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( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Right then, you pricks, how's fucking life on a fucking Monday morning, then?
I am cock-a-fucking-hoop. I reduced the woman to near tears with my cooking on Saturday. She promised it was because I'm so amazingly good but then she spent most of the rest of the evening in the loo. I'm guessing a near religious gastronomic experience like that requires you to take a couple of hours out for contemplation. I weren't bothered; I played a ton of Elite in my pants. Rocking. What did you ugly cunts do for your smelly whale lovers?
Alt: I've found a fucking house. Not made an offer, much less had it accepted but we're doing all that shit this morning. I really hope it all goes through successfully because the house is fucking lovely. I'll be gutted if it falls through. Would you all like to wish misery upon me?
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 7:47, 155 replies, latest was 9 years ago)
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( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 7:49, Reply)
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( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 7:50, Reply)
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In common means that the deceased's share becomes part of their estate and is disposed of according to their will.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 7:52, Reply)
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If you are, hell yes, tenants in common. If they are, or if it's the same contribution, joint tenants is fine/better for you.
Because you don't have to die for the relationship to end and the house to be sold. And in my job you see one fuck of a lot of bitter people going for every penny they can.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 8:10, Reply)
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Unmarried couples may wish for their share of the equity to be kept in the family, especially if the deposit was funded from a legacy.
There are IHT considerations as well, there's no IHT between spouses but there is where couples aren't married.
Depends if the equity exceeds 325k though.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 8:13, Reply)
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( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 8:15, Reply)
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( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 8:20, Reply)
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Do not EVER take kitchen tips from me
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 8:21, Reply)
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( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 8:28, Reply)
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It cost faasands and faasands of pounds but the drawers are massive.
[your mum joke here]
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 8:27, Reply)
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Feel free to fuck off back there and stay there
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 8:19, Reply)
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Like I said, remember you're not just talking about the death of one partner here. If you're putting in more, you need to be careful. I had one client who had put down 95% of the deposit and paid every penny of the mortgage for 8 years. When she found her wastrel fiancé perving over her kid/his stepdaughter, she kicked him out. He went for half the house on the basis he had contributed to the deposit and it was joint tenants. She was beyond devastated.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 8:18, Reply)
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My Brother in law sold his Porsche 911 to put the deposit down on a place with his fiance. Just after moving in day he found out she was fucking most of his FRIENDS. The bank won't give him a mortgage in his own name even though he has been paying the lot by himself for years now and it got very nasty because they are 50/50 on the Mortgage despite her living there for about a week and not paying a penny towards it. Its sorted now but it was a pain. She wanted to just sign her interest over but she was told she had to get legal advice, which she couldn't afford. So my Bro in law ended up paying for her solicitor as well as his own and her solicitor told her not to do it and to fight for half. Luckily Bro in Law stopped paying her solicitor, she couldn't afford him and in the end signed the paperwork, but years of stress and worries.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 8:32, Reply)
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It's horribly unromantic but much better to sort these things before you commit your cash. Hopefully you'll never need to worry about it, but if it does go all Pete, you'll be sorry if you don't.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 8:38, Reply)
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Unless your partner is stumping up all the cash. Then keep your mouth shut and go for 50/50 when it goes pear shaped.
Weren't you listening?
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 8:46, Reply)
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That's my advice; don't marry a whore.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 8:40, Reply)
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Alt. No, I wish you the very best.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 8:13, Reply)
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But first I'm going to kill the next twit who pronounced latte as laah-tay.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 8:16, Reply)
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( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 8:17, Reply)
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weather was much better than forecast so was lovely.
Now stuck on a train to a conference without so much as a can to make the experience bearable :-(
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 8:21, Reply)
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If earning a living were no object, I'd move to there or Dartmoor in a heartbeat. I'd spend my days walking the hills with the horizontal rain soaking my dress whilst I wailed about my Heathcliff :'(
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 8:32, Reply)
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( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 8:45, Reply)
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( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 9:47, Reply)
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Arse first then gob... the traditional way
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:09, Reply)
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Stayed here once which was lovely:
www.armathwaite-hall.com
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 8:39, Reply)
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plus an amusing detour into the Lakeland shop, you have never seen so much expensive stuff designed fir one- off situations in cooking.
I especially liked the bbq thermometer that linked to your iPhone...
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 9:12, Reply)
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Y'see the main problem with Monday mornings is that they usually mean the start of the working week and, as previously discussed, this whole 'working for a living' thing is nowhere near as much fun as other stuff, like sitting round in your pants getting drunk and that.
Alt: Babies next.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 8:49, Reply)
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then it's lunch at 12 and home at 4. It's basically a half day.
