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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I reckon it was those pesky kidsthat done it.
How's your Monday shaping up?
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 13:41, 160 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
Well - I've got a doc's appointment at 1130 tomorrow, so that means I'm not concerned about getting up early tomorrow.
Which is nice.

Also, YM rang. I couldn't tell what she was trying to say.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 13:51, Reply)
That nasty dose of the pox should clear up soon. Yours and hers,

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 13:54, Reply)
Yer.
Whisky cures everything eventually.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 14:05, Reply)
cool thread bro

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 14:06, Reply)
I was going to have a whine, but beefsy has some serious stuff going on, so it wouldn't feel right.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 21 Jul 2014, 14:24, Reply)
How's your fraudulent compo claim coming along?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 14:26, Reply)
I've got to go to the doctor as it's company policy.
My back hurts a little now, which is worrying, but my neck is fine.
I might not have to go to work tomorrow as he they're struggling to get me a hire van.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 21 Jul 2014, 14:35, Reply)
The guy I went to see when I had a minor accident was a total shyster.
Clearly on the claim company's payroll, asking all sorts of leading questions designed to get me to say I had injuries that weren't really there. Well dodgy industry.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 14:37, Reply)
Colin Murray was on the radio the other day complaining about this
He'd had a bump with a car and sorted it all out. Two years later they were ringing him asking him to claim his £1000 for injury. He told them to fuck off as he'd not been hurt at all.
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 14:49, Reply)
That's one thing, but I went to a doctor to get assessed
and he was saying things like "Did you have trouble turning your head?" to which I replied, "no, not really"

"So I'll put down that you had non specific neck trauma"

Fucking "neck trauma"? The only "trauma" I experienced was having to pay my insurance excess.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 14:53, Reply)
Why did you have to pay the excess? Was it your fault you reckless lunatic?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 21 Jul 2014, 14:57, Reply)
No, it wasn't my fault.
Either I got stitched up by Direct Line, or you pay the excess regardless of fault.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:10, Reply)
They should be paid by the at fault parties insurer
You got stitched up.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:22, Reply)
Top tip: Don't get your insurance with Direct Line.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:31, Reply)
Even topper tip
Know your rights when making a claim rather than believing what they tell you. Direct Line will do everything in their power to increase profits so unless you challenge them they will take it from you. If it helps chances are they also charged this onto the at fault party as well. Double bubble
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:44, Reply)
^This
Some dozy bint hit my car while I was parked. I sure as fuck didn't pay my excess - her insurance paid it.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:57, Reply)
I have purchased a cowboy hat and had a haircut

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 14:36, Reply)
alright yer
Just passed an exam.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 14:42, Reply)

am crement covered hamster from my puckered balloon knot
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 14:49, Reply)
That made me do a little lol. And have a little cringe.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:00, Reply)
I'm stuck in the toilet.
Until I regain the feeling in my feet.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 14:43, Reply)
Alright "Michael Gove"
BOOM. SATIRE.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 14:47, Reply)
This is one of lifes most difficult and painful times

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 14:48, Reply)
'styling it out' as you walk across the office with legs like snapped candles isn't fun :(

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 14:55, Reply)
Giant steps are what we take
Walking from the loo
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:02, Reply)
Click.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:11, Reply)
officechuckle

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:17, Reply)
It was going swimmingly until my sister told me she has MS.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Jul 2014, 14:57, Reply)
Shite. Sorry to hear that. My cousin was diagnosed with it about 8 years ago; hopefully your sister has the type that is very gradual.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 14:59, Reply)
We don't know exactly what kind it is yet.
She needs a brain scan to properly confirm it, but the consultant seems pretty sure.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:01, Reply)
Sorry man. Has she just found out? What type is it?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:03, Reply)
Just told today, and see above.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:03, Reply)
Still the weekend eat for a tenner deals are good

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:23, Reply)
oh, you....

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:24, Reply)
Tell me you wont be using that joke at some point

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:38, Reply)
When the fuck did /offtopic turn into "Misery united"?
Actually - don't answer that.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:00, Reply)
I'm having salad for dinner tonight.
Fucking SALAD!
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:02, Reply)
bit gay m8

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:03, Reply)
It's going to have peppered smoked trout in it, so I'm hoping to salvage some dignity.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:04, Reply)
That sounds good

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:05, Reply)
And radishes.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:05, Reply)
I forgot to grow radishes

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:06, Reply)
I do like a bit of radish.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:07, Reply)
Me too
Proper ones though, not the anaemic red and white ones from the supermarket
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:08, Reply)
These are from a supermarket, but surprisingly peppery.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:09, Reply)
I hope meat is involved somewhere.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:04, Reply)
Salad is ok. As long has you have a massive piece of meat with it.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:04, Reply)
That's what she said.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:08, Reply)
OT seems rather medical today. Does anyone want a plaster?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:11, Reply)
I got plastered at the weekend! It was really lol!

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:16, Reply)
I have two asking price offers in on my house now
\o/

BIDDING WAR!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:20, Reply)
Awesome. Maximise your enjoyment by inviting them both to a meeting, and grinning REALLY smugly as they pitch their offers against each other.
Maybe do steeples with your hands, stroke your beard, pause, and then go "Hm .... NO."

Have them beg - BEG - for you to accept their offer.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:22, Reply)
I may get a go on their Mrs

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:27, Reply)
Have them bring their daughters, too.
Just in case.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:28, Reply)
Tie their left hands together
Then create a circle and throw in a knife.

