OK Chaps
If no one would find out would you fuck Katie Price?
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 15:56, 10 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Yes
I'd fuck her even if people could find out.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 15:59, Reply)

I wooden care if anyone did or not tbh, dawg.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 15:59, Reply)

I would not

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:00, Reply)

More than enough large-breasted, screeching harridans in your life, eh?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:11, Reply)

this is why replies etc

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:14, Reply)

I have pondered this and I agree with you Mr. Snake
I just don't think I could, it is a similar thing to Madonna (back in the day before she had arms like a scaffolder)
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:19, Reply)

You'd have to move her nuts out of the way first

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:20, Reply)

*bokes*

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:26, Reply)

Newton's Gaydle

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:27, Reply)

It wasn't a difficult decision

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:32, Reply)

Apart from anything else I dont think I would touch the sides

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:33, Reply)

Yeah, I'd have a go
as long as she promised not to speak
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:05, Reply)

yep

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:09, Reply)

This would be quite tricky.
She would have to remain completely silent. Even then I'm not sure I could achieve the requisite wood whilst looking at her vacant coupon*.

*Number 76 in the series "Fister teaches you southern nancies some Scots' words". Coupon: (dismissive) face, e.g. "ye should hae seen the nick o' her coupon when ah' wiped my boabie on her curtains".
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:14, Reply)

Edinburgh dialect is funny.
It's all doric where I'm from.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:15, Reply)

Columnbo

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:16, Reply)

Furryboots?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:22, Reply)

Aberdeen.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:23, Reply)

Aye Doric is pretty brutal.
I could just about follow Trawlermen (or whatever it was called) without the subtitles.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:27, Reply)

Alas

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:30, Reply)

Nothing for this
You bunch of heathens
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:58, Reply)

It's such a beautiful language

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:16, Reply)

We're dreamers and romantics up here Tangers.
"Brace yersel hen ahm goan in dry"
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:21, Reply)

lol shitland

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:38, Reply)

^passes for humour in Wythenshawe^

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:42, Reply)

i wouldn't know
i only go there to catch planes.

lol shitland.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:43, Reply)

Manchester airport's just over the fence love.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:45, Reply)

you seem to know a lot about it
but then again, i guess wythey looks like knightsbridge if you live in shitland
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:54, Reply)

Edinburgh house prices are higher than most - even south of the border
Being an estate agent I'd have thought you'd have known that.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 17:10, Reply)

you can try your best to roll it in glitter
but it's still a great big stinking turd
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 17:12, Reply)

^^Never been and doesn't know what she's talking about^^

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 17:16, Reply)

^^Has been to London and can confirm that it's a stinking cesspit of orangutans and toothless pakis^^

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 17:17, Reply)

lol shitland's white knight on his shitty brown horse

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 17:19, Reply)

Turn her over
Problem solved
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:19, Reply)

Will it all be equally orange?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:22, Reply)

Too orangy for cows

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:22, Reply)

How do you get face from coupon?
interested not mocking
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:22, Reply)

Oh and Coupon isnt a scotch word
Its is derived from old French
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:28, Reply)

And Scotch is a drink.
Your point caller?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:30, Reply)

That Scots get annoyed really quickly when you call them Scotch

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:31, Reply)

My point is that you said "teachs some Scots words"
And it comes from the old French "to cut" you could have said Scots usage of words or slang.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:33, Reply)

A Scots' word = a word used as part of the Scots language
Try not to overthink it old boy.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:35, Reply)

I may have over thought it down there Soz

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:42, Reply)

As do Cumbrians if you call them Scumbrians, so I've discovered.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:34, Reply)

hahahaha
I am going to use that
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:35, Reply)

I was brought up in Dumfries and spent a couple of summers working in Carlisle
which is like fucking New York if you come from Shitehaven.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:37, Reply)

I've got absolutely no idea Bonzers
It's just the local lingo, innit?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:29, Reply)

Edinburgh isnt scotland though mate
I have been trying to figure it -coupon book = look - maybe
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:31, Reply)

AHL MARK YOUR FUGGIN COUPON IN A MINUTE SONNY

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:32, Reply)

^^TGGI

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:38, Reply)

Looks it's not fucking cock-er-knee rhyming slang
Don't try to fucking understand it, FFS.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:34, Reply)

It must have an etymology though

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:35, Reply)