It'd have to be marriage first, I ain't rearing no bastards. Even so, I'm going to have to fuck up seriously to have to play the marriage card to make things better.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 8:52, Reply)
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How's the new job going big K?
I did dinner for the lady, it was a roaring success and I even managed to include mushy peas (crushed minted peas).
Then watched a shit film.
Alt. Buy my house, then let me live in it for free.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 9:00, Reply)
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Job's going pretty well, it's just busy. I don't get much time to doss about anymore.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 9:13, Reply)
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Valentines day was alright, I covered the house in thousands of cheap plastic rose petals. There was a trail of them leading upstairs to the bedroom, where I lay in wait naked, but for more plastic rose petals...who said romance was dead eh? haha. then we went to leicester square for food and comedy.
alt: no, not really
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 9:31, Reply)
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You need to nail the fucker: go in 50K over the asking and throw in a go with your missus. You can't mess around in the current market.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 9:36, Reply)
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( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 9:52, Reply)
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I hope that means we'll be alright on that front.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:02, Reply)
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( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:03, Reply)
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In that no one had put an offer in on the place and as soon as we did about 3 other cunts decided that they were in.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:04, Reply)
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so by the time it went back on the market the owners had ripped literally everything out of it down to the light fittings
But the estate agent was a lazy prick and never updated the photos
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:19, Reply)
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That'll be it. Nobody wants pissed septics charging through your garden because they've had the first skinful of decent beer in their entire lives.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:19, Reply)
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Ah its your friendly Estate Agent, he definitely doesn't want to fleece you
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:04, Reply)
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she looks like she can afford decent scents and hair products.
And prolly does it up the Gary.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:11, Reply)
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Everything about him screams it except the small matter of a family.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:20, Reply)
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( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:24, Reply)
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Looks at all the innuendo he directs at the chubby troll he works with. Blates girlfriend ego-boosting stuff.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:26, Reply)
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( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:01, Reply)
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it's the mrs I'm worried about, she's proper fallen in love with the place.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:21, Reply)
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if you're buying for some crass investment reasons then you've basically lost at life
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:25, Reply)
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But I agree, the reason it took us so long is because we couldn't find somewhere that gave us the horn, basically.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:27, Reply)
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Masochism?
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:41, Reply)
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They refused but we really liked the place so we offered 10k below asking. They refused again, we decided we really liked it so we put in the asking price. They responded that they thought the house was worth more than the asking price and they were hoping to get offers over the asking price (fucking idiots) they said they were insulted at the offers and took it off the market. It came back on a year later for 50k less than the year before. some structural issue I believe.
Lucky escape.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 9:50, Reply)
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The vendor had put it back on the market with the attention of securing a second offer in order to bully the first offerer into getting his finger out. We were told we'd know by 5th Jan. We didn't, so I called to learn the deadline had been extended. Heard nothing since.
Fucking pricks. I hate being used.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 9:52, Reply)
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They had first time buyers eagerly put in offers but with no intention of selling it to them.
Arseholes.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:45, Reply)
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She kicked off at my mate for doing a big smelly dump when the bloke was inspecting it.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:56, Reply)
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but you definitely get dickheads or people who've been lied to by their estate agents who are totally unrealistic. when i bought my flat, the one i really wanted was near gloucester road, with a key to one of those amazing secret square gardens, like in "notting hill". it was just at the top of my budget, and i KNEW it was way cheap, so banged in an asking price offer.
yeah... the next day she got foxtons round, who valued it at £500,000 more. funnily enough, she rejected my offer. and in the end she got £480k more, so the first one was a total fuckwit muppet.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 9:54, Reply)
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www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/health/skunk-smokers-secretly-want-something-weaker-2015021695390
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 9:52, Reply)
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since nobody asked.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:24, Reply)
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Garage is almost cleared in time for building works to start, so pleased about that. Binned a load of shit off, ate some nice steak, cooked some lamb, jobs a good 'un. Bish bash bosh
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:24, Reply)
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( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:25, Reply)
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which is actually more like a concrete bomb shelter. The garage roof needs to be replaced and 'ting too and they are using that way in to do the extension along the back of the house
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:26, Reply)
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Chances are you've got the land to do a proper extension if you've got a garage. Let the garage be a fucking garage.
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:29, Reply)
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I get to get rid of those fucking horrible tiles!
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:36, Reply)
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( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:45, Reply)
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www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/three-women-arrested-after-man-5169837
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:47, Reply)
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He is shouting "RATS! RAAAAATS PISS ON THE FLOOR! RRRRRRAAATS PISS! RAAAATS PISS ON THE FLOOR! HINDU, SIKH OR MUSLIM? RAAAATS PISS ON THE FLOOR!"
***END OF TRANSMISSION***
( , Mon 16 Feb 2015, 10:50, Reply)
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