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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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JTDF Birthday Thread
In honour of Jeff's birthday, tell the world of your best and worst birthdays, presents, parties, cards, days, etc....
Alt:
Work woes
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:01,
145 replies,
latest was 10 years ago)
Alt: I have no work woes coz I'm leaving!
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:03,
Reply)
You must have had some to leave
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:03,
Reply)
Contractor, in'ee
And, like all contractors, he is necessarily a committed paedophile.
(
Kroney, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:07,
Reply)
GO HARD OR GO HOME
No, thats not right
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:08,
Reply)
I'm in a grump with him after he suggested on Twitter this morning
that Ross from Friends could beat me up.
(
Kroney, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:12,
Reply)
Thanks
FRIENDS
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:14,
Reply)
Because you were being a curmudgeon
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:52,
Reply)
Friends is shit and I want them to shut up with their whining
Also, obviously I was being a curmudgeon, that is what I am.
(
Kroney, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:01,
Reply)
My birthday last tuesday was pretty uneventful.
I was suffering from a mixture of ill and hangover so had my tea and went to bed.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:03,
Reply)
Thats pretty shit
Have another night out
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:04,
Reply)
Oh, I will.
There's an Oktoberfest celebration in a giant marquee this weekend. Going to take a halfer on Friday and go to that.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:14,
Reply)
Quite simply an excellent plan
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:21,
Reply)
My next birthday will be my best one as I'm getting two pet turtles.
Alt: Oh God, I wouldn't know where to start, just leave it yeah?
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:06,
Reply)
get four.
and a rat.
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Peej, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:07,
Reply)
I don't like rats.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:09,
Reply)
If you don't get the rat who will teach the turtles how to fight?
(
Peej, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:11,
Reply)
I don't want them to fight, I just want them to swim about in a tank looking cool, I'm easily pleased.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:12,
Reply)
Then how will they protect themselves against the warthog and rhino?
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Peej, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:18,
Reply)
Just keep them upstairs innit, warthogs and rhinos, like gays and albinos can't go upstairs.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:20,
Reply)
You're confusing stair climbing with whistling.
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Peej, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:24,
Reply)
Nerd
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:13,
Reply)
Told the missus she looked like a turtle last night.
Surprisingly, she didn't appreciate the comparison. Women, amirite?
(
Kroney, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:08,
Reply)
They always look for the negatives.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:09,
Reply)
Turtley, dude
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:10,
Reply)
She was FLIPPIN' MAD
(
Kroney, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:11,
Reply)
Shell calm down soon, dont worry
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:11,
Reply)
What are their names gonna be?
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:12,
Reply)
I don't know, maybe Nigel and Paul or something.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:13,
Reply)
My brothers cat is called Nigel.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:14,
Reply)
My mates dog is called Oliver.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:15,
Reply)
It was my birthday last week
it was shit
Alt. Work is shit
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Peej, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:07,
Reply)
This year I got a 59 reissue Les Paul
best. birthday. ever.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:07,
Reply)
When I was 10 my grandad died on my birthday
not so good, that one
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:08,
Reply)
Sorry for your loss.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:11,
Reply)
I barely knew him to be honest
it was more that other people around me were upset.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:15,
Reply)
Sorry for their loss.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:17,
Reply)
cheers hun
Anyway, you alright?
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:20,
Reply)
Yeah, having a great time mooching around a RAF base.
Plus got the kitchen finished. It looks tip top.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:22,
Reply)
Nice
What base? Not Thorny Island, by any chance?
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:23,
Reply)
No, Brize.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:24,
Reply)
Ah ok
What takes you there? Work?
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:27,
Reply)
No Brizes for guessing!
Haha get it?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:42,
Reply)
That's Nort-on
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:53,
Reply)
Did he manage to give you your present first though?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:11,
Reply)
Yeah, it was clothes
that's why I killed him
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:12,
Reply)
Too right, should have got you the board game 'I VANT TO BITE YOUR FINGER'
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:14,
Reply)
lol
If I don't get Ghost Castle this year, Imma cut some cunt up
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:16,
Reply)
I want Ghost Castle too, and Kong Man, and I'm sulking for weeks if it doesn't happen.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:17,
Reply)
Proportionate and fair.
No child likes to receive a 'practical' birthday present.
I was given an electric razor for my 16th birthday by my parents. A fucking razor.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:16,
Reply)
Is that because you were a hairy goat boy?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:17,
Reply)
officelolling hard
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:21,
Reply)
It was intended for use on his palms.
