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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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This is proper tough guy stuff
www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jan/28/doctor-fights-shark-stitches-up-leg
Could you see your GP doing this?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 7:42, 106 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
No.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:10, Reply)
Go, secondbesttroll!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:15, Reply)
Get fucked, rachelswipe!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:19, Reply)
I do
Regularly. You should try it some time, it's been about 8 years since the last "mrs dozer"" took you shopping".
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:34, Reply)
I do also.
Regularly.

Time for swipeypoos to accept that she has zero idea about my offline life.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:36, Reply)
Dear FM D-S ret
Putting on a miniskirt and wanking while staring at yourself in the mirror doesn't count, sorry to be the bearer.
Fondest Regards
Bonz
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:51, Reply)
Good fun, though.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:55, Reply)
No one would deny that

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:58, Reply)
No, but my dentist is an aussie, so he probably could.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:19, Reply)
Not bad.
I'd have done it differently though.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:21, Reply)
Run out of the water, screaming like a girl?

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:23, Reply)
Well you'd know about screaming girls running away from you...

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:24, Reply)
Thanks for that.
I wish I had contributed to your "being a cunt thread" last night.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:30, Reply)
Haha . Whatdid you think of Carrie?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:33, Reply)
I fell asleep after 20 minutes.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:34, Reply)
Shame, it's a good film.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:37, Reply)
it's textbook De Palma

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:40, Reply)
You know the scene with the pigs blood being dumped over her head?
Well the directors wife and daughters were all synced up and were blobbing that day so for a joke he replaced the bucket of corn syrup with a bucket of mixed period.

Bet you didn't know that did you fact fans!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:37, Reply)
Or "a cornish bath" as it is more commonly known

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:48, Reply)
Nah, thats slurry
www.thisisthewestcountry.co.uk/news/devon_news/8885350.Pervert_caught_pleasuring_himself_in_slurry_for_third_time/
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:52, Reply)
Quality comment
"He couldnt be more Cornish if he tried -Im surprised he wasnt wearing only a Plymouth Argyle shirt eating a slurry pasty!"
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:55, Reply)
This is a link from the article.
www.thisisthewestcountry.co.uk/news/8286666.Man_in_dress_performed_sex_act_on_dog_at_Pendennis_Castle__Falmouth/?ref=ar

The long Winter nights must fly by...
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:04, Reply)
Plymouth being in Devon

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:10, Reply)
What a fuckwit eh readers?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:15, Reply)
I thought that she didnt live here anymore?

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:49, Reply)
Well I lolled

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:11, Reply)
I'd have had a BBQ and eaten the shark

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:28, Reply)
^^best idea so far

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:34, Reply)
He had a first aid kit he kept in his vehicle for pig hunts.
Proper South Islander!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:34, Reply)
Us Kent based GPs can mix it with the bad boys too you know.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:36, Reply)
Yer you get some pretty fierce dabs down Dover way.

(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:40, Reply)
Yeah, I bet he still can't pronounce vowels properly though

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:38, Reply)
I watch Rescuers Down Under, with my daughters this weekend
and it still bugs me that the kid pronounced "pack" as "paark"
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:40, Reply)
Isn't that how your kids speak anyway?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:43, Reply)
Silly tangles
Cornish kids aren't able to speak, they use an advanced local 7 fingered form of sign language
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:49, Reply)
I find that offencive
Its either 11 or 12 fingers and they communicate in an ancient language consisting mainly of clicks and whistles.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:51, Reply)
hahaha
Touche
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:51, Reply)
FlipperJoe

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:00, Reply)
They can use their vestigal fingers as a primitive abacus too.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:52, Reply)
He was spear fishing.
Never thought to shoot the fucker?

Should be on QOTW
(I helped save b3ta! edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 28 Jan 2014, 8:38, Reply)
My normal GP is so fucking shit he'd probably try and give the shark paracetamol

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:13, Reply)
Hello patient.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:15, Reply)
I'll quote my last conversation with him form a few years ago
Doc: "What seems to be the trouble?"
Cow: "My back is aching, feels like a pulled muscle or something"
Doc: "What do you expect me to do about it?"
Cow: "...."
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:27, Reply)
Didn't he insert a digit?
He sounds rubbish to me.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:31, Reply)
Not even one
:o(
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:42, Reply)
*lubes uo to the elbow*

