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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Shit thread for irredeemable cunts like me, dozer and tangles.
Alt: what worries keep you awake at night? I'm getting very anxious about the effect that the inevitable Russian ICBM strike on london will have on the price of my house.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:14, 43 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

i.imgur.com/Uj2wEbR.jpg
(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:15, Reply)
nice hat

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:17, Reply)
It is the definition of fashion for the modern gentlesir.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:19, Reply)
We should talk about the AGE DISCRIMINATION in the Tinder pricing and how it IS UNACCEPTABLE
like all the cool kids are doing.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:19, Reply)
*swipes left*

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:22, Reply)
poor Meatsnake :(

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:24, Reply)
This deserves credit
*credits*
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:39, Reply)
thx for ur support

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:40, Reply)
I shouldn't be coming up on your searches.
Also do gays even use tinder I thought they were all about the grindr?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:24, Reply)
gaydar, tinder, grindr, scruff, hornet, growlr, pof

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:53, Reply)
Has no one brought out a bendr yet?
*calls dragons den*
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:58, Reply)
BLENDR IS FOR DYKES

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:07, Reply)
what?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:45, Reply)
If you're over 28 it costs £12.50 a month to use tinder "properly" now under 28 it costs £5

(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:48, Reply)
Not really any different to nightclubs letting ladies in free.
No one wants to have casual sex with an old person.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:50, Reply)
Plenty of people do! Just ask Geord(addy-)i(ssu)e(s)Jay

(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:55, Reply)
maybe you should go out and speak to people. that's free.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:00, Reply)
Speaking to people is over rated.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:01, Reply)
what the fuck is tinder?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:43, Reply)
oh, it's a dating thing
paying to meet people? I don't get it.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:45, Reply)
I was too late for my Kool and the gang thread.
I'll sprinkle a little magic in here for you losers.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:22, Reply)
Needs moar alt
Or a question. Any fucking question. If you don't post one, I'll just start answering questions of my choosing, and you won't know what they are, and you'll go mental.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:24, Reply)
give it a rest

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:24, Reply)
No, not since 1997

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:29, Reply)
I think it was Alan Smith, wasn't it?
Glanced it in from close range, can't remember who delivered the cross though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:30, Reply)
Nigel Winterburn

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:37, Reply)
Never got that far up the pitch

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:39, Reply)
Turmeric, if you can't get saffron

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:30, Reply)
One of Donovan's less successful b-sides.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:32, Reply)
I can get saffron, pal.
As much saffron as you can handle.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:36, Reply)
I you like safferon, you should try saffen-off dis dik

(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:38, Reply)
Is this a euphemism?
Cos now I've relocated I need a new saffron supplier

Please note; I don't actually need saffron
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:39, Reply)
It's only £1.89 a gram. Don't see what the fuss is about.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:40, Reply)
alt: nothing
cheers
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:38, Reply)
alt: Nothing. I sleep like a baby*
*with my arse in the air and a rubber device in my mouth
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:40, Reply)

like with
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:41, Reply)
Not since she had that plastic surgery
/jennifergreylols
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:42, Reply)
This deserves more credit than it's received

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:06, Reply)
*puts in corner*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:15, Reply)
Alt:
Only shit things keep me awake at night. Stupid work problems get solved suddenly in my sleep at 3am, waking me up, stuff like that
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:41, Reply)
nothing, I sleep soundly in the knowledge that everything is fine.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:47, Reply)
Many, many things keep me awake at night
Very few if any of them are worth losing sleep over. But once the thought pops into my head, that's it. Pretty much every night my brain will decide at 5am that musing on who the better Interconinental Champion out of Chris Jericho and the Ultimate Warrior is vastly perferable to sleep.

Also cats.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:47, Reply)
I reccomend putting a plastic bag over your head
The slight reduction in oxygen levels should help you relax and drift off into a refreshing nights sleep.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:49, Reply)
I think lots of us should do that together
And tattoo single letters spelling out "MAGNETO WAS RIGHT" onto our chests.

It'll downright confound the authorities.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:51, Reply)
How can you worry about who is the better actor in acted fighting?

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:53, Reply)
Please see my reference to very few if any of these things being worth worrying about
It's not like this thought pops into my head and I decide it's well worth musing on for the next few hours
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:56, Reply)
'ultimate worrier'

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 14:56, Reply)
i like this

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:15, Reply)
Also;
Jericho is the better actor, but the Warrior would be better in an actual fight.

Not NOW, mind you.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:03, Reply)
I sleep like the dead
Never been kept awake or been awakened by worry.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:04, Reply)
yeah ok

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:05, Reply)
sweet

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:05, Reply)
th reply count is fucked up, yo.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:08, Reply)
Editing a thread does that.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:11, Reply)
get fucked, you uppity prick.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:15, Reply)
No need to be so upset.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:16, Reply)
I need to show some emotion to be upset.
and let's face it, for you, that's never gonna happen.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:21, Reply)
I don't understand...

(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:25, Reply)
he's breaking up with you.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:32, Reply)
breaking up is hard to do

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:35, Reply)
then whhyyy doess it keeeeep happennninggggg

(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:41, Reply)
paedoprick, bestialprick and lentilprick
alt: i don't like the thought of the IS nutters getting hold of nuclear or biological weapons at some point.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:16, Reply)
Considering they're pretty much based in Iraq and Syria the payload would probably need to be delivered by camel.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:19, Reply)
it's still enough to give you the hump

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:20, Reply)
water way to go

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:22, Reply)
t'would be a good thing if they just got rid of themselves in one fell swoop.
*sends weapons*
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:22, Reply)
Did you see them throwing gayers off rooves?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:35, Reply)
and hacking hands and heads off people

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:35, Reply)
pooves off rooves

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:38, Reply)
if you spell it "roofs", it might read better...