(
Kroney, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:23,
Reply)
I was more of a bumfluffy goat boy back then
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:31,
Reply)
haha awww
thing is, your folks probably felt dead proud of you for that. Our little boy and all that.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:20,
Reply)
All in all it was a pretty shit birthday.
Of my three closest friends, one had stopped being my friend because he had a girlfriend now; one was away on holiday and the other had been grounded and wasn't allowed to come out with me.
But none of that stopped my from going to the Groovy Garden at the Tic Toc and dancing my skinny arse off all night.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:30,
Reply)
This should probably have been my answer to the main question.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:33,
Reply)
Chicks man, am I right?
But hey, you got to boogie. And isn't that what it's all about?
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:33,
Reply)
I thought the hokey-cokey was what it was all about?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:41,
Reply)
I assumed that was the dance you were doing
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:57,
Reply)
electric razors are shit
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:24,
Reply)
^^^
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:31,
Reply)
Fucking hell, really?
WOO!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:09,
Reply)
Yeah
2014 spec, Iced Tea burst, fucking beautiful
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:13,
Reply)
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2373977
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:14,
Reply)
I have a picture of it here
but b3tards isn't working. What do I do?
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:19,
Reply)
Use photobucket or imgur or something
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:20,
Reply)
Wow, that was easy
imgur.com/mq4V7eJ
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:21,
Reply)
I think I've just cum
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:25,
Reply)
The down side is that I've had to be really nice to my wife ever since
It's barely worth it, to be honest
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:27,
Reply)
Less talking, more playing
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:27,
Reply)
At 65 years old, the Ru Paul tribute act is surprisingly popular in southern Hampshire.
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Kroney, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:09,
Reply)
Shut up Jaysum
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:10,
Reply)
Thread over - TH wins
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:11,
Reply)
'Member Eugenius?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=0g1f9fcEQ4k
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:13,
Reply)
I don't
but that's pretty cool
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:14,
Reply)
yes.
Used to be called Captain America.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:24,
Reply)
Worst birthday was my 20th that I spent on my own, in my room above a pub,
9 cans of export Guinness and a kebab. Good times.
Alt: No woes great job here, heard some official secrets today about ongoing action in Iraq and Syria. Signed a form and all sorts.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:10,
Reply)
Tell the boys about the military stuff. We'll keep it between ourselves?
Daughters birthday next month, might get her a budgie.
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DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:14,
Reply)
I'm starting to spec out my first entirely new PC in about four years.
I'm so excited I keep banging my erection on my desk leg.
(
Kroney, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:10,
Reply)
Nerd.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:12,
Reply)
We can't all be uber-cool guitarists.
Restrung my Takamine for the first time in a clear decade though, the other day.
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Kroney, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:13,
Reply)
Ten years between restrings?!
I wish! Even with coated strings mine only last about 3 months with home use - or one gig - especially if the acid-fingered git that is Pooflake plays them.
(
Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:19,
Reply)
That's because I leave gaps of a decade between strums.
(
Kroney, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:20,
Reply)
Then keep your strings slackened off until you strum* - the guitar's neck will thank you for it
*Fnaaar
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Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:29,
Reply)
Do you sit straddling the desk leg, like an amorous collie?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:13,
Reply)
I do a lot of turning around.
(
Kroney, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:13,
Reply)
Every now and then?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:13,
Reply)
Buy a PS4
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Peej, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:13,
Reply)
Come on, Peej, don't be a prick.
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Kroney, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:18,
Reply)
PS4 is da best!
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Peej, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:23,
Reply)
^prick
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Kroney, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:24,
Reply)
xbox is for gayz
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Peej, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:26,
Reply)
Serious answer
I'd really like to do this. I've been scrounging up parts from work for the last few years and have a pretty good spec. Dual Quad core Xeons, Pair of Crossfired HD5770's 16gb RAM etc etc but it would be lovely to start one from scratch and not have to scrimp in any area. Trouble is the graphics card I picked out costs almost 500 quid on its own.
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Peej, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:31,
Reply)
Yeah but imagine all the high-end gaming you could do with that
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:37,
Reply)
I would need to do at least 10-12 high end gaming to justify it.
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Peej, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:38,
Reply)
I could probably make do with a newer GPU
But then it'll bottleneck at the RAM and that's ddr2, so to update that I'll have to do the motherboard, which means a new chip. Fucking snowballing cunt.
(
Kroney, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:44,
Reply)
YEAH, THiS^
Fucking computers *shakes head*
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:27,
Reply)
I built a quick-ish one about 3 years ago or so and all I've done to it is install about 3 programs.
It's all 'tablet this' and 'mobile that' in Gormo towers these days.
