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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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What is so good about Tuesday anyway?Favourite day of the week ,favourite month?

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:38, 183 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
What are you, five years old or something?
What's your favourite colour?
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:39, Reply)
anything illuminous

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:41, Reply)
typical illuminati

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:43, Reply)
Yellow.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:44, Reply)
Camouflage, clear, black and mirror.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:11, Reply)
living

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 12:31, Reply)
tuesday is a bit of a meh day
it's wednesdays i dislike. all my shit lessons at school were on a wednesday, and it never improved.

i like november. you can go to cosy pubs and sit in front of fireplaces and kick leaves around and wear snuggly jumpers and the holidays are coming. plus birthday.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:40, Reply)
its nice to sit in front of a real fire and have the flames illuminate the room creating a lovely warm atmosphere

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:42, Reply)
\0/ real fires are ace, well worth the fucking about.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:46, Reply)
I do love my wood burner

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:53, Reply)
I "acquired" 250' of fence from our neighbours when they replaced theirs
I have started the chopping process
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:55, Reply)
Wood burner 5's

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:57, Reply)
Fucking great innit?!
I've had to build a 3rd woodstore to hold it all
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:00, Reply)
When we moved in the previous owner had left loads of wooden furniture
bunk beds and the like all decent wood all chopped up and stored, still have the last bits in the cellar
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:35, Reply)
fuck about from my real fires

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 12:33, Reply)
I hate fireplaces, they suck up room space, create pointless focal points, other heating is better.
I like multi-fuel burners but not if they become fireplaces.

The only time a fireplace acceptable is if the room is over 200 square metres.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 13:47, Reply)
Wacaday

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:44, Reply)
Tuesday means that Monday is out of the fucking way.
It's not quite as good as Wednesday, which symbolises mid-week, not quite as good as Thursday, which means that you're well clear of the mid-point and Friday is of course a fantastic day for those of us who have proper jobs and avoid working Saturdays. Saturday is the best day, Sunday is just behind it in the excellence stakes.

In rank order, from worst day to best: -

Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Sunday
Saturday

What a fucking stupid thread.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:48, Reply)
if you don't like it, vote with your words,
and DYAAKY
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:50, Reply)
I'm trying to get a bit of conversation going.
Doc is setting a fucking summertime primary school homework assignment.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:51, Reply)
i know, it's tragic.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:54, Reply)
Glad you approve.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:52, Reply)
Literally nothing
Saturday
July
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:49, Reply)
i liek fribays

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:54, Reply)
TGI^

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:54, Reply)
Today's Tuesday will involve free wine and beer
I also now have 3 asking price offers on my house, one from a 1st time buyer who is ready to go.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:54, Reply)
Shout it out

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:59, Reply)
*stands on rooftops*
Sunderland used to run out to that tune, fact fans
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:00, Reply)
Lame Moments in Pop #56
The bit in that song where Saffron off of Republica does the sort of half spoken "Shout it out" bit in the middle
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:06, Reply)
cor!

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:12, Reply)
Good tune though

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:13, Reply)
No it isn't.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:13, Reply)
we could be brothers or sutin

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:14, Reply)
The riff is very catchy

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:15, Reply)
AIDS is very catchy, I still don't want it.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:16, Reply)
so you're saying your album doesn't have any catchy riffs

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:29, Reply)
Am I?

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:40, Reply)
OK so which one of the offerees has the most attractive partner
Also you have to let your missus choose a go on the most attractive male (or female if you are lucky) then its just a case of which "team" goes furthest.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:05, Reply)
I LEIK SATRUDAYS AND I LIKE AUGUST AND I LIKE CHOCCYU BICCIES
OMNOMNOM SAMMICHSES AND NYOMMY CAYKE
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:57, Reply)
I ALSO LEIK KITTUMS AND THE COLOUR BLOO AND PUPPIES AND MY TEDDY BEAR

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:58, Reply)
I sincerely hope you won't have any time for this place once you take over that pub.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 10:59, Reply)
'Member when you used to tell all new people to fuck off when they first posted?
Why didn't you do that with SBT?
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:00, Reply)
Good point.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:04, Reply)

SBT yourself
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:11, Reply)
It was all "Fuck off, Bert" when I started posting
'Member those days? Fuck off Bert lol
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:13, Reply)
Course, nowadays we'd all welcome a bit of Bert having breakdowns and all that

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:16, Reply)
Are you the bert that came over as abit of a creepy nonce?

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:19, Reply)
i used to post more when i was at the pub,
but that's because i mostly worked evenings when it was busy.
I imagine frog will be doing all the nice day shifts while the minimum wage staff make up the deficit in their earnings by drinking all the beer and snacks when he pops off home at 9.30 to get a rest. so he won't be here.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:23, Reply)
No, but the good doctor's pub is going to be nice and quiet, with a few cheery locals
and everybody's going to be happy with the ambience. There won't be any of that nasty gastro pub food bringing in richer people, but the povvos that'll be happy with ham egg and chips will all be salt of the earth types. Definitely not hard drinking chavs.

