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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Fucking hellIdiot customers/staff
Tell me your tales of workplace stupidity. Either your own or others
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:27,
115 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
I have the utmost respect for our staff and patients. Especially the patients. Especially the ones who self diagnose and tell me what drugs to prescribe them. Wikipedia is fucking awesome.
(, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:32, Reply)
What is hypertonic saline used for?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:33,
Reply)
This person blamed the network for her slow PC but she doesn't understand networks HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHANext question.
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Peej, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:34,
Reply)
Did you deliver a cunt punch?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:36,
Reply)
we had a member of staff who didn't know that it was possible for high earners to keep tbeir child benefit rather than losing it!Lol!
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Whats the cutoff for that? £60k?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:38,
Reply)
yerStarts incurring additional tax charge at 50k, completely obliterated by the tax charge at 60k.
Easy enough to avoid the extra tax charge innit.
(, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:39, Reply)
Transfer it to the other parent?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:43,
Reply)
no, because the additional tax charge is levied on the parent earning over 50k and is non transferable(, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:44, Reply)
I haven't got a fucking clue(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:49,
Reply)
duhMake a gross pension contribution to bring net relevant earnings under the threshold. You also benefit from the increased tax relief.
You thick cunt.
(, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:51, Reply)
Its easier to earn less than 50k(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:52,
Reply)
plus, pension contributions extend your personal allowance by the gross amount so it's a lower personal income tax liability innit me funky nigga(, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:55, Reply)
You still end up with less money in your pocket thoughso you're not actually avoiding it.
(, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:06, Reply)
well, yeah, but it's in a pocket you can access at 55, which is better than giving it to the taxmanSwings and roundabouts eh.
(, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:07, Reply)
also, it's the gross contribution which is taken into account, not the net one, so you're a bit better off(, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:12, Reply)
Good morning SportersA large, and quite deliberately unadvertised portion of my job is the supply of commercial heating spares to maintenance companies who look after commercial buildings and offices etc. We have a website which is not on search engines, and if it is stumbled upon is password protected. Why I receive emails from people we don't deal with and have never been in contact with asking for light bulbs and rotary washing lines is a mystery to me.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:39,
Reply)
I need a new chimney bit for my central heating as it got damaged during the winds:o(
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:43,
Reply)
nerI "fixed" it back on at the weekend
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:50,
Reply)
I need a new light bulb in the bedroom, can you sort me out?Get Winders to fit it for me
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:50,
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Yeah I'll get you one from CEF and put 100% mark up on it + P&P(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:51,
Reply)
I get them regularlyAt least 4 or 5 a month, generally along the lines of 'I've seen this 3D printing and I'd like to start a business - I can't tell you what it is unless you sign this non-disclosure agreement'. Once signed they come back with 'My idea is that I will scan wedding photos and make models of the Bride and Groom'.
It normally takes me an hour to get it through their thick skulls that:-
a) A photograph is 2D, therefore...
b) A SCAN of a photograph is also 2D so....
c) You have no 3D data to make a 3D model so...
d) IT WON'T FUCKING WORK YOU RETARD.*
The second type also boil my piss.
'How much would a 3D printer cost, I want to make models like I've seen in the magazines, y'know, multiple colours, multiple materials, anything up to about 500mm square'. I ask if they have 3D CAD, generally they answer in the negative. Once they're told they need 3D CAD (at about £3k) and the machine will be in excess of £250k, plus they'll need maintenance package at about 10% of the machine cost per year, plus the materials they ALWAYS come back with 'But, the machines in Maplins are about six hundred quid'. I find it hard to be polite.
*I wish I could actually say this but I grit my teeth and wish them well with their endeavours - then I direct them to my competitors
(, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:43, Reply)
How long do they take to build a model up?say 20cm x 20cm?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:45,
Reply)
Depends on the material, geometry of the part and the orientation of the build(, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:47, Reply)
A plastic penis with a 'prefer not to say' orientation(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:49,
Reply)
Unfortunately you're limited to clear or 'rose' for biocompatability(, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:09, Reply)
BaybeeeeI compare you to a cock from a rose from Placid
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:13,
Reply)
I occasionally deal with people who don't trust the likes of Secondbesttroll to help themThey are, by definition, idiots and more often than not, mental.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:58,
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I help the people you can't help.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:16,
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Thank you for curing my toe Shamen Tangles(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:25,
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*takes powerful entheogen**dances*
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:46,
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I like sponge, because they won't let me have anything sharp.(
d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 10:58,
Reply)
I need to pre-load a secondary schema package spec so the primary schema will compileI only went and created the build XML wrong THREE TIMES. I'm an idiot haha
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:01,
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They changed our primary package from a Java enterprise application to a web applicationAND added arclib folder and a Java classpath prefix.
WITHOUT TELLING US
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:03,
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well, that's just CRAZY(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:04,
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INORITEHaving to create a new deploy script now...
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:05,
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AND Java keep releasing new security baseline releases which "bombs" the older ones(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:07,
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I got the build xml wrong againfuck me this stuff is stupidly complicated with interdependencies everywhere.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:35,
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You cunts are thickand have apparently run out of crayons
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:46,
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It really comes across that way, you mentalist!(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:07,
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localboy needs therapy(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:41,
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I have just concluded a heated conversation that opened with me suggesting I send them the template and working instructions.After a five-minute discussion, during which they got increasingly agitated, they concluded that I should probably just send them the template and the working instructions.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:09,
Reply)
My versions of that normally start with escalation requests for incidents, 25 emails and finally them accepting that my initial answer was the right one(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:10,
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Everything I did in the last fortnight has been overwritten by someone who came back off their holiday and copied a load of folders from their laptop onto the server without bothering to check their contents first.Staff member in question's stupidity and refusal to do even the tiniest bit of housekeeping is the main reason we are unable to run a proper backup system, which would have been quite handy to have today.
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:15,
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Their basmati is quite nice.(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:17,
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I'm currently arguing with one of our siteswho are insisting that we told them NOT to take nightly backups.
Err, of course we did
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:30,
Reply)
Can't really say that there's a lot of stupidity with the staff here.There are some scally's on the sales team and a few 'bredrens' but they all work competently.
One of the Solicitor firms we work with are a bit hard work. constant automated emails from them about cases and if we ask them for a summary of work it seems an impossible task.
I have even sent them template spreadsheets to make their lives easier and still they are baffled.
Ho hum. Keeps it fresh I suppose.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:43,
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No one cares, you horrible cyber bully, turn the pedantry down a notch. Poor Jaysean :'((
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:51,
Reply)
This customer, while we are doing major refurbon his house with various heavy duty electrical equipment, remarks that we must be using a lot of power. With that he goes in the room and swaps the light bulb for a low wattage job. WTF?
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 6 Feb 2014, 11:44,
Reply)
OG had a non-working shower. Plumber came this morning.Took them an hour to work out that the shower head was higher than the level of water in the system and that pumping water vertically is hard.
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Kroney, Thu 6 Feb 2014, 12:11,
Reply)
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