Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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come on, where is everyone?!so it's official, AB is obsessed with me. what are you obsessed with?
alt: apparently, 50% of what you say when you are joking is true. do you agree?
altalt: what makes you uncomfortable?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 9:49,
155 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
Altalt: All these questions(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 9:50,
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Alt: Apparently, most 'facts' prefixed with the word 'apparently' are utter nonsense(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 9:55,
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i thought that was "actually"98% of people who start a sentence with "actually" are lying or not sure of what they are saying
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:03,
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To tell you the truth so are moststatements preceded by "to tell you the truth".
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:12,
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I'm not racist but that sounds unlikelyHonky.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:19,
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I am obsessed with monitoring who's obsessed with you. Oh no wait a minute, that's you isn't it? Not really obsessed with anything really. I'm quite competitive in sport, but it's hardly an obsession.
Alt: Nope. Almost ALL of what I say when I'm joking is true.
Alt:Alt: Sandpaper in my cricket box.
(, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 9:56, Reply)
AltAlt: more angry than uncomfortableMy stupid CUNT of an ex-wife. Who decided micro could walk up a set of wet, slippery, steep stairs unassisted. As a result my daughter fell over and has badly chipped one of her front teeth.
I am going to kill the stupid fucking bitch. I hope she gets terminal cancer so that micro can come & live with me full time.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 9:57,
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Or you could accept that these things happen all the time and get over it.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:00,
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Accidents happen, yes. However this happened due to my ex's stupidity & irresponsibility.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:03,
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There is no way I would have let her go up a long steep set of wet stairs without her holding my hand. She’s only 2½ FFS
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:07,
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I knowAt least if she is holding your hand, she can give you a bit of a lift to help you up the big step
(, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:08, Reply)
As parents you make judgement calls like this all the timeSometimes they fall and smash their little faces in, sometimes they improve their motor skills and never look back.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:10,
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Yeah, she'd definitely be safer at home with an alcoholic with anger issues who needs a stepladder to even get on the stairs.(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:20,
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poor microthe only plus side is, at least it's a baby tooth.
revenge: better served cold. this can be stored up and referred to in future debates, when needed.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:02,
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Yep, A baby tooth that she should have for another 4 years or so. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:04,
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it's very poor of her mother, but it is better than an adult toothI was only 4.5 when I got my adult front teeth, so she might not be stuck with a chip for that long.
cold comfort: at least if anyone asks, you get to say, "her mother did it...."
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:11,
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Still, it's good to see you're not bitter.(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:16,
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Thomas Wayne: And why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:23,
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Harsh, but probably for his own good.But definitely for the good of /OT.
(, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:09, Reply)
TERRIBLE BULLYING OF THE LOVELY DOZER!MODS!
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:36,
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The Walking DeadI cannot help it.
Alt:
haha yeah
AltAlt:
15" black rubber cocks
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:02,
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Apparently Jeremy Clarkson has died. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:10,
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his brain, maybeno, wait. that's dozer again.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:12,
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www.ranga.net.au/
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:24,
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It's the Red And Nearly Ginger Association(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:28,
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you shouldn't get our hopes up like that(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:20,
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Against all reasoning I like clarksonAnd I think I would like him if I met him in person,
Its like a guilty secret I have to share
(, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:27, Reply)
I like Jeremy Clarkson. In fact, I like all of them.There. I said it.
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Kroney, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:28,
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He's a follower, for sure.Doesn't immediately make him unlikeable. He reminds me of a terrier. All bounding around and getting his head stuck in rabbit holes.
I genuinely quite like James May, though. My kind of guy.
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Kroney, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:37,
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Everyone's a short-arsse to those of us of normal height.You shouldn't hold that against them.
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Kroney, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:44,
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The sort of odious little wanker who hangs out with the class hardman and consequently takes that as licence to be as much of a prick as possible because otherwise he'd have been roundly 'bogged'.(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:47,
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Terrible bullying of Battered(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:48,
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went on a bit of a pub crawl in chelsea on sat night1 man in every 4 had red trousers on. you would be at home there.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:47,
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yeah yeah nakers is here, everyone is pleased(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:40,
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Only joking!I'm at the pool with mini ape but it's fucking closed so some old people can do aqua aerobics
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:43,
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Hopefully the old people die soon, so you can do some swimming(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:44,
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I would assume that somewhere like Winchester is pretty much owned by the old people.The only route for your kids as they grow up will be the same one that Monty and his brother took.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:47,
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Where yours have Coventry as their "oyster"Still call centre workers are smart and valued members of so so Jett as jaysum has taught us
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:54,
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I'm struggling with 'so so Jett' hereAny ideas?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:01,
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Be careful swipemetro.co.uk/2014/02/06/middle-aged-women-most-at-risk-of-cat-attacks-4294337/
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:34,
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better a cat bite than the crushing disappointment and penury that your kids will inflict on you for many years to come(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:48,
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I like to think that I'll inflict a fair bit of crushing disappointment on them first(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:51,
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The med student who is sitting in on surgery has phoned in ill.Half n hour beforeshe starts. I suspect this is Monday morning illitis. Maybe she's joking?
