be the booze.
( Peej, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:49, Reply)

Altalt: Good, I've been worried but I'm glad you're okay xx

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 15:51, Reply)

Oh iyaaaaa.
Been busy sorting out compliance stuff today. Very boring.

I mixed it up with a bit shopping. New togs for my Ireland trip in a couple of weeks.

I'm really good in myself (ooer), always am. What's there to do a sad about (cue tales of bedsits, call centres and being a poof).
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:05, Reply)

Yes I'm sure if you need help in deconstructing your positivity there are people here who can help you.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:07, Reply)

well, they may try to...
I'm not even upset tbh.

Just ordered this. Comes with a white flag.
www.goarmy.co.uk/french-army-f2-jacket-prod
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:11, Reply)

Alright Dozer

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:13, Reply)

get fucked.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:19, Reply)

nice use of blue camouflage there
Camo is definitely in this season.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:28, Reply)

That's actually quite nice.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:32, Reply)

Of course it is...

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:37, Reply)

bit gay though

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:38, Reply)

Most "army" jackets make you look like a friendless cunt or a serial killer, though.
SO you understand my surprise
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:40, Reply)

French innit. They're all a bit flamboyant over there.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:43, Reply)

My dad made a mint selling suplus army gear on the markets to the NF

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:53, Reply)

I haven't been to the pub today.
#justsayin
#noitsnotdryjanuary
#promptingreplies
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:37, Reply)

WHY THE FUCK NOT?
I need to go and buy a fuckload of beer tomorrow
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:38, Reply)

he's pregnant

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:39, Reply)

:O

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:39, Reply)

i've got a ginger baby in my tummy

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:40, Reply)

You can sail the seven seas

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:41, Reply)

Couldn't be bothered, don't fancy it today.
I am now ready to go home.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 13 Jan 2014, 16:39, Reply)