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:32,
Reply)
New Civ spin-off's coming out, innit.
It's about all the gaming I do nowadays.
(
Kroney, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:47,
Reply)
I could never get into Civ, for some reason.
Age of Empires all the way.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:49,
Reply)
Could the reason possibly be because you are neither an acne-ridden, BO-stinking teenage boy, nor a sad, fat neck-beard still living with your parents despite being in your late 20s?
Maybe you should be baking cupcakes or getting into burlesque instead?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:57,
Reply)
Steady on ,I do NOT have a neckbeard.
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Kroney, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:59,
Reply)
I'm ideally suited for either of those pursuits.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:05,
Reply)
G Cup Cakes
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:14,
Reply)
Burlyesque
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:15,
Reply)
Bunga Bunga
(
Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:33,
Reply)
I bought one that was cheap 4 years ago
Amazingly it can still do Internet and store photos!!!
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:26,
Reply)
Most of my childhood birthdays were crap
My mother and I didn't get on.
Alt: Work's pretty good at the moment - Last job was fucking dire. Bit difficult when you're the only non-German in a German company, working as the only guy in the UK and there's a poisonous fucker in the German office dripping bile against you into the MD's ear on a daily basis.
Still, i was very well paid and managed to terrify the poor fucker into a crying fit when I left.
Happy days.
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Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:12,
Reply)
'German office employee reports accurately on UK based work to rule Bolshevik.' Or 'Man surprised at having to find another job yet again'. They both kindof write themselves really.
(
Mr Udagawa, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:31,
Reply)
Oh come on!
19 minutes to get this one in? You're slacking (not as much as me though)
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Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:33,
Reply)
Happy birthday, Jeffers old fruit.
Alt: the only woe with my awesome job is that doesn't pay a fair wage. Still, that's what you get for working in a supermarket, I guess.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:41,
Reply)
I thought you were a drug dealer?
Not a till monkey
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:20,
Reply)
Are you aware that many supermarkets have pharmacies in them now?
In fact, didn't you arrange for them to be there in order to meet the precise needs of the customers?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:24,
Reply)
I just hope that clubcard users were at the very heart of the strategy
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:28,
Reply)
My 21st was amazing
Nice meal with parents, pub golf, fantastic day, woke up with no hangover the next day. It then was topped off with my family meal a week later, had an absolutely beautiful steak dinner.
My 25th was shit, due to me being so hungover that I could barely keep food down all day, let alone drink.
Alt: I'm here, that's bad enough.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:46,
Reply)
You're the Liam Gallagher of the business card admin world mate.
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Mr Udagawa, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 10:52,
Reply)
mate sunsheeeiyyyyyne
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:06,
Reply)
I've just ordered some feed and return hoses
for my car's heater!!! :D
(
Kroney, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:03,
Reply)
YESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:06,
Reply)
*fist pump*
(
Kroney, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:10,
Reply)
I fed my hose up YMs return last night
or something
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:21,
Reply)
Best would be 13th or 14th (cant remember which) when I had my first proper introduction to the orals
Alt: just bored but busy.
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:06,
Reply)
+ and he is still my favourite uncle to this day
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:12,
Reply)
+ took me days to rinse the taste out
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Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:13,
Reply)
AND RIGHTLY SO!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:14,
Reply)
I has a new bottle of whisky to look forward to on my birthday.
Aberlour a'bunadh batch 48, which is meant to be rather nice.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:32,
Reply)
Bottled by cthulhu, right?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:33,
Reply)
he's the only one with the necessary tentacles, yes
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 12:05,
Reply)
I liked the batch 47
so it should be good.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 12:16,
Reply)
It's my 40th and our 10th wedding anniversary next year, my wife wants to do something special. I really can't be arsed to tell the truth.
I'm up for something for the anniversary but bollocks to the birthday. #midlifecrisis
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DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:34,
Reply)
Its my 40th soon
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:35,
Reply)
Have you considered murder suicide?
#murdersuicide
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:36,
Reply)
Just option A
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:37,
Reply)
Would you go in all guns blazing or sat atop a building picking off people who have wronged you from a list?
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Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:41,
Reply)
I think the considered sniper approach would bring the best results
Turning people's heads into pink mist and all that
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:44,
Reply)
An interesting theory.
I might have to watch
Falling Down again now.
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:46,
Reply)
Your head is like lettuce?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:37,
Reply)
![](http://i3.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article800547.ece/alternates/s615/Police-E-Fit-of-a-burglary-suspect-with-bright-green-lettuce-hair.png)
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 23 Sep 2014, 11:47,
Reply)
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