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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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is that shit still going?
what have you dragged out for too long?

alt: what is the correct way to eat an easter egg or chocolate santa? bite or smash?

altalt: would you trust a b3tan teach you anything? who and what?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:24, 223 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
typical girl question

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:26, Reply)
WHICH ONE, THERE'S 3
TYPICAL INSURER, CAN'T COUNT
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:27, Reply)
6. spanner.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:28, Reply)
where did i say i could count?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:37, Reply)
altalt: Yes. Any of them. How to be a shut in.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:27, Reply)
I'll have been married for ten years in January.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:28, Reply)
The 8th

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:29, Reply)
MY BIRTHDAY

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:29, Reply)
DOUBLE PARTY AT COVENTRY WORKING MEN'S CLUB!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:30, Reply)
Double? I'm sure Tangles would prefer it to be.....
...JOINT!!!
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:37, Reply)

🚬
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:39, Reply)
Dingdingdingding!! YOU FOUND THE MAGIC WORD OF THE DAY.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:39, Reply)
YESSSSSSSSSSS!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:42, Reply)
You get one free week access to b3ta gold membership.
[message only available to b3ta gold members]
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:44, Reply)
*Plays Baker street solo on kazoo*

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:43, Reply)
RIP richard whitely alwrz in r harts :( :(

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:04, Reply)
And when are you planning to tell her about us.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:32, Reply)
She wouldn't understand

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:36, Reply)
She is quite thick

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:38, Reply)
Ive not been in drag since 2009
alt. Biting leads to smashing. Those things aren't stable.
altalt. Boyce - The Nazis
and maybe some IT stuff from some of you. Not from ape though.
legal advice - You
what not to wear - Dozer.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:29, Reply)
Pics pls.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:30, Reply)
Like I would ever share that on here.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:13, Reply)
S'ok, I found one

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:25, Reply)
Our relationship!!!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:29, Reply)
meatsnake
putting the comedy into comedy website b3ta since...

well, NEVER.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:38, Reply)
bit harsh

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:40, Reply)
rachelswipe
changing locks on the half flat since Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:29
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:40, Reply)
you think he has a key?
he has to wait outside the gates until i come home.

which is usually after midnight.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:50, Reply)
I have printed our etickets, so they're actual tickets now

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:42, Reply)
Two words
Tip

Ex
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:43, Reply)
5 words: meatsnakes card required for authorisation

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:46, Reply)
don't forget to carry id for when you get carded.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:51, Reply)
I was asking random people if they knew where to get coke in a nightclub in New York.
I thought I was going to get lucky when one guy went for his pocket.
But he pulled out a police badge.

Truefax
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:54, Reply)
concierge and limo drivers are normally a good start.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:55, Reply)
I try hard not to plan ahead

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:57, Reply)
What, so now I need coke money and limo money?
Fucking hell.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:31, Reply)
You idiot

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:00, Reply)
Then he called you a nonce and you knocked him spark out, yeah?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:04, Reply)
probably a Pepsi drinker

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:08, Reply)
You are going to like that hotel.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:44, Reply)
It looks radical

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:45, Reply)
Cheers.

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:01, Reply)
Cheers

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:04, Reply)
Comedy t-shirt and bum bag

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:29, Reply)
Altalt: I'd get Kroney to teach basic IT skills to Nakers

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:31, Reply)
not sure why you want Krones to top himself

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:33, Reply)
What about a chocolate ostrich egg?
Either way, smash.

Altalt: I'd let Meatsnake teach me how to give a blow job.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:32, Reply)
altalt: lol

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:32, Reply)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:32, Reply)
I'd like Baggenfock to teach me well funny names for farts!!!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:33, Reply)
BUM BURP!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:34, Reply)
HAHA

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:38, Reply)
Windy plops.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:35, Reply)
HAHA

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:38, Reply)
MUFF GUFF!
wait that's not right
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:36, Reply)
HAHA

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:38, Reply)
butt bongos
crunchy frog
mudslapper
trouser trumpet
bratwurst bugle
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:37, Reply)
you have a right laugh don't you

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:37, Reply)
I've never heard any of those before.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:38, Reply)
You will round my house!!
LOL
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:38, Reply)
Are you the most social of your house mates?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:40, Reply)
We're all pretty craazzzy!!!!!
Always pranking. It's a laugh a minute.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:42, Reply)
I bet it takes huge amounts of self control not to kill yourself.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:44, Reply)
I bet at least one of your house mates owns a cape.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:44, Reply)
+ bum bag

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:46, Reply)
LoL. Like we believe you live in a house.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:40, Reply)
he does it's got pebble dashing and everything

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:44, Reply)
for reals?
How do you know all this? Have you been round there?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:45, Reply)
He was on an episode of "Nightmare Neighbours", apparently he'd be shitting through peoples letter boxes

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:47, Reply)
It's the only language those darkies understand.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:48, Reply)
hahahaha

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:50, Reply)
only in the bathroom

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:51, Reply)
The bathroom was cleaned once when they moved in. 3 years ago.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:52, Reply)
NO

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:38, Reply)
BIG EGG

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:39, Reply)
those things are immense
my colleague is in the Q at hotel chocolat every year on the day after easter monday, at about 8.01am. an ostrich egg for £50, bargain.

