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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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mmmmmmorning!

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 7:40, 167 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
hi mate

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 7:51, Reply)
Hi dozers

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 7:58, Reply)
yes mate
Only two weeks until payday!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 8:02, Reply)
I NO RITE

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 8:04, Reply)
!gninrommmmmm

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Dec 2014, 7:54, Reply)
pindy wig

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 7:58, Reply)
mr horrible
up yours, dickface, Fri 5 Dec 2014
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Dec 2014, 8:01, Reply)
No, you

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 8:02, Reply)
Wind your neck in.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Dec 2014, 8:07, Reply)
How do I do that?

(I helped save b3ta! mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 8:08, Reply)
I really should watch some of those films you know
I haven't watched the Jimi film or the James Brown film or THE BOXTROLLS!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 8:04, Reply)
Imma buy a massive chrimbo tree today and drench it in a tasteless pile of sparkly twinkly shit

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 8:16, Reply)
nice choice mate

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 8:18, Reply)
gonna let the kids help so that 90% of the sparkly crap is around the bottom four feet feet of the tree

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 8:20, Reply)
Don't forgot!

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 8:51, Reply)
I don't get this in-joke so I'm going to nod and laugh politely.

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:01, Reply)
Kroney hates tinsel so much he feel a need to let a bunch of shut ins know.
Bit like Monty and ethnics
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:07, Reply)
FUCKING TINSEL

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:13, Reply)
TINSEL FUCK YEAH AND LAMETTA AND LOADS OF GLITTERY BAUBLES
And the traditional Christmas giraffes
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:16, Reply)
Tinsel is bad, lametta is even FUCKING WORSE.
Thankfully it seems to have keeled over and carked it back in 1986. However, I still can't watch The Poseidon Adventure without being proper fucking glad when the ship capsizes and brings down that ghastly bastard Chrimble tree.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:17, Reply)
I bet you got your presents wrapped in brown paper and stuffed in an old beige sock

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:19, Reply)
Haha, I do favour a more classic style of wrapping paper, yes.
Not quite brown parcel paper, but none of that tacky foil based shit, either.

I am a RIGHT LAUGH.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:20, Reply)
if there's one thing that shouts out Festive Season, it's restraint and delicacy

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:24, Reply)
Bondage with a bow on it.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:32, Reply)
I always wear a bow on mine.

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:37, Reply)
Morning has broken, like the first morning, blackbird has spoken, like the first bird.
Makes you think, doesn't it?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 8:39, Reply)
not really, I really only think about newsreaders and that

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 8:41, Reply)
Peter Sissons y/n?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 8:41, Reply)
y

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 8:50, Reply)
We used to sing that at church.
Church was rubbish. Hymns are the worst sort of music, and anyone trying to jive them up with a little honky tonk is a cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Dec 2014, 8:59, Reply)
bit racist

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 8:59, Reply)
Black people don't count,
They need cheering up as they are shit on by everyone all the time.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:09, Reply)
except that one they voted president

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:10, Reply)
Nah hymns are great cos you can change the words in assembly
"Oh come let us ignore him, Oh come let us ignore him, OH COME LET US IGNORE HIM, CHRI I ST I'M BORED!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:02, Reply)
I heard a reggae version of a Christmas song on the radio, yesterday.
Fucking reggae. I swear down the singer was Andy Williams, too.

Appalling taste is not exclusive to this particular epoch, it seems.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:15, Reply)
I have just eaten a fucking great big dirty bacon roll at my desk.
Hot smelly food in the workplace for the motherfucking win.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:16, Reply)
worst rabbi ever

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:17, Reply)
Nah man, godless heathen ain't I.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:18, Reply)
so's Lionel Blue

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:19, Reply)
Two thirds of the way through my bucket of coffee.
My heart's going nineteen to the dozen.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:39, Reply)
back at my desk
4 people so far have told me i look like shit and should be in bed. marvellous, can't hear that enough.

i just couldn't face another day working from the sofa. how do some people work from home 5 days a week?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:53, Reply)
You look like shit

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:53, Reply)
You look like shit

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:54, Reply)
You should be in bed

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:55, Reply)
SSRIs

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:58, Reply)
you all suck

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:58, Reply)
r u ill?

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:59, Reply)
just a stupid cold
but i really resent them. fuck off, you shitty little virus.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:05, Reply)
stop licking the hand rails on the tube

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:12, Reply)

hand rails windows

tube sunshine bus
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:20, Reply)
my taxi driver should have been driving the sunshine bus this morning
not a fucking clue where he was going, and was like some kind of magnet for traffic.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:22, Reply)
I hope you explained how important you are and called him a shit.

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:27, Reply)
no
i did a lot of british sighing
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:33, Reply)
bit racist
most of us aren't crippled by middle-class insecurity
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:35, Reply)
yeah
post some more pictures of your "garden", go on...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:38, Reply)
I've never posted any pictures of my garden ... why would I post pictures of my garden?

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:41, Reply)
is my garden to blame for her insecurity? that seems unlikely

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:42, Reply)
oh so you built a pizza oven in someone else's garden
and showed off those pictures out of a desperate need to show what you've "achieved"?

that does make sense.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:43, Reply)
wtfayboa? and what does this have to do with your colossal sack of insecurity?