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:44, Reply)
It's not really your GP's fault if people come to see him with complaints that could be dealt with by OTC medicines.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:17, Reply)
People should try getting jobs
rather than just sponging off the NHS. They don't deserve proper drugs.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:19, Reply)
Do you get exemption from prescription charges for your insulin?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:31, Reply)
Yes.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:34, Reply)
Me too for my epi meds. Saves me quite a lot of cash.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:36, Reply)
I pay a lot of tax so I don't feel too bad.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:39, Reply)
I can seriously see the NHS dead within 25 years.
Very sadly I must admit.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:36, Reply)
Tory prick

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:37, Reply)
Not at all quite the reverse.
Unfortunately I'm not a politician/policy maker.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:39, Reply)
Kcirp yrot

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:46, Reply)
As long as it's still free at the point of use I don't think anyone will care.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:43, Reply)
leave amorous badger and psycho alone

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:40, Reply)
you're killing them.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:42, Reply)
when you put it that way,,,
meh
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:46, Reply)
Quiet today
have some SCIENTICFIC PROOF!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:22, Reply)
Well I'm convinced.
Die Gedanken Sind Frei
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:28, Reply)
Weatherman and TV's Fred Talbot gets charged with buggery and says
"I'm just one of many, aren't I?"

There's contrition for you.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:23, Reply)
I bet he used to share them with Richard Madeley,whilst Judy Finnegan sat there fucking herself with an empty bottle of cava.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:26, Reply)
As long as Dibnah is in the clear, I'm ok

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:29, Reply)
In the same way Savile is, i.e. he's dead.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:35, Reply)
I love a bit of Dibnah

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:38, Reply)
He's up all night to get lucky.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:40, Reply)
No wonder you drink so heavily, if this is the kind of dark thought that occupies your sober mind.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:32, Reply)
Yes.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:37, Reply)
When discussing the regular recurrence of an ear infection with my GP
I though I had asked 'Is there anything I should do to help prevent it in the future?', he clearly took it as a more all encompassing question and advised me to 'Just live your life', like some kind of nu-age guru. Still, it's advice I have taken on board, as I am still very much 'living my life'.
Alt: Hello!
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:35, Reply)
He was probably boredhearing about your sore toe.
Actually he sounds shit.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:38, Reply)
To be fair, he's the best Doc I've ever had, none of the usual 'Try penicillin, now piss off' nonsense.
Anyway, it's numb, not sore you fucking shit GP.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:41, Reply)
numb toe and shaking hand = GO BACK TO THE DOCTOR

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:47, Reply)
+ overgrowth of knee cartilage \o/

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:49, Reply)
With your alcohol dependency too, I'll give you 6 months. Get your affairs in order.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:53, Reply)
I only binge at weekends!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:53, Reply)
There's a little black train a comin'
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tvp7VNSdaBQ
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:54, Reply)
Still pattern dependency
Have you had a liver function test? Or a finger up the rear?
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:56, Reply)
No. Yes.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:57, Reply)
Basically he's saying you should drink more during the week

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:58, Reply)
Sounds reasonable.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:58, Reply)
Ym's doesn't count. And behind the bins isn't ideal either.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:59, Reply)
I have had a doctors finger up my arse. It was okay but I wouldn't do it again, or for pleasure.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:00, Reply)
How about for money?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:01, Reply)
Maybe a tightly rolled note, but not a big bag of coins.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 10:02, Reply)
Parkinson's
You will be able to use him as a human vibrator within the next 6 months...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:50, Reply)

months days
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:57, Reply)
Yes frog.
LIsten to your mother.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:50, Reply)
It's this sort of verbal bullying that keeps me away from your lot.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:52, Reply)
Ignore these people, frog
There are a variety of CAM available to buy online, meaning you don't even need to leave your house to treat it.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:52, Reply)
Thank you Tangs, the voice of reason AS USUAL

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:54, Reply)
Mumsnet is an excellent repository of homespun wisdom and hard med fact.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:54, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKiUjgjgy84
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:38, Reply)
Would've

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:43, Reply)
^

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:47, Reply)
I would have said, "Pardon?".
You know, like I had an ear infection and couldn't hear you.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:41, Reply)
I think he'd just done the syringing, so I could hear THANK YOU VERY MUCH MR FUNNY GUY

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:43, Reply)
I would have engaged the shark in a lengthy intellectual debate about morality, pointing to Tony B.LIAR starting an illegal war, and how THATcher ruined the country.
The shark would soon see the error of its aggressive ways, and we'd form a folk-rock band together and tour around the world, shagging hippy chicks and tweeting about it from our iPads.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:38, Reply)
I'd have got Bono to write a song about it.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:41, Reply)
Please dont

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 Jan 2014, 9:44, Reply)

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