he says it lasts them for months. i don't believe him.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:39, Reply)
What are you on about?
Ostrich eggs are about the size of a normal easter Egg aren't they?
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:41, Reply)
not this one.
it's the size of a house.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:42, Reply)
Made of chocolate?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:46, Reply)

www.hotelchocolat.com/uk/shop/easter-eggs/large-easter-eggs
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:51, Reply)
give me a nice Hershey Bar any day of the week.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:54, Reply)
All the best chocolate tastes like vomit.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:55, Reply)
it's this sort of deliberately provocative statement that will get us all two years in prison

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:09, Reply)
My last job
alt: who cares?

altalt: I would try and teach the Northerns on here how to behave slightly better than the beasts of the field that they resemble
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:32, Reply)
mine

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:38, Reply)
Pretending that I'm cultivating a beard instead of just being too lazy to shave every day
alt: Smash half the egg to pieces that sit inside the other half. Santa gets an Oberyn style face smushing.

altalt: only if I wanted to learn about misplaced trust
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 12:56, Reply)
Easter eggs and Chocolate Santas are for Children HTH

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:01, Reply)
I still get a selection box at Xmas
and I ask for one of those dairy milk dispensers but the fuckers always forget that one :(
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:02, Reply)
alright joyless

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:08, Reply)
If I want chocolate I'll go and buy some decent chunky dark chocolate, preferably with salt flakes
and not some shitty easter egg.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:18, Reply)
milk or caramel chocolate with sea salt flakes is a thing of beauty
you can shove your dark chocolate up your arse, where it came from
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:20, Reply)
Milk chocolate is for fatties, children and people with fat children.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:22, Reply)
you have shit tastebuds

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:32, Reply)
Says the one that doesn't like the taste of meat.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:37, Reply)
depends whose

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:48, Reply)
typical nordic funsponge

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:10, Reply)
We're always told that the nordic countries always score highly on 'happiness' indexes.
But they always seem such a bunch of boring miserable cunts to me.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:20, Reply)
^nordic^

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:22, Reply)
well I walked into that one didn't I

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:24, Reply)
I'm just a tad irritated I had to do it as it just makes you think I'm all upset at you

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:26, Reply)
that's pretty damning coming from somebody who lives in the dullest depths of the stockbroker commuter belt

(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:24, Reply)
I lived in Finland for a while once. Surrey's a thrill-a-minute in comparison.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:28, Reply)
Finnish people are basically all autistic.
They line individual tables up in bars like desks in a Victorian schoolroom. No socialising. Just drinking.

And their language was clearly invented by a committee of uber-autisms.
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:48, Reply)
I'm not Nordic, what are you on about?

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:20, Reply)
thought you said you were a swede
did you mean a turnip?
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:22, Reply)
...for the books

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:24, Reply)
Lost me boss, I'm a Celt.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:29, Reply)
you claimed to be Swedish yesterday as an excuse for being shit at English
you want to talk to somebody about your short term memory loss, it could be a side effect of the anti depressants you're probably taking
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:36, Reply)
No idea what you're on about
do you have any screen grabs or anything?
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:40, Reply)
Hypothesis: you just deleted your posts from yesterday
Corollary: you expected anybody else to care enough to go looking

Conclusion: ahahahaupsetontheinternetlulz
(old man river possible lesbian, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:50, Reply)
You wot mate?

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:55, Reply)
You've got this wrong.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:56, Reply)
It's spelled 'cunt'

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:38, Reply)
I like chocolate.
Dozer likes children.

Take from that what you will.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:14, Reply)
He likes abusing them.
He doesn't actually 'like' children.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:17, Reply)
CEOP closing in on baggenfick

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:50, Reply)
Yer
Lunch. I cannot stop eating

Alt:
Headbutt

AltAlt:
I'd trust you all with my life
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:03, Reply)
Well, that's Xmas presents sorted.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:51, Reply)
What did you get me?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:51, Reply)
3 licks on my shaft.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:55, Reply)
You got me that last year

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:56, Reply)
That totals 6, I can squirt in your mouth now.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:57, Reply)
Will never get to return to Rome^

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:59, Reply)
Is that an obscure 3 coins in the fountain reference?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 14:00, Reply)
It was...
I was mildly pleased with it,
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 14:04, Reply)
don't get cocky, kid.
#starwars
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 14:09, Reply)
*waits*

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:54, Reply)
*holds breath*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:55, Reply)
*dies*

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:57, Reply)
I would swap the easter egg or chocolate santa for some cheese and biscuits or a pork pie as chocolate is a bit shit really.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:53, Reply)
I made some chutney at the weekend
It is rather NOM
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:55, Reply)
chutters

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:56, Reply)
Green tomato chutters at that

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:56, Reply)
Ainsley?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:58, Reply)
I am a prick with a fork, yes
No, for the recipe I just had a google about then changed it totally
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:59, Reply)
Are you eating ice cream? How lovely

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 14:01, Reply)
haha!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 14:02, Reply)
>:(

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 14:08, Reply)
OfficeGuffaw

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 21 Oct 2014, 14:21, Reply)
Have you tried this?
www.amazon.co.uk/Bacon-Jam-Smoky-Sticky-Relish/dp/B00IF8KCH0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1413896289&sr=8-1&keywords=bacon+jam
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 13:58, Reply)
I have not but now I have sorted MY xmas presents

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 14:00, Reply)
Something something YM My sticky relish something

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 14:06, Reply)
NEW THREAD!
GO AND PLAY WITH GJ!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 14:08, Reply)

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