Winner takes all.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:40, Reply)
WORST WANK EVER

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:41, Reply)
Such a thing does not exist

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:45, Reply)
Nice.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:23, Reply)
how near to the 3% band is it?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:24, Reply)
£230k
Just had another bid from 1st time buyer of £227k. Its all going a bit menkle
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:26, Reply)
you have quite a bit of room before it hits 249 then.
Let to Buy worked out well for you then?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:28, Reply)
It paid the mortgage + more for 15 months

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:31, Reply)
don't forget the capital growth as well

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:32, Reply)

capital facial
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:45, Reply)
I'm seeing them at Infest!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:29, Reply)
Fun Boy 3%

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:38, Reply)
My day just goes from bad to worse.
I forgot to buy a stamp when I was up the street and now I'm going to have to go out again.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:25, Reply)
2nd class Monday

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:26, Reply)
you may as well just kill yourself now

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:26, Reply)
I will, right after I've been to the post office!

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:29, Reply)
make sure you don't queue up behind the Devil, he takes many forms!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:31, Reply)
I can't believe that made me grin slightly.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:32, Reply)
You're right, it has been shit on here today.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:35, Reply)
we only have ourselves to blame
and you. we can all blame you.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:55, Reply)
You're right
We peaked too early with my excellent thread.
I should've saved it.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:57, Reply)
Since we're being all medical today, I've just been bitten on the wrist by some sort of ... thing.
In our office. A faceless, grey, 9-5 office.

What the verington T.F.?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:31, Reply)
It's probably going to get infected and drop off.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:32, Reply)
As a shit doctor, I can confirm this.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:39, Reply)
My dog had a tic
It was fucking horrible
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:41, Reply)
Dont be such a fucking jesse
just get a tick remover or if you are a big ol northern woofter put a drop of frontline on the dogs neck and the tick will fall off in less than a day.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:46, Reply)
Its fallen off
He just has a nasty wound on his side
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:47, Reply)
poor gay dog :(
the gay little yellow bird sends sympathy
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:52, Reply)
The stupid dog gets them fairly frequently so using a tick remover is the best way
They are weird looking things when you get them off just a alien mouth bit on a massive body. I have to keep a check on myself as we tend to walk him in bracken type places and being a knobhead I have shorts on so am a prime target for ticks
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:53, Reply)
yer
I'm gonna get one
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:54, Reply)
Dont get the lasso ones they are shit
you can get a pack of 2 (large and small) that are odd tiny forks. You have to get right under and twist rather than yank.


YAY DOG TICK CHAT
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 16:12, Reply)
A new low :(

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 16:20, Reply)
my dog has no nose
How does he smell?

Through the gaping ragged wound in his cute little canine face xx
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:54, Reply)
It feels better than it looks

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:54, Reply)
Ah you have heard my chat up lines then

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 16:14, Reply)
Some sort of parasite?
lawyer, PPI claim firm, that kind of thing?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:32, Reply)
Terrible bullying of Jaysum

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:38, Reply)
I love receiving complaints from PPI chasing firms branching out into investment complaints.
It's embarrassingly easy to have the Ombudsman reject the complaint.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:39, Reply)
U R INCREDIBLY BORING

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:40, Reply)
boo hoo, why did you cash in the with profits bonds boo hoo etc etc

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:48, Reply)
smyls

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:48, Reply)
yeah I was sniggering when I did the defence for that one

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:50, Reply)
Afternoon frog.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:50, Reply)
Yo dawg

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:51, Reply)
This whole place has been incredibly boring.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:54, Reply)
hey, it could be worse, it could be WHISKY CHAT

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:55, Reply)
I'm almost hoping for jaysum to come back off his hols

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:56, Reply)
Only four days left

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:56, Reply)
I swear down imma leave forever

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:58, Reply)
see you in january monty

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:59, Reply)
lol
Did he even last that long?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 16:00, Reply)
couple of weeks, weren't it?
big bent flouncer
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 16:01, Reply)
Dunno m8, but I do know it absolutely definitely wasn't a flounce, no sir.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 16:02, Reply)
haha
I'm so shit bored and lacking in motivation I can't even be bothered to work to pass the time.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 16:01, Reply)
I am debugging upgrade scripts and boiling alive
An excellent idea to wear a black shirt today I think
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 16:22, Reply)
I'm too listless.
No motivation. No get-up-and-go. No nothing.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 16:27, Reply)
^ Not an accountant

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 15:57, Reply)
OK here goes
Not n acoant
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 16:14, Reply)
A ant?

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 16:16, Reply)
A cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 16:17, Reply)
You rang?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 16:18, Reply)
Its almost like hes a bit thick

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 16:20, Reply)
I'm special.
My mum told me so.

At least, I think that's what she said
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 16:21, Reply)
Still, a wanks a wank, eh?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 16:22, Reply)
Absolutely.
Unless grandma's doing it, in which case it's more of a shave.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 16:30, Reply)
FRUIT SALAD CHEWITS!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 16:19, Reply)
I cannot be bothered to go for a run tonight
It'll have to wait until Thursday

IT'S TOO HOT!
*flaps hands in front of face ineffectually*
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 16:20, Reply)
Swimming tonight, again.
I hate exercise.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 16:26, Reply)
Excercise is for the terminally vain and beasts of the field

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 17:08, Reply)
You don't get the same free gym access that you did in your old job then?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 17:22, Reply)
Spreadsheet warrior^

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 17:27, Reply)
alright pricks

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 17:03, Reply)
I've been better

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 17:19, Reply)
Ignore these miserable pricks, it's a lovely sunny day and I have gin.
Alright Nakers
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 17:21, Reply)
Nice, I also have gin, but felt pretty jaded this morning after drinking all day Saturday and Sunday
How's your cunt?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 17:26, Reply)
Moist.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 17:28, Reply)
Alright goggleprick

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 17:42, Reply)
Alright bald prick?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 17:48, Reply)
clearly he hates you.....

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 18:01, Reply)

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