Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
Ho Ho Fucking HoMy work are having a "Festive" day. Which means everyone has to wear a Christmas jumper, or some other, slightly less embarrassing Christmassy accoutrement, like a santa hat or tinsel cock ring. Luckily, there's also food. And a QUIZ #OMLGMEGAEXCITE
Does your workplace insist on such forced jollity, and if so do you indulge them?
Alt: What snacks would you bring to a "fuddle", which is a word I've only just learned. I made Quorn mince, mushroom and blue cheese meatballs, which I think is fucking brilliant but you're going to call poof's nonsense.
AltAlt: I dunno, pantomimes
(, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 7:17, 154 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
thankfully not. someone gave me some lights and stuff to put up if i wanted to. i did not. i shall indulge in payday desk cans as is traditional on fridays.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 7:59,
Reply)
Luckily our office is not generally fully staffed so the Xmas 'jollity' is minimalWe hot-desk as and when necessary'
Alt: I generally go to an Indian sweet centre and get shitloads of samosas, pakoras and bhajis. Always goes down well. As to your meatballs (fnaaar) I quite liked the description - apart from the blue cheese which is made from the rotting smegma of gangrenous camels as any fule kno.
Altalt: Years since I've been to a pantomime. The ones at the Belgrade theatre in Coventry used to be legendary
(, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 8:14, Reply)
I don't understant the comedy/irony/whateverthefucktheimageissupposedtoportray(, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 8:55, Reply)
because, you tedious blowhard, you recorded a phone call before you went all Falling Down in the Co-Op.(, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 8:59, Reply)
The doorbell just ranggave me such a shock, I jumped and the cbeese slice I was about to eat flew up in the air.
A case of "ding dong Dairylea on high".
(, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 8:23, Reply)
Lynchmob for localboy(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 8:35,
Reply)
I'm going to claim that as my ownand spread it around the office like ebola
(, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 8:40, Reply)
The gusset of my boxer shorts has perished leaving my balls dangling through them like two clammy Christmas kiwi fruits.Does this answer the question?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 8:40,
Reply)
don't throw them away, i expect they'll be most pleasant in the summer months. (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 8:49,
Reply)
That'll teach you for buying Ukrainian under crackers#ChernobylFallout
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 8:56,
Reply)
^^Golf clap^^Which, strangely enough can also rot your undercrackers.
Here all week/veal etc
(, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 8:58, Reply)
I have a pair of Jack and Jones that have gone the same way(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 9:02,
Reply)
We had a an Xmas lunch and secret santa exchange in WednesdayI got a really well thought out present of a condiment gun and some haribos. I fucking hate haribos and I don't like both ketchup and mustard on a hot dog or anything else.
(
Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 8:49,
Reply)
Well if you'd stop gazzing me pictures of your california raisin I might get over it(
Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 8:57,
Reply)
the underwear is brown, and the pubes are grey(
Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 10:10,
Reply)
Ketchup and/or mustard are fucking awfulHowever, clearly you are a mental case for not liking Haribo.*
Except for the ones shaped like milk bottles, they're rank.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 8:53, Reply)
Chin up grumplegran, they were only trying to do good. How the hell were they supposed to know you're an anhedonic grumpleknickers?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 8:54,
Reply)
Blimey, it's like being insulted by Buddy The Elf :((
Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 8:56,
Reply)
Fuck me I miss HariboThe day I realised that by giving up meat I'd unwittingly denied myself TangFastics was basically worse than anything that's ever happened to anyone.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 9:03, Reply)
Now, giving up meat is one thing I may actually be able to do, despite my love of dead animal fleshBut giving up Haribo? Over Dozer's dead body!
(, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 9:07, Reply)
What the fuck is a 'fuddle'?We have the odd 'forced hilarity' costume day from time to time, but I try to avoid dressing up. I figure no-one wants to take medical advice from someone dressed like a muppet.
Back when I worked at the airport, the managers used to tell us motivating things like 'England are playing a big international tomorrow. We're all going to wear England shirts.'
To which my answer was always 'I think you'll find we're not.'