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:48, Reply)
YOU LEAVE SNOWBRO ALONE

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:52, Reply)
no way, dude
Snowbro must be super secure to watch his missus being a retard on the internet all day without a glimmer of embarrassment
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 11:01, Reply)
Working from home is a discipline
All that skiving won't do itself!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:03, Reply)
Disable auto-away on office communicator.
Turn email noises on and laptop volume up.
Put hands down front of pyjama bottoms.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:07, Reply)
what if you are wearing a nightdress?
or, in the sexy sexy case of me feeling v sorry for myself, a bright yellow t-shirt from nathan's hot dogs on coney island, featuring a hotdog sashaying around with a bottle of ketchup, a bottle of mustard, and the caption "that's just how i roll" ?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:09, Reply)
Office communicator isn't loaded on my laptop - I think

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:18, Reply)
get over it, you feeble cunt

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:11, Reply)
if you were a real scientist, you'd have found a cure by now

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:13, Reply)
galton found a cure for feeble cunts over a century ago

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:14, Reply)
considering you could be killed by a meringue, gayest of all the puddings
you're not really in much of a place to talk about other people being feeble
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:16, Reply)
I know, right?
I have a genuine life-threatening condition and you have a temporary minor inconvenience and yet you're the one who's been dribbling with self pity all week.
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:23, Reply)
She needs to man the fuck up and get herself a fanny bag

(Mr Udagawa, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:24, Reply)
That is still pretty gay though

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:25, Reply)
I dunno ... I reckon asthma and epilepsy are gayer.
But it's definitely up there in the Gay Condition Charts.
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:26, Reply)
not fucking life threatening enough

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:30, Reply)
Is this the tradtional cure
for "hysteria" by "massage"
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:21, Reply)
I always have a wank when I get the giggles.

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:23, Reply)
I think it's more his contribution to eugenics
but now thanks to the PC brigade we have to just put up with spastics and gypos.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:24, Reply)
#Pray4RS

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:15, Reply)
They'd been hoping not to see you today. Or at all ever again.

(Mr Udagawa, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:20, Reply)
Easy now. She's very important.
They had to rearrange the crocodile when they walked to the bus stop yesterday.
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:24, Reply)
Our rach must be in londons only special needs lawyers office. An SRA charity thing where retards pretend that they're solicitors.

(Mr Udagawa, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:27, Reply)
I think it's lovely.
Out here in the provinces they just make them collect shopping trolleys and weave baskets.
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:28, Reply)
how now, horrible cow?

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:53, Reply)
No, just having a shit
Work canteen has added Cumberland Ring and Black Pudding to the Friday fry-up options. I approve and have voted in favour with my wallet. Congestive Heart Failure here I come!
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 9:59, Reply)
We're going to start cooking daddy-daughter brunch soon.
I've discovered her favourite food is black pudding. She devours the stuff.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:02, Reply)
horrid euphemism of the day award right here

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:05, Reply)
I had a couple of butteries on the way to work.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:07, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buttery_%28bread%29
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:10, Reply)
Aye, them.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:12, Reply)
I am quite partial to a buttery.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:30, Reply)
Quality food.
Up there with the pie in a roll.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:36, Reply)
macaroni pies
Tattie scone.

Haggis scotch eggs.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:38, Reply)
I don't really like macaroni pies that much.
Big fan of the Thains lasagne pie though.

And haggis pakora.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:40, Reply)
haggis is an all round good ingredient

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:43, Reply)
Can't beat a 'Wigan kebab'

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:40, Reply)
I just found a box full of unopened pink lametta!
Imma sending this shit right over to Kroners!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:09, Reply)
Everybody Loves Gay Christmas

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:12, Reply)
we had 2 christmas trees when i was a kid
a tasteful one that my mother did, and a kids' one for the play room. every december my brother and i draped the same 1970's lametta over that tree, which took us seconds. and every january we took it off, piece by piece. which took us hours.

in hindsight, my mother was a genius.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:15, Reply)
Lametta is great, you just take it off with the hoover.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:24, Reply)
or let the neighbours' cat eat it

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:25, Reply)
You've never known true misery until you've pulled lengths of shitty foil out of a cat's anus.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:36, Reply)
I saw someone pulling a long length of towel out of a dogs arse once.
It was like a horrible magic trick.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:37, Reply)
my friend's dog used to fish used tampax out of the bathroom bin and eat them
that is about as gross as it gets, i think
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:39, Reply)
^used to eat tampax out of a dogs arse

(Mr Udagawa, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:41, Reply)
Jesus that is vile.
I once caught my old housemates dog joyfully tucking into her own turds.

Made a change from my glasses, I suppose.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:41, Reply)
*bowk*

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:42, Reply)
I like it when dog owners kiss their dogs

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:43, Reply)
I think he is more a vespa man

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:23, Reply)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*raises fists to heavens*
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:35, Reply)
*festoons fists with tinsel and lametta*

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:46, Reply)
>:(

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:50, Reply)
*hangs gaudy baubles off eyebrows*
*sprays with fake snow*
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 5 Dec 2014, 10:59, Reply)

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