In the midst of all this quiet charm, doc will be making a comfortable living, somehow.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:29, Reply)
i look forward to the first time someone gets drunk and he has to ask them to leave.
or the first stag do that roles in on their "weekend in the country tour"
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:30, Reply)
He'll be staring out of his sepia tinted windows on a quiet Saturday night
just wishing a fight would give him something to watch.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:32, Reply)
wtf? im not working there!

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:30, Reply)

t
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:38, Reply)
i have nothing to do again :(

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:40, Reply)
I know you are I said you are but what am I?

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:16, Reply)
Is the answer
H-A-P-P-Y?
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:17, Reply)
i just had quite a weird conversation with a female nutter who thinks pest control devices are making her ill but i cant be bothered to explain any further
cheers
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:18, Reply)
if she is licking the poison or glue off them she might have a point.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:21, Reply)
its those ultrasound frequency ones or something

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:25, Reply)
well, then she's a fucking twat.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:28, Reply)
she didnt like it when i laughed at her

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:28, Reply)
well, then she should try and stop being such a fucking twat.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:30, Reply)
You should have FINGERED HER TO DEATH.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:22, Reply)
neither of us would have enjoyed that she was a pig

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:26, Reply)
I've never fingered a pig.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:27, Reply)
its just like fingering a bigger cat really

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:28, Reply)
Jimmy
Hill
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:34, Reply)
I've never fingered Jimmy Hill.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:36, Reply)
its just like fingering a bigger jimmy krankie really

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:36, Reply)
*shudders*

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:37, Reply)
fan dabi dozi

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:43, Reply)
Oh go on

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:23, Reply)
okay she said a security guard at tescos had a stroke and it was caused by it

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:25, Reply)
She probably let his mates have a stroke as well

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:26, Reply)
she looked the sort

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:27, Reply)
Really, /OT? Has it come to this?
*tuts*
Morning.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:23, Reply)
alright

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:23, Reply)
Alright.
How's you? Up to your neck in wedding magazines yet?
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:26, Reply)
nah, he's got dozer as a wedding planner

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:26, Reply)
Well, if Dozer were up to his neck in wedding magazines, that would be at least FOUR magazines.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:27, Reply)
yeah, "pets weekly", "my first hamster", "pets at home" catalogue and a flyer from the STD clinic about inserting things safely

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:28, Reply)
no,
she seems to have decided that we can't afford a huge extravagant bonanza, but she wants a super dress, so we've come to the decision that a really small ceremony, just a few family somewhere pretty, followed by hiring a pub room somewhere and letting all the extra friends and guests sort themselves out.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:29, Reply)
We did our wedding on the (relatively) cheap.
I got my dress from an auction - £30 for a £900 dress that had been a shop display one. Married on a Wednesday, so we got a beautiful venue for a couple of grand all in. Planned the whole thing in six months.
I never understood these people who plan a £20k wedding and take two years to get there.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:34, Reply)
no, i don't get it either,
i'd have like to just dissapeared, just the 2 of us, but i think lady pig wants a bit more spectacle
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:39, Reply)
Hugely expensive weddings are a bit gauche, to my mind.
Hiring castles and all that. Displays of wealth, or the willingness to spend all your savings and take out loans to to create an approximation of wealth, are pretty vulgar.

Better to be modest and honest, I think
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:42, Reply)
+ closing bridges

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:43, Reply)
*cough* £100k *cough*

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:44, Reply)
Well, yeah.
But then it wasn't his money. I'd probably not complain too loudly in that scenario, either. Mustn't seem an ingrate. I'd be cringing inwardly, however.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:45, Reply)
He fucking loved it and you know he did.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:46, Reply)
Yeah. Inwardly.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:46, Reply)
There might be some visible outward cringing
but I'd pass it off as the shits or something. Wouldn't want to seem vulgar.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:49, Reply)
Why does the groom never get any say?
For most of the weddings I hear about, the bloke acts like all he gets to do is turn up and shut up.
Surely it shouldn't be the sort of day where he suffers to make the bride happy?
Meh, what do I know?
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:49, Reply)
Because if the men got their way
people'd get married online and then she'd shut up and make him a sandwich.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:50, Reply)
From what I can tell
the men want to get married, the women want a wedding.

I didn't make the old fella wear a suit and tie and all that, and he chose most of the music for the day, and we had a pretty good time.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:52, Reply)
woo hoo naked wedding day

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:54, Reply)
woo hoo naked old people

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:54, Reply)
Balls get LOOOooooooong

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 12:11, Reply)
"I'm alright for a sanger actually, love. I am going out with my mates".

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:53, Reply)
Because for most of their lives women are told it will be the best day of their lives
This creates an unrealistic expectation level and the man as someone who only wants his beloved to be happy will take the knocks in order to maintain peace.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:53, Reply)
I got involved with selecting the food & drink. That was all, apart from turning up.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:56, Reply)
I get the impression it was her father's wedding rather than yours.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:56, Reply)
Quite. Given the length of the marriage it was the biggest waste of cash I've witnessed.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 12:01, Reply)
*looks around*
Haven't you seen how much the Royal family costs
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 12:11, Reply)
lots of my friends have found the opposite
it's groomzilla all the way. my friend recently got into the most ridiculous row because she wants 40 people for lunch at petrus and he wants 400 people at the hurlingham club. it ended with him screaming, "and there'll be a DISCO and i'm going to DANCE with my FRIENDS", to which she said, "you're fucking gay" and hung up on him.

lol.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 12:04, Reply)
Hahahahha!