AltAlt: pantomimes are shit and for kids.Like One Direction.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 19 Dec 2014, 8:53,
Reply)
Fuck knowsEveryone here seems very au fait with the term, so I can only conclude it's a Nottingham thing which I missed during my years of exile
(, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 9:04, Reply)
A food puddleb3ta.com/links/W_O_W:24
(
MyFrontFellOff ; his mouth full of teddies, urinating defiantly, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 10:17,
Reply)
We had a christmas jumper day I refused to join in and my office was devoid of decorationI like Christmas but refuse to join in with lolwhacky twatness, for this I am apparently a miserable cunt
(, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 8:53, Reply)
I donno, I don't start my job until Monday - because I start my new job on Monday ! Yay Monday !I spent yesterday sketching out prototypes and ideas.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 8:55,
Reply)
bit hipster that.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 9:37,
Reply)
Just done the school run, might bake a cake this morning (
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 9:26,
Reply)
Did nobody think to bring any for the fuddle?(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 19 Dec 2014, 9:38,
Reply)
FuddleIsn't that a bad thing? in New Zealand? As in 'Kuddy fuddler'
(, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 9:40, Reply)
Workplace-enforced jollity is the best form of jollity.Watching the pained expressions of the slightly more intelligent members of middle management as they don whatever characteristics it is that has been demanded of them as they interact with the proles I find nothing short of enormously arousing.
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 9:47,
Reply)
Morning DarthThey do try but fail miserably.
Alt:
Meat
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 9:51,
Reply)
Full of lovely coffee, taYou?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 10:23,
Reply)
If it's any consolationI've just made a cup of coffee for the Sky engineer who's here to look at our dish.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 19 Dec 2014, 10:31,
Reply)
it's our do tomorrow. Usually a lavish affairWe're partying in Liv nightclub where, according to the facebook pics, none other than legendary Jordan toe fucker Dane Bowers was there?!?!?! OMGLOL
alt. Whatever happened to cbeese, pineapple and onion on a cocktail stick, eh?!
Iceland prawn ring
altalt. He's behind you!
(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 9:56,
Reply)
alrightFuck Buttons in my headphones, on a coach, just settling in with a nice book.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 9:58, Reply)
Wasn't Stunned on his office night out last night?I wonder what state he's in today.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 9:59,
Reply)
ours was last nightOur MD badly broke his ankle and got taken to hospital this morning.
Lol.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 10:00, Reply)
I never understood the 'badly broken' thingIf he's done a great job of breaking it, surely it's excellently broken.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 10:09, Reply)
It's over six hours later and you're still hanging?Either you did a very good job of installing and servicing a hangover or you're a girl.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 10:29, Reply)
That shandy goes right to your head, you know.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 19 Dec 2014, 10:30,
Reply)
i heard you weren't even drinking, you're just tired from a late night because you are so very old now(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 10:34,
Reply)
Hahahaha!It's funny because he's even older than me!
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 19 Dec 2014, 10:37,
Reply)
quite so. i am now having a nice cup of tea and a toasted tea cake.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 10:38, Reply)
Full fry-up and tea is the best kill-or-cure hangover breakfastAs you are not a girl, clearly you did a very good job of installing and servicing a hangover
(, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 10:41, Reply)
the nearest place for that is a Wetherspoons but I don'twant to go there in case I have a pint.
(, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 10:42, Reply)
Could you update your profile, it's just bugging me now kaythxbyemissyouluvyouwoowooxxx(, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 10:10, Reply)
Our works do was a black tie affair in an exclusive nightclublast Friday.
Alas, I was in Birmingham for my brother's birthday, walking out of a Greek restaurant after being served pink chicken and then being ignored for 45 minutes. Cheeky fuckers reported us for theft.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 10:09,
Reply)
nah, the local plod contacted his doris who'd booked itand she explained what happened, so police are treating it as a civil matter and not getting involved.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 10:17,
Reply)
Why is a picture of Zammo from Grange Hill the most popular post?(
Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 10:18,
Reply)
it's not the most popular, but thanks anyway(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 10:28,
Reply)
Innocently confuse Christmas jumper with Christmas juniper.Drink straight gin and sing Lilly Fucking Allen songs all day.
(
MyFrontFellOff ; his mouth full of teddies, urinating defiantly, Fri 19 Dec 2014, 10:20,
Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »