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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Were people drinking and B3ta-ing last night or was it just me?
What was the last IRL argument you had and did you win?
alt. weekend plans? Im doing a nice daytime drinking sesh tomorrow.
Then it's hangover Sunday with Judge Rinder
altalt. Do a limerick about a B3tan

or don't.

Bumholes, right?
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:09, 148 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
UH OH!!! Another online popularity contest!!!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:14, Reply)
I win!

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:18, Reply)
I "won" an argument with a guy at work when he was adamant the water was off and I disagreed.
The fact that he got soaked proved me right. That was this morning.

Alt: yoga, hang a new bedroom door, get fucked up.

Altalt: there once was a fat gay online,
whose bumhole was the size of a mine,
he liked to suck nob,
and worked a shit job,
and we all hope he'll drown in the Tyne
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:17, Reply)
ppi claims team leader m8, he was headhunted for his admin skills and professional qualifications

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:19, Reply)
Don't you dare Cranley me, m8.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:25, Reply)
I have a special contempt for claims management firms.
Their staff are invariably spastics and I take pleasure in telling them to fuck off when we receive letters from them.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:27, Reply)
This.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:37, Reply)
they don't understand the very rules they try to use

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:01, Reply)
You have contempt for anyone dozer.
Also.
BOVVERED?
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:44, Reply)
*everyone
But especially the obese.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:29, Reply)
Does getting "fucked up" not negate the yoga?

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:21, Reply)
Nah makes you more flexible dunnit
deeper fucking up
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:26, Reply)

There was a poster called Jay
Who was quite obviously gay
He started shit threads
but soon he'll be dead
when he inevitably gets aids.
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:18, Reply)
Your timing is off

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:19, Reply)
metre

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:19, Reply)
timbre

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:21, Reply)
no, metre

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:28, Reply)
It's just your accent making words three times longer than they need to be.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:20, Reply)
I wasn't
Hang on thats two questions before the alt. I argued with my 6 year old Daughter about whether or not she could have an iPhone. Yes I won, but not before she cried and told me I had ruined her life.

Alt. My mate is jumping out of a plane tomorrow, I might go and watch and hope he survives.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:20, Reply)
Kids are growing up way too fast. SIX?!
Aren't they happy with crap plastic fake ones?
Who is she calling?
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:22, Reply)
She's 7 on Monday

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:23, Reply)
Abide by this internet credo
To avoid the attention of paedos
Don't mention your tots
Within the earshot
Of baggyfrock's retentive libido
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:28, Reply)
You're like Edward Lear or summat

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:30, Reply)
You should employ him as a lyricist.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:32, Reply)
it's like finkin of wurdz is well easy or sutin

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:35, Reply)
Do you have any creative writing qualifications?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:37, Reply)
funnily enough, me and a bunch of chums did a creative writing course a few years back as the result of a drunken conversation with the tutor
No limericks were involved. Sad times.
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:41, Reply)
Get it on the CV, it all counts!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:42, Reply)
fuck that ... I'm adding it to my business cards
underneath my Tufty road safety badge
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:23, Reply)
Creepy as fuck
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2460047
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:01, Reply)
not everything is about you, you moose of mediocrity

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:20, Reply)
Alt alt
A b3tan sat in disbelief
That people won't donate to McBeef,
Then Kroney the Prick,
Said this limerick,
Doesn't rhyme, but your metre's fine Chief
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:21, Reply)
^^^^^^
Take note!
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:22, Reply)
I was wondering what happened to L'Kroney

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:26, Reply)

Probably.
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:47, Reply)
I'm a lover not an internet fighter
You unspeakable fat pillow biter
Rugby and beers
With some IRL queers
Could this messageboard get any triter?
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:25, Reply)
yes

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:27, Reply)
I mainly argue with children IRL and there are no winners in that situation.
Alt: A finely tuned balance between responsible parenting and smashing it.

Altalt: There was a fat poof from Fallow-
Field, head shaped just like potato
My metre is wrong
But I didn't spend long
Thinking up this limerick, yo.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:25, Reply)
lol he's a tattie heided buftie cunt

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:28, Reply)
shit, i forgot.
Appraisal in two minutes!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:28, Reply)

There once was a fella called Gonz,
Who's name thankful rhymes with Fonz,
But they're nothing alike,
One jumped over a shark with his bike,
And the other ebays for used thongs
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:28, Reply)
An internet champion called Pauly
Was treated online rather poorly
The pedants were boorish
Coz he cudnt rite Inglish
And teased the fat yid very sorely
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:34, Reply)
Hah

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:32, Reply)
I dun a stomplol
Didn't even notice.

Soz Beefy, you'll only bloo delete anyway
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:33, Reply)
Jaysum last night:
i.imgur.com/u2QK1dR.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:38, Reply)
Lol does look a bit like him and all.
I didn't need to see that though
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:40, Reply)
Thought I'd share the misery

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:42, Reply)
and you *ahem* came across that pic how and why?

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:46, Reply)
CAME across more like!
Wait!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:04, Reply)
It was on reddit with the name "hairy flower" (NSFW)
so I looked.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:45, Reply)

There once was a B3tan called Beef
whose actions were beyond belief
when a lady said hi
to the toilets he'd fly
and tear-stain the bowl with grief
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:39, Reply)
Alright GJ
In the Cheese, meets a girl and starts crying
On his feet down the street he is flying
She's not that put out
When she spies a cunt sprout
And ROFLs around till she's dying
(I ent lying)
(I helped save b3ta! Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:41, Reply)
there once was a man called meatsnake
a limerick he tried hard to make
he was really lazy
his mind rather hazy
jason looks like a fat jeremy spake

this weekend i'm sleeping in the new massive bed and going to hawksmoor and stuff. i don't argue with people really, apart from when i bicker with swipe and always win by quoting her own words back at her in a funny northern voice.

cheers
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:41, Reply)
oh, you BRUTE!

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:47, Reply)
alt: some comedy night thing with Paul Foot, possibly others

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:43, Reply)
Didn't he die about ten years ago?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:45, Reply)
I think you're confusing the comedian with the investigative journalist.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:49, Reply)
Ok, looked him up and now I'm confusing a comedian with Brian Eno

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:50, Reply)
Brian Eno died ten years ago?
That goes some way to explaining the last time I saw him perform.
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:59, Reply)

A colonial slut named McBeef
As a pet kept a Great Crested Queef,
'Neath its slavering jaws
Swung its momentous baws
And its arse-pucker beggared belief.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:44, Reply)
Definitely Edward Lear.
click
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:45, Reply)
I can't help feeling he'd write this sort of thing these days
if he were still alive and no longer felt he had to be a prissy Victorian.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:47, Reply)
A+ for jaws/baws

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:47, Reply)
Rabbie Burns, sors de ce corps.

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:49, Reply)
Dozer just gazzed me this one
alright yer alright yer alright yer
alright yer alright yer alright yer
alright yer alright yer
alright yer alright yer
alright yer alright yer alright yer
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:53, Reply)
arf

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:28, Reply)

Miss Shenanigans appeared with a wave
and the menfolk soon gathered and craved
they were in for a knock
for Miss Shen had a cock
and was really a trucker called Dave
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:56, Reply)
Kind of stole from beefy there.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:56, Reply)
Dave? How very dare you
*scratches balls*
(I helped save b3ta! Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 10:58, Reply)
cor!

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:02, Reply)
:'o(

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:03, Reply)
U ok hunni? XXxxxxXX

(I helped save b3ta! Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:05, Reply)
you tarnished his good name

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:07, Reply)
Oh, sorry Dave Meatsnake, no offence buddy!

(I helped save b3ta! Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:15, Reply)
A certain young fella named Jaysum
Trawls the bars for gay men, likes to chase 'em
his expressions are dire
when "poking the fire"
which is why he prefers not to face 'em.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:09, Reply)
A woman who went to New York
A food wrong, who doesn't eat pork,
For 800 an hour,
This scarlet musk flower,
Will eat diet yogurt with a fork.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:12, Reply)
>:(

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:22, Reply)
Sorry? What did I do wrong here? Is it 900 an hour?

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:23, Reply)
It's more ginger than scarlet from what I've heard.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:24, Reply)
Lies on the internet that's all

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:27, Reply)
PLUS vat and disbursements

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:27, Reply)
it's a limerick, sometimes you can't get all the info you need in

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:29, Reply)
A foodwrong from somewhere down south
can be quietened by using your nous
You simply employ
the standard reply
yhcciym
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:29, Reply)
front page this now

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:31, Reply)
Yeh big problem with it though
Shes northern.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:09, Reply)
eww ... how ghastly

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:21, Reply)
An off topic poster named Phille
Crowdfunded for cash, willy nilly.
The premise was sound
A costume he'd found
but 2 grand for a bear? That's just silly
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:50, Reply)
jolly good

(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:51, Reply)
I don't argue - right!
Alt: Weekend of debauchery and regrets - same old same old

Altalt:
A midget-like B3tan called Cranley
Tried to be all tough and manly
on an internet site
but his banter was shite
just like his split-up crap family
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 11:56, Reply)
Captain Placid was posting that he
Liked things that rhymed with PTHC
Pink noise testin'
And child molestin'
A great big fat Tapir, wee-wee.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:06, Reply)

Ol' Meatsnake has been through the wringer
Has a cock like a floppy small finger
He keeps his cock hard
With viagra and lard
He has to - he's shagging a ginga!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:13, Reply)
:-D

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:15, Reply)
Captain Placid the internet bore
Was fond of pre-teen hardcore
His internet chums
Had tremendous fun
With alternative acronyms galore
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:21, Reply)
placid the horrible cunt
polishes thoroughly her cunt
he plucks the hair cleanly
can we please teach him clearly
to pass-up this horrid cuntstunt
(old man river possible lesbian, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:34, Reply)
CAPTAIN PLACID DUN A LOL

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:08, Reply)
Bask in my glory.
Pay rise and bonus - here I come.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:05, Reply)
A rather poor effort.
A deviant Geordie called Jay.
Conformed in all but one way.
He loved to wear hats,
In which tramps they had shat,
And left out in the Sun for a day.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:05, Reply)
I made this too difficult I think....
Captain Placid, the heartless cad
Sold printer to hopeful college lad
Placid, the horrible cunt
put two holes cross the front
and said "print? Tough, ha, can't - you've been had"
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:19, Reply)
Is this a cryptic crossword clue?

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:37, Reply)
Only if you profess to hate crosswords

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:41, Reply)

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