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 12:05, Reply)
Was she marrying Darth?

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 12:05, Reply)
she's got her way in the end
phew
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 12:13, Reply)
From what you described above
It seems more likely that he will be getting it in the end
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 12:20, Reply)
if i ever got married, i'd take what it would cost
and spend the lot on taking favourite friends and family to the caribbean for a week.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:44, Reply)
I wouldn't go.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:46, Reply)
Neither would I

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:46, Reply)
+ be invited

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 12:01, Reply)

go be invited
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 12:00, Reply)
get married on a beach...
www.couplesresorts.co.uk/our-resorts/couples-swept-away/
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:46, Reply)
I blame the mods
Morning, b3th.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:23, Reply)
There are no mods, Tangles.
They've all left you to pick each other's corpses.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:25, Reply)
This place does have the whiff of death about it.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:29, Reply)
Couldn't you just edit his post to something a bit more interesting?

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:30, Reply)
Fucking shit, isn't it.
It's an embarrassment.

Nice to see you back on for a bit.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:31, Reply)
Bonjour, and that.
I do miss the place from time to time.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:35, Reply)
crap
i can't stop sneezing, and i wondered if it was the cayenne pepper i'd sprinkled on my raw nuts to make them a bit more interesting. so i googled "cayenne pepper makes me sneeze" and clicked on the first link without looking.

blocked for porn. our filter is stupidly sensitive, but when i backed up to google, fucking hell, i could see from the extract that i had actually clicked on a sexual fetish site this time. for sneezing. with people giving tips on how to trigger it.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE????????????????????
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:37, Reply)
I know!
Putting cayenne pepper on raw nuts!

I fucking despair.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:40, Reply)
it makes them interesting!!!
if you can't have them all deliciously roasted in oil and covered in salt, you have to do SOMETHING with the little cunts.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:43, Reply)
What's wrong with the taste of nuts?
This is like those people who can't drink water because it doesn't of anything. It tastes of water!
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:44, Reply)
the spice enhances the flavour of the nuts

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:45, Reply)
Ssshh. Love.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:45, Reply)
you answer your fucking gazzes, you great lumbering oaf

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 12:03, Reply)
Good Girl


Oh just read the thread back... nevermind
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:52, Reply)
Well, I don't know about you girls, but I prefer black pepper on *my* bollocks.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:43, Reply)
I prefer small children on my cock.
Or large pets.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:45, Reply)
Anything that can't run too fast.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:50, Reply)
a startled Oscar Pistorius?

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 13:12, Reply)
I was up all night coughing :(
so I'm having the day off to catch up on sleep, except the cleaner comes today and I don't know when so sprawled naked and snoring on top of the covers is out.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:54, Reply)
God you bleat about sickness even more than I do.
I'm rarely in a position to tell anybody to mtfu, so I'm going to take the opportunity when it arises.

MTFU
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:56, Reply)
Here, this might cheer you up
http://www.dumpaday.com/random-pictures/funny-pictures/turns-maturity-level-teenage-boy-30-pics/
Turns out, I have the maturity level of a teenage boy, too.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 11:58, Reply)
that's just right for my current lack of mental function

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 12:14, Reply)
Just ordered some bangin' speakers for the motor, boss.
I need a well wicked sub, an amp and then I can float the 'ole fing on a clard 'a neon.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 12:57, Reply)
fucking online shopping
the budgie's hanging basket just arrived. it's bigger than 10 budgies. it's like frog buying me flowers that are 6' tall.

fucking hopeless.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 13:00, Reply)
Dont buy useless shit then

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 13:03, Reply)
It isn't, because that would make you 7.2 inches tall.
In order for this to work the flowers would need to be about 54' tall
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 13:06, Reply)
Today Clive Anderson was walking a dog and carrying a gladstone bag. His shirt was worn in 'shirt sleeve order'. No 'discman' today though.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 13:02, Reply)
I've sat behing him at the football a few times.
He's alright.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 13:06, Reply)
bit gay m8

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 13:12, Reply)
He is a bit.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 13:17, Reply)
Have we got to the bottom of which is the best day/month yet?

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 13:08, Reply)
The doctor has been noticeably absent from his own thread.
I don't know now if we'll ever get an official decision.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 13:14, Reply)
He posted his usual bewildering stuff, this time about the 'firewhace' in his pub (or similar), deleted it then went away.
I hope he's okay
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 13:15, Reply)
I'm glad it has a fireplace.
It makes the inevitable insurance job more believable.
(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 13:21, Reply)
It really doesn't.

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 13:23, Reply)
June 28th 1914

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 13:14, Reply)
Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 13:20, Reply)
Are you on the verge of a diabetic coma

(, Tue 22 Jul 2014, 13:38, Reply)

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