Ok then, tell me where BAWBAG and CUNTYBAWSACKS comes from then Dr fucking Johnson?
*straightens tie*
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:36, Reply)

bawbag
is ballbag said by someone with a speech impediment, aka scottish accent
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:39, Reply)

Coming from someone who I imagine speaking like the 3rd Gallagher brother, this is fucking priceless.
SUNSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEE
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:43, Reply)

you do know there is a third gallagher brother already, don't you?
but no, wrong. i learned to speak in yorkshire, so sounded like a farmer, then we moved to buckinghamshire when i was 4. and overnight i turned into the queen, because the other little girls at school were shocked when i said "plum" like a northerner.

something to help you with those lonely late night wank fests.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:53, Reply)

tl;dr - I was mercilessly bullied and had to change to blend in with all the other brats.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 17:12, Reply)

it was the most middle class bullying ever
"the new girl in our class says PLUM"

"no she doesn't"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 17:12, Reply)

CRUEL HEARTLESS BITCHES

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 17:15, Reply)

i got much worse bullying when i moved up north again, years later
teachers always made me read everything out loud because they liked the accent.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 17:18, Reply)

They made you read?
That's the fucking worst bullying I've ever heard of. How on earth did they get away with it?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 17:22, Reply)

i was only 18
*sob*
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 17:31, Reply)

Baw is clearly the droning voice of the ill educated trying to say Ball
Ball bag becomes BAWBAG when said by chavs (Or Ned as I believe you chaps call them) Ball Bag has been used for many years to describe a mans testes,

CUNTYBAWSACKS will have the same origin except that sack has transposed Bag and Cunty- a derivation of the old English Quint to describe a vagina and that has then been turned into a portmanteau...


*DROPS THE MIKE*
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:41, Reply)

it only took me one sentence to say this

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:42, Reply)

^ Shit Lawyer^

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:44, Reply)

boss??

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:53, Reply)

RUMBLED
Always use 12 sentences when 1 will do that's day 1 of lawyer school
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:57, Reply)

yes, if you went in 1840
you wouldn't get very far these days if you are working to a fixed fee or having to justify your time to the court.

stick to computers, there's a good lad.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:58, Reply)

^works for a shit law firm that isnt good enough to charge exorbitant prices^

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 17:02, Reply)

you get what you pay for
anyone who thinks the fees are "exorbitant" is welcome to go to a smaller, shittier firm. and drown in their own bitterness and lack of success.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 17:04, Reply)

Bit like hookers innit
do you drop £2k on a tasty one or just have a crywank
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 17:06, Reply)

You pay more an hour to get access to PI insurance with bigger limits.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 17:07, Reply)

typical insurers... making a fortune out of the competent...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 17:09, Reply)

Brevity is the soul of wit.
Usually.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:44, Reply)

PSYCHE

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:44, Reply)

I imagine it'd be like sticking your cock into a soggy carrier bag.
So, yes.
( Muns, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:16, Reply)

She's seen more helmets than Nuremberg so I'd imagine she'd be quite the expert

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:18, Reply)

I bet her arsehole looks in a better condition than her minge at this time of her life.

( Muns, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:21, Reply)

Terribly bullying of Peter Andre

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:21, Reply)

All bullying of Peter Andre is entirely acceptable.

( Muns, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:23, Reply)

I doubt it
She fears coughing as she has no tension left back there
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:27, Reply)

Have you seen the icebucketchallenge bloke who fudged his drawers?
He's in his back garden with just a pair of white shorts on, with swimming goggles and armbands.

"Dad, you've fucking shat yourself"

Absolutely fucking brilliant.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:32, Reply)

link a brother up.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:33, Reply)

I can't get onto FB on my work PC. I'll gaz you l8rz

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:40, Reply)

I think its a fake
as he seems to back into the chair before
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:34, Reply)

Entirely possible, but it was funny as fuck. My 2 were in hysterics
You cannae beat a good jobbie joke.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:40, Reply)

OACH MA BOAB

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:40, Reply)

Are you still saying that whilst sounding like Jimmy Nail?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:46, Reply)

I sound more like George Clark than Jimmy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:47, Reply)

This man has read Strontium Dog^

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:59, Reply)

Yeah', but not without a jonny. I dont' wanna be paying mantainance on a spacker.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:26, Reply)

No.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:38, Reply)

No I would not.
I would risk being beaten up by Scientologists for a go on Katie Holmes, though.
( Kroney, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 16:50, Reply)