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:39, Reply)
I'll do it correctly is how I'll do it.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:39, Reply)
so, "roofs", then...
Roofs

Roofs is the most widely accepted plural of Roof both spoken and spelt, it is often pronounced as "Rooves" which has lead to all this confusion!

Rooves

The word Rooves is not considered correct as a plural of Roof and would be difficult to find in the dictionary. There has been notable errors in some dictionaries opting for the word Rooves as the plural for Roof but this has been a mistake on their behalf
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:43, Reply)
bollocks. the plural of roof is rooves.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:49, Reply)
YEAH! Is the plural of Hoof Hoofs or Hooves!
So roof must be Rooves and the English language is perfect with literally no contradictions
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:50, Reply)
WRONG FUCKO

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:51, Reply)
Which fucko were you looking for?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:53, Reply)
YEAH!!!

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:53, Reply)
Apology accepted.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:54, Reply)
here
imma go with the oxford dictionary over the lewisham dictionary!

www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/roof

i enjoyed this bit: Words that rhyme with roof
aloof, behoof, goof, hoof, pouffe, proof, shadoof, spoof, Tartuffe, underproof, woof
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:53, Reply)
since when did woof rhyme with roof?
what kind of dumbass dog has the author got?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:55, Reply)
Woofter, as in a gay person?

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:56, Reply)
still pronounced wuffter though innit

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:00, Reply)
I find it's one of those words that varies place to place.
Lahndaners definitely say woofter.
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:11, Reply)
Locals like to call it 'The Dictionary'
but it's really just a piss-soaked yellow pages in a vandalised phone box.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:55, Reply)
wooooof?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:55, Reply)
modern usage innit.
when I was a lad it was rooves.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:56, Reply)

rooves all fields
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:59, Reply)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:00, Reply)

all fields a slowly condensing cloud of interstellar gas
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:01, Reply)
hahahaha

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:01, Reply)
They're not all bad then.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:41, Reply)
I wanted to but the tickets had sold out

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:47, Reply)
They wouldn't know what to do with them. Fucking backward retards.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:33, Reply)
how come they expect everyone else to live like it's the medieval times
but they're allowed smartphones, cameras, the internet etc etc...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:36, Reply)
the quran wasn't written at a time where legislation could be made regarding digital gadgetry, although i'm sure allah in all his glory would have forseen these future technologies and designated them as haram if he didn't want them used in the jihad
cheers
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:42, Reply)
I like it when they've got free cds on the cover

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:48, Reply)
Information Services are an essential and much-maligned part of this organisation
you're going to the back of the queue next time your PC breaks.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:36, Reply)
my new trainee is horrified by how often our printer breaks
she is adamant she is going to get IT to replace it. yeah, good luck with that, been trying for about 5 years. they just send out some gimp with a toolbox, and he does precisely nothing.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:38, Reply)
Perhaps they'll respond to someone younger and prettier

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:40, Reply)
so you're saying anyone who works in IT is shallow and pathetic?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:43, Reply)
oh not just IT, most men

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:44, Reply)
I know I am a chaivinist

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:46, Reply)
When I was an IT tech I definitely gave a service that varied in quality depending on how female, young and attractive the customer was.

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:49, Reply)
So the old and ugly ones get the best advice because you don't want to keep seeing them?

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:51, Reply)
I think all teas are equal

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:49, Reply)
Except proper tea ...

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:50, Reply)
laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:50, Reply)
I hope you are not including me in 'most', I'm not shallow or pathetic.
I'll have you know I prefer old ugly women.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:52, Reply)
so does tangles
and so does his wife
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:53, Reply)
cool, let's set up a swingers party

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:55, Reply)
king louie lols

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:58, Reply)
why isn't this on the front page yet

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:03, Reply)
cutbacks

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:12, Reply)
Stick it on /calendar

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:58, Reply)
but what if young beautiful people sign up? what then?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:00, Reply)
*looks around b3ta*
I think it'll be ok
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:02, Reply)
I can't make it.
Sorry.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:02, Reply)
they wouldn't be nearly young enough for you, watkins

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:03, Reply)
mostly the gays

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 15:54, Reply)
18 replies delte dis plz

(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:04, Reply)
lying awake at night is for poofters and blobbing birds

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:06, Reply)
are you pronouncing that 'pooofters' or 'puffters'?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:08, Reply)
WHY DONT YOU JUST CALL THEM PEOPLE!

(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:09, Reply)
Too kind.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:12, Reply)
stay pooft

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:09, Reply)
poof the magic dragon

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:09, Reply)
faggots

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:10, Reply)
alright blacklegs

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:11, Reply)
rhymes with "scone"

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:10, Reply)
I sleep pretty soundly after a hard day laughing at clients who have lost hundreds of thousands of pounds and then complained a week too late.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:09, Reply)
duller than psychochomp

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:11, Reply)
I'm more employed than him as well.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:11, Reply)
you say that like it's a good thing

(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:13, Reply)
might go and see Sleaford Mods tonight

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:14, Reply)
I'm going to see them soon.
I do like a bit of a shouty jumpy drunk gig.
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:15, Reply)
they're in york tonight
They just visited my pal's shop.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:16, Reply)
you should deffo have a pint with them.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:18, Reply)
20th march in fucking Hitchin
I'm not even convinced that's a real place.
(old man river possible lesbian, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:18, Reply)
You should definitely do that

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:16, Reply)
I thought you didn't do PPI?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:16, Reply)
I don't, this is high end investment shiz m8, the kind of stuff you'll never take part in

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 5 Mar 2015, 16:24, Reply)

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