Not obsessed with anything :(
(, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:36, Reply)
When you said 'surgery' I imagined actual operations being done.She should still be sacked though. Rubbish.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:26,
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Yeah my MP is always performing operations on people(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:30,
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Well, he does hold surgeries for his constituents occasionally.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:48,
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It's really quite warm here you'd like it(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:38,
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No ta.I'm nice and cool and I've got leftover kebab meat for breakfast.
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:49,
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On second thoughts, I might just bin it.My arse is REEKING.
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:57,
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I'm not really obsessed with anythingAlt: There are some people I know who, when they follow a statement with 'Only joking', are actually having a serious dig. Most are actually joking.
Altalt: Loose boxers. FFS they bunch, wrinkle and insinuate themselves into places that they really shouldn't. Microfibre boxers FTW! Stretchy, snug and they keep the tackle securely in their rightful place.
(, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:50, Reply)
certain people on here have a real go at gayjay for being gaythere's no way that is joking. that is poorly suppressed lust.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:53,
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There should be rules for same-sex relationshipsOnly good-looking men are allowed to be gay. Only less-than-attractive ladies are allowed to be lesbians.
That way, the pool of available heterosexual men is diminished and the pool of heterosexual good looking women is increased, thereby increasing the chances of average-looking guys scoring with good-looking women.
Vote for me!
(, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:57, Reply)
Hang on what about ugly cunts like myselfWill I have to go lesbian?
(, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:00, Reply)
yeah, but looks are towards the bottom of the pile of Important Thingsbrains and humour, please. and being a decent human being.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:06,
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i've been out with a complete range, from total uggo but with charisma and we had a real laugh togetherto body obsessive model type, and I can safely say that looks were not a factor in any of it for me.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:14,
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Looks are a factor for everyone, for good or ill.Human nature.
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Kroney, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:22,
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some people make it more of a factor than othersthose people are not good people
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:25,
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^agreed^However, would you introduce yourself/offer to buy a drink for someone who was out of your acceptable range of hideousness? Also there is some truth in the Beat song 'Too nice to talk to' - I:E so far out of one's league so you don't even try.
(, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:29, Reply)
loads of timesmy ex of 4 years looks like Harold bishop.
but you should see the girl he married - she's stunning, but a weird german cunt. which is probably why he's bored shitless after 4 years of marriage, and texts me (and doubtless others) whenever she goes away.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:48,
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Tut, if you're going to make a statement, have the courage of your own convictions to actually say it, would you?Alluding to it isn't subtle or clever.
I recognise that attraction is at least partly based on what I find attractive. Everybody like to have a physically attractive partner. So do you. Yeah it's not always necessary and it's not always the top reason for being attracted to somebody, but it's there.
The only person you're bullshitting by pretending otherwise is yourself.
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Kroney, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:32,
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you pride yourself on being shallow, for some unfathomable reason, but good luck to you shock horror: not everyone thinks that looks are as important as you do. so it's not "bullshit", it's just you.
and if you doubt that, remind yourself of the pics of some of my ex's that you've seen.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:43,
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To quote Battered:"You're a fucking idiot".
And indeed I do remember pictures of your exes. And what you said about them.
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Kroney, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:46,
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Pink. Bright pink.An image I shall never be able to excise from my mind.
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Kroney, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:48,
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Innit, it's a little to consistant to be satire I reckon(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:06,
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There's a definite hint of bi-curious to it all.Or in Rory's case, full blown jealousy
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:30,
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You know those little pots of fruit you get in juice, like Nature's Finest and Del Monty.I probably have about 2 or 3 a day for the last 2 months.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 10:58,
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gonz, who did your kitchen, and were they any good?I need two others to give me a quote
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:05,
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I was well pleased with it, oddly enough they're doing my bathroom this week too.There's someone who has done work'n'stuff for the family since I was a kid, so we got him to do it. He doesn't normally do kitchens so he got in someone else to help.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:12,
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so you bought the kitchen and had someone else fit it?even magnet want £26k for mine, which seems excessive for the dfs of the kitchen world, stupid big room needing loads of cupboards.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:15,
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Depends on how many cupboards you actually NEEDIf it's a big room, look at alternative layouts/uses
(, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:25, Reply)
it's sort of in a C shape at the moment, with the other half as a dining room - that half is staying putI think it's the best lay-out for the room, tbh, but have a designer coming down on sat to draw up some pics.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:27,
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I'm here!! Don't worry!!At the minute I'm obsessed with Dexter. I've done 5 series in a month :/
alt. I believe there is a glimmer of truth in most jokes and stereotypes. No smoke without fire.
altalt. Physical violence.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:17,
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Ha! yes I've seen that in London.A Chorus Line or GTFO!
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:29,
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Films, I guess (I'm really into them)I had a weekend of laughably mediocre films (Alex Cross, Total Recall remake) mid-range Coen drudgery (Inside Llewyn Davis) and a Scottish musical (Sunshine On Leith). The last was the best of the lot thanks to a very good cast and me being a massive bummer (joke).
Alt: bollocks
Altalt: People standing too close to me.
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Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:44,
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Yeah the, films were pretty bad. can't say I've seen the Scottish one.altalt. Space Invaders
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 10 Feb 2014, 11:46,
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